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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27734278">Teach You A Lesson</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/frostiwars/pseuds/frostiwars'>frostiwars</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>The Cantankerously Bloated Teach You A Lesson Expanded Universe [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Don't Hug Me I'm Scared (Webseries)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Alternate Universe - Human, Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Arson, Backstory, Bad Decisions, Bad Parenting, Body Horror, Canon-Typical Violence, Child Abuse, Everyone Has Issues, Family Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Gods, Horror, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Implied/Referenced Torture, It Gets Worse Before It Gets Better, Minor Original Character(s), No Romance, Possession, Resurrection, Robots, Suicide, This Is Gonna Take A While</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-11-27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 18:34:02</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>61</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>85,127</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27734278</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/frostiwars/pseuds/frostiwars</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Good LORD what is happening in there?<br/>A very very long and complicated human AU, which provides backstory to everyone, gives everyone a PoV, and still shows the content of the show and aftermath. In a world where all object shows take place in the same universe, humans and objects are the two main species around. Humans are humans, obviously, and objects are humanoids with ink bodies and heads made to resemble whatever object they are.<br/>I wonder what will happen.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Duck &amp; Red Guy &amp; Yellow Guy (Don't Hug Me I'm Scared), Roy &amp; Yellow Guy (Don't Hug Me I'm Scared)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>The Cantankerously Bloated Teach You A Lesson Expanded Universe [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/2274281</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>26</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Colin the Computer Prologue: [UNNAMED] Escapes</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Test Tube was utterly ecstatic. This was really was her chance to make it big! She knew her life had held the promise of fame and visibility; it just so happened that this wasn't the path she was expecting. She’d been invited to one of the most prolific online shows that ever starred objects, with the chance to win any prize beyond her wildest dreams. Inanimate Insanity. Just thinking about it made her heart race. She wiped nervous sweat off of her glass cheeks and retied her malleable glass hair. Thankfully, no liquid had spilled when she was hopping around excitedly at the invitation. But really, how could she not?? Luck had even struck her like lightning as the location was right on top of her alternate laboratory! She’d lose no work at all!</p>
<p>Well... she would lose a FEW choice projects.</p>
<p>Test Tube released a light sigh that she'd been keeping locked in her lungs as she trailed through the lab one last time. Dragging her bag of miscellaneous belongings behind her, she couldn't help but reminisce. Some of these projects could never be transferred to her other lab, and by the time she could come back, they’d be far too dilapidated or outdated to continue. The sunk cost fallacy, as much as she loved it dearly, would not be on her side this time around. </p>
<p>She would miss the ever-heated oven and the holo-mask, although she could never get them to work and suffered a few slight burns in the process. She loved all the blood, er... ink, sweat, and tears she’d put into them. Part of her worried all of her other experiments would pale in comparison to the dozen or so she had to leave behind. Fate was a cruel mistress. But not as cruel as her.</p>
<p>The one that saddened her the most was her unfinished robot.</p>
<p>She hadn’t even gotten around to properly naming it yet. Its brain hadn’t been fully completed and she felt a rising sense of guilt as she approached its unfinished body. It's thin, silky hair tumbled in front of its glasses-covered eyes; its moderately slim, inky body wearing only a pair of long shorts with plug logos on them and shoes shaped after computer mouses. She hadn't reattached its right arm and its stomach region was nothing more than a metallic spine connecting its torso to its hips. Averting her eyes pained her just as much as looking at it. It was like a small child in its motions, fidgeting around in a tube, glancing around with blank confusion and wonder, constantly taking in everything it saw. What a shame; it would never gain the life she deserved to give it. And really, she did deserve that power, so she surely had as much right to take it away. Her pulse was sickeningly loud, and it only swelled as she inched towards the outlet, still unable to take her gaze off of her silly little robot. </p>
<p>As Test Tube pulled the plug, she turned around to watch the last light die out of its strange, red eyes.</p>
<p>They stayed as bright as always.</p>
<p>It looked confused as it swiveled it’s head around. She then saw a strange spark in its eyes, as if someone had flicked a switch that "turned on" its circuitry. It seemed to realize that its tube had grown cold and different, and at this awakening, it began to try and flail its arms. Its space was limited by the tube, whose insides were growing ever colder, and if Test Tube didn't know any better, she would've thought it was scared. But surely that wasn't true, she hadn't gotten that far, had she? Test Tube began to subconsciously step backwards, unable to control her own fear, and at that moment, the robot immediately stopped and stared at her. It didn’t understand anything except for two facts. The room was growing cold, and its parent was leaving it behind.</p>
<p>The robot looked at her for a few more moments that felt like hundreds of hours compressed into one second, then it finally pulled its gaze to its one working arm. Another quick glance at her, then it ran its finger against the glass, as if assessing its texture. And then... it took its good arm and SLAMMED it against the glass with all its strength! Surprisingly, it caused quite the crack as the glass spiderwebbed away from the impact of its hand and Test Tube jumped back in shock. ABORT! ABORT!! The robot persisted in slamming its hand against the glass and Test Tube frantically fled the scene. She scooped up the last of her belongings and bolted to the door, up the stairs, and out to freedom and safety. As the crack in the glass crawled its way across the tube, the robot didn't even notice the ink pouring out from its now-damaged hand. And then its prison shattered.</p>
<p>The robot tumbled out of the tube and face planted directly onto the ground. It lay motionless for a long stretch of time. Any outsider would have mistaken it for dead at this point. Eventually, however, its artificial neurons began connecting and it figured out how to move again. It didn’t have a lot of experience besides watching its creator. How did she walk? On two feet. </p>
<p>It was hard enough, pushing itself to stand on two legs, and even harder to keep a balance. Imitation of the father. It was to do exactly as she did. Its head tilted around wildly to keep the center of balance at bay, and eventually, it found itself taking its first steps.</p>
<p>It drunkenly swayed back and forth as it walked. Strange, but a good start. It didn’t know what to do next, or really what was going on at all. But it saw her walk forward to the bright exit, so it decided that it must do the same.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Colin the Computer Chapter 1: What's Your Name</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>okay things are getting started for real here</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The robot aimlessly trailed around in an odd circular motion. The bright thing above it, what was that? It was big and colorful and cold, the sky. Sky, the robot didn't know the word for sky. It didn't know the word for... anything at all. Perhaps that was to be expected. It was basically a baby after all. It hadn't learnt anything besides what it had just seen. But somehow, it had a deep awareness that children its age don't often have. Small children don't know things in a conscious way, they only feel, but the thoughts are not quite what we would recognize until they reach a certain age. However, this child, it had full awareness and understanding without any of the information someone of its continence deserved. </p><p>The outside-of-the-lab world was cold. It should have been colder on the inside, with all the metal and air conditioning, but the robot knew that despite this bizarre contradiction, it was colder out here than in there. There were strange and tall green things surrounding the lab and- ah! The floor was green too. And spiky. The robot could not feel it fully through its shoes, but it had a sense for its texture just from looking at it. Intuition, unfinished as it was, was still ingrained in the creature. As it tried to walk forward some more, a strange emotion crawled up its neurons. Emotion? Was that the correct word? Maybe not, as it was more a logical and clinical reaction to a bad situation. Perhaps.</p><p>It felt strange, lonely, and a little scared. Scared. That wasn't real, and it didn't know what it meant to feel scared, did it now. It was natural to "feel" that way though, because sentient creatures desire being with another. It needed more. </p><p>It knew about language, that the concept itself existed. Logically, how else would its creator have made it? The thought crossed its mind, but it had no way to verbalize it. It was more like a collection of memories and visuals than a thought formed of words. One was supposed to use language to communicate, correct? But it didn’t know any of it. All it knew was that it wanted its creator back, and noise was king.</p><p>The robot let out a bizarre, undefined, electronic scream in the hopes to get someone’s attention. No one responded. There was nothing. Well, no matter. It’d just have to keep moving forward until someone, or something did respond. The large green things were scary, but there was nowhere else to go. And so onward it marched. As it tottered along, letting out scream after scream, it wondered to itself whether it would ever find someone in this seemingly endless wood. It also kept bonking its head on branches, despite its shortness. Why had it been made so short? Maybe its height was unfinished as well... </p><p>Eventually, however, the robot did find someone. A short person. quite like itself, was hobbling around carrying a wooden stick. They seemed to need it to walk. It screamed once more to get their attention and the person turned their head towards the robot. At first, it seemed confused, tilting its head slightly. The robot was enraptured by the way their gray hair tumbled in front of their face, and it noticed that its creamish beige hair acted similarly when it mimicked the head tilting motion. The person finally conceded to check out the strange humanoid creature lurking in the forest, and painstakingly staggered over.</p><p>The person looked it over, trying to decide how to address it. They finally settled on, “Hello there, young man..." Another cursory glance at the robot's vacant expression struck a nerve in them, and they croaked out an, "Are you lost?” </p><p>Man... young man. The robot had heard of gender before, at least, the idea of it had been one of the things pre-burned into its brain. He supposed he was a boy then, since that's what the person called him. The person looked like a girl too, although he wasn’t sure due to lack of a database. Best not to make assumptions when he didn't even know what he was a few seconds ago.</p><p>“Oh! You have an ink body," they continued. Huh, if they only noticed it just now then they must be half-blind. "You must be an object, not a human then.” There was an odd twinge to their voice when they said that. Objects and humans are different things? Well, he guessed he was an object then, since that's what the person called him. So that’s two things figured out now.</p><p>“Er, do you speak English young man?”</p><p>English... well he could understand it... but not speak it. His creator had used it for certain, and now he knew the name of it. But if he couldn't speak it, how could he refute that? Thinking back to his creator's own nonverbal expressions, he remembered one important one. He shook his head no.</p><p>“Oh my! You’re a lost child all alone in the woods, and you can't even speak English?” </p><p>Child? Hmm. That didn’t seem right. Something told the object that that was the first thing they'd assumed wrong about him. Oh well. </p><p>“This will never do, not a'tall! Do you have any parents at all? D- Did they just leave you here?” Their voice was so terribly strained from emotion, it almost hurt the boy's ears. Parents? Very unsure... but his creator did just leave him there so... He shook his head yes.</p><p>“Oh, how horrid!" Something in the object's chest called him to question their sincerity, but at the same time, it didn't seem right to do so. "Do you have a name young man?”</p><p>No.</p><p>“Oh, dear... alright. Er, perhaps I should take you to my house... I’ll make sure that everything will be alright, a- and we can work something out. Does that sound nice?”</p><p>Yes.</p><p>“Wonderful. Here, let me help you along. Your arm doesn't look so good.”</p><p>............................</p><p>The old woman took the confused boy home and decided to take him as her own child. His parents were nowhere to be seen, even after weeks of waiting, and he seemed to be suffering from amnesia by the looks of things. After all, how could a child of his age not have a name or way or any knowledge of any language? She’d noticed after a while that he had a few... visual oddities. He had a visible spine connecting his chest and his hips with nothing else in between. A banged up arm dangled at his side. Perhaps that was a result of being an object? She’d never really gotten to know much about them, as she'd always lived alone. Maybe their anatomy could allow for injuries like that.</p><p>The old lady wondered what kind of parents would leave an amnesiac child in the woods with nothing but a pair of shorts and shoes. She’d tried to ask him if he knew anything after she began to teach him English, but all he would talk about was his “creator.” She had a few speculations, like a crazed cult or a science experiment, but she never bothered to give them much thought.</p><p>He always expressed his gratitude for teaching him language, but not much else. He never commented on anything, not the house, not the woods, not anything at all. He was so quiet most of the time, and the one thing she knew about him was that he didn't like being suddenly startled or touched. He would freak out and scream for a moment, then fall into his silence again. While he seemed intent on consuming all the information he could from books and the like, he never used this information or even seemed to retain it well. She would occasionally test him on the things he read, but he only seemed to take in about 45% of it permanently.</p><p>One day, he had gone into the woods and came back with a fixed arm and shirt that seemed perfectly fitted for him. It tapered to his body, with a checkered pattern on the front consisting of green, red, blue, and yellow, and a single stripe with what looked like a computer screen on it. The sleeves were half length and dark green, with bright green lines spiraling around them. When the woman touched the screen, she was surprised to find it was real glass and not a pattern, and even more shocked that he could display things on it. He said it came from “the lab” but didn’t tell her anything else. She didn’t want to pester him about it much more. Whatever place that could produce such things was not somewhere she was terribly interested in anyways.</p><p>She had always wanted a child though, often wondering what she would name them if she did. Luckily, this meant she had a name stocked up just for this occasion. It was a human one, of course, not quite fitting of the traditional object naming scheme, but surely nothing bad could come of that. The boy’s name would be... </p><p>Colin.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Colin the Computer Chapter 2: So THAT's How You Kill Someone!</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>gore warning uh oh that was fast. </p>
<p>anyways. i should probably mention that i'm taking all this from my dhmis amino page and editing it to be better here. which is why i'm posting so fast. there's not much benefit to reading the amino version unless you want to see the chapter art though.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Colin had been staring at the blank television screen for almost an hour in shock. He didn’t know that THAT was possible. It was... utterly fascinating.</p>
<p>He was watching TV mindlessly, like he had many times before, and came across a movie. Everything seemed so innocuous at first, just a band of people getting called by a mysterious and wealthy individual to a giant mansion. Nothing much piqued Colin's interest, but it was sensory input at least. Until, about 30 minutes in, something bad happened. </p>
<p>The characters began to die in cruel and increasingly complicated ways. Colin was utterly shocked by what was happening in front of his very own eyes. The way their life drained out of them, the way the blood pooled everywhere, the way the just... stopped moving and the world continued even as someone had been taken out of it was... amazing. That was the word for it. Amazing. Exciting. Terrific. Colin had never seen violence before, he’d never seen murder before. Logically, a part of him knew that things came to an end at some point. He recalled the time he'd found a dead flower, and he didn't even need the old woman to explain to him what had happened. He'd always knew, but this was different. Something about it made his brain click. Like a light had gone off.</p>
<p>“What if I could do that too?”</p>
<p>Death was not something that only came by the flow of nature. It could be controlled by another. He liked that thought. He liked the thought that he could change something permanently and it would never go back to how it was before. It didn't even seem all that weighty to him. It wasn't a monstrous thing, murder and violence; it was just... something completely different to everything he knew. </p>
<p>He didn’t understand why he wanted so badly to try it out. Why the idea of a change was so enticing. One could attribute it to faulty or unfinished programming, but he didn’t know he was a robot, and he didn’t seem to realize that murder was, well.... wrong. Immoral. To himself, he was just an object with a desire. Did he even have morals? Did he even know they existed? </p>
<p>No.</p>
<p>Did that make him at fault? He didn't ponder the question, as it never crossed his mind. How could he consider the ramifications of his next few actions if he was not even aware that there was a ruleset to break. One could say there was fault in that, but even if they did, he would not care.</p>
<p>Colin finally stood up in a daze. Everything was clicking together in a way an outsider could never quite process. Even though the rest of the movie was already slipping away into the recycling bin, in a way he knew from experience he could never get it back, the murders still hung heavy and loud in his mind. He blinked woozily and slowly turned his head to the kitchen. One of the deaths, the one that had the least amount of screen time, was a stabbing. Such an action could be done with something sharp, and the kitchen was a room that consistently held the sharpest objects in the house. Ah, yes. It was all coming together.</p>
<p>Colin walked into the kitchen and fumbled with the drawers. No matter how hard he tried, he never seemed to remember what went where. Only some of it ever stuck around, but what did, he remembered perfectly, like a picture taken and stored in his mind. Finally, he located the knife drawer and picked out the biggest, sharpest one he saw. As he turned it around in his gloved hand, he felt a rush of excitement. The logistics of it was still odd to him. He had forgotten one crucial detail: who was to be his enemy? </p>
<p>Yes, his enemy. </p>
<p>There were others around him, correct? He couldn't simply attack himself, that didn't make any sense. There were the neighbors, but it took hours to reach them. He didn't want this rushing, pulsating, beautiful sensation to fade. There really was only one option. </p>
<p>Colin sprinted towards the old woman’s room and threw the door open in a frenzy. His footsteps were so heavy that they'd left dents in the floor, and his glowing, red eyes were shooting around the room wildly. She grunted, rubbed her eyes, and said, “Mmm- yes, dear? Is something wrong?”</p>
<p>Colin felt like he was on autopilot. He watched himself walk forward, but he couldn't hear his own footsteps. She was saying something, but there was no noise. The rustle of blankets was not heard, but felt on his own skin. He wasn't moving with the normal irregularities or tremors; it was cold, methodical and efficient. As he rushed toward the lady in a flurry of artificial adrenaline, he somehow felt completely out of control, and yet felt completely natural. There was someone controlling his body, but he liked the decisions they were making. He felt something burning and thick splatter all over his face and shirt. The knife was digging into the flesh so easily, like running a hand through a stream of water. There was no resistance, at least, not any that lasted long. Not from her, not from him... He hurtled the knife towards her over and over and over and-</p>
<p>Colin finally stopped. He looked down at his work and felt an uncontrollable tremble in his body. Strange, she didn’t really look humanoid anymore. Was it even the same person, he wondered. Was it. He dropped the knife and and breathed in shallow gasps, even though he didn’t REALLY need to. His lungs (were they even real) felt tight, like his chest was being crushed by a bowling ball. He felt a liquid that wasn’t blood or ink run down his face. It was too cold and thin to be either. The corners of his mouth felt strained, for some reason. Perhaps he was just tired, he thought.</p>
<p>The room was a mess. When he opened his mouth to speak, his voice did not accurately reflect the state he was in, not in the slightest.</p>
<p>“Oh wow!" his voice imitated a chipperness, but it was still just an imitation. Something lay underneath it that he'd really rather quash. </p>
<p>"Th- That was exhilarating!" Yeah, lets pretend that's the word for it. "Hmm. But now I don’t have anywhere to live. I can’t stay here after all.” Who was he talking to? Why couldn't he stay here? Well, logically it was because he ------ --- </p>
<p>He just couldn't stay here.</p>
<p>Colin pondered for a moment and drifted about the room. The carpet was already beginning to smell, not that he had a very good sense of smell anyways. He eventually reached the old woman’s desk. There was a large, beautiful map from ages ago, detailing so many things in all its glory. His eyes scanned it and locked on to one island in particular.</p>
<p>“Britain? Hmm. That sounds fun." He was unsure if he knew what fun was. He knew the definition at least. "I want to go there. But how would I-“</p>
<p>As if to answer his question before he even finished it, a loud boat horn blared in the distance. When had he regained his hearing. The port wasn't all too far away. About as far as everything else was at least. He could just hitch a ride there. </p>
<p>For a moment, he thought about how poor a decision it was to live all alone, so far away from everyone else. He would rectify that.</p>
<p>Colin stumbled back into the kitchen and opened the fridge, looking for food to bring along the way. His head twinged a bit in pain. Of course, every time he tried to eat something, he’d always spew it back up (must be an object thing.) But he knew he HAD to eat; she had said so herself. He grabbed a bag of tiny oranges and traipsed out the door to the port. He’d be somewhere new and exciting soon. </p>
<p>It’d be... so much fun!</p>
<p>So much.......... </p>
<p>Fun...</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Colin the Computer Chapter 3: The In-Between Blues</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>aw man i wanted to really get cracking early today but amino was down. but now its back up</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Colin idled around the wooden dock of the port, taking in the sights and sounds and sea. He'd been here only once and only saw it at a distance, so this was essentially a new experience. The thought of visiting a new place had excited him so much that he had indeed forgotten to clean the blood off of himself, and everyone was giving him funny looks on the way here. It took until someone asked him if he was injured for him to realize it and jump into a nearby river. Honestly, it was a miracle that no one made the connection that he wasn't covered in ink, but it was a connection he could not be grateful for, since after all, he did not know it was wrong. By the time he'd arrived at the port, he'd already dried himself off. He began searching for the the schedule to see if there was anyone leaving for his destination. If not, he might have to take more than one boat. But, ah, the universe had smiled upon him that day, and there was a boat scheduled to leave for "Great Britain" today. He was so invested in the abnormality of his surroundings that he was having trouble actually finding the boat. The expansive waters before him, the smell of salt, the people roaming about, it was all so much... more. His small bag of belongings dangled heavily at his side while his head swiveled around in search of his transport.</p>
<p>Eventually, a very nice book object noticed his plight and walked over to him. They introduced themself as the dock's guide and kindly asked where it was he needed to go. Colin was taken aback for a moment. He'd never spoken to, or even seen this up close, another object before. He took note of their literally papery hair and skin, and they're similarly inky body. It had a slight blue tint to it, as opposed to Colin's pure black. After asking again, he finally answered his required location, and they helpfully (and frankly, naively) pointed Colin in the direction of a large, metallic boat. He wasn’t quite sure how he’d board this behemoth. As he observed the other humans and objects boarding the boat, he noticed them handing a man in front a small slip of paper before heading inside. Fumbling through his pockets revealed the unsurprising fact that he did not have a ticket. This wouldn’t do at all.</p>
<p>Colin mildly panicked before noticing a small, hatch-like window on near the bottom of the boat. Interesting. Flipping his head towards the boarding guard one last time, he sidled away towards the edge of the dock. For some reason, he felt as if they wouldn't like it if he cheated the system, but it did not matter. Colin hurtled himself off the edge towards the hull of the boat and latched on to the side of it. He found his arm digging in to the metal, as if he was somehow strong enough to dent it. He felt a sense of pride, at being so cool. However, he quickly shrugged it off and punched more holes in the boat as he inched towards the window. Smashing it open with his head and scrambling into the inner storage systems of the boat was easy as cannoli.</p>
<p>He settled his aching body against some wooden crates and found his eyes easing shut. Why did all of his joints creak like that? That didn't sound very normal. He tried to roll his head around on his neck but found it stiffening up. Perhaps it would be best to just... rest. He’d had a long day after all.... It would be wonderful to get some... quiet... He curled up in a ball and lay next to a crate, letting the ocean lull him to sleep.</p>
<p>...............</p>
<p>Colin let out a long, autotuned yawn and rubbed his open eyeballs. A strange, gnawing sensation was biting against his left arm and he drowsily turned his head to see a rat biting through it.</p>
<p>“AUGH!!” Colin squeaked and waved his arm up and down repeatedly, finally swinging the rat off. It flew against another crate and smacked onto the ground, falling still. He swung his head around frantically and saw that 1. his bag of food was completely empty and 2. it was midnight.</p>
<p>“H- how long have I been out? Oh dear...” Looking out the window, he saw that they were already approaching another port. </p>
<p>Colin shuffled around the storage room looking for some sort of calendar. It would be a stretch but surely someone needed to know the time down in the storage room. Eventually, he spotted one resting on a gargantuan box near the entrance. Picking up the calendar, his eyes widened.</p>
<p>“Oh- oh my... three months..? That’s... quite a long time...” Colin felt his voice break and that strange liquid welled up around his eyes again. Why was he so upset by this? Bizarre of him, wasn’t it. He could have laughed at himself, it was so bizarre. On the plus side... they'd be arriving somewhere soon. Isn’t that great? Yeah... great. Was it even the place he wanted to go to? He somehow doubted that the trip to Britain took 3 months. But he couldn't wait any longer, he'd just have to settle for wherever they were arriving in now.</p>
<p>Colin trailed back to the crate he slept by, sat down, and pulled his legs against his chest. *Sigh*</p>
<p>He did feel a little bad... he almost missed his old home in the woods, by the lab. This felt strange and sick, being here alone, and far away. But it was what he wanted, so he pushed the sickness away. And he still didn’t understand why he felt so bad about sleeping for so long... or even HOW he did that. Was that normal? Of course it was. He was normal. He was just another object.</p>
<p>He wished his bag of food was still there. He liked eating and, by all means, he should be dead right? Humans and Objects can’t live that long without eating, right? That’s what the old lady said... but maybe he was remembering it wrong, like he often did... hmmm... Her image was already being compressed in his brain. Oh well, who gives a care.</p>
<p>The rat trailed back over to Colin, seemingly having recovered, and he rested his gloved hand on its little head. Cute. That was a fact. The liquid stopped coming out of his eyes, which was nice because it made him feel quite horrible. Colin curled up on the floor with the rat and waited for the boat to stop. His hair kept falling in front of his face, but he didn't want to change his hair style.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Colin the Computer Chapter 4: Just Some Boring Registration</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>this editing stuff is taking longer than i thought it would. god, the old stuff is so barebones, its practically unsalvageable. and colin's got the longest segment of all the teachers!! how horrid. but i must PERSERVERE</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Colin heard a man opening the storage room door and perked up, seeing him shuffle around a bit before heading off in a different direction. The boy took the opportunity to slink out of the room and onto the boarding dock. It seemed this ride had passengers too, so he managed to blend in decently. After finally reaching the stony pathway off the dock, he felt that strange sensation of sorrow from before momentarily shoot through him. He clutched his chest and bent over, but only for a moment. All the passengers passing him stared with a mixture of concern and confusion. He didn’t notice... or maybe he didn’t care, he just wanted to go to the town he saw down the road.</p>
<p>Yes, bright shining city on a hill. That would be the new place, he was certain of it. </p>
<p>He trudged down the cobbled road glancing around at the buildings speckled around it. They were much taller and more complicated than the old house he lived in. They looked very methodical, angled, clinical, professional. It reminded him of the laboratory, and he smiled. At the end of the road, he spotted a large gate-like building that blocked the entrance to the walled-off town. Everything here seemed so grey and warm. He liked it immensely.</p>
<p>The gate-building arched over his head menacingly as he watched others buzz about through the rooms halls and offshoots to rooms deeper inside, most already knowing what to do but some having to ask for help. The cacophony of people speaking to each other blended into one great sound that he loved. It was like the buzzing in his skull from when his creator was building him. He noticed that the ‘helpers’ to all those poor, confused souls all wore the same clothes: blue overalls with a gray shirt and another blue hat. Therefore he easily identified one and walked up to them.</p>
<p>“Excuse me! Where am I supposed to go?”</p>
<p>“Are you trying to enter the city?” the man in overalls mumbled gruffly.</p>
<p>“Yes!”</p>
<p>“Is this your first time entering the city?”</p>
<p>“Yes!”</p>
<p>“Alright, we’ll need some identification, follow me.”</p>
<p>Colin and the mystery man entered into a hallway to the left and trailed off to the right into a room with long lines of people and metal gates at the far end. More workers with nicer clothes were sitting in glass boxes and talking to the people at the front of the line, before letting them pass through. The man dropped Colin off and he waited in line patiently.</p>
<p>Very.... very..... patiently.....</p>
<p>Two hours later, the little object reached a lady behind the glass.</p>
<p>“Identification please,” she drawled out in a sleepy tone.</p>
<p>“....Er- I don’t think I have any.” Colin felt a strange anxious feeling creep through his head. No, stuff it down, this is nothing to worry about.</p>
<p>The woman glanced at him in annoyance, before finally noticing his appearance and sitting up straighter. “How old are you exactly?”</p>
<p>Colin reached into the dark recesses of his mind for a number. Ah, yes! He remembered a number on his creator’s papers! Eighteen. She was saying something, something he didn't understand at the time. "Built to look eighteen," so therefore he must be eighteen!</p>
<p>"You gonna say anything kid?" </p>
<p>“I’m eighteen!” he finally shouted out, a silly grin spreading across his face.</p>
<p>She looked at him like she didn't believe a word he was saying. She muttered, “Damn short for a..." then cut herself off and continued louder, "Well your parents should have made you get some form of identification by now...”</p>
<p>“Well, I’m not so sure about that. My creator abandoned me and then I had to leave the nice lady’s house because she died,” he stated matter-of-factly.</p>
<p>“....”</p>
<p>Colin’s smile faltered. He didn’t like that face the lady was making, not at all. It was... really scary.</p>
<p>“You’re an object, correct? What’s your name?”</p>
<p>“Colin!”</p>
<p>The lady’s face flashed with fear for a moment before calming herself. She did think that something about this... child(?) seemed extremely unsettling, but he didn’t appear to have any malicious intent. He did have black ink, not blue, but still...</p>
<p>“Strange. You don’t look corrupted.... So I’m assuming Colin the....” she raked her eyes over his odd, colorful appearance and functioning shirt screen, “Computer?”</p>
<p>“Hm, sure!” Lets go with that.</p>
<p>“Wh- what’s your birthdate?” she glanced at the calendar on her work computer. 17/01/15</p>
<p>The answer tumbled out of his mouth without a second thought. “Hmm.... I think it was about- THREE DAYS—SIX MONTHS—THREE YEARS- ago.”</p>
<p>At this point the woman had no idea how to handle the situation. What even was this... thing standing in front of her?! Somehow she had the feeling that it was not fooling around when it said all these things. All she knew that it was decidedly NOT an 18-year-old object. Everything it had said up to this point had to be a lie, or... misinformation?</p>
<p>She laughed nervously. "Well, listen, young man... It looks like you don’t have any... identification so I’m going to have to call in someone to help you. Is- Is that quite alright?” She was unsure whether this thing was dangerous or not, so it was best to be extremely polite. </p>
<p>Colin stared blankly at the woman behind the glass. This was wrong. He didn’t know why but everything felt wrong. He felt his eyes shift out of focus as he tried to grasp his ‘emotions.’ Why was his progress being impeded upon? That was unacceptable. He had done nothing incorrect, had he not? He'd told the truth and nothing but the truth.</p>
<p>The next thing he knew, he was in a small, gray room with another man in blue overalls.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Colin the Computer Chapter 5: I Am NOT a Robot</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>pretend that the title of the chapter is said in the same cadence as wheatley portal 2's "I AM NOT A MORON!!"</p>
<p>cadence? what a weird word choice.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Colin found himself in a small, concrete room near the end of the hallway. It was cold and full of harsh light from the single lightbulb in the center of the ceiling. There were two dinky old foldable chairs and a scratched wooden table lounging in the center of the room. The man in front of him was glaring at the boy, but when he noticed he was "conscious" and looking towards him, he softened up and sighed. Colin half wondered if his face was something that made others uncomfortable. No one ever reacted to it the same way. </p>
<p>Colin watched the worker settle himself into one of the chairs and he awkwardly followed suit.</p>
<p>“So... you claim that you are 18 years of age?”</p>
<p>“Yes sir,” Colin recited confidently. It seemed correct to use polite words like sir, just as it felt right to him to be the age he claimed he was. Why couldn’t anyone else see that?</p>
<p>“And you claim that you are also an object, a computer one at that. Pretty modern seeming...” Of course, there were computers 18 years ago, and they would have been the bulky kind he was seemingly formed after, but still. </p>
<p>“Why, yes. What else would I be?”</p>
<p>The worker sighed and folded his hands in front of his face, glancing up at Colin distinctly. Colin felt a chill run through his spinal cord.</p>
<p>“According to your... ‘records’ you’re three years old, kid. And from what else we can glean from you, you’re definitely not an object.”</p>
<p>Colin felt his body turn even colder than it normally was. Everything he'd said was true. Nothing had contradicted his age, no matter what his date of creation said. “That doesn’t make any sense! I remember being eighteen! I look like an object, don’t I?” He clenched his fists without ordering them to. </p>
<p>“Listen, your previous statements and quite frankly childish behavior lead us to believe you were ‘created’ about three years ago, like you claim,” the worker stood up and began tapping his clipboard with a pen, “Furthermore, closer inspection has led us to believe you are in fact NOT an object. Everyone knows only corrupt objects take HUMAN names but you show no signs of it besides the ink color. No other oddities that could be explained with corruption mutation, and your true abnormalities have only one real explanation. You have metallic body parts, missing body parts, wirey body parts, and the strangest brain construction we've ever seen. We have no choice but to come to the conclusion that....</p>
<p>you are a robot.”</p>
<p>Time seemed to slow down, as if he was processing everything at a faster rate than ever before. Colin felt something inside his circuitry snap. No, he wasn’t! He wasn’t a robot!! He couldn’t be, robots aren’t people! He knew he was a person, he knew he felt real things, made real choices. He was normal, he had to be an object!</p>
<p>Colin shot out of his chair, knocking it over as he screamed, “NO!! NO NO NO I’M NOT!! I’m not a robot, I’m a real living object AND YOU CAN’T MAKE ME SAY OTHERWISE!!!”</p>
<p>The worker nervously worked his way towards the volatile boy, “Hey, calm down kid. You don’t have to get upset about it, it’s just a fact of life, there are plenty of other robots out there-“ Colin felt his left wrist twitch and turn in a circle, “We can still find you a home or even some identification. You don’t have to get all worked up about being a—“</p>
<p>The worker didn’t have a chance to finish his sentence. Right as he place his hands on Colin’s shoulders, Colin screamed “DON’T TOUCH ME!!!!”</p>
<p>Colin felt his hand move without orders, shooting straight through the man’s neck. Blood oozed out of the corners of the wound and down his arm as he stared in surprise at his own action. As he pulled his arm back, the liquid streamed out of the man’s neck as he collapsed on the ground utterly still.</p>
<p>Colin glanced at his blood stained hand. It had transformed into... some sort of point? Almost like an arrow or a... mouse cursor... no...</p>
<p>Immediately as he felt that apprehension, it transformed back into his gloved hand by twisting around and shooting inside of his wrist, allowing the normal form to shoot back out. Strange. Well... he STILL didn’t have any identification. A glimmer shone in the corner of his eye and he saw a small card that fell out of the man’s pocket in the struggle.</p>
<p>Colin picked it up and his vision turned red. There was a white line moving horizontally across the card, then as soon as it started, it stopped. Colin felt something hard fall out of his mouth and a new card with his OWN information landed on the floor. How terribly convenient!</p>
<p>Colin slipped the card into his shorts pocket and hummed to himself as he strutted out the door. As he turned the corner he bumped into someone. A tall... thin... scary man.</p>
<p>"Oh, sorry I-" He immediately shut up at the sight of his face. Colin stared at this man’s creepy, sunken eyes and glanced at his thinning blue hair and worn brown overalls. He looked so terribly dirty too and he kept breathing heavily as he looked down at him. Nothing else. Just breathing.</p>
<p>“Oh, erm... sorry sir, I’ll just... be on my way... ahaha!”</p>
<p>He had never laughed like that before. It felt unnatural.</p>
<p>Colin walked down the hall and went into town.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Colin the Computer Chapter 6: Intrudawindow</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>get it cuz its a combination of intruder and in through the window</p>
<p>i can't take credit for it though, a friend recommended it</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Colin swayed his arms back and forth as he excitedly walked through the dirty streets of this strange town. Everything was so... musty! The streets were cobbled and cracked; the apartments were tall and mushed together; the sky was in a constant state of grey. Colin felt a bizarre dissonance in his brain. On the one hand, he greatly enjoyed the odd sensory stimulation this place was giving him, with so many new sounds and smells and feelings. On the other hand, however, it was terribly drab, and he much preferred his own colorful appearance to this sort of place. The warmth and novelty of the grey had worn off after almost half an hour of traipsing about the place. </p>
<p>He pondered these new emotions for what felt like hours, and, in fact, it was! Time seemed to pass so fast for Colin when he was lost in his thoughts. And what thoughts they were indeed. He just couldn't seem to keep a grasp on these strange "feelings" he had inside his skull. It was as if there was a mysterious parasite worming its way through his body, snipping at the things connecting his brain. Of course, he'd always felt like this, he'd always had the snipping parasite, the indiscernible thought process, the fuzzy and yet perfectly clear memory. He just never had been faced with it before, with situations were he needed to put pressure on it. He glanced at the sun lowering behind the horizon line of the buildings and a thought suddenly popped in his head.</p>
<p>“I still don’t have a home, do I?" His voice sounded exhausted, and he quickly rectified that with a much more upbeat tone. "Well that will NEVER do!” Colin whipped his head all the way around in a circle for some sort of place he could enter. Approximately 67 degrees to the left, he spotted an apartment with a wide open window near the top, delicious orange light shimmering out of it.</p>
<p>“Oh, perfect! But how am I to get there?” he wondered out loud to himself. He’d begun to miss talking, and he did love the sound of his own voice. “Hmm, perhaps I could use that funny strength of mine. It worked so well on the boat...”</p>
<p>Colin shuffled across the street and faced parallel to the brick wall. Raising his left foot, he thrust it into the hard rock, and embedded it firmly. Then again with his right foot. Again and again and again, he walked up the wall as if it was another floor, and his shoulder length hair and loose clothing trailed behind his casual stroll. It was natural as ever.</p>
<p>As he neared the sanctuary of color, he heard the distant voices of the residents. He... hadn’t considered that there’d be people still living there. After all, he did not have that great a database to draw from. No matter, he could drive them out easily, he thought as his hand transformed back into the arrow. He’d gotten quite good at that now, hadn’t he? It came on command this time, and it didn't give him that sense of apprehension anymore. </p>
<p>Colin latched his hand to the outer rim of the window and hoisted himself up. He balanced himself perfectly on the sill and finally got a good glance at his new victims.</p>
<p>There was a little boy and an adult girl. Quite easy to pick off, he assumed based on past experience, although he’d never had to kill two people at once. He did always feel a little funny when he murdered though, so he thought it best to retreat inside his mind for this. Like he had before. </p>
<p>“Wh- what are you doing? Why are you in my window!?” </p>
<p>His eyes narrowed and the red glowed like a harsh warning siren.</p>
<p>“Mom, what’s going on here?”</p>
<p>“Sir- are you listening to me?! Get out! I SAID GET OUT!”</p>
<p>“H- hey, what do you think you’re-“</p>
<p>His body really was heavy, it kept breaking the wooden floorboards. It was very loud too. All of it. But he wouldn't hear it, just like last time. There wasn't much resistance, just like last time. </p>
<p>The air fell still and frigid.</p>
<p>The lights had been knocked out in the frenzy. What a shame, he’d like that color so much too.</p>
<p>Colin cracked his neck and shut the window behind him. Now he had a nice, quiet new place to live. Who knows how long this will last? That is the most exciting part though.</p>
<p>Colin curled up on the wet, bloodstained floor and closed his eyes, happy to start a new day tomorrow.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Colin the Computer Chapter 7: A Pleasant Interlude</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>i'm gonna drink some depresso espresso for this</p>
<p>the psychological inner workings are much more prominent in this edit. probably cuz i somewhat know what i'm doing now. ish. we'll see</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>He didn’t do much for those months afterwards. Those long, tiring months of nothing. Of merely existing. He thought he had what he wanted, but it was a lie. This new place brought nothing new to him. Only, emptiness.</p>
<p>When he woke up each morning he would stride around the apartment, trying to think of nothing. It didn’t work very well. He knew he had the ability to “turn off” his thoughts, but he seemed to only control it well during high energy moments. He would think of things that scared him, which is surprising for someone who shouldn’t be able to feel fear. All things considered, with the ridiculous methods and amateur process his creator had gone through to make him, it is truly fascinating that all the worst parts were finished first. Were they easier? Was it random chance? Did it mean... anything at all?</p>
<p>When pacing would fail to muffle his brain, he would fall to the ground and stare at the ceiling. It didn't offer anything to him. It didn't care. He didn't care. And yet he did. It was paradoxical, as many things about him were. He wished for the ability to feel empty and he wished for the ability to feel everything. Everything that everyone else seemed to have no troubles with, and empty so he wouldn't even have to bother in the first place. His skin pulsated as the electricity underneath it wavered through his whole being. It would be so much easier if... But his brain wouldn't finish. He was stupid. He was so stupid. He didn't know anything, and everything that came out of his mouth was... he didn't even know. There was nothing he could be sure of. His memory fizzled frantically, and he thought of how much of his thoughts were gone forever, how much had been taken from him without even realizing it. Was it his fault? Was it hers? Why did he believe what he came to believe, why did he know the things he did, and, more importantly, why did he not know the things he probably should. Colin wondered whether he was even real. The truthfully ridiculous thought that he was a robot should have made him laugh out loud. It was so funny he could laugh until he cried. Of course he wasn’t one! The evidence suggested that...</p>
<p>Of course, it did not.</p>
<p>He was scared. He wanted to be a real person. He wanted to mean something. Anything. He wanted to feel how everyone else felt. He craved natural emotions and sensations. He CRAVED that nebulous feeling of being alive, of having a heart that beat and blood that pumped and a brain that sparked and a complete body. </p>
<p>But of course, he needn’t desire that. After all, he wasn’t a robot.</p>
<p>A few weeks after he situated himself, police started coming in every few days or so. They would ask him where the residents were. He would not tell them.</p>
<p>Colin learned that a terribly efficient way of getting rid of someone was to cut off their head. He’d been used to his method of stabbing in the throat but he was not as accurate or consistent. And thus they might live longer. Decapitation got rid of his interrogators quickly. No one tried to stop him. Because they could not. </p>
<p>Colin acquired an axe one day. He was running out of places to hide the bodies though. He began to leave them out in the open. He deserved to live in the filth anyway, he began to think. The whole building probably stunk now. He might be the only one living there, in a pile of corpses and blood and bones. Living. Ha. What a hilarious word. It was so funny. </p>
<p>Life moved on but he stayed stagnant. For 3 months, he would remain in a loop of nothingness. He wanted more, but it wasn’t coming. He began to develop a new emotion besides fear and emptiness.</p>
<p>Regret.</p>
<p>Why has he done all of this? Why had he killed all these people? He didn’t deserve to live more than them after all... if he really was a lie of an organism. It had felt special and new before, why had he come to detest that first taste of difference he'd ever had? The circuits weren't connecting, they had been severed and he wanted nothing more than to tie them together and understand this disgusting, writhing, burning, vomitous feeling in his chest, in his skull, in his lungs. What was the FUCKING POINT?!? What as the point of these feelings that just got in the way of him becoming better or worse?? They didn't help him, they didn't stop him, they just cluttered up his already muffled and warped brain and made him want to scream in anguish! It was all so loud, and it was getting louder every day! If there was a purpose to this then why was it here at all, when there were so many better and more vital things that he should've had but didn't! Memory, completed A.I., a finished body, morals! All things he would never know unless he was directly confronted with them; whose idea was this?! Why had he even come here? Why had he killed that nice old lady or that worker or those residents or the law enforcement? Why was there nothing, internal or external to stop him? Nothing added up, and that's all he knew! Why did he leave his tube at all? WHY WAS HE MADE IN THE FIRST PLACE?! Perhaps- </p>
<p>Perhaps.... things would have been better if he never left... </p>
<p>Perhaps... things would have been better if... </p>
<p>he’d never been built at all...</p>
<p>Life continued on.</p>
<p>Everything was the same as before. </p>
<p>Until one day...</p>
<p>something changed.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. Colin the Computer Chapter 8: A Commission to be Really Mean</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>ayy we're finally getting somewhere. </p>
<p>i say finally but i think Colin has the shortest chapters at some points, so this was quicker than the others while still kinda taking longer. </p>
<p>but it works. he's got a very jolty brain so it makes sense that his chapters would be a bit shorter and more sporadic</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Colin shot up at the throbbing noise of persistent banging on his door. It sounded like a hammer being hurtled against the wood and he had to cover his ears. His artificial heart pounded and ink rushed throughout his body as he tiptoed to the entryway. He had his axe propped up in the umbrella stand for cases like this and carefully grabbed its handle. The banging was growing ever louder, and he knew they were out for him specifically.</p>
<p>He threw the door open and lunged his axe forward, assuming that the enemy would go down like a felled tree. Instead, he felt a foot fly into his stomach which sent him reeling and crashing into the floor. He looked up to find his hands empty and the axe in the visitor’s possession. It must have flown out of his hands from the impact. The intruder threw the axe into the hall behind them and steadied themself for more conflict.</p>
<p>Colin turned on his mouse cursor and flew towards the enemy but was halted almost immediately. The strange man, as he now saw, grabbed him by the arm, raised him in the air, and threw him back on the floor like a toy, somehow managing to crack the floorboards! It felt like a child smashing a plate in anger. Colin winced and tried to stand back up again, but the man just kicked him back down every time he made progress, forcing the breaks in the wood to spiderweb out farther and farther. The kicks were far too strong for any normal person; there's no way some human was stronger than him! And it hurt like hell too! The man finally let up and stood over the boy menacingly. </p>
<p>Colin got a good look at the attacker’s face. It... it was the same man he bumped into all those months ago! The one with the blue hair and scary eyes! Why had HE managed to stick in his memory? This was no doubt the same person. As he struggled to pull himself together, all he seemed to be able to do was say, “How did you know about the axe..?”</p>
<p>The man chuckled a dry, hollow laugh. His voice was full of emptiness but his eyes showed a dulled malice hidden behind that veil. He lifted Colin off the floor and groaned out, “I’ve been watching you for a long time. Come, let’s talk.” </p>
<p>He gestured towards the living room and the two settled down.</p>
<p>............</p>
<p>“I’m sure you have a lot of questions Colin, but before we begin anything, I’ll answer a few things. My name is Roy, and I am here because I have a job proposition for you.”</p>
<p>Colin shifted uncomfortably in his seat. Job? That was... not exactly what he was expecting. “Why me though? What sort of job would want someone like... me?”</p>
<p>“How astute of you.” Roy popped his knuckles one after the other. “You see, I have a very specialized job in mind. Only certain objects will do well for it. Certain objects like you, Colin.” His mouth spread into a strained, cracked grin.</p>
<p>This man thought he was an object. No, not thought, knew. This man knew what everyone else was denying to be the case. And not only that, he was a SPECIAL object. He didn't know what that meant but Colin was suddenly much more eager to hear out this stranger who broke into his home and assaulted him.</p>
<p>“You see, I have these three boys of mine," Roy began to explain. Colin had a feeling this was important, so he listened closely, trying desperately to keep it in the good part of his memory. "They used to be so good, but the seem to have all rotted up by now. They've become... dissident to how I've expected of them. They don't give a care for me or my notions anymore and I have to punish them for this. In very certain ways. In the only ways I know will stick with them. And your job is to help me.”</p>
<p>“I don’t see how I can help with that, sir. I’m not very good with punishment, just killing.” Even though it was true, Colin was surprised with how naturally it came out of his mouth.</p>
<p>“Oh no, you see, that’s where I come in.” He crossed his legs and folded his hands under his chin. “I will tell you exactly what to do, and how to do it. I am the scriptwriter. The director. And you are the actor. The teacher.”</p>
<p>“Teacher?” Colin tilted his head to the side.</p>
<p>“Don’t worry about that. I just need you to say yes.”</p>
<p>Colin hesitated. This was something new. Something exciting. But... remember what all the other new exciting things had done to him. Even if he couldn't remember some of it well, it all came to a crystal clear understanding of what it led him to. Something was telling him this was dangerous as well. And could potentially cause heartache. </p>
<p>“If I got someone hurt during this,” he ventured, “would I get in trouble?” The emotional trouble went unsaid, although something told him that Roy would not understand that, even if it was verbal.</p>
<p>“Oh, of course not.”</p>
<p>The walls seemed to grow a little smaller.</p>
<p>...</p>
<p>“It’s a deal.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. Colin the Computer Chapter 9: Preparations</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>how bad can the quality of my writing get i wonder. i wonder. </p>
<p>i've been reading too much higurashi</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Colin paced back and forth across the grass, ruminating on what would soon happen. He knew he had to do this, he knew he shouldn’t have any qualms about it, he KNEW that this was good for him. Roy had said so himself. </p>
<p>To be honest, he felt a little sick to his non-existent stomach.</p>
<p>........................</p>
<p>The day after the deal was made, Roy took him to his OWN apartment. The drive there was long and boring, inside a hot, stuffy car with no music or anything to look at besides whatever was on the other side of the window. His living space was about the same quality as his car. It was small, dinky, and rotten, with literal mold growing in some spots. He didn’t know how a family of four could possibly live there until Roy led him into a side room.</p>
<p>There was a large machine in there. It was strangely quiet, for how complex it looked, with gadgets and bobbles and wires and tubes hanging out of every end. Colin felt a sudden impulse to press every single button on it and had to be held back by Roy before he even realized he was walking towards it.</p>
<p>Roy said that the machine held another place inside of it. Colin didn’t quite understand what that meant but when Roy pressed a certain button, he found himself in an entirely different area. There was no small, dirty apartment room. Now they were in the middle of a street with a two rows of houses on either side of it. At the ends of the street was nothing but a big forest in it that seemed to go on forever. It was beautiful, like nothing he'd ever seen before, but there was something off about it all.</p>
<p>It looked vaguely fake. Not in the sense that the stuff in here didn’t look like it existed, more so that it looked like it was made of material that it shouldn’t be made of. It was all too perfect, too shiny and colorful and brilliant. The textures of things felt too... inoffensive? When Colin touched things in this beautiful world, it was as if he was touching them within a dream. </p>
<p>Oh well.</p>
<p>Roy pointed to the house at the end of the left side of the road.</p>
<p>“This is where you’ll do your job. My children are out playing in the woods right now. We’ll have plenty of time to plan.”</p>
<p>......... </p>
<p>Inside the house, Roy went into great detail about what to do and how to do it. Exactly what to say, when, how to say it. Or sing it, to Colin’s surprise.</p>
<p>All he had to do was sing a little song! How cute! Well... there was a little more than THAT. He had to add to his performance. Roy said that since he was a corrupt object, he’d be able to “manipulate this false world better than a human or normal object.” Interesting! </p>
<p>Of course, Colin had heard about object corruption before, but he didn't quite know what it entailed. But if that's what Roy said he was, then that's what he was. There was nothing in him that could argue against it. There was no proof that what Roy was saying was true, but he didn't have any reason to disbelieve it. </p>
<p>Colin had tried it out a little later, after all was said and planned. He was shocked to find that he could cause walls to warp and colors to shift without even really trying! Everything in the world seemed to keel over at his command! Colin went inside one of the empty houses and tore it asunder. The walls crumbled from the inside, there were screams coming from nowhere, the colors had fallen to nothingness. Nothing was left in it except dust and static. Then all he had to do was just THINK, and everything went back to normal.</p>
<p>He smiled. Then he giggled. Then he burst out laughing. OH, How EXCITING! HOW INVIGORATING!! How much CONTROL- how much POWER!</p>
<p>H... how much...</p>
<p>He was awfully excited for this.</p>
<p>A few months ago, he wouldn’t have batted an eye at the thought of getting to destroy things and make people go crazy. It would’ve seemed interesting, fun even. He wouldn’t have been surprised at his ecstasy. After all, this control and power, it was rightful that he have it, just as he had the right to control death. Everyone did. This was just like that right? So why didn't he feel the same anymore. </p>
<p>Everything had lined up in the exact same way, had it not?</p>
<p>He was scared. He had a feeling that he’d been doing everything in his life wrong and he’d be unable to stop.</p>
<p>There was no time to dwell on that now. There would never be time. </p>
<p>If he could destroy and warp in this world, could he create as well?</p>
<p>He conjured an axe into his hand. Perfect.</p>
<p>.........  </p>
<p>Colin stared across the street from his hidden spot among the trees, anxiously waiting to see his new victims. He’d been able to memorize everything Roy wanted the first time he said it. He’d always had a perfect memory of it all... He wished he didn’t know why...</p>
<p>Three figures emerged into his line of sight and he perked up. There was a tall one, with long dark red hair, a shorter one with dark green hair, and a tiny one with short dark blue hair. The red one led the two smaller ones towards the house.</p>
<p>The red one stopped after running into Roy.</p>
<p>He heard indistinct yelling and saw the red one shove Roy out of the way, pulling the green one into the house. The blue one stayed back and hugged Roy, whispering into his ear before running to follow the others.</p>
<p>Colin tilted his head in confusion. He’d never really met any other family besides that first old lady. He wondered if they were all like that...</p>
<p>He gripped the handle of the axe tighter, before letting it dissipate into nonexistence.</p>
<p>Time to start the show.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0011"><h2>11. Colin the Computer Chapter 10: DHMIS 4</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>eugh, it was hard enough writing this chapter the first time. its so hard to put the songs into descriptions while making it interesting and also looking into the character's thoughts. its a tough balance and these are some of my least favorite chapters to write. but the ones after them are always my favorite to write, so that makes up for it.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“I’m a computer! I’m a computery guy! Everything made out of buttons and wires! I’d like to show ya! Inside my digital life! Inside my mind there is a digital mind.”</p>
<p>Colin’s head peeled open and he felt a cold sensation on his... brain.</p>
<p>The three kids were staring awkwardly at him, but they didn’t seem too traumatized. They weren’t really responding either. He liked that they were not unsettled by this.</p>
<p>Thud thud thud</p>
<p>Colin started to shake- maybe Roy didn’t plan this out too well after a-</p>
<p>“Oh. Maybe you could help us answer this question. ‘What is the biggest thing in the w-“</p>
<p>“CLEVER-“</p>
<p>Oh, that was a close one. But he stayed on script! This would continue without a hitch. He’d make sure of it.</p>
<p>“I’m very clevery guy! Count to a fifty in the blink of my eye! ........”</p>
<p>The lyrics started to wash over him like a stream of water. As the song continued, the motions and warps came like clockwork to him. The children’s reactions were starting to fall into place too! The little green haired one and the blue haired one seemed in awe of him; he was practically basking in their fascination!</p>
<p>Was this what it was like to be praised?</p>
<p>The red one wasn’t as enthusiastic though... He seemed bored at best and concerned at worst—Colin was never good with facial expressions—but he CERTAINLY wasn’t happy about him.</p>
<p>Thud thud</p>
<p>“What’s your name? Where do you live? What do you like to e- eat?”</p>
<p>Rattle off the questions!</p>
<p>rattle rattle rattle</p>
<p>Follow along children! Listen to your teacher!</p>
<p>thud thud rattle</p>
<p>“Wait a minute...”</p>
<p>Keep going.</p>
<p>“Stop talking...”</p>
<p>Keep Going.</p>
<p>“Be quiet.”</p>
<p>Something’s headed toward your face- TURN AROUND</p>
<p>“SHUT UP!!”</p>
<p>“DON’T TOUCH MEEEEEE E E E E E E E E!!!!!!!!!”</p>
<p>...........</p>
<p>It was fine, Colin had it ALL under control. Sure, this part was planned for a little later in the song. But it was fine! It was fine.</p>
<p>It was so terribly colorful here, he just HAD to love it! Honestly, it didn’t matter how much it hurt to get there, what mattered was that now they were there! This digital world, it was such a great idea that Roy had come up with. It fit perfectly, like a glove.</p>
<p>“Wow! We’re all computery!”</p>
<p>“Oh yeah. Wow- Wow- wow- this is a computer.”</p>
<p>That’s what you get for trying to punch me in the face. Brat.</p>
<p>Thud thud</p>
<p>“In the digital world, there’s only three things to do!”</p>
<p>Look at the information child! Isn’t amazing what computers can achieve? Look at that style, I bet you feel fancy now! Dance! Dance! Dance! It’s all for entertainment! Look how wonderful it is here! Look how amazing it is to be a real computer! BE HAPPY LIKE ME!! EMBRACE THE JOYOUS CREATION!!!</p>
<p>They believed him! Right? Yes, yes they did. It was the truth, everything that came out of his mouth was the truth. It spilled out of his mouth completely naturally, like he was on autopilot.</p>
<p>Thud thud thud thud thud thud</p>
<p>Of course, if he was paying attention, he’d know that was a lie. Everything had been a lie. This wasn't real. None of it had been real, ever. Not this, not the words, not him.</p>
<p>Thud thud thud</p>
<p>He knew this wasn’t entertainment. It wasn’t even really a computer. It was just a twisted game from a demented father. Why had he pretended otherwise? He could've resisted. He never resisted. He didn't resist back then. He didn't resist now. He went along with what other people said, because he could not make the connections himself. Why could he not. </p>
<p>Thud thud</p>
<p>He knew why. If he just acknowledged why he was like this, then the connections could finally be made, and everything would be how it should be. It was a trade off. He could live in serene denial, and not know anything. Or he could learn everything and live in regret. He had no reason to pretend he was not a robot. Or that he was happy. This didn't make him happy. Maybe it used to, but he wasn't a robot back then, he was just an object. He didn't know, so it made him happy. He did know now. Nothing was the same. As he finally accepted what he really was, as the song played out before his eyes, as he watched his body move without command once again, everything inside him changed. He had no reason to do any of this at all. It didn't matter anymore. He couldn't hear what was going on outside.</p>
<p>Thud thud thud thud</p>
<p>Why’d he do this? Why’d he do anything? He could see the children weren’t happy.</p>
<p>Or was that just a lie too?</p>
<p>It won’t stop looping.</p>
<p>It won’t stop looping.</p>
<p>Would he never have a way out?</p>
<p>It won’t stop looping.</p>
<p>Was his life going to be travesty after travesty? Failure after failure? Could he ever stop being a monster? Even with his new brain?</p>
<p>Thud</p>
<p>Did he want to stop? Surely he... wait... </p>
<p>Thud thud</p>
<p>Where’d the red one go?</p>
<p>Thud Thud Thud</p>
<p>He left...</p>
<p>HE LEFT!!</p>
<p>DON’T LEAVE, HE DIDN’T TELL ME WHAT TO DO FOR THIS!!!</p>
<p>THUD THUD THUD</p>
<p>Colin unhooked himself from the digital world, popping back into consciousness. He spotted the younger two’s bodies draped across the table and eyes staring blankly into nothing. The song was still playing dully in the background. The eldest was inching towards the exit. What was he doing?! Roy didn’t tell him what to do if one of them tried to fight back! He had to stop him! Something bad could happen-</p>
<p>(To who?)</p>
<p>He had no time to reminisce about poor life choices. He had no time to contemplate his existence. He had to stop him now, even if he wasn't sure what stopping him meant. Something bad could happen-</p>
<p>.....</p>
<p>Red’s hands shook as he closed them over the doorknob. He couldn’t stand by this- not anymore. He was getting out of here. Now.</p>
<p>.....</p>
<p>It didn't take much at all for him to lose control of his body, but maybe this was okay! He didn't know what choice to make, so it was best to just let his body do it for him. It always did what was best for him before.</p>
<p>Colin materialized the axe again.</p>
<p>The red one shoved the door open and stepped through.</p>
<p>thud thud thud</p>
<p>This was how it was supposed to be. How it will always be.</p>
<p>A swipe through the air- a crunch through the spine- a slice through the neck-</p>
<p>Colin’s face morphed from one of unabashed glee to blank terror as he watched the teen’s head topple to the floor and blood drain into the cracks between the tiles. The head rolled over slightly, exposing the dead eyes and visage of terror etched on forever.</p>
<p>He shouldn’t have been this shocked by it. He’d done this dozens of times before in the exact same way; he’d snuffed out life younger than THIS. Why did THIS murder shock him into reality? Why did this make him realize that he’d been a monster?</p>
<p>Because he had acknowledged the truth. Now he understood everything from the normal point of view. It was the truth, everything that came out of his mouth was the truth. It spilled out of his mouth completely naturally, like he was on autopilot.</p>
<p>“Oh my god... What have I done..?”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0012"><h2>12. Colin the Computer Finale: You Have Done Your Job Well</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>yeah this is where shit hits the fan for the fic as a whole and not just for colin</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Colin threw himself against the wall in a panic, his artificial heart pounding out of his chest. He grabbed at his head and shook back and forth without reason. He needed to get out of here, now! As he whipped around to hurry out the door, he slipped on the blood and face planted directly on the wet, sticky floor. He would have vomited if he had a stomach. The stench, how had he lived with it for so long before?!</p>
<p>He trembled and pleaded for himself to get up but his body wasn’t listening. For the first time in his life, instead of his body moving without action from his brain, it was the other way around. He clenched his fist and felt that strange liquid fall out from his eyes. After three years of being in existence, he still didn’t understand that aspect of himself. He looked at his gloved hand. There was a thick layer of the red child’s blood soaking the palm of it. It seeped into his clothes and his hair and stained his pure white face, splattered against the glass on his glasses and his screen.</p>
<p>Colin glued his eyes shut and begged for it to all be over.</p>
<p>..........</p>
<p>In the world of unconsciousness, what better to make of your time than to go over all the mistakes you made?</p>
<p>All this time, Colin realized, he’d been murdering people. That was a complete and undeniable fact. Either just because they got in his way, or he felt the impulse. You could argue he didn’t know any better. Truthfully, he didn’t, at the beginning. He was abandoned and unfinished, with no morality built in to him and no morality taught to him. He seemed almost incapable of understanding what was wrong.</p>
<p>At least, that would’ve been his excuse if he didn’t start regretting it.</p>
<p>Why did he? By all means, he should NOT have been capable of further development. He should’ve gone through the rest of his life without being able to learn anything new about what he already knew. Why did he regret? Was this some cruel trick by the world? Just take some robotic child, make them kill people, and then make them realize they were a monster! Simple... perfect... </p>
<p>He wished he could go back to before he felt regret. Colin wished he was ignorant about morality. If he was, maybe he wouldn’t be so conflicted. On one hand, he had the intense impulses, those desires to destroy brought on by unfinished programming and hate towards his own existence. On the other, that very same hatred of being a robot and desire to be alive led to that morality development.</p>
<p>Maybe, he thought once again, he would have been better off never being made.</p>
<p>That murder of the red haired kid, and the conclusion he finally believed during the song made something click. All the conflicts finally made sense. He could see inside himself now, the parasite that snipped the wires was gone. His memory would not stumble like it used to, and everything was clear as day, the fog having been removed. What he saw hiding under that fog was disgusting. What he saw inside himself was disgusting. And not just because he was made of wires and metal and processors.</p>
<p>He wished his creator never left.</p>
<p>Someone was calling his name...</p>
<p>...........</p>
<p>Colin jolted awake to find himself lying on a couch in Roy’s living room. The man himself was sitting across the room on a chair, sipping tea and reading the newspaper as casual as one could be.</p>
<p>Colin clenched his teeth and sputtered out, “I’m sorry! I- I’m so so sorry!”</p>
<p>Roy glanced over the edge of the paper with what one might claim was a confused look. “What for?”</p>
<p>“I’m sorry I murdered your son! What else for?!”</p>
<p>“Hmm.” Roy folded the newspaper. “I specifically hired you because I thought you wouldn’t apologize for something like that.” The tone in his voice indicated that this was a scenario not worth fretting about, as if Colin was apologizing for spilling a drink.</p>
<p>His voice caught in his throat. Now that he seemed to fully unlock his morality (almost like an achievement in a video game, funnily enough) he was startled by how horrible Roy actually was. Did he WANT his kids dead?</p>
<p>Roy stood up and walked across the room towards Colin, towering over the little robot. He wasn’t saying anything, just glaring and... breathing heavily. Like always.</p>
<p>“Where is he, if I may ask?” Colin asked inanely. Perhaps his, still a little warped, logic mandated that he apologize to the corpse too.</p>
<p>“I threw him out.”</p>
<p>“...”</p>
<p>Roy pulled Colin to his feet, “But that’s not important right now. Come with me, I have to pay you for your service.”</p>
<p>Roy practically dragged Colin through the winding hallways of the house to a heavy metallic door, and shoved him inside, slamming it shut. Inside the room was almost pure darkness, with just a large light shining on yet another weird looking machine. This one was much larger, with three segments to it and a large, blank screen in the center. The checkered floor was covered with broken and sparking electrical wire. Perhaps this machine was not quite finished yet.</p>
<p>Colin edged cautiously towards the machine, “What is this?”</p>
<p>“It’s something I’ve shown to all the other objects who’ve worked for me.”</p>
<p>“There have been others?”</p>
<p>“Yes. You’re the only one who’s permanently killed someone though. Quite the achievement.” Colin couldn’t read Roy’s voice at all. It was flat and emotionless.</p>
<p>“I don’t intend on paying you though. I haven’t paid any of them.”</p>
<p>He felt a chill down his spine as Roy circled around the perimeter of the room. If given the opportunity, he was sprinting the hell out of there. He tried to walk parallel to Roy, keeping a decent distance as he stepped deeper inside the room.</p>
<p>“You’ve done your service well. But there’s another thing I need done. Thankfully, you have no say in the matter. And you won’t ever again.”</p>
<p>Roy flicked a switch on the wall. “Goodbye.”</p>
<p>Colin felt a surge of electricity shoot through his body and beat on his skull. The wires on the floor nearly quadrupled their output and sent energy coursing through and piercing his entire body! He let out a desperate and ear-piercing SHRIEK as he writhed in pain. The overload was damaging his body and cracking his skin; his face started to split open and his glasses shattered. Cracks spiderwebbed across his pure black, inky skin and the blood-ink inside of him was starting to steam up and boil. His body was totally uncontrollable in the way it spasmed and twisted and curled in on itself. Colin fell to the floor as the electricity continued to surge through him and crush all senses in his body. It felt like a string of thorns or barbed wire being pulled through ever part of his being and his head felt like it was being crushed by a hydraulic press.</p>
<p>Then it was over.</p>
<p>Roy flicked the switch off and stood over Colin’s smoking, smoldering body. He let the smallest of smiles crack on his face as he waited for the life to drain out of Colin’s red, wavering eyes.</p>
<p>Colin couldn’t think of anything. His brain was too fried to think of anything. The circuits had been totally wrecked. </p>
<p>Actually, he did have one last spark of thought before shutting down.</p>
<p>‘At least I got what I deserved...’</p>
<p>Colin’s eyes stopped glowing, and his body fell still and quiet.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0013"><h2>13. Larry the Lamp Chapter 1: This Is What We Have to Deal With</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>sorry i was gonna post the next set of chapters last weekend but i was too fatigued. but i'm better now so we're back on track. </p>
<p>anywhomst, we got some lampy chapters now! i'm not gonna lie, when i first wrote these, i had no idea what i wanted to do so the quality was kinda meh. so i'm really gonna have to work on these to make em decent. </p>
<p>lets goooooooooooooooooo ugh</p>
<p>also yeah this isn't really accurate to alcohol works in reality but ehhhhh he's not human it works different</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Larry the Lamp was an odd fellow. No one in town knew that much about him besides what was blatantly obvious. He was a lamp object, with a mediocre fashion sense and gross, stringy, glowing hair that he didn't take proper care of. His clothes consisted of gray shorts, an oversized dark blue hoodie that functioned more like a dress, and gloves. His hair was tied in a loose ponytail and he had plenty of stray strands, and of course he wore his lampshade hat. He had shoes at some point, but they seemed to go missing. Some thought he might look nice if he just tried. He was corrupted, you could always tell from the name. It was human, not a traditional object name like Lamp or Lampy. Although, no one seemed to know how he became that way or what horrid thing he could have done to activate the change. He didn't ever seem to do much, he rarely ever hurt anyone, not more than anyone else in the town did. He mostly kept to himself, but he'd talk happily if you talked first. Still, even if he was harmless, it was best to stay away from corrupted objects on principle. You never know what sort of things they may be hiding.</p>
<p>There was another strange factor to him: he was almost always drunk. Whether it be just a little tipsy or on the verge of blacking out, it was a consistent fact of life. There wasn’t a single day that passed by where the residents didn’t see him stumbling about, seemingly without a care in the world. He never seemed to be actually knocked unconscious from it, but he was a rather sleepy man, so most people didn't seem to know that fact. It didn’t bother them much, the alcoholism; a few even found him funny or endearing in a strange sense. After all, he wasn’t hurting anyone. Not even himself.</p>
<p>Corrupted objects are immortal in the sense that you have to actually stab them or something for them to die. Longevity, in a sense. And they're far more durable too. He had no such qualms about downing litres of alcohol every day, seeing as it did nothing to his body besides the obvious. The other townspeople speculated that he simply did it because it was fun. </p>
<p>No one knew where Larry lived, and at times, it seemed he didn’t know either. Barely anyone remembered when he first arrived to the town, although a select few can think back to that fateful day 15 years ago. He strangely didn't look any older than 25 by the time the unfortunate events began, although it was always hard to tell with objects, immortal or not. Even normal ones always had a certain youth to them that lasted longer than humans. </p>
<p>A final strange feature of his appearance was his left eye. It seemed nearly intact and normal, except for the fact that the pupil was almost melted, for lack of a better term. Black goo was always leaking out of where the pupil would be, and his eye was often half shut, allowing it to stream down his cheek like tears. No one payed much mind to it, though it did throw off some who didn’t see him often.</p>
<p>Nonetheless, he was alone, and he kept it that way. I indeed must wonder why. </p>
<p>...............</p>
<p>The new human moved into town a week ago. They were unassuming in appearance, voice, thoughts, existence. They knew very little about the residents but were amicable, and could make friends quickly. It didn't take long for them to go out and about, exploring their new environment. Of course, one fateful night, they encountered Larry the Lamp at the bar.</p>
<p>They walked in anxiously and looked around for any friends they’d already made, but none were to be found. Unfortunately, they spotted Larry face down on a table with black liquid pouring out of his face. A person less acquainted with him would think he'd been hit on the head and was bleeding out, so they came to that worrying conclusion and approached. This would be a decision they would come to regret. As they drew closer, he sat up and looked at them with a dazed look. </p>
<p>“Erm, excuse me sir, are you alright?” There was a waver to their voice when they realized it was pupil, not ink. Which is a very strange sentence. </p>
<p>“Yyyyeah ai’m perfegtly fine!”</p>
<p>Well alright then. “You don’t seem it.”</p>
<p>“Ah whaddyou know bout me huh?" He jokingly waved his pointer finger at them with a weird smirk. "I can take annnnything! I can jump off a building an' be great! Wanna see?” </p>
<p>The human halfheartedly giggled, this object was so weird. It was kinda funny. They sat down and continued the conversation. </p>
<p>“What’s your name?”</p>
<p>“Larry- Larry the Lamp. Nice to meetya acquaintanze-“</p>
<p>They awkwardly shoved their hands together in a gross approximation of a handshake. </p>
<p>The human was strangely drawn to this fellow. Something about him seemed so open and casual. Obviously being drunk helped but they could tell there was something else there. Perhaps they should have heeded the fact that he was corrupted, but hey, he seemed just fine. A new friend, just like all the others. Hehehe. </p>
<p>The conversation spiraled out from there. They discussed many things, and Larry's vocabulary made him seem overly passionate about everything, despite the sleepy manner in which he delivered it. It leaned into the topic of current movies, of which Larry said his favorite was “the one in space where they blow up the thing.” Very detailed indeed. Maybe he was just lying about having seen it, but they did not care. The human was almost passive in the conversation, mostly egging him on and providing more things for him to aimlessly babble about. They liked watching him tumble into madness and wildly rave about things he probably didn't even really care about. They kept pushing him into monologues for their own enjoyment, and he didn't seem to notice. </p>
<p>This brought them much glee. Maybe a little too much. They were playing with this drunken man like a toy. But he was harmless after all.</p>
<p>......</p>
<p>Soon the duo exited the building. Larry had brought along an empty glass bottle, saying he just liked to bring it with him. The human laughed again. What an odd fellow. He really was fun to play with. As Larry absentmindedly spun around, he suddenly seemed to realize something and admitted to the human that he needed help getting home. </p>
<p>“Oh, I can take you home!” Of course. Couldn't have this fun new friend getting hit by a car or getting lost now, could we? </p>
<p>“Ah! Youra lifesaver!!” </p>
<p>“So where is your home?”</p>
<p>“I.... uhhh... don' remember...”</p>
<p>“Well, we can keep walking around until you DO remember.” Ah, what a fun excuse to play a little longer. </p>
<p>The two trailed about the whole town, continuing their 1.5 sided conversation. The taller brick apartments and stores soon gave way to smaller buildings and trees. They rounded about and walked everywhere in the town. The leaves were rotting away. Why? Things should be growing here. The human couldn’t stop laughing at Larry. The air was cold, despite it being nearly the end of spring. June would be coming soon.</p>
<p>The two eventually neared the docks and the human stared out at the ships leaving into the dark abyss of night. The water was near pitch black, and the sky seemed to match the further out one looked. No stars. No moon. No clouds. None of the symbols that appeared on Larry's clothes. Haha. Ahahahahahhahhahaahahahahha. </p>
<p>“Larry, why do you drink so much?” It would be fun if they could get to know him better. Maybe they could earn some trust with this fun new friend. The question almost seemed to spill out of their mouth. </p>
<p>He paused for a rare moment, but his expression didn’t break or change. “Ah- yaknow somedimes ya gatta forget stuff. Alcohol’ll do that to ya.” He chuckled, but it seemed a little strained.</p>
<p>They continued to push like they had before. “What’re you trying to forget?” they said with an eager smile. </p>
<p>He paused again, his face finally shifting away from his constant dim witted smile. His eyes seemed to grow a little sharper, his face was less dazed, his body stiffer. This time, he didn’t respond.</p>
<p>“Well?”</p>
<p>Larry walked closer to the human. He didn't look anything like he had before. He was standing up straight, and one would think he hadn't touched a single bottle in over a year. The human continued. What could this silly man possibly do. </p>
<p>“It wouldn’t have anything to do with your eye, would i-“</p>
<p>*CRASH*</p>
<p>The human dropped onto the ground faster than you could say "what the fuck". Larry flipped the broken bottle around in his hand and murmured, “Don’t ask stupid questions.” </p>
<p>Shards of glass were tangled in the human's hair and scattered across the stone paved road. Larry's hand shivered a bit, but he didn't mind. His shoulders relaxed and his eyes grew heavier. It was such tiresome work, existing. Especially with people like this around. </p>
<p>His voice and face were now devoid of any evidence he’d been to a bar and he stared at the human with a dejected look of malice.</p>
<p>“Damn you. Now look what you’ve done. I’ve got to start all over again. I hope you’re happy,” he muttered as he rolled the body into the darkened water. Was it too late to get back his alcohol induced state? Would he have to sleep first and try again tomorrow? That seemed to be the case. Damn it all. He'd have to consciously go home, with normal thoughts in his head and normal memories. He was at the very least happy that murder came so easily to him. That was the one benefit of his sorry state. </p>
<p>As he trudged back towards home he mumbled to himself over and over, “I hate your stupid corrupt body. I hope you’re happy.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0014"><h2>14. Larry the Lamp Chapter 2: Roy Regrets His Life Choices</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>i was supposed to work at sonic speeds but then i kinda didn't oh well</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Roy paced back and forth through the living room, pondering what his next step should be. He hadn’t exactly planned around the fact that Red would be killed, although Duck's murder had gone according to plan. While it wasn't originally part of the scheme, it wasn’t necessarily a bad thing in his eyes. He just didn’t expect his son to be alone for the rest of it all. It was hard to tell with that child, whether losing his brothers would make Roy's life easier or harder. </p>
<p>He really did regret adopting those two. </p>
<p>The machine wasn’t quite ready to have humans go inside of it, so he couldn’t put Yellow in it just yet. Still, that time would come soon. But he needed something to fill the space between. Corrupt objects were so hard to find nowadays, and ever since he made enemies of both the Love Cult AND the Food Family by causing the disappearance of their best members, he’d have an even harder time finding the next teachers.</p>
<p>He could always try the news.</p>
<p>Roy sighed as he settled onto the couch. Why must the world make it so difficult to reshape his children into exactly what he wanted? He slowly switched between channels to get to the news but he wasn't exactly in a rush. They rarely ever announced disappearances or murders anyways. They didn’t care. No one cared nowadays. Hell, he’d been able “go missing” with his sons for 3 years and no one batted an eye. Honestly, he was just using this as an excuse to postpone more energy-consuming methods of research.</p>
<p>As he passively listened the droning voices of the announcers, something caught his attention. “Young human found dead in the s̵̖̑ḩ̷̨̳̯̤̹̩̠͉̼̝̬̟̜̔̋͜ͅe̸͔̽̿͊̓̊̿͛̊̎͗̑͑̆͛̎̈́̉͘͜ơ̷̹͓͎̞̠͐̌͆͑͗̈̿͌̇̅͌̍́̚͘͜͝ļ̵̡̩̈́͗͐͗̚͜ ̸̭͕͇̤̝̞̺̜̬͎̺͑̋̓͗̿͒͋͐͌͜͝r̴̡͕͔̱̩̺̫͔͎̗̪̹̯̠̗̲̺̥͐͆̓̇̿̒̇̊̿̈́͗͛͋̅͛͒̿͝͝ͅȉ̶̡̤̭̟͍͚͉̲̀͛̓̇̔͛̈́̉̉͆̐̐͝ͅv̷̤̖̠͉͕̥̞̠̟̯̗̺̬̺̖̼̩̭̀̏̓̾̐̕͜e̶̱̹̺̟̯̝͓̥̼̣͊̀̈́̈́̚͝r̴̨̻͇̭̺̻̀̄̈͊͋̈́.”</p>
<p>Odd that they’d report that. Maybe there was a mystery behind it worth telling. To the common people at least. But... this could lead to his next breakthrough. That river flowed out from somewhere 2763 miles away. But it travelled very far. As he watched the story, he gleaned every scrap of information he could from the announcement, his unblinking eyes hazily glued to the screen. The suspected location of the murder wasn’t all too far away. He could likely pop out of his world for a week or two of research, get a new teacher, and get back to wrap up his plan before Yellow got any ideas about running away.</p>
<p>Roy grabbed his things and headed out the door.</p>
<p>........</p>
<p>Well.... this wasn’t exactly what he was expecting.</p>
<p>Roy had been following a trail for days on end, sneaking around, doing research, and documenting. It hadn't taken days just to drive to the town, and he'd invested more hours of his life than he really felt like trying to just locate the damn man. Every time it seemed like Roy would find him, he'd just slip out of his grasp. Like a worm trying to live when it inconvenienced him most. But there was a pattern that he eventually learned to crack and break into hundreds of tiny pieces. And he finally found his guy... splayed out on the floor of a dusty shed with glass lodged in his hat.</p>
<p>Well, it was better than nothing?</p>
<p>“Wake up,” Roy grumbled as he stepped on the object’s gloved hand. He suddenly noticed how long it had been since he'd spoken, though to be fair, there was no one left to speak to. He did not regret such a fact. It was his own doing after all. The young man was not responding so he opted to grab a shard of glass. He crouched next to him and jabbed it into his inky arm. He shot up and whipped his head around, almost getting his greasy blond hair in Roy’s face. The older human grimaced at the unbearable, nearly indescribable stench.</p>
<p>“AAAAAA- AUGH- HAHHaaa- who’s there???" Roy carefully dropped the glass behind his back. Luckily the man was still a little tipsy. "Oh- uh, hi there sir! Whadyou doing here?”</p>
<p>Roy stifled a groan with clenched teeth and glared at him. “I’m here to talk to you about a job opportunity, Larry the Lamp.” To be honest, he was a little disappointed at the name. Surely he could have picked a more interesting human L name than that. </p>
<p>“Heynow how'd you know my name??” the object asked quizzically. </p>
<p>“I know lots of things, Larry. Let’s make this short. Do you want a job?” Roy was absolutely certain he didn’t want to talk to this man any longer than he had to. He was also absolutely certain this man would accept immediately. He may not have much of anything in the way of charisma or appearances, but he knew how people thought more than anything else. </p>
<p>“Ahaha yeah shure! I’da love t’git a job! Whatkinda thing we talking about? Y’know I’m really good at sewin'! Am I gonna get dental?” Larry awkwardly lunged at Roy and hooked onto his arm. It took all he could to not punch him off, but that may actually kill him. So he simply recoiled in disgust. </p>
<p>“Eurgh. We can talk about this at my house. Just... *sigh* just get in the car,” he pointed out the door of the shed.</p>
<p>“Ha, alright sir!”</p>
<p>Roy felt like a part of his soul deflated as he watched Larry tumble into the open window of his car and scramble into the seat. After hiring Pete the Steak and the Food Gang, this felt like a step down. They had been so professional and efficient! If only he hadn't squandered his pool when he had the chance. </p>
<p>Still, Larry had to be corrupted for a reason. And he wouldn’t have been linked to that murder if he wasn’t capable and willing. Perhaps there was something more to this strange little object. Something worth sitting through all this for.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0015"><h2>15. Larry the Lamp Chapter 3: Let's Have a Fun Flashback</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>well well well, this is definitely one of the chapters i have to beef up a LOT. the og was like. ridiculously short and shallow. this must be fixed, cuz its kinda important in explaining how corruption functions and also making larry make any sense. </p>
<p>so yeah</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Larry absentmindedly stared out the window of the speeding car. It was rather dusty in here, and the seats were all torn up. There wasn't any point in wearing the frayed seatbelt either. He’d been riding in it for hours on end and he was quite uncomfortable with this whole situation. After having sobered up unnaturally quickly thanks to his strange, corrupted, body, he had time to think about what he was doing. But could he really be held responsible for the decisions of Drunk Larry? Haha. That man was never the murderer. Ahaha... He’d much rather be back at his home town.</p>
<p>“Excuse me? Mr. Roy sir? How long until we get to your house?”</p>
<p>“A few more hours,” the unsettling older human muttered.</p>
<p>“Mm.”</p>
<p>Larry lay down on the seats, feeling some sort of mystery mold on his ink skin. How DID he get to this point in his life? Sleeping in the back of a strange man’s car on his way to torture a seven-year-old, as the said strange man had explained. What a bizarre set of circumstances for someone like him to end up in...</p>
<p>He knew the answer of course, he just didn’t like to think about it. That’s why he drank after all. Without the ability to, he quite literally could not stop thinking about it. Never stop thinking about it. </p>
<p>....</p>
<p>"What, don't you believe me?" </p>
<p>"Well why would I?" Lampy retorted. "It just sounds like a REALLY shitty lie." What kind of idiot would just stab themself cuz their friend told them to? He'd heard his friend try to pull a lot of stupid pranks on him before, but this was just unbelievable in every sense of the word.</p>
<p>"No no, come on! I have a real good reason to this time, you gotta trust me!" the teenage boy giggled. "I researched it really well!"</p>
<p>Lampy raised an eyebrow in complete disbelief. Research? What kinda nonsense was he saying now? "Oh did you now? What scientific backing do you have for me stabbing myself in the eye?"</p>
<p>"Okay okay but this is actually really cool. This is something only you can do, cuz you're an object. You ever heard of corruption?"</p>
<p>Lampy flinched slightly. "Y- yeah I've HEARD about it. The word at least. I dunno what it means though... Is that really what you're trying to do to me?"</p>
<p>"Well yeah! It'd be cool to have a friend that can live forever and be mutated and maybe have powers or some shit. I mean, think about all the stuff you could get away with hahaha!"</p>
<p>"But I don't know how to get corrupted. And what if I don't want to?"</p>
<p>"Why WOULDN'T you want to?! There's literally no reason not to! As for actually getting there, they say you have to do something really bad, like killing someone, but-" the boy giggled his freakish laugh again- "I think I found a loophole!" he sang. The human then pulled a pair of embroidery scissors out of his shorts pockets. A pit that had been growing in Lampy's stomach suddenly amplified in size. "If you do something really bad to yourself with the INTENTION of being corrupted, then it should totally work."</p>
<p>What was he saying? This was stupid. </p>
<p>Wasn't it?</p>
<p>But... it was terribly enticing. Being immortal. Having special abilities? It would hurt so much, but what if it was worth it? It would be fun. It would be fun. </p>
<p>Lampy was feeling sleepy. Maybe that's why he agreed. Maybe he just wasn't thinking properly. Or maybe that was just an excuse. Lampy’s hands shook. He wasn’t quite so sure about this. He’d only be corrupt because he did this, it’s not like he wanted to murder anyone or something silly like that. In all honesty, it was an easy trade off when you looked at things objectively.</p>
<p>His friend handed him the scissors. They were very pretty. He didn't like that one bit, but at least they were clean. He couldn't imagine putting a pair of dirty scissors right on his open eyeball. </p>
<p>“This is going to be GREAT! I promise.”</p>
<p>Hahaha</p>
<p>“Right.”</p>
<p>It was so close to Lampy's eye. His friend was giggling. Shivers traveled through his whole body. It was so close. It was so so so so so close. This was a good idea. This was a good idea. Right as me made the movement towards his eye, the human spoke. But it was a second too late for him to react. </p>
<p>"Haha, JEEZ I can't believe you really went that f- WHAT THE FUCK?!" </p>
<p>Lampy jabbed the scissors into his left eye, twisting it and plunging it deeper and deeper. He didn't even mean to make them dig in so deeply, but the words were startling. He felt a burning sensation oozing through his skull; it was an unbelievable amount of pain. He jolted the scissors out of his eye as fast as he could and tossed them on the ground, heaving and holding back tears.</p>
<p>"AHAHAHA WOAAAAH!! I didn't think you'd actually go through with it! I was just fucking kidding dude, you can't actually use a loophole! Good lord you're gullible-" </p>
<p>Lampy's head was swimming and he bent over, on the verge of vomiting. The words floated around his ears without entering his head. It hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it-</p>
<p>"Aw come on dude, this isn't anyone's fault but yours so quit crying. You look like a baby. I mean honestly, how could you even believe something like that?"</p>
<p>Because corruption WAS real. That IS what happens when you get corrupted. You just lied about the loophole. You just lied. You just- AGH- It hurts it hurts it hurts- </p>
<p>There was something sickening in him though. When he finally started hearing his friend's voice. It was thick and warm and permeated his veins. There was definitely a way to resist it, to push it back down and make it go away, and part of Lampy wanted to do that. But most of him just wanted to let it out. His limbs were shivering. He inched his head around painstakingly slow, until he was facing his friend. That warm feeling was turning into one of icy shock, as if his soul had been plunged into a bucket of ice water after being boiled alive. Something felt intrinsically right about what he was about to do even if a part of him still wanted to stop it. Even if it wasn’t right, that part wouldn’t have been able to stop him. It was too late. If he went through with this, if he let the sickening sensation win, he really WOULD be corrupt.</p>
<p>Larry the Lamp got what he wanted.</p>
<p>He slowly rose to his feet and took a step forward. A strange liquid was flowing out of his eye.</p>
<p>He lunged for-</p>
<p>..</p>
<p>The transformation happened quicker than he expected. As soon as the human stopped breathing, his limbs darkened from deep black-blue to a pure black. It felt like he was boiling. Why was his eye still leaking? </p>
<p>In his opinion, the prank went over pretty well. After all, he got corrupted. He was immortal now, he would probably get more mutated as time went on. That's what he wanted, was it not? What a winner he was. Things were going over so terribly well for him. He would love this sensation forever, for as long as he existed. He would love it as much as he deeply despised it. </p>
<p>........................................................</p>
<p>“We’re here.”</p>
<p>Larry jolted up. Finally, a place to get some booze. As long as he could keep it in his system, maybe this job wouldn’t be so hard after all.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0016"><h2>16. Larry the Lamp Chapter 4: Everyone's in the Machine Now</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>aaaaah this chapter isn't as poorly written as the last. i think.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Larry was draped across a faded purple couch in a small living room in a small house in a small world in a large machine. He didn’t exactly remember how he got there after the drive but he didn’t care all too much. All he knew was that he'd leaned against the glass window of the car in a bout of exhaustion and now he lay here. What mattered though, was that he’d finally gotten a break. All that dramatic flashbacking was quite emotionally exhausting. </p>
<p>Everything was just... quiet. Maybe not peaceful, there was still a lingering sense of dread hanging in the air, but it was quiet. And his rest allowed him to think a little more clearly without focusing on the horrid things. </p>
<p>Larry’s ears pricked up at a small child’s voice, although it was hard to tell the age other than from the manner of speaking, as it was so deep.</p>
<p>“But I don’t WANT to go! I want to see Red and Duck again! Where’d you put them?? Give them back to me!!!”</p>
<p>Hmm. The child must have been screaming terribly loud but it was certainly muffled by many many walls. There was someone else speaking, but they were far too quiet.  </p>
<p>“Stop pulling on my hand, it hurts! I don’t want to go, I don’t want to go!”</p>
<p>More unintelligible dialogue.</p>
<p>“But you said I wasn’t supposed to go in that room? Why are we-“</p>
<p>The words were cut off by the deafening slam of a door. Larry didn’t think much of it though, he simply rolled over and went back to sleep.</p>
<p>...</p>
<p>It was a few hours later...</p>
<p>“Wake up you dullard.”</p>
<p>“Hmm..? Oh hey there Mr. Roy sir... Is it job time?” Larry's sense were still a little dulled by the drowsiness.</p>
<p>Roy wordlessly grabbed the lamp's wrist and jolted him off the couch. He didn’t respond cooperatively though, opting to just collapse on the floor, forcing Roy to drag him across the house.</p>
<p>“Oh will you just GET UP you worthless sack of garbage?!”</p>
<p>It was a little unnerving to hear Roy yell. “...garbage..?”</p>
<p>“You want to get paid, right? Then get up and follow me," the older man snarled.</p>
<p>“Mkay...” he groaned sleepily.</p>
<p>After shoving himself to his feet, Larry followed the tall man through the halls to a large metal door. Inside was a dark room with a black and white checkered floor and a weird machine in it, with tubes twisting up into the ceiling and three separate monitors displaying distorted images.</p>
<p>“Now what's this all about?”</p>
<p>“That doesn’t matter. As long as you’re in it, I can control you without trouble. As it turns out, it is ready to contain humans, I underestimated my work ethic." Roy's voice fell into its normal monotony, cold and empty. "You’re in luck though. You’ll be the last object I’ll ever have to hire for real. I can make the rest myself.” </p>
<p>The man reached into his pocket and dug out an excessively long and extremely sharp screwdriver. For a small moment, the object didn't know how to react. His thoughts were slow as a snail until suddenly, Larry felt a pang in his chest that snapped him out of his stupor. With a complete clarity to his voice, he frantically asked, “What d’you think you’re doing with that?” He anxiously took a few steps back. If he placed himself correctly and hid it with fear, he could bolt for the door and get out in time. </p>
<p>“I’m just going through with my plan...” Roy poised himself for a struggle as he drawled on. The two of them locked eyes for a few seconds, waiting for the next move.</p>
<p>“I should say though, I’ve already killed all my other employees, and they were some of the worst out there. I highly doubt YOU of all people could-“</p>
<p>As Roy was boasting, Larry made a break for it. He swerved to the left, hopping over the wires that burst out from behind the machine. Diving for the exit was his best bet, better than simply sprinting. Roy whipped around and bolted for him.</p>
<p>Larry slammed against the large metal door in his frenzy and grabbed for the latch. His hands slipped and shook as he grasped for it, and right as he turned it in his hands and began to pry the door open, he felt a tug on the back of his head. Roy had grabbed his ponytail and was jerking him away from his escape to safety. Larry’s hat flew off his head as it jerked away, and his precious belonging rolled onto the ground and out the door.</p>
<p>Roy jolted Larry forward so the two were facing each other and JABBED the screwdriver straight into his chest. Larry twitched and grasped at Roy’s skinny arms, trying to pry it away as ink oozed out and coughed from his mouth, but he was already starting to weaken. Roy twisted the screwdriver around in a circle, widening the messy wound before jolting it out of his chest.</p>
<p>Larry collapsed backwards and felt his head crack against the floor tiled. He tried to grasp at his wound but his arms wouldn’t move- everything was pressing down on his body, he couldn’t move anything! He felt his breathing stutter and gasp- his eyes started to roll back into his skull-</p>
<p>....</p>
<p>Roy looked down at the corpse. A job rather well done, if he could say so himself. Not as good as some of the others, but not a failure. Now the final stages would be complete. And he’d be able to FINALLY teach his son a lesson properly. </p>
<p>Roy grabbed the object’s leg and dragged him towards the machine. It’s such a shame that he had to kill them to put them in; it was a waste of quality creatures. But the trade off for full control was worth it. Far more efficient and failproof than telling them what to do for the lessons. And putting real objects in as information would make the works inside the machine so much more accurate. Everything he ever wanted really was falling into his hands. </p>
<p>And best of all, Red was none the wiser.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0017"><h2>17. Larry the Lamp Finale: DHMIS 6</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>the people voted for larry to be the next after i wrote colin which is kinda unfortunate because it just leaves this dangling cliffhanger that won't get resolved until the very end of the story. but on the other hand it kinda works in my favor for thematic purposes so whatcha gonna do</p>
<p>my favorite teacher is up next though. i am terribly excited to get started on him.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Larry the Lamp woke up. He felt himself floating through an empty dark void; a gentle humming whirred in the background. It was cold and silent and he couldn’t feel his body. He would've thought it wasn't even there anymore if it wasn't for the realization of a feeling inside him. There was something gross and ancient crawling around in his skin, eating its way through him. He could do nothing about it. The sensation wormed it’s way through his entire being; it felt like many tiny needles coated in mud overtaking his nervous system. It could almost be described as the equal and opposite sensation of corruption. All of the sickening filth with none of the cathartic warmth. </p>
<p>He couldn’t move.</p>
<p>There was something whispering in his ear. It was so uncomfortably, disgustingly close, like the person's lips were pressed against his ear, but he couldn’t hear what it was saying. The whispering crawled into his ear, through the canal, and rested on top of his brain. It was cold and wispy, like nitrogen gas. The cold spread through his body, while the feeling itself seeped into his brain. The words were etching themselves onto his thoughts even though he couldn't read them. It was like he wasn't meant to in the first place. </p>
<p>Larry slowly closed his eyes, and opened them again. Without telling himself to. He... he wasn’t in control at all. He couldn’t move, or speak, or even blink or breath. All he could do was think, and watch his body do something else.</p>
<p>Suddenly, he found himself in a bedroom. There was a little boy next to him. How odd indeed.</p>
<p>“Oh, somebody’s sleepy!-</p>
<p>-Heheh, But that’s silly!” he heard himself say.</p>
<p>There was something in between those two notions that he couldn't grasp. The boy seemed to be fighting back.</p>
<p>The person in control of his body continued, “How can you be sleepy, if you don’t know how to have Dreams?”</p>
<p>At that moment, Larry decided to check out of whatever was happening. After all, he wasn’t in control anyways. Why even bother. He needed to get his body back, or at least get out of it. Being a free floating consciousness might not be the worst in this scenario. Didn’t he die though? How could he be here? He was so terribly concerned about his predicament that he didn’t even notice much when the whole world turned into a cartoon for a few moments.</p>
<p>He snapped back into the present when he heard screaming. He saw the boy sitting in a tub full of oil, how filthy indeed. His body stepped into the tub and grabbed the boy, then slowly shoved him under the surface. Bad dream... it would repeat over and over again. The words tumbled out of his mouth like a waterfall. Like he was perfectly directed to commit the acts. His movements were so smooth and clear, not like the real him. Perhaps he could just go with the flow of this, he thought as the child clawed at his arms. There was no pain to the frantic attack. It didn’t much matter; whoever was in control of him was obviously far stronger than the child.</p>
<p>He didn’t much mind being in the situation for now, it was better than being dead. Was it not? </p>
<p>............</p>
<p>The song and dance continued almost forever, it seemed to Larry. His body would dance around the room, singing nonsense while the child loudly sobbed into his blanket. There WAS no way out of this, so he might as well watch the fun. Fun in large quotation marks. Whoever was controlling him clearly didn't know when to take a break. Was existence not tiresome for this mystery person?</p>
<p>“And you can have a dream about eating a drink, and you can have a dream about buying a hat! And you can have a dream about losing your friends! And you can have a dream about burning your fr-“</p>
<p>The world went fuzzy for a millisecond, and Larry found himself back in the void... alone. </p>
<p>Oh wait, no he wasn’t, there was someone right over there!</p>
<p>Larry directed his attention to a small object boy curled up in a ball, crying to himself. It was hard to pick up on any characteristics from this far away, but he had thin, silky hair, and a very colorful shirt. Larry was about to edge his way over to him, maybe by... swimming his consciousness through the void(?), when the world suddenly seemed to tilt. The boy flitted out of existence and Larry tumbled over to a lower section of the infinite grayness.</p>
<p>He found himself surrounded by even more people. He saw what seemed to be a clock related object on his own... and a group of food objects huddled together. He also noticed a strange creature and snickered to himself. That wasn’t an object or a human, that was a giant butterfly man. How silly! </p>
<p>Wait a minute, he could move! Before, he had been nothingness, but now he could see and move in the void. Perhaps the controller had grown tired of keeping him down? It didn't much matter though, as there wasn't exactly much to feel.</p>
<p>The small crying boy from before reappeared and the butterfly disappeared. Everything and everyone kept flickering in and out of existence, and he even flicked back into that cursed bedroom a few times! As the intensity and rapidity of the switches increased, the void tilted more and more, sending the objects flying to and fro throughout it. As the world shook, the void’s gray started to brighten! It was as if someone was mixing up the colors of a drink. The objects were getting quite tangled up now! Oh, it’s all such a mess! There were strange invisible walls that they would all slam into, knock their heads against, crack their limbs. But it didn't mean anything at all!! What the hell was this?! Larry had long forgotten his concerns about his mysterious possession, he just wanted to GET OUT OF HERE!!</p>
<p>The tumbling and shaking and moving increased in frequency, and someone was bound to break their neck at this point. Larry cringed as he repeatedly got crushed by the other objects in the void. They were all so large and it was all so heavy and electric and loud and it hurt so much so much so much.</p>
<p>Then the tilting stopped....</p>
<p>....and the world grew dark. </p>
<p>A pitch black splashed into the gray like paint in water. The humming from before stopped, and Larry felt himself go unconscious yet again.</p>
<p>................</p>
<p>The teachers woke up in a field. The sky was dark.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0018"><h2>18. Pete the Steak Chapter 1: The Rats Come Out to Play</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>i know, i know, it's not really a *traditional* steak guy name but ehhhhhh its what i decided on ages ago so m. </p>
<p>anywhomst, time for my Favorite Teacher! and you know what happens to my Favorites? suffering! lets have some fun</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It was the year of 1925, and nothing could go wrong. In a quaint little town in the middle of nature, there was nothing but quaint little joys. Things were perfectly average, and there was nothing much for anyone there to worry about besides the mundanities of life. The only thing remarkable about it all was the large, mysterious, misshapen building on the other side of the hill. But no one cared much about that. The residents never visited them much at all, so who's to say one should have an opinion on it or not. That was the general consensus.</p>
<p>In the town, there was a little object named Steaky. He was 10 years old, with reddish meaty hair, ruffled messy clothes from all the play, and a very pleasant smile. On top of all that, he was a rather curious little mite. He had a nice family in his mother, and that was all he really needed in that regard. Steaky had a sizable group of friends who he’d go out with every day after school to explore the are around his hometown. Of course, they always stayed away from that one building in particular.</p>
<p>It loomed to the southeast of town, over a line of hills behind which was a river. Across the river was the large, dark building. It was three stories high, more round than angular, and had steam pumping out of it at all times from various chimneys. The elders of the town always said to stay away from the building because dangerous people might live there. Supposedly. The kids started rumors that if you went inside, you’d never come back out. How exciting!</p>
<p>Unfortunately, in the summer of 1925, Steaky broke the rules.</p>
<p>......................</p>
<p>Steaky and his gaggle of friends made their way towards the hills, checking behind themselves at all times to make sure no adults were following them. It appeared that the trek through the town square had been unassuming enough that no one caught on. This bet would be the most wonderous thing ever to their little fourth grader brains.</p>
<p>“Shh, stop making so much noise Tile! We’ll be caught!”</p>
<p>“Come now, we'll be alright! If everyone agrees with the excuse then they won't suspect a thing!”</p>
<p>The gathering of schoolchildren lined themselves up on the top of the hills to get a peek at the steampunk-esque building. To their surprise, it was FAR taller than they imagined, stretching high into the sky and casting an ominous shadow.</p>
<p>Everyone awkwardly glanced back and forth at each other, unsure of who to send first. The prospect of scouting out the building had been so enticing right until they actually caught sight of it. The children simply muttered between themselves and gestured to each other as a show of "politeness." Oh, but wouldn't it be best if you went first? Oh, I couldn't possibly. After a few more moments, Steaky sighed and raised his inky arm.</p>
<p>“I suppose I’ll go first...”</p>
<p>The children erupted into excitement at his volunteer and in the chaos, shunted him forward. He tumbled down the hill, barely avoiding the fracture of bones, and splashed into the river. Everyone froze and stared at him floating down the current. After a few more seconds, panic replaced the excitement as they all scattered back into town! Ohhh, they'd get into such terrible trouble for this; who even thought this was a good idea? Unfortunately for Steaky, they would not think to tell anyone about him until several minutes after the fact. </p>
<p>Meanwhile, back at the bottom of the hill, Steaky was struggling against the river. It wasn’t too terribly strong, but enough to be disorienting to his short child body. He couldn’t seem to get ahold of either shore, and felt a shot of fear enter his brain at the thought of getting swept under the waves! The water lashed at him and suctioned onto his arm, jolting his head below the surface. He let out a muffled scream before feeling an arm pulling on the back of his shirt. In hindsight, he wished he'd drowned that day. </p>
<p>Steaky found himself back on land, on the other side of the river. Chastising himself for screaming while he was still underwater, he shivered and tried to shake off some of the water. He whipped his head around to get a look at his savior-</p>
<p>Standing before him was a tall, one armed object with a strange look in her eyes but a smile on her face. She had some sort of fruity hair tied back in a low bun, and a beautiful poofy-skirted dress.</p>
<p>“Uh.... Oh! Th- thank you for saving me miss!”</p>
<p>“It was no problem. No problem at all...”</p>
<p>Steaky felt a sudden warmth in his chest at the sound of her voice. It was like honey mixed into tea. He stood up and took a careless step towards this strange girl.</p>
<p>Ah, he was forgetting his manners. “Er... My name is Steaky! What’s- what’s your name? If I may ask of course." </p>
<p>She straightened herself and adjusted her hair slightly. “My name is Penny the Pineapple.”</p>
<p>“Penny? Is that not a human name?” He felt a shiver in his spine, but he wasn’t quite sure why.</p>
<p>“Not necessarily. Plenty of objects are gifted what you would call human names. It is just not common in your town. But where I’m from, most objects have ‘human’ names! It is not wise to make assumptions, silly boy,” she teased.</p>
<p>“Ah- I'm sorry, I didn't mean to offend,” the boy quickly apologized.</p>
<p>"Oh think nothing of it, I'm just teaching you a lesson," she smiled. It was rather addicting, that expression. He'd never seen something like that, even from his own mother. Steaky paused in thought; he wanted to keep speaking to this girl!</p>
<p>“Where are you from then?”</p>
<p>“Why, I live in there silly!” She pointed at the tall building behind them.</p>
<p>“Oh, I see..." At the moment of his hesitation, he could have sworn he saw her eyes darken, but it was so fleeting that he must have imagined it. "Erm... what’s it like in there? My mother always told me it was dangerous...”</p>
<p>Penny snickered to herself. “It's not dangerous at all! In there, our family is dedicated to being as healthy as possible! How can that be dangerous?”</p>
<p>Steaky shifted his feet. “What exactly does THAT mean? 'Healthy as possible'?” He was surprised by the eagerness in his voice.</p>
<p>“Hmm. Mostly food related health. Most of us in there are food objects after all, although there are some other kinds and even a few humans! Our family is extremely inclusive." She flashed him another quick smile. "Tell me, what does your mother tell you about eating healthy?” Just like that, Penny managed to turn the conversation in her favor.</p>
<p>“She... she says I have to eat my carrots and string beans. But I don’t like to. It makes my mouth feel gross...”</p>
<p>“Mm, that’s a common mistake. Soil foods aren’t ACTUALLY good for you, dear Steaky.”</p>
<p>“They aren’t?! Then why would my mom tell me to eat them?”</p>
<p>“Because she doesn’t actually know what’s best for you...” Steaky gasped and Penny had to hide a satisfied smirk. “It’s true. Many parents don’t. She lied about to you about my home being dangerous after all. Would it really be a stretch that she lied about what you should eat? Even if she didn't know better, it was still a lie.”</p>
<p>Steaky hung his head. That felt... weird, hearing that his mother was wrong. Especially from such a nice, pleasant lady. He hadn't even known her for 20 minutes and she was already turning his world upside down. Adults weren't supposed to be wrong like that. But the way she spoke, the words she chose, the way she said them all made him believe her without question.</p>
<p>Penny pressed a finger to her cheek as if she was deep in thought before finally speaking again. “Hmm, do you want to know more about being healthy? The truth about it? It would be very good for you!”</p>
<p>"Why do you care so much about my health?" He knew it was a rude question, and he regretted it as soon as he saw her saddened face.</p>
<p>"I'm sorry, I was under the impression we were friends! I was just trying to be nice after all."</p>
<p>"Ah- I'm sorry, I'm sorry! In that case, yes, yes I do want to learn more!" He found himself bouncing up and down on the river's shore.</p>
<p>“Well... I think you should meet my family for that. We are friends after all, and friends should meet each other’s families! And they ARE the leading authority on this sort of thing!”</p>
<p>“Really!? May I go see them right now??”</p>
<p>Penny sighed and kneeled down to Steaky’s level. “No, not yet. But I’ll tell them all about you and we can see them tomorrow! Doesn't that sound nice?”</p>
<p>“Oh that IS wonderful! I can’t wait!!”</p>
<p>“There is one condition though,” Penny grabbed his arm and jerked him towards her, “You can’t tell anyone about us, or me, or what you heard here. Alright darling? We don't want anyone to get mad at you.” She augmented that statement with a concerned look.</p>
<p>“Of course!” Steaky replied without hesitation. He whipped around and hopped across some stepping stones to cross back over.</p>
<p>As Penny the Pineapple watched Steaky crawl up the hill back home, she hummed to herself.</p>
<p>.........</p>
<p>The rat comes out to play- to play</p>
<p>The rat comes out today....</p>
<p>I get to walk away- away</p>
<p>But you will have to stay....</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0019"><h2>19. Pete the Steak Chapter 2: A Different Form of Social Distancing</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>haha get it. cuz social distancing from everyone he cares about. by the food family.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Penny the Pineapple had assured the family that Steaky would be a perfect fit. He was young, excitable.... and gullible. So they were all terribly excited to meet him. When Steaky arrived the next day, he was met with adoration and intrigue from Penny’s family. He was so overwhelmed with joy, he didn’t know what to do with himself! They found him charming in a quaint, adorable way. Like a pet to gawk at, but he was none the wiser. He simply interpreted it as an innocent child would, as simple joy that he was an interesting person. The words they said were coated in honey, even when they were teasing him for his poor eating habits. He didn't mind in the slightest. This warmth compared to the kind his normal friends gave was like comparing a bursting volcano to a small bonfire. The first was greater and hotter, but it would hurt more if something went wrong. But things wouldn't go wrong, they couldn't go wrong, Steaky couldn't fathom the idea that these people were anything wrong and that feeling would only grow with time. </p>
<p>Steaky was promised that their doors where open to him any time, as long as he never told anyone about them. He conceded, as he saw nothing wrong with it. After all, everyone seemed to wrongly think they were dangerous, so it’s no wonder they only wanted him around. He'd proven himself kind enough to be welcomed by them, he'd EARNED their kindness.</p>
<p>Steaky visited almost every day, playing with the younger members, and chatting with the older ones to learn about being healthy. They had such a fascinating way of life, and he tried to emulate them in every manner. It must have been working, because the moment he tried to break his Healthy Diet at his mother's orders, he threw up violently. There were splashes of his own inky blood in the bile, so his mother rushed him to the hospital for the day. He was disappointed that he had missed a day with his friends, and he made sure to explain to them what happened. At some point, the visits had gained a sense of requirement. They said his excuse was good enough, and that he was forgiven. What joy he felt at those words.</p>
<p>The Food Family was excited. They hadn’t had such a solid recruit in so long. Now they just had to wait for the inevitable chance to snatch up this unsuspecting little rat into their clutches. All was going as planned.</p>
<p>........</p>
<p>Steaky soon began to neglect his other friends. It didn't happen on purpose, he just... didn't have the time anymore. He'd grown used to visiting his new friends as soon as he left his house in the morning, and staying for hours into the night. There was no more space in his life for them, especially when the Family began to plant seeds of doubt in his head. They framed every single little thing his old friends did as negative, or against his own good. They didn't know what it was like, they weren't like him, and they certainly couldn't compare to the Family. Those poor schoolchildren just didn’t understand why he couldn’t tell them where he was going everyday, or why they couldn’t come with him. They couldn’t understand his new Healthy lifestyle. And they didn’t like how scary he looked. He was miserable looking, tired and hungry all the time. His eyebags were sagging and darkening with every day, his skin was growing paler and paler, and his hair smelled like rotten meat, which was probably what it had become. It came to be that every day would have the child collapse at least once, but this was fine, this was normal. He was just going through the adjusting process, and it wasn't even that bad. Steaky saw himself as being happy as ever, especially with his new friends to help him along, but to everyone else he looked utterly corpselike.</p>
<p>The Food Family had successfully cut off one of his life lines. Now they just had that pesky biological mother to deal with. Thankfully, their opportunity arrived just before school started.</p>
<p>.....</p>
<p>It was 9:00 in the morning, August 19th. Steaky was on his way out to see his friends when his mother stopped him at the door. She led him back into the kitchen and knelt in front of him, squeezing his shoulders. Her eyebrows were knit together in concern.</p>
<p>“Darling, I think perhaps you should stay home for today. It’s good that you get your exercise so often but you don’t seem to be feeling well...” Her voice wavered as her eyes raked over his ever-thinning frame.</p>
<p>“What? I feeling amazing!”</p>
<p>“That’s not just it though... The other parents tell me they’re worried about you. They say you go off somewhere every day and don’t say where or why. I- I don’t like the sound of that. There's too many horrid things floating around, I just want to believe it's not true but you keep leaving like this! You're behaving irresponsibly.”</p>
<p>It was difficult forcing a mask of stern parenthood when she was so utterly terrified for her son. They'd only just left the era of the Spanish Flu a few years ago, and now he was as sickly as some of the victims. But he shouldn't be! And he shouldn't be running away like this! Children should go and explore and play but not like this, not when it was hurting them and they couldn't even speak of it. Her child's eyes darkened as he opened his hoarse mouth to speak.  </p>
<p>“You're being silly. It’s nothing dangerous.” His diction was uncharacteristically cold, as if he was being told what to say.</p>
<p>“Really now? I'm the one being silly? Then tell me what you’re doing when you run off all day.”</p>
<p>That seemed to give him pause. The look in his eyes deeply unsettled the object woman, gifting her a sensation akin to boiling her stomach acid. Steaky shifted his feet and picked at his collar. “I can’t tell you.”</p>
<p>“You cannot?”</p>
<p>“No.”</p>
<p>His mother sighed and placed her hand on her head. What a piece of work this child had become; he had been so perfect before! A heavy weight latched onto her soul. “Then I guess you can’t go.”</p>
<p>“What?!” he shouted, clearly taken aback.</p>
<p>“If you can’t tell me where you’re going or- or what you’re doing, then you should NOT be going.”</p>
<p>Steaky anxiously fidgeted with his hands, his feet already nervously shifting around. “But I have to!!” He wasn't even trying to stop himself from yelling at her, which was probably the least disturbing part at this point. But if she got him through this, she had to be sure to teach him a lesson in respect. She would NOT have him talk to her like this.</p>
<p>“No, you don’t have to. In fact, perhaps it would be best if you didn't leave the house at all. Maybe a week of staying inside will force you to settle down. And be grateful I'm not making it any longer with how you've been acting!”</p>
<p>“NO!!" the child shrieked. "I can’t miss a whole week, they’ll kill me!!!”</p>
<p>His mother jolted up in surprise at this. What on earth was her little boy up to? Or rather- WHO was he talking about?</p>
<p>“...Steaky, who’s ‘they?’”</p>
<p>A long streak of silence hung in the air. Her child's eyes were flitting around in a panic and he looked ready to flee the room at any moment. She had to hold firm; this might go far deeper than she'd considered.</p>
<p>“I- I can’t tell you...”</p>
<p>“Steaky! You tell me RIGHT this instant, who are you meeting every day?”</p>
<p>Steaky folded his arms against himself in a strange self hug. Oh now he’d REALLY done it. He- he didn’t have a choice, did he? He was cornered now. His mother stepped closer.</p>
<p>“I need you to tell me, right now." Her voice, while clearly commanding, still shook like a dandelion in the wind. "I’ll give you to the count of three.</p>
<p>One.</p>
<p>Two.</p>
<p>Thr-“</p>
<p>Steaky burst forward and elbowed his mother in the stomach, shoving her to the ground before bolting towards the door in a panic. The look he'd shot her in that final moment was a mixture of boiling hatred and utter terror. As he ran into the unusually windy outdoors, he heard her screaming his name, first in anger, and then in fear. But he couldn’t turn back now, he could never turn back after this. He found tears streaking down his face as he raced through the town and down the hill, back to the Food Family’s building. Back into the arms of those that wanted him. He spotted Penny waiting for him eagerly at the entrance.</p>
<p>“You’re quite late St- Oh dear! What's happened here?”</p>
<p>The child flew into her open arms and tears stained her dress. He couldn’t even formulate words, he was so distraught.</p>
<p>“Ohhh, come on inside darling, I am certain we can figure this out.”</p>
<p>That dulcet voice dragged him inside the building.</p>
<p>......</p>
<p>After Steaky explained his predicament to the members, they pretended to ponder for a moment before one of the older ones chimed in. </p>
<p>“You did the right thing you know. She never should have asked in the first place.”</p>
<p>Steaky blew his nose on another tissue. “R- really?”</p>
<p>“Indeed. In fact, it’s a very good thing you got out of there when you did. Things could have gone terribly wrong.” Steaky lowered his head dejectedly. “It’s better off that you stay here with us.”</p>
<p>“But won’t everyone back home want me back?”</p>
<p>“Oh no no no. They always say that if you run away, they will look for you, but that is simply untrue. Many of us ran away to come here, and we never left. It is... better this way." The elder's face seem to fall slightly before picking back up again. "If you tried to go back, they would hate you for what they THINK you have done. They would throw you out on the streets! You only have us now... But you should be grateful for that more than anything.”</p>
<p>Steaky remained silent while slowly burying his face in his hands. It felt as if a piece of him had just been taken out and killed.</p>
<p>“It is alright, we know it takes some getting used to. However, this is the best outcome. And fear not, we already have a room for you.” Steaky slowly looked up at the elder in confusion. “We always have plenty of space for our family.” they quickly explained with a smile.</p>
<p>...........</p>
<p>Steaky situated himself in his new room. It had a nice creamish carpet and light blue painted walls. All that resided in it was a bed but they assured him he could decorate later. The child allowed his senses to absorb everything in the small room. The floor beneath his now shoeless feet felt foreign in its texture, and the air seeped into his inky skin. Even with his duller sense from the exhaustion of it all, he could still feel an atmosphere of foreboding hanging over everything. But he had nowhere to go anyways, he chided to himself as he crawled on top of the bed. The softness was addicting, and if he wasn't careful, he might find himself falling asleep before he even had time to think. He opted to grab a large pillow and wrap himself tightly around it, sobbing into the soft, downy fluff. He felt the need to say something, to explain or mourn to himself. Himself? No, he really wanted to talk to someone else. All he could manage to sputter out was, “I’m sorry mother...”</p>
<p>That was the last time the two ever saw each other.</p>
<p>And things would soon become much, much worse</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0020"><h2>20. Pete the Steak Chapter 3: You've Made a Terrible Mistake</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>hachacha lets get into the Meat of the story now. i like these chapters cuz they actually have a decent word length instead of being Garbage On A Plate</p>
<p>uh anyways lets have some fun or something. idk man i am working way too late on this but i REALLY wanna get it done in one day</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>When I, your spirited narrator, said that things would soon get much worse, “soon” ended up being about six months later. How unfortunate for him.</p>
<p>Steaky had grown used to life with the Food Family, although he still sorely missed his old friends and mother. He’d gotten to know the others there quite well though. They could likely never replace the others, but they didn't need to. They just made him happy in a different way. Penny, of course, was still one of the members closest to him, although he didn’t get to see her as often as he liked. The elder, Alan-a-dale the Aspic, was also quite amiable towards him. Truthfully, Alan never used his full name, so Steaky didn't know quite what kind of object he was, but he didn’t ever feel the need to ask. The man was caring for him and all the other kids in the building, providing housing, food, and all the like. So if he wanted to keep his full name quiet, then Steaky was under no requirement to pry.</p>
<p>The little food object was informed early on that in order to stay there, he had to pull his own weight. That mostly involved doing chores however, so he found himself floating along quite easily. Honestly, it was the least he could do to thank them for taking him in. He used his work time as an opportunity to get to know the other children there. He found they were a lot like him. While doing the laundry or sweeping the floors, he would speak to them about all sorts of things, including how they ended up here. He didn't recognize most of them, but there were two or three that he heard had gone missing ages ago. They seemed as fine as the rest of them.</p>
<p>The other children also had to leave their homes and had nowhere else to go. But the Food Family always graciously took them in, kind as they were. Their infinite generosity was more than they could bear, and they felt enlightened and simultaneously horrified that their previous lifestyle would have dug them an early grave.  </p>
<p>Steaky turned 11 a few months into his new life, and he was having a perfectly nice time. Until he was requested to do something... peculiar.</p>
<p>.....</p>
<p>Alan strolled into Steaky’s room, gently calling his name.</p>
<p>“Steaky~ I have got a VERY important job for you!” His voice had the exact same sugarcoated intonation to it that all the elders of the Family possessed. The tone that lulled the child into safety and warmth.</p>
<p>“Oh, what is it sir?”</p>
<p>“You shall see,” Alan replied with a grin as he dragged Steaky out the door and downstairs. "And come now, you know you do not have to refer to me as sir."</p>
<p>"I know, I know. I just... want to be polite." Being rude reminded him too much of his last conversation with his mother. Steaky was led to the front living room and watched quizzically as Alan pushed a bookshelf out of the way. He gasped at the reveal of a secret tunnel leading down into the darkness.</p>
<p>Alan took note of his excitement. “This building goes much deeper than you think, little one.” He grabbed Steaky's hand once again, and began to explain his new job on the way down the stairs. The eerily cold and metallic sheets of stairs were only lit by a few lanterns hooked on to the wall. The spiraling stairway really seemed to go down forever and ever and the duo's voices simultaneously echoed and were muffled by the walls.</p>
<p>“You see, as a collective Food Family, we like to spread our knowledge about health throughout the world. It is our duty, in a sense, to help others grow happier and heartier. Unfortunately, many people... disagree with our notions, and even despise us.” They finally exited the spiral and he shut a large door behind them as they entered a tall room with many pillars and corridors. “Sometimes... they even try to hurt us.”</p>
<p>“What?! That’s horrid!”</p>
<p>“Indeed it is," he responded sadly. "Your new job is related to them.”</p>
<p>Steaky tilted his head in confusion, “I don’t think I understand sir...”</p>
<p>“Well, we managed to capture one of these bad people attempting to sneak in, and we want you to help us deal with them.”</p>
<p>Incensed, the child responded without hesitation. “Oh you bet I will! I’ll give them quite the talking to!” Steaky pumped his fist in the air, eager to help this person understand what they did wrong.</p>
<p>Alan-a-dale kneeled down to face Steaky. “Yes, of course child. Think about it. They tried to hurt us, to KILL us. They were going to destroy us from the inside out!” Steaky clenched his fist in fear and anger. “That enrages you, can't you feel it?”</p>
<p>“I do,” he nodded.</p>
<p>“Does not that just make you want to teach them a lesson? Does that not just make you want to give them back in kind?”</p>
<p>"Yes. Yes it does."</p>
<p>"It makes you want to kill them, does it not?"</p>
<p>“Ye- Wait, WHAT?!?” Steaky took a step back and Alan furrowed his brow. With that one word, a spear of terror shot through the boy's heart. “Kill them?! I don’t- why would I- I don’t wanna hurt anyone!” </p>
<p>“But you simply must. It is our job, our way of life.” The older man's eyes darkened though his expression of feigned confusion remained the same. </p>
<p>“But it’s not- it’s not right! I could never kill someone, never never ever!” Steaky was shaking with a mixture of anger and fear and his voice had trouble forcing its way past his lips.</p>
<p>“But you are a part of our family. This is your job. You cannot stay here if you do not commit to your job.” </p>
<p>“Well... if...” Steaky paused and thought out a response. Alan cocked his head in interest, urging him with his body language to dare and speak a retort. “If I have to KILL people to stay here, then I don’t wanna stay here!”</p>
<p>And that was exactly what he was looking for. Alan took a step forward, looming over the child. “You have nowhere else to go. You know your fake family will not take you back.”</p>
<p>“I don’t care! I’ll figure out something on my own! I’d rather be on the streets than a murderer!” his voice cracked out. It was difficult to distinguish what was fear and what was disgust, but such things didn't matter anymore. Steaky stomped towards the door and jiggled the knob.</p>
<p>It wouldn’t open.</p>
<p>“Oh dear. Are you looking for this?” Steaky turned around to see Alan spinning a large key around his finger with frightening grin on his face. The sort that sent chills racketing through his bones.</p>
<p>Alan snapped his fingers and a group of objects emerged from the adjacent corridors. Steaky instantly flattened himself against the door in raw panic. He began to hyperventilate as they drew ever closer. What was this apprehension, this terror digging into his skull? Why couldn't he pull enough air into his tiny lungs? Why did he suddenly feel as if his eyes were bulging out of his head?!</p>
<p>“You know, I am a little disappointed. Usually we don’t have to begin re-education until much later into the process. It is a rarity for the first assignment to be the first denied. I suppose I... we all overestimated you.”</p>
<p>The objects grabbed at Steaky's puny, squirming body and heaved him away from the door.</p>
<p>“Still, it is always exciting to witness a new member be educated. The pleading is my favorite part of the whole process. They really think their lying emotions are better for them than what we have to say.”</p>
<p>“AAAUUGH!! GET AWAY FROM ME!! DON'T TOUCH ME!!!!” Steaky kicked one of the objects in the jaw as the group began to lift him in the air and tried to pry himself away from the torrent of tightly shackled arms.</p>
<p>“Hmm? What is this? I thought you did not wish to hurt anyone.” Steaky attempted to swallow the nervous bile that was building up in his throat, but the hungry glare the older object was shooting him was making it a terribly difficult task.</p>
<p>Alan-a-dale nodded to one of the objects. “You know where to take him.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0021"><h2>21. Pete the Steak Chapter 4: Torture is Unbreakable</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>if you couldn't tell from that absolutely genius title, this is a bad time. i don't actually recall showing the torture on screen, but who knows, keep careful regardless.</p>
<p>we need to make him a villain somehow</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The members dragged Steaky through the enormous hallway and around a corner as Alan-a-dale trailed close behind them. The corridor was significantly smaller than the expansive location of before, and the group of kidnapees had to squeeze closer together to avoid the rusting, dusty, mold coated walls. Alan ignored their minor complaints and slowed pace. He was more eager to see how little ol’ Steaky would break under the pressure. He had a feeling that this member in particular would be the most fun he'd had in a long while. The group rounded another corner, and descended a short flight of stairs. Every now and then, Steaky would manage to squirm out of their arms for a moment and make a break for it, but would be quickly snatched up before he had the chance to make any proper headway.</p>
<p>The corridor they entered had a low, oppressive ceiling and pipes lining the walls. The doors were heavy and sealed with gargantuan vault latches. The gang came to a halt and Alan motioned to the nearest door. The members hurled the object inside and marched in after him.</p>
<p>Alan stood in the doorway. “I say we start by dealing with that disgusting mouth of his. He must be punished for the vile things that spewed from it. This obscene child requires a Healthier maw. After that, you are permitted to move on to our more traditional education.”</p>
<p>Alan left them behind, eased the door shut, and locked them in. He leaned against the wall and relaxed. Now all they had to do was wait.</p>
<p>.................................</p>
<p>The screaming is the most fascinating part. They always start the same, with begging to stop and promising to do better next time. Of course, that’s always a lie. Even if you let them loose at that, they would keep no such promise. To TRULY make sure they do what you ask, you are required to let the message sink in. The child's screaming and shrieking quickly devolved into incomprehensible wails and cries; he probably couldn’t talk properly anymore on account of his mouth being deformed, just as ordered. After about 7 hours, the screaming stopped and he went deathly quiet. Of course, he wasn’t dead. The members were experts at keeping them alive. If Alan had to hazard a guess, the child was just exhausted. But students of re-education were granted no such luxuries like rest. Not until the educators needed it themselves.</p>
<p>After another hour they decided to retire for the day and continue tomorrow. However, they cycled in shifts to make sure the child stayed up all through the night. </p>
<p>The next day held far more excitement. This was when they’d start TRUE re-education. They had formulated a perfect set of curriculum for all incoming members that they used for this specific circumstance. For the next several hours, they’d make sure he’d associate their teachings with rewards, and disagreement with pain, whether he wanted to or not. It was nonstop, unrelenting, heavy. The rewards devolved into little more than a grin in his general direction, but it was far better than the punishments. </p>
<p>The child was a particularly stubborn sort of kid. Most re-education sessions lasted a few days. His lasted a week. Alan did not fully understand. The faster he submitted, the sooner he would be allowed to rest. But perhaps this was for the best. As the lessons dragged on and on and on and on, the child responded faster and faster every time, but he would still dare to slip up. </p>
<p>At least they’d be sure that he’d be useful. They quickly forced him to associate pain with the snap of the fingers. It was almost hilarious the way such a simple thing could affect one so easily.</p>
<p>On about day six, he seemed to finally understand the curriculum and they could move on to any final incentives. They couldn’t have him shying away from violence, so they reinforced the triggers into his psyche to make sure he’d listen. Doubling down on the snapping, and a few backup motions in case that somehow failed, seemed to be working wonders.</p>
<p>Alan-a-dale was assured in the fact that the child would soon be corrupted. Not by the act of re-education itself, but by whatever they’d have him next assigned. He pondered what human name they would give him. He was planning to make an excellent executioner, or rather, butcher out of him. What’s a good butcher’s name?</p>
<p>Ah, it was finally time for him to walk out.</p>
<p>........</p>
<p>Steaky could not stand up, his body hurt too much. The door was wide open, full of cold light beckoning him forward and he could barely put himself into a crawling position. After a few failures of propping himself up with his elbows, he opted to give up. It was better to lie here and die on the cold metal floor, wasn't it. His mouth hadn't stopped hurting, and he couldn't close it. He knew some of his teeth were missing, and he could feel the skin that had been peeled back to leave nothing but sinew and muscle. Bony hands slid underneath his arms and hooked around him. He someone dragged him to his feet and apathetically guided him forward.</p>
<p>Alan-a-dale was inviting him towards the bright corridor, or did it only seem so bright because the room was so dark? His eyes wanted to bleed and pop out of his skull. Why couldn't he just fall into blindness and never have to see this horrid place and these cruel people again? Steaky shivered and swayed as he was practically dropped in front of the older object. He was inched closer to him.</p>
<p>Something dropped to the ground, landing between his shaking hands. It was a strange, red piece of cloth with strings attached to it. When he didn't react, someone picked it up and tied it around his mouth. Ah, it was a face mask. Was it for protection? Or did they just not want anyone to stare at him. He couldn't see either of those options being true. Steaky picked at the mask weakly. It stung his raw wound.</p>
<p>He couldn’t bear to look into Alan’s eyes. Could he even lift his head? It was so heavy. It was all so heavy. Even his eyelids were heavy. </p>
<p>“Hm. You all did a magnificent job. He seems absolutely perfect...”</p>
<p>The other members clapped in excitement. It was always so interesting to have a REAL new member. Not one of those fakes that waited on the surface. The claps were like explosions in Steaky's ears.</p>
<p>“You know child, we have big plans for you.” He leaned over to face him. “I have been thinking you will make a good butcher. You will need a new name to fit in with us. What do you think is a good butcher’s name?”</p>
<p>Steaky didn’t respond. He couldn't tell whether he was hearing Alan or not. Part of him wanted to believe he was just hallucinating any words that came out of the elder's mouth.</p>
<p>Alan placed his hand under Steaky’s chin. “I think Pete is a good butcher’s name, do you all agree?” The others nodded in agreement. “Yes, that is a good name. Pete. Pete the Steak. That is your name.” </p>
<p>Pete didn’t respond.</p>
<p>“Answer me, is your name Steaky?”</p>
<p>He shook his head slowly. It took too much effort. He had to agree. It would be more effort to survive their anger if he disagreed.</p>
<p>“Very good.” Alan drifted away from him, as if he was walking through a dream. “It would be perfect if you all showed him to our REAL quarters.”</p>
<p>The group escorted him out the corridor.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0022"><h2>22. Pete the Steak Chapter 5: Becoming a Monster Slowly</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>fun.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The first order of business was getting the child to kill someone.</p>
<p>They shoved Pete into one of the prison rooms and gestured to a simple kitchen knife on the ground. If the child could not handle a simple task such as this, then they may have to prolong his torment. He didn’t move at first, instead opting to stare at the unfortunate soul who got caught by the Family. It was a thin, fearful, pathetic looking human. </p>
<p>“Oh please, don’t be so dramatic, we even made it easier for you!” They plucked at the rope holding the captive in place. It was wrapped around each of the human's limbs and neck, essentially bolting them to the ground while upright. “See? Now you don’t even have to struggle.”</p>
<p>Pete slowly bent down and grabbed the knife. His hands trembled and he felt himself unable to take a step forward, his legs locked to the ground. Though he had never experienced sleep paralysis before, he would later imagine that it was not unlike this.</p>
<p>One of the other members groaned in irritation. How could they grow so impatient so quickly, the boy wondered. Or had he simply been losing track of time in that sheer tense moment. “Remember what you learned about?” They snapped their fingers and Pete flinched violently, his whole body recoiling like a spring. He then immediately sprinted towards the captive. Raising  the knife high in the air, with no hesitation or tremors, he drove it into their skull-</p>
<p>It lingered for an infinitely long second. Time seemed to freeze as Pete felt the sensation of the metal digging through and shattering the bone. There was not a single sound hanging in the air. No breath, no heartbeat, no pulsating of the building. Nothingness.</p>
<p>Then he stabbed again,</p>
<p>and again,</p>
<p>and again.</p>
<p>And he couldn’t stop.</p>
<p>And he couldn't stop he could do nothing nothing nothing nothing nothing</p>
<p>Pete hacked at that poor soul for five minutes straight, screaming and sobbing and making all sorts of disturbing primal cries as he murdered them in a fervor of panic. His movements were wildly sloppy and animalistic, as if he did this in the heat of a violent murderer chasing him rather than the calculated mess planned for him. His limbs were electrified in the endless moments of horror. The stench permeated the room and his soul. The exhaustion that had wracked his being just minutes ago had vanished the instant that snap was heard. Nothing but raw fear had taken him over at that second. The knife became BLUNT due to how many times he stabbed against that human's bones and it eventually flew out of his hands from the force of impact. The other members eventually dragged him away from the body kicking and screaming, marveling at his handiwork.</p>
<p>It was a completely unrecognizable mess of red. Quite an interesting outcome indeed. One of them turned around to drag Pete off to his quarters as he sobbed into his mask. His inky body soured from a dark blue to a pure black.</p>
<p>........</p>
<p>Their efforts turned out to be completely worth it. Everything turned out exactly like they wanted. He would make the PERFECT butcher.</p>
<p>Of course, even if he was completely under their control, they couldn’t risk him doing “field assignments” yet. He might run off or go crazy or the like. No, it’d be much better to keep him in the building for the time being. At least until all his old friends and family were gone. And so they kept him inside for almost twenty years.</p>
<p>As the time flew by, Pete began to undergo some mutations, as is expected of all corrupt objects. He wouldn’t stop growing, getting taller and taller until eventually, he reached his peak at 10 feet tall. He never said anything on this matter but some of the other members theorized it was rather painful. His face became distorted, with wide, stretched out eyes and massive eye bags. His hair began to rot and separate, and it began curling and floating in the air. He never said anything on these matters. He stopped aging when he turned 20.</p>
<p>The whole time he stayed inside, his jobs were relegated to murder. Nothing else. Not torture, not education, not raising the new members or welcoming unsuspecting guests. Just the murders. He had quite the method to it, as he was quick and efficient, yet ruthless. His first few assignments were as disastrous as the first but he quickly grew numb to it all. The murders degraded from wild panic and fervor to quick, calculated, as painless as possible.</p>
<p>Eventually, one of the elders caught news that the last person from Pete’s old life, his mother, had finally passed away in 1946. The elders were extremely elated. Now they could finally give purpose to their little attack dog. Or rather quite large attack dog.</p>
<p>They went to inform him of this, saying that now that his silly mother was gone, he could finally go out and do some REAL work.</p>
<p>Pete said nothing on the matter.</p>
<p>They were a bit disappointed. They’d hoped for some sort of hilarious sadness from him or even excitement at getting to go outside. But there was nothing. He turned away and waited for them to continue.</p>
<p>Oh well...</p>
<p>............</p>
<p>At first, they didn’t have him go out alone. He went with some of the more experienced members to see how it was done. This had a double benefit as he made for quite the amazing intimidation. Their enemies would be absolutely IMMOBILIZED at the sight of this 10 foot tall monster.</p>
<p>After he had enough experience, he was finally allowed to go out on his own, murdering all the Family’s dissenters and enemies that were too cowardly to come to them. Most of the other members always dreamed for a job like this, it seemed fun, exciting, and a perfect opportunity to see the outside world!</p>
<p>Pete felt nothing.</p>
<p>He went through his life, his job, feeling nothing. The only emotional response they’d ever get out of him is when they’d jolt towards him aggressively. He’d flinch back every time. It was hilarious every time. He was so obedient, so it's not like they had any excuse to snap at him. This was the closest they'd ever get to unlocking that rush of fear.</p>
<p>He wordlessly went through the years, chopping down everyone in the Food Family’s path. It’s not that he couldn’t talk, he’d LONG since adjusted to his deformed mouth, he just had nothing to say or anyone to say it to. Pete saw himself as empty. Why even bother? There was no more purpose in life other than his sickening work. He had no where to go, no one to turn to, nothing to escape with. It would be a mercy to die now, but he did not deserve such a mercy. So he must keep working. Until something strikes him down. But that would never happen.</p>
<p>..........</p>
<p>Pete flipped his cleaver around in his hand as ink dropped off the blade. It was effortless, like how one might twirl a pencil in their fingers. Another job done. Not well done perhaps. But it was done. Time to go h- back to the building.</p>
<p>He cracked his neck back and forth and walked out the door, trailing footsteps of muddled ink.</p>
<p>It was the year of 2005.</p>
<p>It had been eighty years.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0023"><h2>23. Pete the Steak and the Food Gang Chapter 6: The Bonds of Friendship and Murder</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>man its late. but its alright. i'll get the others done tomorrow</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Pete ran his finger along the edge of the cleaver’s blade as he rounded the corner of the corridor. With nothing much to do at all, with a break finally on his hands after weeks of tracking down another fucking enemy, he was... not exactly grateful, but obliged at his rest. He considered how “lucky” he was that the ceilings were so high in most of the building. It would’ve been intolerable to knock his head on everything. His brain wandered as aimlessly as his body until he heard an unfamiliar voice calling his name from behind him.</p>
<p>“Hey Pete! Pete wait up, I wanna talk to you!!”</p>
<p>He turned around and saw a strange white-toned object barreling towards him. They had sharp hair, overalls, and magnetic letters attached to the chest of their shirt. It was certainly and interesting outfit, but it's not like Pete could say much with regards to his simple shirt, shorts, and apron. The object jumped up to grab at his arm and hopped excitedly around him. Pete tried to resist flinching in response.</p>
<p>“Hey Pete! It’s me Frankie! You remember me right?”</p>
<p>“....can’t say I do....”</p>
<p>The object’s face fell. “Oh come on! It’s me, Frankie the Fridge! You were at my initiation 15 years ago!”</p>
<p>“...alright.” A man of few words usually deterred this sort. But not Frankie apparently.</p>
<p>“Oh come on now Pete!” Frankie hopped around some more and swung on his arm. “You’re my IDOL!! You’re so amazing at what you do! This is so cool, to finally catch you on your off time!”</p>
<p>“Idol...” Pete weakly tried to wrest his arm away but there wasn't much effort put into it. What kind of idol was he...</p>
<p>“Yeah yeah! Idol! You’re so cool, how do you do it!”</p>
<p>"Do... what..?" He could not recall talking to someone this much in years.</p>
<p>"Your butchering! You're the absolute expert after all, people say such wonderous things about you, and they're all true!"</p>
<p>“I don’t know... it’s just my job...” And not a good one at that. </p>
<p>“Aw come on, don’t be so humble-“ Pete started walking again, unintentionally dragging Frankie with him while he was still latched to his arm like a leech. Neither of them much seemed to mind though. “H- hey why don’t you let me hang out with you? It’d be fun!”</p>
<p>"Fun."</p>
<p>"Yeah, fun! I'm rather charismatic you know."</p>
<p>That almost got a chuckle out of him. Almost. “Sure.”</p>
<p>“OH THAT’S GREAT!!” Frankie hopped some more having released the object's arm. Unfortunately, this didn't stop him from walking and Frankie was forced to dash forwards to match Pete’s gait. Still, the tall man found himself actually listening to the things this other had to say. He even said things in response. What a novel idea, having someone to talk to. A friend to talk to. </p>
<p>That was the first.</p>
<p>..................</p>
<p>“So... what did you want me for?”</p>
<p>Pete anxiously scratched at his throat as he stood in the elder’s room. They’d called him in that day for a “special surprise.” He just hoped it wasn’t too painful, but they always were. He’d really been trying his best to keep up with their wishes but it probably wasn’t enough for them. The dark, metallic, creaking room was oppressive enough as it was without the elders smiling at him excitedly.</p>
<p>“Well, we’ve been through some deep consideration, and we thought it would be a good idea for you to take on an apprentice for your butcher’s job!”</p>
<p>“I- what?”</p>
<p>Apprentice? What was the meaning of this? He'd never- he wasn't any good with- did they not like him anymore? What was their ulterior motive with this move? There always was one.</p>
<p>“Indeed. It’d be good sense to have another prepared ahead of time. You know, just in case. Besides, we thought you could use some variety...”</p>
<p>“But I don’t know who to-“ His weak protest was cut off.</p>
<p>“Oh that’s already taken care of! We have the perfect one picked out for you!” One of the elders stood up from their chair and walked into the darkness of the far corners of the room, returning with a small object girl with long green hair and a gray face. She sported gloves, a dress patterned similarly to some other members, and her leafy hair was tied up in pigtails.</p>
<p>“This is Sally. Sally the Spinach Can! She’s very eager to work with you, isn’t that right?”</p>
<p>“Mhm!” she gleefully replied.</p>
<p>“We hope you two will get along well But that is all. You can go.”</p>
<p>Pete glanced at the little girl before walking out the door.</p>
<p>...............</p>
<p>Pete and Sally hiked through the open woods as they made their way to the next target. This was Sally’s first mission outside the building and she was bursting with excitement when they first left. That excitement had soon fizzled into exhaustion as she struggled to keep up with Pete.</p>
<p>She initially didn’t want to say anything, to prove how strong and cool she was to her new mentor, but eventually, she couldn’t take it anymore.</p>
<p>“ARGH I can’t take it anymore!!” she groaned. It was not much compared to the complaints she was burying in her soul.</p>
<p>“What is it?”</p>
<p>“How am I supposed to keep up with you? You’re twice my height! I can’t even catch up while running!”</p>
<p>“If I spend all day waiting for you, we won’t get there in time.” He flashed his cleaver around again. Sally theorized that was a tic of his, since he never did it to actually intimidate anyone.</p>
<p>“Isn’t there a better option though?”</p>
<p>Pete paused for a moment, and put his finger to his mask in consideration. After a good minute had passed, a shift in his expression signified he thought of something.</p>
<p>“Well? What’s your plaAAAAAAAA-“ Pete swooped Sally into the air and placed her squarely on his shoulders.</p>
<p>“There. Now you’re as fast as me. ...Sally?”</p>
<p>She slowly peeled her eyes open and lowered her hands. The young girl's jaw dropped. “Woah, this is what it’s like being this tall?! That’s so cool!!”</p>
<p>“It’s not that cool.”</p>
<p>“Ha, speak for yourself!” She shifted herself to a more comfortable position and pointed forward, “ONWARD valiant steed!”</p>
<p>“Oh, are you in charge now? Also how do you know what a valiant steed is.”</p>
<p>“Yes, and I don’t know. Now come on, let’s go!”</p>
<p>From that point onward, that was their ideal method of transportation.</p>
<p>..........</p>
<p>It had been a year or so now since the two of them had teamed up and about two years since Pete had met Frankie. </p>
<p>Pete and Sally lounged around in their room in silence. On nights like these, it was better to just wait to fall asleep than force it. Although, Sally would something that... brought out a few memories.</p>
<p>“You know, I kinda always wondered what it was like, outside the building.”</p>
<p>“You know what it’s like. We go out there all the time for work.”</p>
<p>“Yeah but...” She rolled over onto her stomach and traced her finger on the bed. “I want to know what it’s like for people who live out there. We only ever stay out of everyone’s way, and kill whoever we come across. It’s not the same.” She pouted and sighed.</p>
<p>Pete fidgeted with his mask.</p>
<p>“I know what it’s like out there...”</p>
<p>“Ooh really? What is it??”</p>
<p>“It’s...” He took a deep, shuddering sigh that wracked his whole body. It had been so long, how could he truly remember? He could try. “It’s beautiful. It’s beautiful out there. There’s so many people, and friends, and family. And they’re nice to you. And they like you. And it’s quiet. And peaceful...”</p>
<p>“Hmm, that’s pretty funny, hehehe! I couldn't imagine something so mundane! And here I thought it would be more exciting than that.”</p>
<p>Pete clenched his mask. He wished he could make her understand. He wished she could see what it’s like out there. It’d be nice, she’d be happy out there, he was sure of it. But she doesn’t understand. She was raised here, in this awful place. She was still a stupid little 10 year old. She was impressionable, and what was imprinted on her was something very unpleasant.</p>
<p>What a shame.</p>
<p>“Hey, you know what Pete?”</p>
<p>“...what...”</p>
<p>“You’re never happy. Not like the rest of us. I don’t like it.”</p>
<p>Pete turned away from her. "I am happy when I am with you two."</p>
<p>“It's not the same. You never smile or laugh like us! You don’t even like your job! It’s not fair, you should be happy.”</p>
<p>No response. Is that really what she thought? Hmm.</p>
<p>“Well you know what?” Sally stood up and marched over to him when he didn't yield any results. “I’m gonna make you smile one day! I’m gonna make you happy like the rest of us!” A wide grin spread across her face.</p>
<p>“I appreciate the thought...” She couldn’t possibly understand why that was so wrong, to be happy like the rest of them...</p>
<p>..............</p>
<p>Sally hummed The Rats Come Out to Play to herself as she strolled down the hallways. She couldn't remember who taught her that tune, but who could give a care at a time like this? It was always so nice to get the whole month off! She’d have plenty of time to talk to her friends and play around and- CRASH</p>
<p>Sally toppled over a small object child. She whipped her head around after peeling it off the floor to see this mysterious assailant. The kid was startled, and looked to be no older than five? Huh, how'd a baby like him wander into the lower levels?</p>
<p>“Hello there,” she turned around to face him all the way, “what’s your name?”</p>
<p>“Ehhh... my names Bread Boi..." His voice was slightly incomprehensible, but it was still pretty good for such a small child. "Uh, but you can call me BB! It's easy!”</p>
<p>“You mean easier. BB huh? That’s a silly name. You’re silly.” She smiled as she pat him on the head. This person would be her next kidnap victim, she could feel it in her bones. Of course, she'd only ever done it once before but MMMMMMMshutup.</p>
<p>“Mhm, I know, but they gave me the name, so that’s what it is!” He spoke with such distinct diction.</p>
<p>“Who?”</p>
<p>“The elders!”</p>
<p>“Oh, okay!” Sally pulled him to his feet. “You’re mine now. You’re my friend okay?”</p>
<p>“Okay!” BB skipped around as him and Sally continued down the hall. Making friends was easy! All you had to do was say you were friends!</p>
<p>“Hm, do you wanna go meet my other family?”</p>
<p>“Family? Aren't we all family?"</p>
<p>”Well yeah, but these guys are double family."</p>
<p>"Okay then! Where to?"</p>
<p>“Well, lets go see Pete! He’s my dad-older brother-best friend-mentor thing, he’s really cool!”</p>
<p>“Yay!! Wait...” Bread Boi mouthed out something and counted on his fingers. "He's a DOBBFMT?" </p>
<p>Before she could affirm such a statement, the two slammed directly into two very lanky objects. Sally just was having the best of luck with crashing into her friends, as it turned out to be the Monster Can Twins!</p>
<p>“Oh hi there Tam and Pam!”</p>
<p>“Actually I’m Tam.” “And I’m Sam!” “There is no Pam!”</p>
<p>“Oops, sorry. I keep forgetting.” She jokingly pouted, but they didn't seem too troubled, as their faces didn't change at all. </p>
<p>“It’s alright!” they said in unison. “Where are you going?”</p>
<p>“Oh, I’m just taking Bread Boi here to see Pete! You wanna come?”</p>
<p>“Of course!” “We love Pete, he’s wonderful.” “I think he’s hanging out with Frankie.” “Let’s all go hang out together!”</p>
<p>The quad squad made their way to Pete and Sally’s room where they saw he was indeed talking with Frankie. Probably about boring grownup stuff considering Pete's bored expression and Frankie's intrigued face.</p>
<p>“Hey Pete! I got a new friend!” Sally lifted the surprisingly light BB and displayed him to her mentor like a collectable in a video game. Which they did not have in the Food Family.</p>
<p>“Oh. That’s very nice indeed.” Pete's bored face softened at the sight of the rest of the gang gathering in the room. Things were growing a little cramped, but he didn't mind. He'd rather be cramped than alone.</p>
<p>“D’ya think he’ll fit in?”</p>
<p>“I don't see why not. You fit in after all.”</p>
<p>"Hey!" Sally resisted the urge to retort at his teasing, and the gang slipped into their normal conversations after just a few minutes.</p>
<p>.........</p>
<p>And thus the gang was completed.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0024"><h2>24. Pete the Steak and the Food Gang Chapter 7: A New Job for Those Wackos</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>hmm i have recovered from being asleep. time to get back to work</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Pete waited outside the elder’s meeting room patiently. He knew better then to storm in there when they’d asked for him. Honestly, what kind of idiot would? He’d left his little gaggle of friends after some random subordinate came bursting into his room, out of breath and with a crazed, excited look on their face, asking for him to see the elders. And of course he obliged. He couldn't help but worry, wondering what horrid things could be in store for him. His personal theory was that they'd seen him take a liking to his friends. Perhaps they felt the need to remind him of his priorities, but they had no need to. He wasn't stupid. He knew how to balance his work and family, and he'd never allow the two to intersect in a harmful way. Although... if that meant he would be harmed in the process... he would still persevere, he decided. He'd gone through far worse things than whatever the elders could throw at him. It would be worth it to ensure the gang's happiness.</p>
<p>He continued this stream of thought, tumbling potential scenarios around in his head. It was as if he was testing himself to see if there were any instances where he might give up. But he found that there was not. It made for a comforting fantasy, one that could ease him into the meeting with the elders. After about 10 more minutes, he heard the distinct rapping on the door as the signal for him to come in. He ducked under the low door, into the tall, dark, musty cavern of a room. Part of him always wondered how this building could possibly run so deep under ground. Another, less childish part of him, said it didn't really matter after a certain point. He hazarded a glance at the table and noted that some of the elders weren’t there, as it was a rarity for them to be all in one place. Still, there were a lot more gathered than he expected, and he scratched at his throat anxiously again. It was a less noticeable tic than his cleaver twirling, so he always made an effort to "use" that one when around them. One of the elders cleared their throat and began the monologue.</p>
<p>“We’ve just received a very, VERY special commission from a nice young man. He’s asked us to send our best of the best, and most despicably brutal members!” Truthfully, the client had NOT used that wording but they knew it would get under Pete’s skin. “We honestly had no other options than you!”</p>
<p>Pete lowered his eyes to the ground. Ha... ha... It wasn't a direct punishment at least. Sounded like another lunatic using their Family as a hitman service. That wasn't exactly standard, or even fully permitted use of his... services. What was so special this time as to warrant calling him down?</p>
<p>Speaking came easier to him ever since he became friends with Frankie, but it was still a difficult task around these freaks. “Why do you need me for this?”</p>
<p>“Well,” one of the elders spoke up, “this isn’t any regular old murder we are speaking of. This man is certainly not a delusional lunatic thinking he could just make use of us like toys. He showed us his plans ahead of time, and this isn’t an attack. It’s a more like a torment. Almost akin to a re-education, but most interestingly, it’s something that will make us very VERY powerful, from what we’ve seen. He seems to hold our views, and he doesn't want anyone dead. He just wants to teach some people.” A few of the others had risen from their seats, caught up in the intrigue of it all.</p>
<p>“...oh..." Wait a minute... "Oh!” Pete almost felt his heart explode out of his chest from the sudden shot of excitement. He’d get to go outside! AND HE DIDN’T HAVE TO KILL ANYONE TO DO IT! He struggled to keep his joy hidden as he continued, “Of course. I’d... I’d be glad to take this job. For the good of the Family...” Ahaha, what a joke! This would be wonderful!</p>
<p>The elders smiled and glanced back and forth between themselves. “This will have to be a bit of a team effort however. It requires some deeply intricate cooperation. So we’ve assigned your little group of friends to go along with you. You’ll be joined by Sally the Spinach Can, Frankie the Fridge, Bread Boi, and Sam and Tam the Monster Cans. We know you work together so terribly well, and I’m sure you’ll all create the expected results.”</p>
<p>“Mhm, yes of course,” Pete absentmindedly responded as he thought about how nice it would be to go out like this. And with his real family too! This had to be some sort of elaborate joke, it was too good to be true. He was going outside with ALL of them and he wasn't murdering anyone. There was an ecstasy flowing in his veins and he found himself stumbling around for a moment. Ahaha, AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! What was this?! This wasn't real this wasn't real. One of the elders frowned at his gleeful body language and snapped their fingers, causing Pete to flinch back and cover his head before standing at attention. They laughed. What a moron. It was so nice to have this monster under complete control. </p>
<p>“Well, you’ll meet your client outside the front exit tomorrow morning. You’re dismissed.”</p>
<p>Pete found it hard to get downtrodden by the snap with such exciting news on the horizon. It didn't take long for the instinctual panic to wear off and be washed away by the flood of joy in his soul. He quickly exited the room and almost tripped over Sally in his haste down the hall, who’d evidently come to see what was taking him so long.</p>
<p>“Oh there you are! So what’s the deal with-“ He immediately scooped her up and placed her on his shoulders, dashing down the hall. “Hehe! We got a new job! We get to go outside! We don’t have to kill anyone to do it! We’ll be seeing new things, oh this is WONDERFUL!!” Sally squeaked, trying to hold on as he soared through the building. Noticing this, he ground to a halt and let her readjust.</p>
<p>“N- new job you say? No killing? That doesn’t sound any fun...” She ruffled her mussed up hair until it fell back into place.</p>
<p>“Oh but it will be!” he said, barely able to contain his excitement, “You’ll see, oh you’ll finally see! You'll finally understand. We’re going tomorrow morning! We’ve got to tell the others!”</p>
<p>“The others?”</p>
<p>“Oh yes yes, the others are coming with us! It’s a group effort.” He fidgeted excitedly. Sally was slightly taken aback by his uncharacteristic energy. Even at the best of times, she'd never heard this much emotion in his voice or this much active movement. But she was still glad to see him... not completely depressed. With any luck, she’d get a full laugh out of him during this job, and her quest to make him happy would be complete! And so she joined in on the excitement, bouncing up and down in anticipation as they strode down the halls.</p>
<p>..............</p>
<p>The next morning, the gang was gathered in front of the client outside the building. This... wasn’t exactly what they expected.</p>
<p>He was an... extremely tall man, for a human at least, and he had extremely stringy blue hair. His face was distorted and malformed, and all he seemed to wear was brown overalls. Either the elders had lied about him being a nice "young" man, or they were just so old that something like him qualified as young. The way they'd described him gave Pete the idea that he was at least well kept together, but in hindsight, he'd only been stated as not delusional. Hmm. The man waited outside of an old dinky blue car and stared at them while breathing heavily. The Monster Can twins hid behind Pete, and he could feel Sally tightening her grip around his head. Frankie also took a step back at the sight of him, tightening his grip on BB. An uncomfortable silence hung in the air.</p>
<p>“Well....” the man began, “I am Roy. Get in the car. We’ll discuss matters on the way to my house.”</p>
<p>Pete mentally scolded himself for having such childish fantasies of meeting some well kempt, if not a little bloodthirsty man and just getting to do a little torture while getting a close look at the outside world. Regardless, he still had some hope. Things could still be interesting, happy even, and with any luck, the torture would take up the smallest percentage of their visit. </p>
<p>The car ride was cramped and tense.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0025"><h2>25. Pete the Steak and the Food Gang Chapter 8: Dress Rehearsal</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>get it. re-hearse-al. </p>
<p>i think i'm gonna perish</p>
<p>huh, i thought i wrote out the car ride but i guess i didn't which is fine, it's not that important. but if i knew then i would've been a little more detailed last chapter but oh well.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Sally almost instantly grabbed BB and took to exploring the house inside this strange new place. The car ride to that strange man's house had taken ages and when the gang arrived, they couldn't help but be disappointed. Well, that was being generous, it was more like they wanted to turn tail and bolt. But things were certainly not what they appeared with this man and it didn't take long to quell their nerves. The two children tore up every nook and cranny and examined every last speck to learn about what this place was like. Everything was so colorful, so bright, all the textures were wildly different from inside the building. Softer than any metal in there. This was their chance to learn about the world without anyone looking over their shoulder, and they were gonna take it, much to the glee of Pete.</p>
<p>Speaking of which, he’d found it very fascinating how this strange client of theirs' was able to create an entire world inside of a machine, let alone a world that could be warped and manipulated to a user's desire. He knew he’d been in the Food Family, away from society for exactly 90 years now, but he couldn’t have imagined technology would improve THIS much while he was away. His little kid self would have been.... ah, who cares about him. It didn't matter what he thought. </p>
<p>Roy had given the gang a strange “base script” for them to all work with. Apparently, they were going to torment his two children. Pete had felt a knot in his stomach when he’d heard this over the car ride, but you should always prepare for the unexpected... and it was still better than having to murder them...</p>
<p>The script itself seemed purely demented out of context, and quite frankly, even in the context of tormenting and warping reality, it still was what one would gently call “off-kilter.” Roy had promised them that they’d each get their own specialized roles after he talked with them, so it seemed there’d be a little more to it than simply performing the song and dance.</p>
<p>Roy interviewed all the other members of the Food Gang before Pete. As he waited his turn, he looked around at what he was doing at this point in his life. It certainly wasn’t what he’d expected to be doing when he was 100 years old. He... didn’t think he’d LIVE to be 100. He didn’t think he’d be watching his f- his friends, who were all misguided, unsettling, freakish murderers, play around in a house that didn’t exist, while he waited to learn what is job was involving tormenting two human children.</p>
<p>'Where did your life go so wrong.'</p>
<p>The twins walked into the room missing their characteristic unfaltering smile.</p>
<p>“Hmm? What’s wrong you two? You look like sourdough bread,” questioned Frankie. BB shot him a quick pout at that.</p>
<p>“Roy gave us a special job. We’re not supposed to tell you about it,” they replied in monotony. Retreating to a pair of chairs, they shot each other the rare nuanced glance and stared out the window into the distance.</p>
<p>Pete shrugged as he brushed non-existent dust off his apron and walked into the other room. He took one last moment to glance at Sally and BB, who were staring in awe at a book Sally was trying to read. They were a little behind in terms of education but they were still trying. It would’ve been cute... in any other circumstance.</p>
<p>............</p>
<p>“You don’t have a special job,” Roy stated flatly right as Pete crouched into his tiny seat. “You’ll follow the script as is. That’ll be all.”</p>
<p>“Oh.”</p>
<p>Roy stared at him with glazed over eyes, breathing heavily. Pete had to wonder if he had some sort of respiratory malfunction. </p>
<p>“Is there... is there any particular reason? For why I don’t get one.”</p>
<p>“No.”</p>
<p>"Why did you call me in here..?"</p>
<p>The human's face twitched ever so slightly, in what Pete could only assume was irritation. But he didn't say anything. </p>
<p>“Well,” Pete’s voice lowered to a grovel, “thank you for wasting my time.” He snatched up his script and turned to leave. Which was when Roy decided to interrupt, of course.00</p>
<p>“Make sure you all practice in one of the spare houses. I’ll need to talk with my... Two kids.”</p>
<p>“Of course... Thank you oh so much for the imperative information.” He didn't necessarily have a reason to, but he was beginning to like the man less and less. Then again, his instincts had never helped him much before. Pete rolled his eyes shook off the strange emotion resting on his shoulders. After gathering up the gang, they were informed that they had two days to get everything perfect. As they crossed the street to one of the uninhabited houses, Pete fantasized about what might happen after it was all over. They’d do their job well, and when they came back home, they’d probably get great rewards from the elders, such as not having to murder for a really long ti- agh, that’s a really pathetic reward actually. Still, it would be something. The tall object was so distracted that he nearly slammed right into the wall. </p>
<p>.................</p>
<p>Well. This was going swimmingly.</p>
<p>“Why’re you two just sitting over there staring at nothing?!”</p>
<p>“Oh, for the last time, WE DON’T HAVE ANY LINES!”</p>
<p>“Ah, you two don’t have to do jack, why’d I have to get saddled with these awkward rhymes that don’t sound right?”</p>
<p>“They’d sound right if you’d actually SING!!”</p>
<p>“I don’t WANT to!”</p>
<p>“Oh you’re complaining about that! Pete and I practically have to carry this whole song!”</p>
<p>“How do you say this word?”</p>
<p>“This is exactly why you’re on drums, not lyrics! And for the record, it’s pronounced fish, not feesh.”</p>
<p>"Oh that's how it's spelled."</p>
<p>"UUUUUUggggggghhhh why can't you reeeeeeeaaaaaad."</p>
<p>Pete sighed as he watched the others bicker excitedly at each other over the script. As painful as it was to watch, the squabbles were also rather hilarious and he couldn’t help but smile. Actually he could help it. It hurt too much to smile for long periods of time thanks to the re-education. It would tug on the exposed sinew and if he smiled too wide or too much, it might break the skin open again. But whatever. He was smiling on the inside. That counted, right?</p>
<p>Actually, despite the petty arguments, the gang seemed to be having fun. For all their yelling, he could still hear them holding back laughter at the ridiculousness of it all. It was so genuine and unlike anything he'd seen from them outside of small glimpses during the rare times they were all together. Their normal smiles were wide and shining, but simultaneously devoid of any true emotion. They were too perfect, too unpleasant. Now he could see the creases in their face and the light in their eyes. This was so stupid that you could not help but smile. It was like a child was instructing them all. This whole scenario was utterly absurd and just thinking about it made him chuckle internally.</p>
<p>Wait a minute, why was everyone staring at him?</p>
<p>“Oh. My. Gosh.” Sally’s face broke into the widest smile he ever saw as she hurtled herself towards him. He instinctively flinched back as she started hopping up and down.</p>
<p>“YOU DID IT YOU DID IT I KNEW YOU COULD!!!”</p>
<p>“D- did what?!”</p>
<p>“YOU LAUGHED!!!!!!”</p>
<p>Pete froze for a moment, shocked that he actually laughed externally, before he chuckled again, causing Sally to almost fall backwards in shock off the couch he was sitting on. She started squealing, and turned to the others. “See!! I told you it would happen, I TOLD you!”</p>
<p>Frankie sighed and placed his hands on his hips. “I guess I owe you £5 when we get home.”</p>
<p>Pete watched in silence as the gang bustled about and talked with one another, growing exponentially distracted and off topic. Wait, was he really so miserable that they were betting on whether or not he was capable of laughing? He'd have to rectify that when they got back. He truly was happy around them, so he needed to make sure they knew it. His thoughts were soon pierced by someone behind him clearing their throat, and he stood up to face a very disgruntled looking Roy.</p>
<p>“You know. My LAST employee could memorize his script perfectly.” He clenched and unclenched his fists rhythmically.</p>
<p>Pete had to hold back another snicker. It was almost too funny seeing this tiny man get so angry about something as moronic as this.</p>
<p>“I can assure you, we’ll get this done just fine,” Pete growled, eager to bother this silly human. “Why don’t you run back home to your kids? I’m sure they’re DYING to see your oh so welcoming face.” No one could see it, but behind the mask he was smirking as well as he physically could. Roy was an utter joke in his eyes, and the only reason he found himself tolerating him as time went on was the fact that this was their job. He may have been ever so slightly frightened at first, but that had soon dissipated. </p>
<p>Roy simply turned around and walked out the room. </p>
<p>He muttered to himself, “Oh we’ll see who’s dying soon.” Hmmph. A dad joke. What a rarity.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0026"><h2>26. Pete the Steak and the Food Gang Chapter 9: DHMIS 5</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>mmrmph. my limbs are heavy~</p>
<p>anywhomstdve, lets get on with it. shall we?</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Everyone was in their places for the little show. This should be... well not exactly fun, not for Pete, but at least interesting. He would try his best to keep his energy up for the song. The others wouldn’t have any trouble at all.</p>
<p>A little boy whined nervously as he brought his younger brother into the room. He couldn’t see them, but they had certainly arrived.</p>
<p>Pete didn’t hear what they were saying, he was too focused running over the lines in his head. All he caught was “missing.”</p>
<p>.......</p>
<p>Bread Boi started rattling away on his makeshift drums, aimlessly listing off foods and such. The other two kids looked at him funny but he didn’t notice for a moment. When he did see their eyes boring into his skull, he nervously slowed to a halt before dropping his spoon drumsticks. Had he gone too early? Why were they looking so weird? Mr. Roy said the kids would go along with it... But they were just... glaring at him. </p>
<p>Sally swung open the cupboard door she was hiding in and burst into slightly out of tune singing.</p>
<p>“Are you hungry? You look to be a bit hungry!”</p>
<p>“No.”</p>
<p>Uh... what do you do if he doesn’t comply? Improv time- “Doo do Doo doo, lots of people get hungry..?”</p>
<p>Pete awkwardly swooped in to get back on script. “That’s your body! Hungry comes from your body!”</p>
<p>“Get off me!”</p>
<p>“But your body-” jeez, this kid was irritating already- “it must-a hafta be healthy!”</p>
<p>Okay this was going well. The song continued for a little bit and it was TIME for the tap dance! Pete didn’t actually KNOW how to tap dance so he kinda just... fiddled around awkwardly until “LET’S GET HEALTHY NOW-“</p>
<p>And then the phone rang.</p>
<p>Everyone stared at it, the ringing piercing through the nervous silence. The older kid hopped out of his seat and walked over at a painstakingly slow pace. No one was quite sure what to do; was that phone even there before? No, certainly not. The kid’s hand wavered as he picked up the receiver.</p>
<p>“Hello?”</p>
<p>...............</p>
<p>Pete, Sally, and the two kids stood in front of a toy house that they were supposed to use as a diagram. It felt as if they’d always been there, they hadn’t walked over to it that’s for sure. One moment they were looking at the phone and the next they were here! Pete was sure HE hadn’t warped it, so maybe it was Sally just trying to quick fix. Oh, he was still talking. Odd. He hadn't meant to.</p>
<p>“-what’s right from wrong. See the body is like a special house, with hair, teeth, and Organs in the different rooms! Oh look, there’s Mr. Bladder in the basement, haha...” God what a load of garbage. He remembered this all too well. All he COULD do is awkwardly laugh it off.</p>
<p>The education continued a little longer until the same kid ONCE AGAIN interrupted, “That doesn’t make sense-“</p>
<p>“Doo do da doo doo!” Sally side-eyed Pete to play along and shut him up as they sang over the kid again. Damn him and his annoying voice and his dumb green hair.</p>
<p>The phone rang again.</p>
<p>Dammit dammit dammit</p>
<p>“Hello?”</p>
<p>“WHAT’S THAT?! A tasty snack, you don’t wanna go and eat a snack like that!”</p>
<p>Come on just keep it rolling. Come on, COME ON STOP INTERRUPTING THIS IS HARD ENOUGH AS IT IS! DON’T YOU WANT IT TO BE OVER FAST? DON'T YOU HATE IT? YOU SHOULD HATE IT. I hated it, I prolonged it, I was stupid, why are you stupid, why are you making things harder for yourself, this would be so much faster if you just let us finish quickly and STOP INTERRUPTI-</p>
<p>“Oh no look it’s all broken and on the floor,” he smiled. He'd stepped on the diagram a little too hard. Something was oozing out of it...</p>
<p>“Everything tastes great!” Frankie waltzed in through the open door, “But maybe we should wait-“ “No!” “-before we put it on our plate-“ “Enough!!!” He was screaming so LOUD! Didn't he just want to give up? He should have just given up!</p>
<p>Frankie walked forward to grab the kid and shut him up, “Or it could be too late-“</p>
<p>The kid’s face shifted from one of frustration and terror to one of unrestrained rage. He shrieked “I CAN’T DO THIS ANYMORE!”, lashed out, and punched Frankie in the jaw, falling backwards and-</p>
<p>The world went dark before he even reached the floor.</p>
<p>..............</p>
<p>Things continued as normal. The warps didn’t even need to happen much. The younger kid seemed to play along much better, so the warps could wait till later. He knew better. He knew to get it over with.</p>
<p>“How about a pizza slice, bread and cheese taste so nice!” the kid smiled.</p>
<p>“Oh what’s that, a pizza slice? But you’re better off with plain white sauce!”</p>
<p>Where was BB? Had he wandered off set? That wouldn't be too bad, he didn't have any lines left anyways.</p>
<p>“What’s that, plain white sauce? Plain white sauce makes your teeth go gray!”</p>
<p>“Doesn’t matter, just throw it away!” Frankie casually frizbee’d a plate into the wall, “Why not try something else on your tray?”</p>
<p>Hopefully Roy wouldn't be mad at that silly child for leaving early. What were the twins up to... He could not help but wonder.</p>
<p>“Ooh what's that, a lovely pie? But you’re gonna end up sad inside.” Ahaha, that hit too close to home. Would Roy make his kids follow the Healthy Diet? He hoped not. It had the worst side effects on the few humans that lived with them. But Roy was a fool. He did not put it past that man to try.</p>
<p>“Ugh! Sad inside, you’re gonna make me sick BLEGH!!”</p>
<p>...........</p>
<p>Nnn, everything was getting a little dizzy. A lot dizzy. His head was twirling around in circles. Were the walls always like that? It felt as if they were melting, dripping to the floor but they were not they were not. Why was the door closed? He was locked in here surely. It didn’t feel like the words he was saying were coming out of his mouth. Well... they were, but it felt incongruent. He knew he was saying them but it was more like he couldn't stop the flow anymore. He felt like his head was about to fall off, it would just keep spinning until it dislodged from his neck. The room was really... steamy? Humid? Sweltering!? Where’d all that red smoke come from? Wh- hey wait, where’d his mask go? Did he rip it off? Why would he ever do that?! HE NEEDED IT BACK! Why was he still talking, what was he even saying? He couldn't hear it why couldn't he hear it- Come on, focus what was he-</p>
<p>“-plate, strangers plate, strangers plate, strangers plate, strangers plate, strangers plate, strangers plate, strangers plate, strangers plate, strangers plate, strangers pl-“</p>
<p>No no no no no no no There a loud screech ricocheted around the room inside his head, like the world’s largest nail being pulled across the oldest chalkboard.</p>
<p>............</p>
<p>The food gang woke up in another room in the house. It was quiet but not calm. The rain was pouring. Pete shot out of his seat out of panic before sitting back down again.</p>
<p>It was... over... The torment was over with. The worst part was over with. That was not what he'd signed up for. But it was not outside of his contract either. It didn't matter if the last third of the session felt like a wild fever dream, because it was over with. He’d never done drugs before but that had to be the closest you can get right? Hell on earth... what was that... Did he want to know..? His instinctively pulled his hand to his face and found his mask still missing. For a moment, his heart leapt up into his throat until he saw it lying on the window sill. </p>
<p>Pete the Steak snatched up his mask and hastily tied it back on to his face. His eyes adjusted to the light from outside the window and he watched the rain pour down, half flooding the road. Even in these grey days, the sky was still harsh in its brilliance. He couldn't help but turn his attention to the street instead. The street... THE STREET!? A thick, concentrated stream of blood tumbled through the waves of rain, running down the side of the cement and into the gutter.</p>
<p>Well... that can’t be good-</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0027"><h2>27. Pete the Steak Finale: Now That's What I Call Disturbing Content</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>you read the heccing title, you know what you're in for! but this isn't your average everyday murder. this is. ADVANCED MURDER.</p>
<p>this is where some of the more upsetting tags apply.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Bread Boi wandered through the halls of the house. It was dark, with all the lights turned off except in the kitchen he’d left behind. The five year old was anxious in the dark but he still preferred it to what he’d seen in the kitchen. At least the darkness was warm. The others were supposed to be warm too, but they weren't acting right. He ran his hand along the wall while trailing his way through the house, his head down. He noticed the soft, carpeted floor. It was nice. Just pleasant quiet as the sounds of song grew distant. </p>
<p>The pictures on the wall were sort of scary. They were mostly of people but there were a few that looked like windows, but weren’t. The fake windows looked uncomfortably realistic, and BB tried to not look at them. It just made him feel more disoriented. The portraits were unsettling. The people’s faces looked sad and droopy, and their eyes were filled with black goo. He could’ve sworn they didn’t look like that when the lights were on. But perhaps he was just too tired or distracted to notice before. It had been a very long car ride and a very exciting day.</p>
<p>BB rounded the corner and spotted a large metal door. It was tucked away behind one of the smaller halls but it wasn’t all too far from the living room they’d been in when they first arrived. He was surprised he hadn’t noticed it before. BB swung his head around to make sure no one was looking before heading in. He had the feeling he wasn’t supposed to be there, but curiosity got the best of him. </p>
<p>The door was very heavy, but he managed to pull it open after a short struggle. Maybe that was the first warning sign, that it had been slightly too easy. The moment he stepped foot in however, it slammed behind him and he heard a latch click. BB swallowed nervously and took in his surroundings.</p>
<p>The floor was a checkered black and white pattern of tiles. It was very very dark, save for a single bright light shining on a weird looking machine. BB heard it humming and pulsating. It felt... alive.</p>
<p>BB inched towards it and laid his hand on the side of the machine. It was warm and beat rhythmically, like a very slow heart. He recoiled after a palpitation occurred and sidled away from it. But as he did so, he slammed into a pair of legs. He whipped his head around to see Mr. Roy.</p>
<p>“Oh! Uh.. sorry. I- I don’t think I’m s’posed to be here... I got lost. I can go now, i- if you could open the door please.” BB shuffled his feet around and held his hands behind his back. He made sure to be in a slight bow, like the Family said was polite. "It- it was really heavy, so..."</p>
<p>Roy smiled and hushed the small child. His grin appeared strangely warm, although not at all welcoming.</p>
<p>“No no. You’re exactly where I want you to be...”</p>
<p>Roy pulled a long screwdriver out of his pocket.</p>
<p>......................</p>
<p>“Oh... so that’s what your job was...”</p>
<p>Pete sighed and placed his head in his hands. He didn’t know what he expected. OF COURSE there was a catch. Of course he couldn’t just leave without having to kill anyone. What a silly idea he’d had. A fantasy he deluded himself into believing. He’d never get out of this stupid cycle, would he? Never.</p>
<p>Tam and Sam fidgeted with their collars before continuing. “We’re sorry we couldn’t tell you,” said Tam. “But hey, at least YOU weren’t the one that killed the kid, right?” finished Sam.</p>
<p>“That's- that’s not the point. I just wanted a break you know? I didn't want our visit to the outside tainted like this.”</p>
<p>“We’re sorry...” Their faces fell slightly.</p>
<p>“No. It is not your fault. I should have seen this coming.” Pete stood up and cracked his neck. “At least it’s over right? Now we can go home and it’ll all be over with. Why don’t you go find Roy or BB? We can’t leave without them.” Earlier, he would have been eager to linger around at let the others get their fill of normalcy, but now he simply wanted to get it all done, as selfish as that felt.</p>
<p>The twins nodded and walked out the room. Pete fell back onto the couch and glanced at Sally and Frankie.</p>
<p>We can go home he said...</p>
<p>Home...</p>
<p>It wasn’t home...</p>
<p>He’d never get to go home...</p>
<p>........................</p>
<p>Sally tilted herself back and forth while balancing on her toes. She and Pete were still waiting. The twins hadn’t returned. Neither had Frankie... She edged closer to her older brother as she felt a chill run through her inky skin. Something wasn’t right.</p>
<p>“Uh, how about I go look for them?”</p>
<p>Pete considered for a moment. Sally was disturbed by the look of worry on his face. She knew he cared, but she had never seen him look this stressed.</p>
<p>“Yes. That’s... go ahead.”</p>
<p>Sally hopped off the couch but Pete quickly grabbed her arm before she could leave. His eyes were flitting all over the place and his body was shaking.</p>
<p>“Be careful. Please.”</p>
<p>“Uh okay. How come?”</p>
<p>“I have a horrible feeling about this. Don’t get hurt, please...”</p>
<p>“Hmm, okay!” Sally put on her classic unsettlingly wide smile to cheer him up. “Everything’ll be fine! I’ll be right back!”</p>
<p>Sally strutted out the room and wandered around the halls, calling her teammates names. She wondered how many times she could say them until they felt like foreign entities. After... ten straight minutes of this, her voice began to grow hoarse. Ah, maybe she should go back the way she came and try to take a different route. How large was this house anyway? There was no reason for her to still be seeing new rooms and corridors this far into her exploration. She turned around to go back down the hall and slammed right into the wall. A dead end? But... that was the way she came...</p>
<p>Sally rubbed her face after the impact and pushed herself to her feet. A part of her wanted to whine and cry in frustration, but that wouldn't help matters at all. Oh, she did so terribly wish that man hadn’t come to the Food Family. This was too much effort, no matter what the reward was. With her friends' luck, they probably wouldn't even get anything out of this! She rubbed her eyes again as she turned around and spotted a large metal door straight down the hall. It was directly opposite to her down the hall, how had she not seen it before? Sally sprinted across the soft green carpet and slammed into the door. She was just not having the best of luck today.</p>
<p>The 11 year old heaved trudged up to the entrance and opened the door, shutting it behind her to be polite. She almost immediately regretted that decision though, as she was struck with a horribly pungent stench. It was near pitch black in there. She took a step forward and felt her foot sink into a thick liquid. Reaching down to touch it, the liquid quickly seeped into her glove. It smelled... familiar. She’d smelled this dozens of times before at... work... </p>
<p>It was ink. Object blood... </p>
<p>Sally threw herself against the wall in terror, and felt around in the dark for the door. Her hand clasped it’s way around a light switch and in her panic she pulled it. A blaring white glow flooded the room for a moment before retreating to the center and she caught a glimpse in the now dimly lit room of her teammates hollow corpses.</p>
<p>For a moment, everything in the world screeched to a halt. She could feel the sensation of absorbing every gruesome detail of the image in front of her. Their bodies twisted and writhed infinitely and forever still.</p>
<p>Sally could not bring herself to scream, she simply froze even as time moved again. Approaching footsteps preceded Roy dragging himself towards her. He was splattered with the dark liquid but his empty expression remained. His eyes pierced her soul. The man's motions were beyond robotic, and had devolved into nothing more than a husk being controlled by strings. </p>
<p>Then he started talking.</p>
<p>“You know little girl, I was going to kill you like the rest of them." He loosely gestured to the others lying still on the ground. "But it would be more effective if I did this the hard way.” Roy lifted his hand slightly and the image of a baseball bat wavered in the air, as if it were underwater, before spawning into existence. “Hopefully that will make killing him easier.”</p>
<p>She may be young, but she saw right through his tactics. He was going to kill her in a horrific manner in the hopes that her big brother would be so shocked that he'd be easy prey. But Pete was strong. Even if Roy did kill her, she knew he could avenge them all with ease. Regardless, her survival would still be ideal. “Ha. Ha... I’m sorry Mr. Roy sir, but I promised my dad I’d stay safe, so I’ll have to decline your offer to bash in my skull, if that’s quite alright with you.” Her eyes sharpened into a glare while still retaining the smile.</p>
<p>Sally spotted the door out of the corner of her eye and jolted forward. She ran past Roy, knocking his legs out from under him as she sprinted by and hopped over the splotches of ink coating the ground that would impede her progress. Unfortunately, Roy was simply too tall, and he outpaced her moments before she reached the door even with her head start. She felt a great cacophony of pain in her ribs as she slid to the floor from the impact. She desperately tried to shove herself to her feet, but those fleeting moments were not enough; she saw a shadow over her, and that was the last of it. Roy lifted the bat above his head and slammed it into her skull over and over again until it caved in. Sally’s corpse was splayed across the ground and her eyes were permanently wide open.</p>
<p>...............................</p>
<p>Pete waited in the room alone. He didn’t like being alone ever since he got his first friend in the Family. It let him think too much.</p>
<p>He really was stuck like this, wasn’t he? He’d never get to leave the Food Family, or even get a different job from them. He couldn’t just die of old age, his stupid corruption had left him ageless for decades. Even if he could leave, did he deserve it? After everything he’d done, after all he’d gone through... did he even deserve to get a happy ending? Maybe even death was too good for him.</p>
<p>Well, at least he had his friends. Before them, he’d been hollow and empty and cold. Practically an automaton. He didn’t feel anything except guilt and regret in those days. At least now he had a reason to stick around. At least now he had a REAL food family.</p>
<p>Pete’s thoughts returned to that green-haired kid. His corpse was out there in the rain; his blood was draining into the sewers. The object's missions entailed getting rid of enemies. None of them had ever been children before. Welp, there’s another new low, he thought sarcastically to himself.</p>
<p>Where was everyone?</p>
<p>Pete stood up, he couldn’t wait any longer. He’d lost his cleaver somewhere around the kitchen so he didn’t have any weapons, but that was okay. He could tank anything thrown at him.</p>
<p>He awkwardly made his way through the house, having to bend down to even fit in the tiny halls. He wished his corruption hadn’t involved growing to such a monstrous height, it was such a horrible inconvenience, along with a daily reminder of things he’d rather not think about.</p>
<p>He spotted a large metal door that IMMEDIATELY drew suspicion because it was just the right size for him.... No door in a normal human’s house had any reason to be over 10 feet tall. Then again, he had trouble believing Roy was a normal human. Considering the absolute nightmare fuel he'd just gone through, it wouldn't surprise him if Roy's house frequented people like him. </p>
<p>He smelled a horribly familiar stench exuding from behind the door and slowly clasped the handle, easing it open. He stepped inside, and thankfully, it didn’t shut behind him. White light from the rest of the house streamed into the pitch black of the room, casting his tall shadow over the corpses of his family.</p>
<p>Their corpses were scattered all over the floor’s room and ink was splattered everywhere, almost like a painting from a nightmare. The twins were leaned against each other in the corner, Frankie had a gaping wound in his neck and BB was crumpled next to a large machine in the center. Sally’s corpse was right in front of him, with ink still streaming out of her skull.</p>
<p>It was utterly unreal. </p>
<p>Pete felt a horrible wave of fear spread out from his chest through the tips of his fingers; he swayed slightly before collapsing onto his knees. His head pounded and pulsated with raw emotion that threatened to spill out from every hole in his skull. The wave of fear quickly replaced itself with dread and anguish as he shakily grabbed Sally's body. She was so... limp in his arms as he pulled her in close.</p>
<p>He couldn’t cry. He SHOULDN’T cry. He didn’t deserve to mourn after all he’d done! This wasn't right, he was being selfish, how dare he try to mourn after all this?!</p>
<p>But people cannot help their emotions, now can they.</p>
<p>He was shivering horrendously.</p>
<p>He wished he hadn’t left his home.</p>
<p>.......</p>
<p>.....</p>
<p>...</p>
<p>Roy stepped out from behind the machine, screwdriver in hand. This was perfect. That giant moron was too busy crying to see him coming. He flipped it around in his hand as he inched closer to him.</p>
<p>Pete looked up at the sound of his footsteps and slowly placed Sally back on the ground. He stepped forward to face Roy with a terrifying glare boring into Roy’s skull. They both waited for a moment. He couldn't help but laugh internally at the object's reddened eyes and the tremors running through his body. He had to give him credit where credit was due though, the man was holding himself together better than he'd hypothesized. The deafening silence continued for a moment too long.</p>
<p>Pete lunged towards Roy and lifted him into the air by his neck, keeping him a good few feet off the ground. Roy struggled for a moment before jabbing his screwdriver into Pete’s hand causing him to loosen his grip for just a moment. Roy broke free and dropped to the ground, shocked at how close that call was. Taking his opportunity while the enemy was still staggering, he plunged the screwdriver straight into Pete’s chest. He instantly shoved Roy backwards and jolted the screwdriver out of himself. The freak stared at it for a moment, seemingly unfazed by what should have been a fatal blow.</p>
<p>Roy for the first time in a very very long while, felt fear. Pete held the screwdriver and the stab wound wasn’t killing him; it barely even HINDERED him! He stood over Roy, only slightly wavering to indicate any pain. Ugh, of course something like THAT wouldn’t kill him that easily. He KNEW better than to underestimate corrupted objects, and now thanks to his eagerness, all of his hard work was going to be for NOTHING. He mentally prepared himself to run out of there as fast as possible the moment Pete made a move.</p>
<p>But he didn’t make a move. Pete took a long look at the screwdriver, turning it around as if to take in every angle of it. He then glanced around the room for another moment, his eyes glazing over. Finally, he turned his head to look at Sally one last time.</p>
<p>Pete flipped the screwdriver over and jabbed it right back into his chest! Then he did it again, and again! Over and over and over, he stabbed like he'd stabbed on that first day, but it wasn’t enough. This hurt but it wasn't enough it would never be enough! No, he wasn’t dying fast enough for his own tastes. He lifted the screwdriver and rammed it into his neck, tearing it out again. The gaping hole in his throat widened as he continued to slam the blade against it in a wild frenzy. He began to hack up ink and it pooled into his mask. He instinctively ripped it off his face and the ink spattered on the ground as he continued to cough it up. Everything in his body was screaming in agony but it wasn't enough! Even as he collapsed to his knees it wasn't enough. It was painful, but not fast, there was no guarantee he would die from this. He shot one more glare of seething hatred and sadness at Roy before lifting the screwdriver and STABBING it right into his skull. For the final time that day, everything in the world fell still. Then, Pete pulled out the screwdriver and collapsed on the ground.</p>
<p>Roy stared in silence for a moment as Pete’s corpse bled all over the floor. There was so much pitch black ink pooling out across the tiles. Then he started laughing. It started as a small chuckle but he soon found he couldn’t contain his jubilation. WHAT AN IDIOT!!! That moron could have ended it then and there but he decided to pull THAT little stunt! Oh it was TOO FUNNY. It was such a good idea that he went with this order, if he’d tried to kill Pete first, he would’ve been completely screwed! (Pun intended) He pushed himself to his feet and began dragging the Food Gang’s corpses towards the machine. Oh joyous day inDEED! </p>
<p>Roy let out a sigh of satisfaction. He was rather pleased with how many nuisances died today.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0028"><h2>28. Shrignold the Butterfly Chapter 1: Awaken My Angel</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>shibbidy shoo, it's time to do</p>
<p>shrignold's chapters</p>
<p>i dunno what the pace i'll work at now that it's christmas break but if i can get one section done per day that would be great. really really great.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It was a normal average day like any other in 2009. The birds were singing, the flowers were blooming, and this wasn’t an Undertale reference. Everything was perfectly calm, quiet, and content.</p>
<p>Except for the rampaging rambunctious hyperactive corrupted object storming through the woods.</p>
<p>Yes siree, a very old one too, seeing as it had powers. You see, the longer one is corrupted, the higher chance they have to develop some sort of superpower. Well... perhaps superpower isn't quite the right term, but it is certainly a very special ability. This looked to be a pencil or pen object, and coincidentally, they had powers of creation. They just went tumbling along, giving life to everything in its path at random, although it didn’t last very long. Maybe a tree would sprout eyes for a moment as they passed, or perhaps you could hear the frogs speaking. At least I, the narrator, could. But as soon as they would leave, the forest would return to tranquility. They didn't much seem to mind or care that they were throwing their life giving powers around all willy-nilly, but they had to be corrupted somehow. Maybe it was because of their blatant disregard for consequences.</p>
<p>The object continued their merry jaunt through the miscellaneous forest until this disastrous little creature tripped on a semi-noticeable rock and tumbled down a hill, face planting on a patch of grass. They quickly got up and went along their merry way but their prolonged presence had already left a permanent impact upon the local wildlife.</p>
<p>The flora and fauna of that little patch of grass began to morph and stretch into a more humanoid form. Bones and skin and hair that all resembled its natural appearance began to sprout where there was none and a ear-piercing crackle could be heard for a couple dozen meters away. Something as small as a flower launched 5 or more feet into the air before uprooting itself with leaves that were slowly twisting into the shape of hands and arms. The wings of the butterfly began to twist and fold over into itself, forming long sleeves around teal-ish arms that didn’t use to be there. Not even a minute later, there was a small gaggle of extremely confused looking humanoid animals and flowers sitting in that patch of grass. </p>
<p>Well, I should probably be slightly more specific. There were two flowers, a bunny, and a butterfly. They were not quite human and not quite object. They did not have the natural hair and skin of humans, nor the inky limbs of objects. They were simply something completely new. The two flowers, blue and purple, had their petally hair tied back in a ponytail, with yellow and green skin and clothes seemingly formed of more plant matter. The rabbit had blue fur and ears sprouting from the top of its head, with a puffy, fluffy dress draped over it. The butterfly, meanwhile, had shiny black hair and clothes, with yellow sleeves and shorts, and antennae sprouting out of the top of its head. </p>
<p>The butterfly was the tallest, so some instinct popped into the others saying that they should group around it. The butterfly used their shorter friends to prop itself up and stand. It's not like it had ever been a biped before, or even had an endoskeleton. This was a strange position to be in for sure, but after a few moments of wobbling and wiggling, it caught its balance on the top of its companions' heads and began attempting to walk. </p>
<p>The other friends took after the butterfly, taking great interest in its strange perambulating. They attempted to stand as well and trailed after the butterfly. The flowers needed a bit more assistance, which made sense considering that they had never even really moved on their own before, but the bunny was eager to help. After all, it had the most experience with walking like this. Time seemed to move so much faster for them all, now that they were of human size. It was clumsy, enormous existence, but they could perhaps grow accustomed to it. After gathering their wits, the group of strange creatures began to traverse the woods.</p>
<p>Unfortunately, another party heard the sounds of their transformation from far away. This would prove rather fatal for them. </p>
<p>...........</p>
<p>The man in the mole suit, helpfully nicknamed Moleman by his friends, was out scouting around the outskirts of his king’s land. Well, to be truthful, he wasn’t REALLY a king, as local political rulers didn’t recognize his monarchy, but to give them credit they didn’t know he existed either. In this modern day, monarchies, especially ones led by the old spirits, wouldn’t fly so easily, so it was just easier to serve him in secret.  </p>
<p>Moleman was never much one for recruiting to the kingdom, he’d always been more of a simpler type, driving away any potentially suspicious bypassers. Besides, with his appearance, it was a little hard to lure people to the kingdom in the first place. People took one look at his scruffy, dust covered overcoat and his sunken, mousy face and decided to walk the other way. However, when he heard those gross crackling noises and snuck up on the band of creatures just recently birthed into existence, it was just too easy to not pass up. </p>
<p>“Oh my, the king’ll really loike you all now won’t he?” Moleman muttered to himself in the bushes like a creep. “Fresh ripe minds eh? Won’t even need any fixin’ will ye?” Moleman crawled between the bushes, rustling around and around the group of strange creatures. They seemed to sense him, flitting their heads around nervously in search of him, but it did nothing but shoot their nerves. He finally circled behind them, stepped out of the bushes, and cleared his throat to make himself known. The quartet whipped their heads around and the butterfly spread its arms in front of the others to protect them. Heh, even without knowing anything at all, it had an instinctual desire to protect. How naive, thought Moleman. </p>
<p>“Hey now I’m not ‘ere to hurt ye, I just wanna take ye somewhere safe now. Ye wouldn’t moind somefin loike that?”</p>
<p>The creatures glanced quizzically at each other and it became very evident to Moleman that they didn’t understand English. Or language at all for that matter. Moleman sighed gruffly and grabbed the butterfly by the arm, yanking them forward. The other three cried out in protest and tried to push him away but it did little more than bug him slightly. Besides, at least now he didn’t have to drag away all four of them at once if he had their leader in hand. It's like that thing with horses where if you tame the head honcho, then the rest will follow you. </p>
<p>It did take a little coaxing to get the butterfly human creature thing to keep up with him. Despite its freakish height, it seemed to stumble at every opportunity. Perhaps he was asking too much of a basically newborn child, but y'know, most newborns don't do this well so it was really exceeding expectations. The trek to the kingdom wasn't even that difficult, and there were barely any obstacles, hills, cliffs, or anything in the way. It didn't take too terribly long before the group of five stopped in front of a strange, translucent looking gate. Moleman pressed a small button on one of the posts, and a shiny golden tube wormed its way up to his face.  </p>
<p>“Er, I got some news for the king. I got some new recruits I think he oughta have a look at,” Moleman spoke into the tube. </p>
<p>"Is that so?" replied a tinny voice from the tube. "I'll notify him in eight to ten business days."</p>
<p>"Ah c'mon now, quit screwing with me kid!" he chuckled back. "Just send me up."</p>
<p>"Right away M."</p>
<p>A few moments after the tube retreated back into the wall, the gate flew open, startling the creatures. Moleman smirked at their sincerity and led them into the kingdom. Malcolm would be happy with him tonight.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0029"><h2>29. Shrignold the Butterfly Chapter 2: Malcom in the Middle</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>these chapter titles are so stupid and i love them. </p>
<p>i think i'm getting to the point where some of the chapters aren't utter hot garbage so i don't have to edit them TOO much to make them passable. but there will still be a few instances where i'll have to add in something i left out the first time.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The Butterfly didn’t like being in this big, tall, empty, scary, golden room. Especially considering how high off the ground it was. Sure, they’d flown amazing distances and heights as a regular butterfly but in this new humanoid form, they weren’t sure they even had WINGS anymore. Looking out the windows revealed the throne room, along with most of the city, to be floating high between the clouds. The ground deep below them felt as if it was calling them to fall to it and crack their skull open. And the brilliant glowing energy of the whole room did not help the disorientation at all. The hard metal floor felt freezing cold under their bare feet and even when on the ornate blue rug, they could still feel the hardness. They glanced at their three friends for composure before summoning their wits and looking up at the being on the throne. </p>
<p>The creatures watched a young looking, slightly supernatural seeming human flop around in a large throne at the other end of the room. His skin was a pale blue that gave them the sensation of death just by looking at it, and the cracks running all over his body compounded this sensation. His dark blue-green hair draped in front of his half shut eyes and the pure white sheet that loosely cloaked his body was decorated with more golden jewelry. He looked exceedingly bored. One of the other humans fidgeted in the corner for a moment before stumbling their way over to the boy on the throne and muttering something in his ear. The boy in the throne sighed and sat up. He outstretched his hand and pulled the Butterfly forwards by simply clenching his fist. As if they were being shoved by a moving wall, the Butterfly found themself directly in front of the boy and they could get a good look at his face.</p>
<p>His eyes were still half shut as they raked over the Butterfly’s body, making them extremely uncomfortable. It was too empty to be a hard glare, but too sharp to be just a bored look. The butterfly scanned the boy's appearance in return, as if that would somehow get back at him for the weird looks. Despite his odd appearance he still had the air of a simple teenager about him, although at this point there was no doubt that he was NOT that.</p>
<p>“Hmm. Yeah, you’re right. This host looks perfect for him.” The boy's voice echoed throughout the room, and reverberated though the butterfly's skeleton. It wasn't booming or threatening, it was actually rather relaxing. For a moment, their worries were quelled, but then they looked in his eyes again and reminded themself what their instincts were telling them. </p>
<p>“Ah- I’m so glad you agree,” the other human mumbled. “I’ll let Moleman know he’ll be getting some benefits soon!” The human then rushed out of the throne room in a minor fuss.</p>
<p>“You look neat. I wonder what made you. I don’t think I’ve seen anything like you, or at least, not in a very long time.” The boy’s voice droned on in an crushingly bored tone. “You're certainly not human or object, and you cannot be a god or spirit. I have to wonder... Ah, I’m rambling. Let’s just get this over with.”</p>
<p>The boy gestured again and the Butterfly found themself being jolted into the air and drifted closer to him. They struggled but found that their limbs wouldn’t move, as if they were being squeezed closer to their body by a rope. All they could do was lean their head back as they grew closer and closer to him. The boy let a slight smile escape his dull expression as he pressed his hand to the Butterfly’s chest. A small heart formed where his hand had been but it quickly expanded to cover almost all of the Butterfly’s ribcage. The creatures could be seen shouting in protest across the room. The room was bathed in a deep red light.</p>
<p>A disgusting black goo spread out in tendrils from the heart and crawled into the Butterfly’s left eye. They writhed in pain for a moment before the boy grabbed their chin and held them still. Soon the Butterfly stopped moving and closed their eyes. The boy let go and the Butterfly fell to the ground.</p>
<p>......</p>
<p>The Butterfly’s body wriggled for a moment before pushing itself up. Its movements were far smoother and practiced, as if it had been a humanoid all its life. It turned around and grinned at the boy before bowing.</p>
<p>“Thank you for the new vessel, my king.” </p>
<p>“I thought you might like it, Shrignold.” Malcolm tilted his head slightly, leaning it against his left arm, and grinned slightly.</p>
<p>“I must say-“ he stretched his arms, “-this one is much more eh... versatile then your last choice for me.”</p>
<p>“Yeah, I gotta admit, I did get a little lazy with my last pickings. But I just really wanted to get my aspects out there. I’m not as desperate now. We live in less desperate times.”</p>
<p>“Of course, of course. I don't blame you at all. Hmm.” Shrignold turned and looked at the other creatures. “Are you going to use any of those other ones as vessels? I do miss some of the others.”</p>
<p>“No. I don’t think they’re very fitting. My aspects only deserve the very best. You got the most beautiful one, just like you always complained to me about.”</p>
<p>“Oh come now, I didn't complain that much. I wonder... How many are left hostless by the way?”</p>
<p>“Just...” Malcolm paused for a moment, likely looking inside of his mind. “Just three.”</p>
<p>“Well, alright then. Any requests of me, my king?”</p>
<p>“Yes. Those creatures over there saw your vessel as their leader. So they’ll follow you anywhere. Take them to the gardens. They need to get used to living under my rule.”</p>
<p>“Yes my king.” Shrignold went to round up the creatures. They were all squeaking in excitement.</p>
<p>“Oh and one more thing. Tell one of my court whatever guys that I got a new rule. Uh, everyone’s gotta wear a gold bracelet.”</p>
<p>Shrignold smirked. “Still making up new rules? You haven’t changed a bit my king.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0030"><h2>30. Shrignold the Butterfly Chapter 3: A Splitting Headache</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>man things happened in this chapter? i really got going didn't i. hmmst. </p>
<p>i'm currently editing while i watch my liked music playlist on youtube music and its simultaneously helping and distracting</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Shrignold became much accustomed to his existence again. So used was he to residing in Malcolm's thoughts; it was nice to be out and about again after such a long time. As much as he enjoyed being Malcolm, being part of his consciousness, he missed being, he missed feeling, and he loved seeing the intense emotions of reality. Truly, the last time he’d been out (with a proper vessel mind you) was a couple hundred years ago. Things were simpler back then. People would just join you because you were a “god,” no questions asked. Nowadays you had to either find crazy people, or do a LOT of convincing. People just didn’t like to associate with the old gods and spirits anymore. It was frankly tiresome work.</p>
<p>Malcolm had assured Shrignold that their kingdom was thriving more than ever now and he had to admit, it did seem that way. All this modern, newfangled technology, they didn’t even have to focus on making the clouds float with magic, when there was a machine that could do it for them! This did seem to let the rest of the king’s subjects focus on other things like recruitment and... “infrastructure,” whatever that was. Shrignold still didn’t quite understand why they had to hide their kingdom away in the woods.</p>
<p>“Because the future is now. There are like... countries and crap. That’re ruled by uh, democracy and... city state stuff. They don’t like monarchs, my dear Shrignold. It’s better to just live away where no one can see us.”</p>
<p>“But doesn’t that make it harder to get more people? And why don’t we just crush them all with your powers?”</p>
<p>“Yes it does but I don’t really care. And also we can’t because guns exist now. And gun objects. And nukes. And nuke objects. A lot of weapons got invented while you were out.”</p>
<p>Nonetheless, Shrignold continued at his work for five long, uneventful years. And the narrator can’t be called out for skipping 5 years because I already skipped 80 years during Pete’s POV. Anyhow, his work involved mostly luring unsuspecting people and objects into the woods so they could be more... easily convinced to join the kingdom. For some reason, the thought of a mystical city in the clouds ruled by one of the old spirits didn’t quite appeal to them, so he had to be a little more forceful than he was used to. Still, even that became monotonous after a while. He could not find himself to be bored with his life, it was still mildly interesting and he still got to feel the height of emotions, fear and anger and joy and sadness, when he watched them on other people's faces. But he could not find himself to be too invested either after a while. He did not wish to become just like Malcolm in this regard, but he was growing to understand why the person he was an aspect of had grown to be so bored of the world.</p>
<p>Until he heard someone else in his head.</p>
<p>........</p>
<p>It was just a normal day where he was walking through the woods, perusing the various flora. Life was still as beautiful as he remembered, but he had heard that something was killing all the nature because of heat or something. He did not really understand or care much, but it was a little disappointing nonetheless. A little bit into his walk however, he heard a strange whispering. Shrignold stopped on the spot and slowly turned, looking every which way for some sort of stalker. But there was no one to be seen. He took a few steps and stopped sharply again to see if he could hear an extra footstep, but there was nothing. </p>
<p>The whispering grew a little louder. It sounded vaguely familiar but he couldn’t quite pick it out. It was young, and cold, but with a hint of sweetness. Shrignold couldn’t make out any words except “away.” It crackled through his skull like static. </p>
<p>It suddenly struck him that it wasn’t coming from outside of him but rather inside. There was some sort of... entity infecting his brain. It had the same reverberation as when his king talked to him, echoing through his brain and trying to jump out through his eyes. It was growing louder, more persistent, more eager to shove him out, squeeze him out through the holes in his skin. Shrignold squeezed his eyes shut and clenched his hair anxiously. His heart, HIS heart, not the vessel’s, was pounding wildly and he began gasping for air. What was this?! Shrignold heaved himself backwards and slammed into a tree, leaving him dazed for a moment. Luckily that seemed to quiet the voice, at least for now. </p>
<p>This had never happened before. Not once in the three thousand years he'd existed. He was NOT hallucinating, that was for certain. There was no other explanation other than that someone had entered his brain, or his body. Something was trying to share his vessel, HIS precious, divinely selected vessel. How dare they try to take it away from him?!  </p>
<p>Shrignold jumped to his feet and raced back towards the kingdom. He needed to tell Malcolm there was an invader right away, before his condition worsened.</p>
<p>................</p>
<p>The other court whatever guys (yes that is their official name) glanced worriedly at Shrignold as he hurried in a panic up the stairs to the throne room. His face was crazed and his body was sore but this was ABSOLUTELY an emergency.</p>
<p>He slammed through the giant, golden doors and sprinted across the huge room before collapsing at the king’s feet, panting heavily.</p>
<p>Malcolm somehow showed enough shock to raise an eyebrow. “Shrignold? What’s got you so worked up?”</p>
<p>“I- *gasp* there’s- there’s someone else! There’s a- I-“</p>
<p>“Jeez, calm down and get your words out already.” The boy rolled his eyes at his aspect's lack of composure. </p>
<p>Shrignold sucked in his breath before continuing. “My king, there’s someone else in my head. There’s a voice in my brain that isn’t you!”</p>
<p>“What?” Malcolm, for once, showed an indication that he was concerned. He straightened up and actually opened his eyes all the way. “Are you sure?”</p>
<p>“Absolutely, my king. They were coming from inside my head and they didn’t sound like anyone I’ve ever heard before.”</p>
<p>“And you only heard it just now? What were they saying?”</p>
<p>“I- I couldn’t hear it clearly. But yes, only just now. Just- hhh-“ The butterfly was incensed and panicked, unable to spit out the words. His venomous thoughts were muddled with anger that this was even happening in the first place.</p>
<p>Malcolm floated himself off the throne and circled around Shrignold, scanning him up and down. The butterfly felt a piercing stare that seemed to be scouring the inside of his skull, searching for impurities. Finally, the boy floated himself back to the throne and relaxed. “I think I might know what’s happening, although I could’ve sworn I was more thorough than that...”</p>
<p>“Wh- whats going on with me?!”</p>
<p>Malcolm returned to his lazy gaze. “I think you should go take a vacation, my dear aspect. By the cliffside sea. That’ll clear your head.”</p>
<p>“Wh- this is no time for me to take a break, I don’t even know what’s wrong!!”</p>
<p>“Don’t worry. You should be able to figure it out while you’re there.” Malcolm smiled and floated Shrignold into the air. “Have fun.” </p>
<p>He jolted his hand to the side and threw Shrignold out the throne room window.</p>
<p>................</p>
<p>“The cliffside sea huh? Well, at least it’s a lovely place...”</p>
<p>Shrignold looked out over the edge and out into the shining waters. The ground had steeply sloped upwards until he’d arrived at the top, where there was a sheer drop into the sea to his right and a cool shaded forest to his left. He backed into the trees as the sun began inching down towards the horizon. The water turned a deep orange as the sun flowed across it.</p>
<p>“Still. I don’t see how this is supposed to help me.”</p>
<p>“Oh, it’ll really help me though.”</p>
<p>Shrignold nearly jumped out of his vessel in shock. The voice from before had returned, and it was far more distinct now.</p>
<p>“Wh- who the HELL are you?!” Shrignold whipped his head around wildly even though he knew it was in his head. His teeth were clenched in anger so hard he might crack them.</p>
<p>“I’m the original, you idiot! I’m the one you replaced! I’m the butterfly you SHOVED OUT OF THE WAY!! You took my body, how DARE you!”</p>
<p>“Wh... oh. OH! AHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAH!! Heheh, that’s cute. You think this is still your body, don’t you?” Shrignold let his voice grow soft and taunting, like a condescending parent. My, he wasn't expecting this outcome.</p>
<p>“Of course I do! I was here first!” The voice sounded pleading and frustrated, like a grumpy child.</p>
<p>“Hm. I thought Malcolm said that this body didn’t know language when it arrived.”</p>
<p>“I didn’t, but you’ve been around here for five years! I was gonna find out howta talk at some point!”</p>
<p>“Pff, what, are you five years old too?”</p>
<p>“Yes!!” </p>
<p>“Oh, that makes my life so much easier. It can’t be that hard to outsmart a toddler.” </p>
<p>“I’m not a TODDLER! I’m a big kid!” Shrignold felt himself stamping his foot at that statement. Or rather, the other Butterfly did. Wh... The other had taken over for a moment..?</p>
<p>“How did you..?”</p>
<p>The voice gasped in excitement. “I knew it!! I knew I could do it! I can control you now! I DID IT I DID IT!!” It took all of Shrignold's efforts to resist the child hopping up and down in excitement.</p>
<p>“No, no you’re not- you’re not winning that easily!”</p>
<p>Shrignold felt his legs step forward so he tilted his upper body and rammed into a nearby tree. The butterfly wobbled for a moment before reeling back and rebalancing.</p>
<p>“H- hey! Stop it! This is MY body! Why don’t you go find someone else to steal huh? Why don’t you just live in a corpse so you don’t hurt anyone?! YOU DESERVE A ROTTEN HOUSE LIKE THAT!”</p>
<p>“You’re a rather morbid kid aren’t you?” Shrignold smiled as he toppled closer to the edge of the cliff. Gods, how was this little brat already so good at taking control? Had he been practicing? It felt as if his limbs were going numb. The child groaned in frustration and tried to use the arms to pull the two of them back towards the forest. But Shrignold retaliated a little too hard, leaving the two of them teetering on the very edge of the cliff.</p>
<p>“W- wait, don’t- don’t push us off you stupid kid! Don’t you know what you’re doing?!”</p>
<p>“I’m TRYING!!” Shrignold felt those words come out of his own mouth. The kid had gotten control of his voice too! He was startled for only a very brief moment, but that was all it took for the balance to tip. Right has he clasped his hands over his mouth, he felt his foot slip. He was completely off the ground. </p>
<p>The Butterfly went crashing down into the waters below.</p>
<p>The sun was setting.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0031"><h2>31. Shrignold the Butterfly Chapter 4: Micheal Has Good Things Happen to Him</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>yachacha dabee dee dabee dee</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The sun had finally lowered beneath the horizon and the moon began looming bright in the night sky as the butterfly’s unconscious body floated onto the soft sandy shore. It wasn’t too terribly far away from where the two had fallen, but far enough to not see the cliff in the distance. The water was speckled with starlight as the deep blue washed over everything in serenity. They were awake, somewhat. They groaned with discomfort and forced their eyes open, still unwilling to move. Their whole body ached after the battering and bashing it’d gone through in the water so they resolved to simply wait for... something. Anything...</p>
<p>After a few minutes they had enough energy to turn their head slightly and move a little, although it wasn’t nearly enough to push them to their feet, or even a sitting position. The sand smattered against their face and latched onto it like mud. It was almost calming, if they didn't focus too much on it. The water had left their skin cold and shivering, but they didn't really move to warm themselves up. Their arms were covered by the massive, draping sleeves, but the crop top and shorts left a bit of warmth to be desired. They wondered if they would just have to lie there forever until they perished. However, it seemed luck shone down upon them that night, as they heard footsteps approaching.</p>
<p>The Butterfly turned their head to see a couple approaching, one human and one object. They didn’t seem to notice them for a moment before the human nudged their partner and pointed at the Butterfly’s body plastered across the sand. The two rushed over to them.</p>
<p>“Oh my gosh- are you okay sir? Or ma’am? Or- ah whatever,” sputtered the human.</p>
<p>The Butterfly exhaustedly nodded their head.</p>
<p>“You don’t look okay! What on earth happened to you!?” asked the object.</p>
<p>“I dunno. I fell off a cliff I guess.”</p>
<p>The couple startled at the sound of a very young child’s voice coming out of this odd creature. They glanced anxiously at each other before pulling the butterfly upright and helping them sit up.</p>
<p>“Are you- uh, what’s your name? How old are you? Do you have any family or anything?”</p>
<p>“I... uh....” the Butterfly’s mind went into a panic. They didn’t even have a name! How stupid were they? They should’ve come up with a name by now, it’s been five years! Uh, what’s a name that normal kids have? Uh uh- “Micheal! My name is Micheal!” He smiled awkwardly at the couple after spitting that out. “My name is Micheal and I’m five years old! And I don’t have a family, I’m all on my own!” he smiled proudly. Not many kids his age could say that could they? Of course, he had been cheating a little bit, since it wasn't HIM who was taking care of his body, but semantics.</p>
<p>The couple didn’t seem as impressed as he wished. Their faces distorted into extremely uncomfortable expressions before the human pulled their partner to the side and whispered in their ear for a moment. The two nodded at each other and began talking. Micheal fidgeted with his antennae. It felt funny. The couple were certainly taking their time talking, weren't they? He wondered what they were discussing. It probably had to do with him, but he had no idea as to how. </p>
<p>“Well, my name’s Evyn,” said the human. “I’m 25 and this is my partner Shell.” They gestured at the object. “We uh, both agree that it’s not a good idea for a kid like you to be out and about. At night. Alone. So... do you wanna stay at our house for a bit until we figure something out for you?”</p>
<p>A massive smile spread across Micheal’s face and he jumped up in the air. A house? That sounds fun indeed. He'd never really seen what people down on the ground lived like. Shrignold never had a reason to go, so he never got to look through his eyes. “Oh YES YES! That’d be wonderful! Ehehe, I wanna go right now!” He hopped up and down in place, newly energized by the thought of having NICE people to hang out with. The couple glanced nervously at him standing up like that. They hadn’t noticed before but this weird kid was uh... 7 feet tall. Ah, it’s probably nothing. They can figure it out later.</p>
<p>.............</p>
<p>Micheal had never actually eaten a proper meal before. Shrignold didn’t actually have to eat, and even if he did, it wasn’t like he’d have been able to taste it anyways. He'd only had access to sight and hearing before. So the stale bag of potato chips the couple and found in their cupboard was more than enough to satisfy him. He almost ate the actual bag too before Shell tore it out of his hands. Evidently he wasn’t supposed to eat that sort of thing. Is that so? How come it doesn't count as food? </p>
<p>Micheal was absolutely fascinated with the bathroom mirror in particular. He’d never gotten a good look at himself before and WOW that was what he was? That’s so cool!! He marveled at his weird sleek hair and teal skin and super duper huge sleeves and giant antennae. Nobody else he’d seen looked like this! He must be special! Shrignold always talked about how beautiful he was, and yet he'd never gotten a good look at himself through anything but a distorted pool of water. HA! Beautiful. Shrignold was such a weirdo. He was cool, that was for sure.</p>
<p>Micheal then caught himself. He noticed something felt different. He pressed his hand to his chest. Something was missing; where was the-</p>
<p>THE HEART! Shrignold’s heart wasn’t plastered to his chest! There wasn’t any gross cult goop seeping into his eye! Micheal clenched his fists and hopped and spun around in excitement. HE WAS GONE!! Shrignold was gone! He got rid of him!</p>
<p>He must’ve knocked him out of his body cuz of the fall! Of course, of course! He’d get to have his own life now! Malcolm wouldn’t find him and he could live life like a normal kid! Micheal burst out of the bathroom and hopped jumped on the bed the couple had provided for him, screaming nonsense words in excitement. This continued for almost 15 minutes before he promptly exhausted his energy and passed out for the night, collapsing onto the blanket.</p>
<p>.........</p>
<p>Micheal spent the next day exploring everything around the couple’s house. They told him he couldn’t run too far away but seeing as he’d survived this long alone at only 5 years old, they trusted him to be safe a little more than average.</p>
<p>Micheal savored in every single thing. When Shrignold was in control, he could only see and hear things, and not very clearly. Now every little object, creature, plant felt new and exciting! The sun was actually on HIS skin! He could see how bright the colors of the world really were, he could smell the distinct scent of nature and the woods that he’d only got to truly live in for a few weeks before his transformation into a humanoid. It was nostalgic and fresh and new all at once.</p>
<p>He expended all of his daylight hours simply experiencing every square inch of the area the couple had given him. The water felt so strange, not at all like the kind he’d fallen into. Touch was such a strange sensation to him, especially once he rediscovered how to use his antennae in his new form. Micheal used those very lovely hours being a person, and he was so eager to do it again and again, every day, for the rest of his life.</p>
<p>Micheal retired to his bed once the sun had set with a warm feeling in his heart.</p>
<p>Five hours later, Shrignold woke up.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0032"><h2>32. Shrignold the Butterfly Chapter 5: He's a Very Mean Boy</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh uh oh. bad things occureth. i think every chapter has to have at least some innocent bystander collateral damage </p>
<p>i had too much of a hard time spelling collateral</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Shrignold rolled his head around on his neck, climbing out of Micheal’s bed. Hmph. Micheal. What a stupid, awful name. Quite befitting of that moronic child. Did he really think he could get away with it that easily? Did he think he could escape him? No. He never would.</p>
<p>Shrignold swooped his hands around in a circular motion. He considered simply flying away back to the kingdom. But he needed some way to make Micheal pay for what he’d done. He’d need to make sure he never tried a stunt like this again. He needed to...</p>
<p>He walked aimlessly around in the house’s kitchen. Modern people kept many sharp objects in there, many deadly things. Perhaps it was to make their lives easier, but that seemed like a poor balance of risk reward. It was a rather foolish idea to him, but it did work out in his favor, at least for this. His finger traced along the countertop and wandered to a drawer at the end. Dancing along, he wrapped his fingers around a handle and pulled it open. Oh how lovely, it was full of weapons, perfect for that carving and stabbing of other creatures thing that lesser life forms loved to do. Shrignold grabbed a knife and flipped it around in his hands. It felt nice. The plastic and metal handle slipped into the crevice his hands formed. It wasn’t as comfortable to him as his “personal weapon” but it would do quite nicely.</p>
<p>Hearing footsteps approach, Shrignold eased his head around and narrowed his eyes. One of the two others in the house, those fools that took in Micheal, was stood in the doorway.</p>
<p>“Micheal? What’d you think you’re doing with that?” They nervously gestured to the knife resting at his side.</p>
<p>“Micheal’s gone I’m afraid,” he slowly stepped forward, “And soon you will be too.”</p>
<p>“H- hey, quit fucking around!”</p>
<p>Shrignold stopped for a moment, his face scrunching up slightly.</p>
<p>"Excuse me..? What did you just say?"</p>
<p>"I- I-"</p>
<p>"No no, you don't get to speak like that. That's... that's rather improper, especially when addressing a god." Shrignold's face twisted into an annoyed smile. "This is what I don't understand about lesser lifeforms like you and whoever you spoke to in this body earlier. You really think you're all that and speak in such a foul manner. I've met SO many people like you in the past few years, gods is it grating!" </p>
<p>The human stepped backwards anxiously as Shrignold subconsciously walked towards them through the kitchen door. "I- I don't understand!"</p>
<p>"Ah, of course you wouldn't understand." He snapped out of his rant and flashed them a deadly smile. “It really doesn’t matter. What’s the point in telling you when you’ll be dead? You know, I would usually be remorseful about this sort of primitive act of violence. Normally I would have welcomed people like you two into our wonderful kingdom. But I need to teach someone a lesson. And I'm rather sick of this place.” Shrignold lunged forward, narrowly missing the human who dodged out of the way. He lodged the knife out of the upholstered chair and hurtled it towards the human again. They rolled out of the way and kicked him in the ribs before sprinting away while screaming in terror.</p>
<p>Shrignold was too fast though, his extreme height let him easily catch up to the human. He grabbed them by the arm and screwed the knife around straight into their skull. He pulled it out of their head and let them topple to the floor, seeking out the object. There was a strange pounding in his vessel’s stomach, but he ignored it.</p>
<p>It didn’t take long to find the other, as after a few minutes they sprang out from behind a wall and cracked a baseball bat against his free hand. This only gave them a few moments to run as he staggered back. Shrignold pushed through the pain and burst after them. Still, they were almost out the door; he’d lose them at this rate. He stopped in his tracks and threw the knife towards the object. It shot through their hand and pinned them against the wall.</p>
<p>A smile spread across his face. As he stepped on the object, pulling the knife out of their hand and raising it in the air, he asked, “Are you watching Micheal? This is what happens if you don’t behave.”</p>
<p>.........</p>
<p>Micheal’s body ached as he forced his eyes open. He’d had the most terrible dream! Wait... why wasn’t he in bed? He scanned his surroundings, but it was so terribly dark... and what was that sticky stuff splattered all over him. It smelled like....</p>
<p>Micheal shrieked and threw himself against the wall, hyperventilating.</p>
<p>“No- no no no please no!! I didn’t- that wasn’t- what happened?!”</p>
<p>“I did what had to be done you stupid child,” replied Shrignold as he brushed off his shirt. “Maybe you’ll learn not to be so inconvenient next time. If you’re lucky, maybe Malcolm will let you live.”</p>
<p>“No! NO NO NO!! No get OUT! GO AWAY! I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU SO MUCH!” cried Micheal. His throat grew hoarse from screaming. “STOP TOUCHING ME, GET OUT GET OUT!! YOU’RE AWFUL!!” He slammed against the wall wildly and scraped at his head.</p>
<p>“OH MY GODS YOU'RE SO ANNOYING!! Why do you insist on making me suffer so? Did you not learn a single thing from what just happened?! Fighting back is only going to make things worse you insignificant child!” Shrignold could not understand the logic in Micheal's actions. Did he seriously think he would get something out of this? He tried to pull a smile to mask his irritation and desperately clawed to get his body back.</p>
<p>“NO! NO IT WON'T!! I’M GONNA KILL YOU!!” Micheal spat in retaliation. The two were both equally incensed at the other's offenses.</p>
<p>“I wouldn’t try it, what if you just end up killing yourself?” Shrignold wrested his left arm back to himself and reached for the doorpost to stand. “Besides, how do you know I won’t try to kill you? I’ve been awfully nice to you considering the circumstances,” he frowned.</p>
<p>Micheal clenched his fists, shivering. “No... ugh, I hate you, I...” he looked at his bloodstained hands.</p>
<p>He curled up on the grassy ground, sobbing into his sleeves. The moon was brilliant and bright, shining down on the now empty seaside abode.</p>
<p>Shrignold didn’t care. He whispered into Micheal’s ear, “You better make your next move carefully, brat. Although I doubt you'll be able to outwit a god... I already have a plan.”</p>
<p>................</p>
<p>“Malcolm do you have a plan?!”</p>
<p>Malcolm snapped out of his stupor at the sound of Shrignold’s voice, but the butterfly was nowhere in sight. Ah, he must be in his brain. Long distance call, huh?</p>
<p>“A plan about what? You can’t just jump into my head like that, I was watching something on my phone.”</p>
<p>"Your what?”</p>
<p>“Nothing, what do you want?” he snapped.</p>
<p>“How. Do I. Get rid. Of the kid?”</p>
<p>“Oh, the little vessel brat? Uh... lemme think about that for a second.”</p>
<p>Half a second later, “Okay so you have to kill him if you want to take full control of your body again.”</p>
<p>“Well that’s all fine and dandy but that will get ME killed too! ...My king.”</p>
<p>Malcolm leaned horizontally on his throne. “Well... you could leave his body. Just for a little bit. Then you wouldn’t be in their when he dies.”</p>
<p>“Yes I suppose so. You can recall me, and then retrieve the body so I can come back. But... how do I kill him fast enough to guarantee it but slow enough that I can escape?”</p>
<p>“Get him to kill himself.” Malcolm chuckled. “I thought it was fairly obvious. What’s the most common trope related to suicide?”</p>
<p>“What’s a trope?”</p>
<p>“Ah right, you’re an uncultured swine. Y’know what, whatever. You can figure it out yourself. I don’t want to have to spell everything out for you.”</p>
<p>“.....”</p>
<p>Malcolm’s face hardened. “GOT IT?!”</p>
<p>“Y- yes my king! I understand! I’ll be on it right away!”</p>
<p>“Wonderful.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0033"><h2>33. Shrignold the Butterfly Chapter 6: A Fallen Hero</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>heyyyyyyyyyy i've been out for a while but that's fine. anyways i'm getting back to sonic speed editing this, sorry for the wait.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Micheal tore through the open, rolling hills in a frenzy. He had to find somewhere, ANYWHERE. Somewhere he could get rid of Shrignold once and for all! He wasn’t sure if he was still in his head watching or away some place, but he didn’t care. He was in control, and that was all that mattered. The panic mixed with spite that stirred in his chest felt all too similar to him though, so even when he was gone, he was reminded of him. He he he he, too many annoying pronouns, was what he thought at that moment. </p>
<p>A metallic, mechanic drilling rang through the air, coming from far to the left of Micheal. He turned his head and spotted something tall and gray off in the distance, surrounded by rocks and cliffs. Hmm... maybe....</p>
<p>The sky grew cloudy and gray as he walked closer to the sound. Rain dropped down in sprinkles, then showers as the strange structure drew closer. Micheal was cold.</p>
<p>Shrignold watched in anticipation. Oh, YES this was perfect! This silly little child thought he could use his own tricks against him. And now he was leading him right to the perfect trap. He’d have his body back in no time. He resisted the urge to laugh and expose his existence.</p>
<p>Micheal cleared over one final hill and gazed down into the rocky valley. An abandoned construction site revealed itself to him, with creaking, rusty metal stacked high into the sky and craggily, sharp piles of rock coating the ground below. Micheal’s head suddenly filled with the sound of a deep bellowing moan as one of the piles of rebar rolled off a ledge from the force of the rain and hurtled towards the ground, stabbing right into it. Metal skewered the ground like a kebob and the child uneasily removed his hands from his ears. Micheal whimpered before shaking his head and looking for a good spot to lay his trap.</p>
<p>The ran buffeted the butterfly as the two of them crawled down and around the valley. Lightning crackled in the air. He had to wonder how it had come to storm so heavily in just a few minutes. Or had he just lost his sense of time in all the chaos? Neither option seemed too agreeable.</p>
<p>Shrignold waited for them to descend into the pit and reach the construction itself. He could more easily gauge the height, and pick the best option to kill the freak off. Micheal hesitated for a moment though. The metallic structure looked so intimidating, piercing the dark, stormy sky. Like a hulking, lanky beast it consumed everything in his vision. It called to him. The child swallowed nervously and stepped onto the concrete foundation.</p>
<p>Shrignold immediately took control of the body’s arms and grabbed onto the corner of the scaffolding, ramming the body’s skull into the hard metal and knocking Micheal out. He felt himself tumble to the ground and shoved his consciousness into the rest of the body, forcing it awake. Shrignold cracked his neck and hoisted himself onto another piece of the construction. Latching his hands around the skeleton of the building felt like a delicate ballet as he danced higher upwards.</p>
<p>He eased his way to the very top, closer and closer and closer to the sky. He needed the fall to be very long, so he’d have time to escape. The rain pelted his eyes but did him no harm. The wind buffeted his thin body but all it did was make him fight harder. He was too excited to even notice. It’d been so very long since he made a lesser being suffer like this, toying with them. It really was in his nature to pull off a stunt like this. His body began to ache as he neared the peak but he couldn’t let go, no matter how broken his fingers got. Yes, he eventually had to acknowledge the bone poking out of one of them. But it was no matter; he would not have to deal with it for long. </p>
<p>The wind and rain pushed and shoved against him as he stared up into the sky, and then back at the ground. The world looked so pathetic from up here. He could barely even see the roughened ground below him. But he didn’t have much time to ponder, as just then, Micheal woke up. The kid shoved him out of the control seat and gasped in terror at the height he’d reached while knocked out. He felt a rat gnawing at his stomach and forced his eyes shut. There was no time for fear! He had to get out of here now!</p>
<p>Shrignold groaned in frustration and jolted the legs forward. “You are NOT winning this! A mere child such as yourself cannot defeat the the god of love!!”</p>
<p>Micheal shrieked and tried to roll backwards to negate the distance gained. Shrignold twisted the arms so that he only made it halfway back before tripping over himself.</p>
<p>“Why can’t you leave me alone?! WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME?!?!” Micheal sobbed.</p>
<p>“You don’t understand anything.” Shrignold hooked his fingers around the edge of the scaffolding and tried to drag the body towards the edge. “This body is mine. It’s PERFECT for me. It hasn’t been yours in FIVE YEARS. I am a GOD, you do NOT take precedence over me!”</p>
<p>Micheal shoved himself to his feet. “No. NO! I’ll get rid of you NOW!” He whipped his head around and spotted a large metal pole balancing on the edge. Shrignold was too in control now, if Micheal knocked himself out, then Shrignold would have no choice but to command the body. And then he’d perish from the fall. Micheal hurtled himself towards the pole but was stopped in his tracks by a tugging sensation around his neck.</p>
<p>It felt as if someone was pulling him backwards with a string tight around his throat.</p>
<p>“STOP- Please STOP STOP I CAN’T BREATHE!” he choked out.</p>
<p>“You’re coming with me!” Shrignold replied. The body inched further and further backwards until their feet were just one inch from the edge.</p>
<p>“N- no!” Micheal threw himself forward one final time.</p>
<p>But it wasn’t enough.</p>
<p>Shrignold JOLTED himself backwards, sending them toppling over the edge of the construction. The two tumbled and hurtled through the pouring rain as they watched the sky shrink in their view.</p>
<p>Shrignold called out for his king. He felt Malcolm’s arms curl around his being; his being that didn’t exist. He was enveloped by a cold, crumbling sensation as he returned to his king’s mind. And then he fell silent. Quiet and silent in Malcolm’s mind without a vessel. Without an existence.</p>
<p>Micheal let out a horrified wail as he felt a scalding feeling wracked his body; Shrignold was gone but-</p>
<p>“NO!!!”</p>
<p>............................</p>
<p>The rain crashed down into a rocky valley. Some humans from a nearby town had started building there. The local inhabitants said it was a bad idea, but they didn’t listen.</p>
<p>Unfortunately, that proved correct. The manager of the operation died in a mysterious incident, and all building ceased 6 years ago.</p>
<p>The construction hadn’t been touched in ages; people were too scared of it. It felt oppressing, like a curse had settled over the land.</p>
<p>The lightning flashed through the sky, illuminating the darkened valley.</p>
<p>Illuminating the butterfly’s corpse.</p>
<p>His spine and skull were shattered, and brain matter, bones, and blood was splattered across the rocks. His arms were twisted and distorted from the impact, and his eyes were pried open in terror.</p>
<p>............</p>
<p>Malcolm sighed and gestured to his court whatever people.</p>
<p>“Go fetch my dear Shrignold’s vessel. He’s got someone waiting for him in the lobby.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0034"><h2>34. Shrignold the Butterfly Chapter 7: That Nice Young Man</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>we're no strangers to looooove</p>
<p>something something anybody else </p>
<p>iiiiiii just wanna tell you how i'm feeling</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It did take a few hours to retrieve Shrignold’s vessel, but all things considered, things went as well as they could have. Things couldn't have sped up much and Malcolm really didn’t want to keep his guest waiting.</p>
<p>The court whatever people basically just dragged the butterfly across the ground all the way back to the kingdom, just as a little extra spite against Micheal, even though he was already dead. It was in a god or spirit’s nature to be petty after all, especially in the modern day. All in all, what this accomplished was breaking even more bones than the fall had, but it was fine. Everything was fine. It was even more fine when they dragged him all the way through the streets of the kingdom and all the way up the stairs to Malcolm’s throne room. The looks on people's faces reminded Malcolm why it was so great to be king. </p>
<p>The king had grown particularly impatient and let out a bit of his anger on one of the court whatever people. However, he was a just king, he didn’t do any permanent damage. Malcolm simply threw him down 6 flights of stairs. But he’d be fine.</p>
<p>Malcolm was so terribly good at healing the body. His magic was simply wonderful to look at for a commoner. Of course, he was the “god of love” after all, of course he’d be powerful.</p>
<p>He wouldn’t be this strong if he wasn’t feeding off of his subjects love, but no one else needed to know that but him.</p>
<p>The butterfly’s corpse soon returned to an habitable state and Malcolm ejected Shrignold from the void of cerebral nonexistence, into his precious body. As Shrignold readjusted to being, Malcolm glanced at his nails and fidgeted impatiently.</p>
<p>“Thank you very much my king,” Shrignold bowed. “You know I’ll always be eternally grateful to-“</p>
<p>“Yeah yeah yeah that’s very nice. Listen, we have more important matters to deal with. There’s a human waiting for you in the lobby. He’s going to take you to his abode and provide instructions to you, and you are to do EXACTLY what he says.”</p>
<p>Shrignold blinked slowly in confusion, then broke out of his stupor. “Excuse me?! My king, I say this with the deepest respect, but have you gone mad?? Me, obey a human?! GO TO SOME RANDOM STRANGER'S HOUSE?! And just do what he asks??” Shrignold motioned wildly, his large sleeves flying everywhere.</p>
<p>“I know it sounds bad but you have to trust me, this is a very sound decision I’ve made.”</p>
<p>“How- what on earth are you talking about?! Is THIS what you brought me back for?! I have STANDARDS!” He flexed his fists agitatedly. “Did this human play some sort of mind trick on you? Did he use hypnosis, is that it!?”</p>
<p>“Well if by hypnosis you mean give me £500,000 in gold, then yes. Yes he did.”</p>
<p>Shrignold’s jaw dropped. “I- Uh- That’s-“</p>
<p>Malcolm floated down and ran a thumb under Shrignold’s chin. “Listen, don’t worry about it. Think of this as your opportunity to run wild and do some crazy shenanigans with your godhood,” he smiled oddly warmly. “I even heard from Kronos that this man hired his son Tony. The things he told me were QUITE interesting. Do you really want to pass this up?”</p>
<p>“Hmmph. I’m just concerned for your reputation is all. The son of the *eugh* TIME god is one thing. But we’re much more important than that. What do you think would happen if word spread that you were being bribed by mortals. By HUMANS especially?”</p>
<p>Malcolm shoved Shrignold to the ground. “I said don’t worry about it. Now go make me money, I’m gonna buy a PS4 for every household.”</p>
<p>“I still don’t know what that is,” Shrignold shouted as he was shoved down the stairwell and out the castle.</p>
<p>Malcolm pointed to a court whatever person and he yelped in fear.</p>
<p>“New rule, people are gonna have to feed gravel to the effigies of my face as a sign of their love.”</p>
<p>“Er- um okay... why gravel?”</p>
<p>“What’s the number one rule about my rules?” Malcolm snapped his fingers.</p>
<p>The court person sighed and whipped out a quill and paper. “...Don’t ask questions.”</p>
<p>.................</p>
<p>Oh dear.</p>
<p>It was one thing being bribed by a mortal. It was another being bribed by a HUMAN mortal. But one as delusional as this? Shrignold had to wonder how this crusty man even acquired 500,000 of anything, especially brain cells.</p>
<p>His face was hideous to look at, even for a human, with that disgusting drooping skin and thinned out blue hair. His limbs dangled at his sides as if they didn't even work. Still, Shrignold was sure to put on a smile and play along with the madman.</p>
<p>The car ride to his house was cramped and awful, with the man rambling on in droning tones about how his children were so terribly disrespectful and horrid, especially that tall one... what was his name again, Rob? Rex? Ah, whatever, Shrignold didn’t care to get invested in this man’s family matters.</p>
<p>The tiny, dilapidated apartment the two arrived in more than confirmed that this Roy creature was a complete and utter nutcase. The place he’d described was surrounded by trees and similar to a suburban area. This was... not that.</p>
<p>Until Roy pressed a button on a weird machine and the two of them appeared in what could only be described as a picture perfect neighborhood. Now, they were getting somewhere!</p>
<p>It was almost reminiscent of the land surrounding the kingdom of love, and for a moment Shrignold felt at home. He soon knocked on his head and reminded himself that this was nothing but the illusion of a crazy old man with exorbitant amounts of money. He shook his head and followed Roy into one of the houses. The man eased himself into a chair and motioned for the butterfly to come forward.</p>
<p>Shrignold certainly didn’t expect to be handed a play script. After reading through it on the couch, he was actually quite surprised. The lines in the song seemed almost perfectly aligned with the rules of the kingdom of love! But...</p>
<p>“How did you... this is almost word for word our doctrine!”</p>
<p>“I do my research,” Roy bluntly replied, his eyes glazing over.</p>
<p>“So what, am I just supposed to follow the script? Is that really what you got a GOD to do?”</p>
<p>“Well, gods can warp the world better. Stronger. It’d be more efficient to hire just one of you so you can create replicas of your subjects than to hire all the subjects.”</p>
<p>“Warp...?”</p>
<p>“Normally, no one can create life here. I have high hopes for you.”</p>
<p>With that, Roy stood up and shambled towards the door. He stopped before exiting the room and turned his head slightly.</p>
<p>“One more thing. I’d advise you to be careful. I don’t want you hurting my son in the wrong way.”</p>
<p>Shrignold was left alone in the room to ponder what “warp” and “create” meant, and to figure out how well he could break the rules. After all, he was a god. This man needn’t tell him what he could and couldn’t do. Perhaps he WOULD hurt this mysterious “son” of his. Just to prove him wrong. Just to have fun with his godhood, as his king had recommended.</p>
<p>Besides, he’d had quite enough of children getting in his way.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0035"><h2>35. Shrignold the Butterfly Chapter 8: DHMIS 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>zoned out like a bananza</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Shrignold waited in the clouds for his cue. He glanced at his hands. They shook, though he didn’t know why. He had nothing, no one to fear.</p>
<p>He was rather impressed at his ability to nearly perfectly replicate some of his subjects. He’d included the bunny and flowers that accompanied his vessel, just for the sheer irony, along with Moleman, and one of the Unicorn Courtiers. On top of that, he’d created someone brand new for the “Special One” portion. Heh, how pathetic. That portion of the song was a tad too deviant from the doctrine for his liking. That was another thing he’d be sure to correct in his performance.</p>
<p>Oh, there was the child now! Oh... oh dear. He looked rather... unappealing. Oh well, all the more reason to torment him.</p>
<p>“It makes you sad doesn’t it? That there’s so much hatred in the world. I hope you don’t mind if I ask you a question!”</p>
<p>.....</p>
<p>The words of the song rolled off his tongue. It felt oddly natural... relaxing, to play along and regale the doctrine in such a fun manner. The place he’d been given as a “classroom” was a pale replication of the kingdom but... it would certainly suffice. The pinkish cream clouds drew up a deceptively soothing feeling in the butterfly, and hopefully the child as well. </p>
<p>Shrignold was quite lucky to have figured out how to fly using this body, although it certainly would have made his life easier when he was trying to murder Micheal. His sleeves could transform into butterfly wings, letting him soar on ahead of the child through the clouds.</p>
<p>The creature really was a pathetic specimen. Certainly not of any interest to him, but he’d soon make it worth his while. His little plan would soon come to fruition, and he felt a fist close around his chest.</p>
<p>“Even me? But I am lonely...”</p>
<p>Hmmph. A waste of a creature. He’d be much better put to use. Time to divert the path.</p>
<p>“Yes it’s true, but do not worry! You’re confused but that’s okay! Let me put it another way.”</p>
<p>The boy swallowed nervously and looked with a bewildered expression at the tree Shrignold gestured to. It was clear that Roy had told him to answer everything according to a script as well. The deviation clearly bothered him, as he no longer had anything telling him what to do. </p>
<p>“This is the story of Micheal, the loneliest boy in town.”</p>
<p>Shrignold grinned to himself.</p>
<p>“This is the story of Micheal, the ugliest boy in town. Ugly and weak, they called him a freak, so he lived on his own underground, he lived on his own underground, he lived on his own underground.”</p>
<p>“See? Everyone has a special one!” Shrignold smiled at the boy.</p>
<p>The child raked his eyes over the butterfly and pressed his fist against his chest. It looked as if he wanted to step away, but couldn't because someone had threatened any alterations with death.</p>
<p>“Even Micheal!”</p>
<p>Shrignold continued with his modified script, his creations singing along in wonderous harmony. The boy no longer responded to anything they said. After all, he was probably too STUPID to say anything unless he was told. He just watched in anxiety as the song folded out around him.</p>
<p>“That’s the way that all love goes. Like a flower it grows and grows! And it’s forever. And forever!”</p>
<p>Shrignold lifted the boy’s head up, clenching his jaw with his hand, and walked behind him. As he crossed from his left to right, a dark black goo much like his crept out of his hand and into the boy’s eye. “And now we all worship our king.”</p>
<p>The stone effigy could do no justice to the real Malcolm and yet, Shrignold still felt himself entranced by his king. His true being. The others chanted absentmindedly as Shrignold explained to this child what would happened. What he would soon be a part of. Making sure of course to follow the most recent rule set.</p>
<p>The boy found himself suddenly locked to a chair made of clouds in a terribly contradictory trap. He gasped and tried to pull away but to no avail. Shrignold turned around to get one more look at his crowd of followers, and what was sure to be another vessel for Malcolm.</p>
<p>As he reached the final words of his song, Shrignold spotted two oddities in the crowd. There was an object, one he hadn’t created. It looked colorful, with papery hair.</p>
<p>And as soon as Shrignold laid eyes on Roy, it was over.</p>
<p>The boy vanished from his sight and Shrignold found himself alone in the cloudy imitation.</p>
<p>A voice whispered in his ear, the source from nowhere and everywhere.</p>
<p>“Did you think you could get away with stealing my son from me?”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0036"><h2>36. Shrignold the Butterfly Finale: Battle of the Lanky Boys</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>ayyyyyyyyyyyyy accomplished. now i'm excited to work on tony. his chapter's are much more fun to write than shrig's</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Roy paced back and forth across the living room as Shrignold leaned back smugly on the couch. He cracked his neck and let his eyes trace the disgusting human with all his stupid problems. Why should he have to apologize to this wretch for anything? He was the one who interjected and ruined the lesson anyways.</p>
<p>Roy pinched the bridge of his nose and glared back at the tall freakish butterfly man. He pondered how he’d get him into the machine room. Perhaps he’d have to use force, or maybe he could simply stab him out in the open and drag him all the way there. Of course then he’d have to clean the blood out of the carpet, which wouldn’t be too hard if he did it remotely, but it’d be difficult to time it right while the trio were still outside. Hmm, it’d be easier to just lure him to the room itself.</p>
<p>Crossing his legs and glancing at his nails, Shrignold waited in anticipation.</p>
<p>“I told you not to harm him.”</p>
<p>The butterfly grinned. “I know, I’m fully aware of what you wanted. Why else would I have done it?”</p>
<p>“You were supposed to do what I said,” Roy continued coldly.</p>
<p>“Did you really think you could order me around just like that? Especially when you were getting the lesson ohhhhhhhhhhh so wrong?” Shrignold stood up and towered over Roy with his 7-foot-height. “I don’t know who your last employees were but I can assure you, I’m not like them.”</p>
<p>Roy narrowed his eyes and tried fiercely to keep his calm. He couldn’t slip up now. He wasn’t even halfway done with his plan! Shaking his head slowly, he turned around and headed towards the machine room.</p>
<p>“Are you ignoring me? Really now? The silent treatment is so childish,” Shrignold giggled and followed him at an uncomfortably close distance. Straight into Roy’s trap.</p>
<p>It didn’t take long to arrive in the room, although Shrignold did hesitate at the entrance. There an overwhelming heaviness emanated from the inside and he tried to get himself to step back. Roy turned back towards him.</p>
<p>“Are you scared of a room?” he asked in a monotonous voice.</p>
<p>Shrignold rolled his eyes and rushed in, slamming the door as loud as he could. He threw his glance down at the checkered floor.</p>
<p>“I think you’ll severely regret going off script,” Roy muttered as he made a few adjustments to the dials on the machine. “I have plans for my son. I can’t just let him get whisked away by any ordinary old cult leader. He has to suffer how I planned, for his own good.”</p>
<p>Shrignold laughed to himself. “Wow, that’s really working out for you. I’ve told you before, there’s nothing you can do to stop me!" He giggled to himself. "I’ll do whatever I want with him. After all, he looks like an optimal vessel for my dear king’s aspects!” He folded his hands together and thought excitedly about the prospects of it.</p>
<p>Roy twitched compulsively. This went unnoticed by Shrignold, who continued to ramble on. “He’s already got the heart mark, it’s just a little faded. All I need to do is reactivate it again and get my wonderful Malcolm to finish the ceremony, and he’s as good as ours!” He flexed his fingers repeatedly.</p>
<p>Roy clenched his teeth and grabbed a screwdriver, hurtling it towards Shrignold and sticking it in his left eye. The butterfly screeched and yanked it out of his face, blood gushing out of the now ruined eyeball. He fell backwards onto the ground and clutched at his face, shrieking obscenities. Roy rushed over to him and kneed him in the jaw, sending his whole body toppling to the floor again.</p>
<p>“ONLY I can decide what happens to my son! You are NOT to interfere with MY rat!!”</p>
<p>Shrignold groaned in frustration and grabbed Roy’s leg, pulling him to the floor as well. He stood up and wheeled back to kick him in the ribs. “HOW DARE YOU RUIN A GOD’S FACE LIKE THIS!!”</p>
<p>Roy was sent flying a few inches from the force of the kick. He reached into his pocket for the special screwdriver. Pushing himself to his feet, he prepared to zerg rush Shrignold. Just as he sprinted towards him, the butterfly spread his wings and tried to fly above Roy.</p>
<p>Roy reached up just before Shrignold drew out of reach and jabbed the screwdriver into his leg. Then he pulled him back down and tore his wings viciously before shoving him to the ground and plummeting the weapon into his shoulder. He paused and watched Shrignold struggle, completely unable to free himself.</p>
<p>Roy sighed and let his face relax. Emoting like that was too much. Too much for him. He leaned closer and whispered to Shrignold.</p>
<p>“There are no gods here but me.”</p>
<p>.......</p>
<p>After sending Shrignold’s body to the machine, Roy wiped off his screwdriver. He thought about what would happen with Malcolm now. He’d completely wasted his chance with the Love Cult, especially now that he’d taken away one of the king’s aspects. He wondered how long it would take Malcolm to notice, or would he feel it right away? What would it feel like, what would it...</p>
<p>Roy looked into the distance and spotted the three returning from the woods just in time. He walked out the front door and waited patiently for them to arrive. His son ran clumsily up to him and jumped in his arms, trembling. He looked at his dear rat’s face.</p>
<p>A black goo remained around his left eye.</p>
<p>Perhaps he hadn’t wasted his chance completely.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0037"><h2>37. Tony the Talking Clock Chapter 1: The Clock In History</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>why is the skeleton in the shoe</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Tony the Talking Clock was one of the worst out there. Corruption is a powerful biomechanism of objects. And he used it to it’s fullest extent. Of course... considering the scenario from which he was created, it was almost an inevitability that he turned out like this.</p>
<p>......</p>
<p>When the universe we are observing in this story started, there was Father Time. He sat in waiting for billions of years, for something, ANYTHING, to happen. Other creatures of his caliber were formed during that time, like Mother Nature and Primordial Soup. Some creatures already existed, like me. But he was the one that made sure any of it was able to happen, because he was that from which time flowed.</p>
<p>As the planet that resembles our universe’s earth was formed, the interesting thing he was waiting for finally started to happen. Minuscule life was indeed beginning to spring forth and over a much shorter period of time, sentience began to arise. Other eternal beings were already in the process of creating their OWN sentiences to match, in the form of gods and spirits. Father Time didn’t want to be left out, of course, so he made his own god of time. His son would be able to portray the immense power of time in a way that a mortal could understand. And that was Kronos.</p>
<p>For a while, the two exercised their will upon earth casually, giving humanoid form to time in a way that the prehistoric humans and objects could understand. But Kronos grew lonely, and wanted to follow in his father’s footsteps in more ways than one. And so, right around the time when historical records were beginning to take hold in society, Kronos formed a son of his own.</p>
<p>He was a mortal boy, a clock object. But it didn’t take very long at all for him to be influenced by his immortal relatives in ways that normal people would consider... negative. Corruption is fickle, but considering how early in history this was, he was likely one of THE first recorded object corruptions.</p>
<p>Corruption stops your aging, giving you eternal longevity. That is the first step. The second is physical mutations. The only consistent one is that your dark blue inky body sours into a pure black. There are other potential mutations however, and the chances increase the longer you live. The third step is developing a set of powers. The longer you exist, the more powerful you grow, and the more you can hone your abilities. Now you would think that these benefits would cause more objects to intentionally corrupt themselves, but they are a naturally good hearted species. That’s why this even causes mutations in the first place, as opposed to humans.</p>
<p>Tony became corrupt over 5000 years ago. He didn’t look a day past 40. One wouldn’t be able to tell at first glance, but a mutation of his was his extra pair of arms, tucked hidden in his clothes. Unsurprisingly, he developed time powers. With one hand he could freeze time, with another reverse, another could speed up, and the last could erase.</p>
<p>Tony the Talking Clock spent his existence throughout almost all of history toying with object and human kind. He was like a myth or a legend, a tall creature that could kill you in an instant or turn you old and young with the twist of his hands. A disturbing man that caused chaos where ever he arrived and left only a few alive, and only for the sake of spreading his legend. He cemented himself as one of ancient time’s greatest mythical monsters, and certainly didn’t stop there.</p>
<p>As humanity progressed, he too found new ways to toy with others. While everyone grew more organized, he turned from a hulking monster to a sneaky cryptid of the night, sowing disruption where he could. People who feared him would evacuate their homes the moment a rumor of his presence blew in. The more brave souls tried to kill him or fight back, to very little avail. Tony had suffered enough near death experiences to know that a knife to the chest was indeed survivable. The truly twisted humans and objects out there might approach him with payment and ask him to kill those they disliked. He quite enjoyed these, and gladly disposed his services upon those deranged enough to agree with him.</p>
<p>The world got bigger and bigger and disasters got worse and worse and he continued to stoke the flames at every opportunity. Any war he could dip his hands into, any natural disaster he could worsen, any injustice he could perpetuate, he would at any cost. For what else could he do with his life? He didn’t know. There was nothing else he knew but this, so why would he even try an option he refused to acknowledge as existing? He disregarded any form of affection as nonsense, even from his own family, and ESPECIALLY from other humans and objects. What use could he have for it, when he was already above everyone?</p>
<p>He was the highest form of life, he told himself. He could do whatever he wanted with whoever he wanted because it was well within his rights. He was smarter, more talented, more powerful, more handsome, more wise, more cruel, more AMAZING than any other creature in all of history, he insisted.</p>
<p>And yet still, something creeped up on him slowly.</p>
<p>He felt a strange emotion as his atrocities progressed. That he was... doing something wrong perhaps. But that was ridiculous, he was NEVER wrong. Maybe he was just being too immature, after all, he WAS 3,300 years old now. His father was already in the business of godlihood at that age. Or maybe he was just getting burnout. Being an agent of chaos and destruction using the unthrottled power of time was pretty exhausting after so long. Perhaps he just needed a short break.</p>
<p>And so in the 1700s, Tony the Talking Clock decided to go on murder rehabilitation, much to the enjoyment of his more mortal family members. He laid low for a long time, merely observing the world as it jolted itself through the colonial age and the industrial revolution. He felt a serene yet miserable calm as he waited for his silly emotions to go away.</p>
<p>One day, he did break his probation, but only for a little bit! He was eating at a nice restaurant in Serbia when he saw a young human down on his luck, saying he just failed an assassination. Tony decided to give the man a little pep talk, it wasn’t all that bad, there’ll be other chances! Soon after that, World War 1 broke out.</p>
<p>Tony waited further throughout the 20th century, being terribly miserable that he couldn’t contribute to nuclear weaponry. However, as the 21st century rolled around, the rest of his family grew more interested in him. He seemingly cooled down enough to include him in other events. Perhaps now would be a good time to reach out to him...</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0038"><h2>38. Tony the Talking Clock Chapter 2: The Family Reunion</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>wow i zoned out and forgot to add the title</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Tony received a letter one nice morning in 2011. It was an invitation from his family! He hadn’t ever gotten mail from anyone unless it was absolute psychopaths cloying for his attention DESPITE the fact that he was on a break from murder. This was a... pleasant(?) surprise.</p><p>The Kronos family reunion was coming up (even though Kronos himself never actually attended) and they said that, thanks to his improvements in attitude and general lack of evil, he was invited to come visit. Tony couldn’t help but scoff. Really now? A family reunion? Didn’t he have better things to...</p><p>Tony glanced at the letter in his hand and turned around to look at his house. It was dark and empty and silent. He’d been waiting and doing nothing for ages now. Quietly collecting dust like a worthless trophy on a mantle.</p><p>After all, he reasoned with himself, it only made sense to attend. He was THE first Kronos family member. He was the first child, and the one that’s lasted the longest. It wouldn’t be a REAL family reunion without him, and he could show all those worthless wastes of godly DNA what a REAL time relative looked like.</p><p>Besides, it’s not like it would be all that bad.</p><p>........</p><p>This was awful.</p><p>Tony hunkered down in a corner of the house in absolute disgust. There were so many... PEOPLE here! So many lesser creatures, so many idiots, so many modern folk. Everyone and everything was so loud and STUPID. There were children running around and screaming at each other. “Adults” standing around making idle talk about worthless things and worthless people. Droning on in those HORRID voices of theirs. Even the food here BARELY made up for it. He could make better Yoylecake in his sleep!</p><p>“Honestly, they’re heathens, the lot of them,” Tony muttered under his breath. It took all his might to not stop time and just stab everyone in the eye. But he had to remind himself. He was better than that.</p><p>Wasn’t he?</p><p>Tony sighed and retreated to another room with less people, although he seemed to have the worst luck of the party following him. He made sure to shove anyone who got in his path out of the way with just a bit more force than necessary, and luckily no one had the foolishness to retaliate.</p><p>He settled down in a chair and let his eyes unfocus, disassociating and just letting the conversation pass through him as he thought about other, more important things. His mind jumped from one thought to the next, new things popping in as he remembered some random fact or took a glance at something in the room. After only a little while though, something in the room caught his attention.</p><p>“...and I’m gonna be on the biggest object show of all time!”</p><p>Tony shook his head out of his stupor and glanced at the person who said that. It was one of his many, MANY younger cousins. He was rambling excitedly to one of the humans in the room.</p><p>He’d heard of object shows before. He’d even watched a few and they piqued his interest, mostly because they allowed for constant murder in order to win. And REAL murder too, not any of that fake actor stuff. Sometimes he’d thought about attending one as an excuse to kill people but he’d dismissed it. He didn’t need to appear on television. Not yet.</p><p>“What’s the show?” he found himself asking without even thinking about it.</p><p>The boy blinked his eyes in confusion before turning his gaze towards Tony. He looked him up and down and all over before asking, “Uh... who are you?”</p><p>Tony’s face clenched into a distorted, strained smile in an attempt to hide his fury. Through clenched teeth he sputtered, “I’m Tony. Tony the Talking Clock. What’s. Your. Name?”</p><p>“Oh, I think I’ve heard of you before. Sorry, I just didn’t recognize you. My name’s Clock!” The boy thrust out his hand for a shake which Tony “politely” declined.</p><p>“Seriously? Clock. That’s your name.”</p><p>“Well, I’m sorry but it’s what I am! I’m not anything special, I’m just a clock, so that’s my name!” he folded his arms in annoyance.</p><p>This... this absolute buffoon had the audacity to be angry at him? Tony was already regretting this conversation. Nevertheless, he felt some dumb need to continue it.</p><p>“So, what were you saying about being on an object show?”</p><p>“OH! Well, I’m gonna be on B.F.D.I. and I’m gonna compete and hopefully I’ll get voted on and win the prize, I mean technically I’m not actually on it guaranteed yet but there’s no way I’m gonna lose and-“</p><p>Tony’s eyes glazed over as Clock’s voice turned into fuzz. Was the universe punishing him for not killing people? Was this what he got for trying to add some excitement to his life? Why did he even attend this reunion. The only person he would’ve cared to see never showed up anyways.</p><p>“-and are you even listening?”</p><p>Tony felt Clock shove his arm and he snapped out of his stupor to glare down at him. Clock quickly shifted from a playful smile to nervousness at the look.</p><p>“I don’t very much care for what you have to say, dear cousin.” Tony’s voice dripped with venom.</p><p>“I- y’know it’s not very nice to ask someone something and then get annoyed when they talk about it!”</p><p>“Hmph, I asked because I thought it would be interesting, but you clearly misled me in that department.”</p><p>“Wh- I- Are you serious!?” Clock stood up, which didn’t really do much for his height. “First of all, that's extremely mean of you to say, I was trying to talk with you! Second of all, I beg to TICKING differ! I’m gonna win an entire island that will bend to my hearts content, can you say that?” Clock thrusted his finger in Tony’s face.</p><p>The tall object smirked and pushed it away. “I don’t need some island to validate myself.” Clock groaned, “Oh yeah? Well I’m not gonna let you on when I win.” Tony rolled his eyes, although he had to admit, this boy was starting to get on his nerves. The other people in the room were starting to file out due to the sheer tension and awkwardness. Tony stood up as well, towering over the boy.</p><p>“You’re starting to irritate me, my dear cousin. Perhaps you should just leave,” he gestured to the door.</p><p>Clock’s fists clenched as he glared up at Tony before averting his gaze. “No. I’m not leaving until you apologize.” He tried to lower his voice and calm down, but a distinct shakiness could still be heard.</p><p>“And why should I do that? I don’t owe anyone anything, especially not someone like you.”</p><p>“What makes you think you’re so much better than everyone else?”</p><p>“I know I am.”</p><p>“WELL YOU’RE NOT!! You know what I’ve heard about you? I didn’t want to believe it; I didn’t think anyone could be that horrid, I thought it was just nonsense, especially when you were acting so normal at first! But no! You really are some sad, stupid, lonely little dummy that doesn’t even have the decency to-“</p><p>Tony grabbed Clock by the wrist and dragged him out the room. He was excited. If he was gonna break his streak, he might as well make it fun.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0039"><h2>39. Tony the Talking Clock Chapter 3: He's Been Disarmed</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>uwaaaaaaaaaaaaa these chapters are getting easier and easier to edit because they're actually okay</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Tony dragged Clock into one of the empty rooms and threw him on the floor, slamming the door behind him.</p>
<p>“Wh- what are you do-“</p>
<p>Tony crushed his foot down on his cousin’s neck before he could even finish his sentence. His face distorted itself forcefully from a disgusting grimace to a gleeful smile. He grabbed one of Clock’s wrists and pressed his shoe down harder.</p>
<p>“You know, I heard that there are plenty of objects on that show that have missing limbs. I’m sure you’ll fit right in with the rest of them...” He began tugging on Clock’s arm, pulling it upwards slowly.</p>
<p>“W- wait- please please! I’m sorry, I’m sorry-“ Clock barely choked out. He tried to maneuver his free arm and legs into an advantageous position, but he didn’t have enough strength or height to overturn the taller object.</p>
<p>As Tony inched the arm slowly towards him, and as it painstakingly tore from its socket, he burst one of his extra arms from his waistcoat. It grabbed hold of Clock’s upper arm and turned clockwise. One of Tony’s special abilities was about to be very useful.</p>
<p>As his hand turned around the arm again and again, the inky skin that it drew over began to decay and rot. It allowed itself to stretch and pull unnaturally thin, so much so that the dark blue ink was stretched into a light, almost white blue. Clock couldn’t withhold his screams any longer and Tony was forced to crush down on his mouth, breaking his jaw slightly in the process.</p>
<p>The decaying of the extended skin finally caused it to break, and Clock’s left arm came free from his body. Tony flew backwards from the final tear and the arm flew out of his hands, ink spraying all over the room.</p>
<p>Tony stood up in a dazed state for a moment as he processed that he’d finally be back on his path. He’d FINALLY be able to hurt freely again! Meanwhile, Clock gasped and squeaked in shock. He tried to roll over and prop himself up with his remaining arm. Maybe he could escape while Tony was still frozen in excitement. That hope was swiftly crushed as his older cousin slammed Clock’s head against the ground and murmured, “We’re not done yet my dear cousin, do you think I’d let you suffer in asymmetry?”</p>
<p>Tony soon repeated his torture with Clock’s other arm, although at this point his dear relative was too pained and exhausted to even scream. Tony didn’t derive as much enjoyment from that, although there was at least some sort of interest to be found in them once they're broken. It just wasn’t his personal taste. Nonetheless, when he’d finished his fun, he made sure to admire his handiwork.</p>
<p>Clock was writhing on the ground as Tony looked over both him and the arm he held in his hands. Serotonin and euphoria rushed through his brain as he prospected on all the chaos he’d wreak once he unleashed himself on the world. Unfortunately for him, he didn’t have much time to ponder as he heard footsteps rapidly approach the room, followed by the door swinging open violently.</p>
<p>Tony was greeted by a large number and variety of his relatives gawking at the sight before them. They didn’t have any time to process it however, as Tony immediately flung forward his right arm and twisted it counterclockwise. Time ground to a halt and he could get away without so much as a scratch. He wouldn’t have much time(?) to get away though, so he’d better savor it.</p>
<p>Tony opted to simply drop the arm he’d held. It wasn’t like they could reattach it anyways. He gracefully weaved his way through the maze of family members frozen in a single moment, before climbing out a window and taking off into the night. As he sped through the wilderness, he couldn’t help but smile at the shrieks he heard in the distance.</p>
<p>.......</p>
<p>Tony the Talking Clock was quite happy with his life. He no longer felt like a waste of existence, nor as a pathetic fool. He knew for a fact he was above all of that stupid self loathing nonsense. It turned out that all he needed WAS a break. Murder burnout is a fickle mistress.</p>
<p>Regardless, he couldn’t keep it up forever, and he knew that as well. He knew that one way or another, he’d be stopped again. Whether that be by burnout or getting caught by a rapidly advancing society. He needed an out eventually.</p>
<p>Luckily for everyone involved, he’d soon find one. Or rather, it would find him.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0040"><h2>40. Tony the Talking Clock Chapter 4: A Peaceable Encounter</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>mmmm my fingerless gloves smell like oranges</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Tony idly ambled down the road with a sort of air about him. The kind that seems average from a distance but up close you can certainly tell that he was looking for trouble. He’d just finished up another murder and he was simply craving an excuse to continue. Perhaps his next victim would be whoever that strange force following him was.</p>
<p>Oh, right. Tony thought someone was stalking him. It wouldn’t be the first time; perhaps it was some sort of fanatical maniac. Or maybe a vigilante who’s streak of justice would soon be cut short. Regardless, the clock man was absolutely certain that someone was trailing his steps. And they had been for the past few hours.</p>
<p>He first sensed their presence when he killed that human a little bit ago. Something about the shadows seemed wrong. If his theories were correct, Tony was sure that his little stalker would show themself more the next time he killed someone, so all he had to do was find a new victim.</p>
<p>His wish came true when he spotted some miscellaneous thugs in an alleyway. Mortals were always so predictable.</p>
<p>“Hello there gentlemen,” Tony began. The group turned their heads towards him. They looked... vaguely confused.</p>
<p>“What’dya want?”</p>
<p>“I would apologize, but quite frankly, I’m not sorry.” Tony folded his hands and grinned.</p>
<p>“For what?”</p>
<p>“For this.”</p>
<p>Two arms burst out of Tony’s jacket, about halfway down his torso. He pulled himself into a stance in preparation and threw forward his second left hand, turning it counterclockwise. The human the hand fell in front of began recoiling in pain and collapsing in on themself as the other two backed away in horror. The human twisted and writhed and bent over in itself until it de-aged into absolute nothingness save for a few splatters of blood.</p>
<p>One of the remaining thugs shook themself out of shock and whipped their hand into their pocket, pulling out a gun. They shot directly at Tony’s head but just before the bullet reached its mark, the clock snapped with his first right hand and ground time to a halt. With the bullet frozen in midair, Tony simply walked up to it and flicked it upside down, facing his opponent. Tony then took his remaining seconds of stopped time to walk behind the remaining victim and positioned himself just right.</p>
<p>Time flowed once again, sending the bullet right into the thug’s head. With that dealt with, Tony snapped the last one’s neck before they could even process what happened. He chuckled to himself and looked out to the exit of the alleyway.</p>
<p>“I assume I’m meeting your expectations?”</p>
<p>“Perceptive, aren’t you?” Roy replied.</p>
<p>.......</p>
<p>The man’s explanation of his offer was extremely intriguing to Tony. This was no simple lunatic, this was a complete nutcase. And that case evidently contained a lot of money! It didn’t take much convincing or explaining for Tony to sign on.</p>
<p>The car ride to Roy’s house was filled with interesting discussions. Tony wouldn’t have taken someone who looked so disheveled to be so intuitive, but he greatly welcomed the surprise. The man’s description of his fake world, where he could control everything was very fascinating indeed, and the prospect that Tony would be able to shape it to his will was even more so. He almost didn’t care that he had to follow a script for this mysterious job.</p>
<p>Roy’s mindset was also interesting for the clock to pick through. He was obviously completely delusional, and why he was hiring him was even more insane, but he had to wonder: if Roy was so crazy, then why was he able to pull all this off in the first place? The kind of man who tortures his own children to this extent because they got on his nerves wasn’t generally the sort of person who could create a virtual world and pay exorbitant amounts of money...</p>
<p>He would be suspicious, but the fact that the world Roy described proved to be real removed all doubts in his mind. He liked this. He really REALLY liked this!</p>
<p>........</p>
<p>“And you have the script memorized?”</p>
<p>“Yes, yes I do.”</p>
<p>“That was fast.”</p>
<p>“Indeed it was. But I pride myself on my brain power.”</p>
<p>“You just slowed down time for yourself so you could work faster.”</p>
<p>“Ehehe... perhaps...” Hmmph, he was good.</p>
<p>“Well, I hope you work well with my sons. I’m sure they’ll just love you.” Roy’s face cracked into an unnaturally wide smile. “They’re such monstrous little boys, they’ll match with you perfectly.”</p>
<p>“Is that so...” Tony couldn’t help but mentally roll his eyes. He doubted some random kids would actually be bad enough to compare to him.</p>
<p>“Yessss... yes they are...” Roy’s voice lowered to a grovel. His eyes rolled back into his skull for a split second before returning to normal and he furrowed his eyebrows.</p>
<p>Tony, for the first time in a very long time, felt uncomfortable. Still, that was impressive. Roy managed to illicit fresh emotion from him.</p>
<p>“Well, I suppose we’ll find out tomorrow, won’t we?” he smiled.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0041"><h2>41. Tony the Talking Clock Chapter 5: DHMIS 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>you should watch scootertrix abridged</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The world beat like a heart.</p>
<p>“There’s always time for a song,” he announced, looking over his victims for the first time. They were clearly shocked. Yet somehow, not surprised enough.</p>
<p>“...what, who is that?” the tallest one muttered anxiously.</p>
<p>There’s a dance move called the golly gee where you rest one hand on your hip, and swing the other back and forth whilst bent at the elbow. It was Tony’s favorite move.</p>
<p>“Time is a tool you can put on the wall or wear it on your ‘rizd.’ The past is far behind us, the future doesn’t exist...”</p>
<p>Tony didn’t much care that what he said was a little off from the truth about time, he was having fun already. There was some sort of innate, childish fun in singing a silly song like this. But the best was yet to come, he thought as he scrubbed the back of the child so hard that it bled and dirtied the water brown.</p>
<p>The world soon turned from the inside of a house to space. Just straight up space. It fit his beautiful, MAGNIFICENT operatic singing, as he continued his inane and bouncing rhymes.</p>
<p>“But we don’t really want to. We’re going to miss our show.”</p>
<p>“Don’t be STUPID friends! Come on, it’s Time to go!”</p>
<p>He thought that the top hat fit him quite well. Perhaps he should wear it more often. Frankly though, he wanted to rush this part of the song, the Victorian times were not his favorite.</p>
<p>Now the outdoors were very pretty, even if everything looked slightly fake. Tony turned around and nearly had half a heart attack at the sight of the shortest one breaking a tree in half and lifting it over himself. He swiftly moved the song along, making sure to melt the middle child’s apple in front of him, followed soon by karate chopping his card castle. He remembered Roy specifically telling him to be as rude as possible to that child.</p>
<p>Speaking of which, he turned around once again to see Roy spawning out of nowhere, holding hands with the smallest one. When he’d read that part of the script, it mentioned nothing about... ah well whatever.</p>
<p>“And then what happened after the olden days?”</p>
<p>Space again! Fun fun fun, terribly enjoyable! Tony almost remembered what it was like to not be an ancient eldritch abomination. But there was no Time for that, he had to pick up the pace of the song! OH MY, that’s an odd machine! Roy will you please stop interrupting? Thank you, I’m trying to get to the best part as fast as possible.</p>
<p>He sat back for a little bit as the three children said their part of the song, although it occurred to Tony how odd it was that they... knew what to say... No, it was too strange of lyrics, surely they’re just improvising. Yes, they're all just wonderfully good at improv music.</p>
<p>“Now you can see the importance of Time, it helps us make pizzer and keeps things in line.”</p>
<p>“But when did it start?” “And when will it stop?”</p>
<p>“Time is important and I am a clock.”</p>
<p>“If we run out of time, then where does it go?”</p>
<p>“Is time even real; does anyone know?”</p>
<p>“Maybe time’s just a construct of human perception. An illusion created by-“</p>
<p>Excuse me?! What the fuck?! Tony thought to himself calmly, as he screamed into their ears repeatedly. How dare they even INSINUATE such a ghastly idea! It took all his being to not tear the place asunder! But no no no we’ve got to move on to the-</p>
<p>“Sunrise, sunset, night and day. The changing seasons, the smell of hay. Look at your hair grow, isn’t it strange? How time makes your appearance change.”</p>
<p>Oh yes, this was it. Tony slowly twisted his hands around as he held them folded behind his back. He slowly stepped between the trio and watched them slowly rot away. The tallest one’s hair was curling and melting into a sickly grey. The shortest one’s face seemed to melt in to an amorphous blob, as the middle one’s skin peeled of his hands and eyes popped out of his sockets. Tony calmly and coldly smiled at them, making sure to take in each minute detail. They started toppling off their chairs and lolling over dead on the hardwood floor.</p>
<p>Tony’s smile faltered slightly. “It’s out of my hands, I’m only a clock. Don’t worry, I’m sure you’ll be fine. But eventually everyone runs out of time-“</p>
<p>Tony’s head suddenly felt as if it was filled with thousands of bees. Like static had replaced every slab of brain matter. Then he was alone in a different room.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0042"><h2>42. Tony the Talking Clock Finale: My Greatest Apologies</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>ladiidadiidadiidayoh oh ladiida oh where did all the good times go </p>
<p>the end for tony. we're on to the last teacher &gt;:) </p>
<p>and things will change then.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Ohhhhh, MY that was exhilarating!” Tony motioned jerkily. Roy had done... something to bring him to the living room as soon as the song had ended. “I haven’t done something so... FUN in eons!”</p>
<p>“Glad to hear it.”</p>
<p>“Mhmhmhm, how DO you come up with this sort of thing? Why? Actually, no that’s not even- Just, all I want to say Roy, is thank you. Genuinely, you have made my year you absolute maniac!” His classic enormous grin spread across his face.</p>
<p>“Is that so? Well then, I suppose you won’t mind following me for your reward.”</p>
<p>“Oh no of COURSE not! I’d nearly forgotten, this experience was a reward in and of itself!”</p>
<p>Roy smiled at the floor and shot a quick glance towards Tony before beckoning him out of the room. He was much more prepared for it this time. The tall man thought back to the last freak he hired, and how disastrously he’d handled it. He’d do better, he had to, he thought as he swung open the large metal door.</p>
<p>Tony’s eyes adjusted to the darkness as the door slammed shut behind him. He glanced around the mostly empty room before resting his eyes on a strange, half finished looking machine. Tony couldn’t help but marvel at it.</p>
<p>“What is that?”</p>
<p>“It’s another project of mine. It... sort of has to do with your job.”</p>
<p>“Hmm, explain!” Tony ordered as he paced about the room, keeping his curious eye on the machine.</p>
<p>“Well, obviously I need to teach my children some lessons. Sure, I can hire people like you for it. I can make a script and ask you to do it for me. But that’s just not as easy as I want it to be...”</p>
<p>Tony nodded along, inspecting the humongous tubes behind the machine.</p>
<p>“I can control some things in this world, sure. But two layers down... I’ll be able to do whatever I want. I can create objects, create LIFE, and I can control their every move... And I can teach my sons so perfectly...” Roy subconsciously folded his hands and smiled at nothing.</p>
<p>“Unfortunately, it’s not ready for humans yet. I can’t put my sons in there for a while.”</p>
<p>Tony walked back around to Roy and placed a hand on his shoulder, smiling. “What a terrible shame. You have such an innovative mind dear sir. I can’t wait to see it done. You’ll have to invite me over some time so I can see it in action; your plan sounds quite fascinating indeed.”</p>
<p>“I wasn’t finished yet. I said it’s not ready for humans. But it is ready for objects.” Roy reached into his pocket.</p>
<p>“What?”</p>
<p>“Sure, objects I make on my own will suffice. But REAL ones, YOU... you’ll be even more useful when you’re dead.”</p>
<p>Tony shoved Roy away from him flicked out his hand. Crap, he should’ve seen this coming! What kind of maniac like Roy would just let him go?! Time slowed to a stop and Tony caught his breath before heading to the door. As soon as time began to flow however, he felt an intense pain in his hand and saw that Roy had already thrown a screwdriver right where he knew Tony would run to.</p>
<p>Tony tore the tool out of his hand and tried to stop time again to no avail. His hand was completely useless now! Roy bolted towards him, another screwdriver in hand and jabbed it right under Tony’s ribcage. He kicked him away and painfully slid down the wall. Still holding the first screwdriver, he tried to throw it right between Roy’s eyes, but was too filled with panic and adrenaline to aim correctly. Tony burst another arm out of his jacket and tried to speed up time so that Roy would die but before he even had a second to start the process, he found a screwdriver pinning his arm uselessly to the wall.</p>
<p>Tony’s chest heaved as ink spurted out of his wounds. How could he have been tricked so easily?! Was he loosing his touch? He was the master of trickery and destruction, he couldn’t go out like this!</p>
<p>“Y- you son of a-“</p>
<p>“I wouldn’t finish that sentence. It might sour my mood. I’m going to make your death quick, it’s the least I can do for someone as excellent as you.” Roy smiled again. It was a different smile than before. It looked so... content. “You’re going to be a great asset to me, Tony the Talking Clock.”</p>
<p>Tony felt an intense and overwhelming sense of doom. There was nothing he could do about this! He was going to die, and there was no way out of it. He’d never given thought to it because he’d never come this close, but he quickly realized that the thought of dying terrified him. Utter horror drenched his body. That would be a first.</p>
<p>And a last.</p>
<p>Roy drove the screwdriver straight into Tony’s skull and yanked it out. That was a bit grotesque looking, but it worked out wonderfully. Roy was excited. For the first time, it felt like his plan would actually work!</p>
<p>Shame about that first attempt though.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0043"><h2>43. Paige Chapter 1: Suffering</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>ooh ahh YOU KNOW HER?? do you own or desire to own portal 2</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Paige was a very lonely object. It wasn’t because they wanted to be alone, they actually quite enjoyed other people and craved desperately to have friends. It was simply because no one wanted to be around them. They didn’t quite understand why though. They didn’t think, or could even recall ever doing anything wrong. But still, people seemed to hate them automatically, from the moment they said their name.</p>
<p>Even though Paige was alone very often, they tried to not let it put a damper on their morale. They loved to draw, and always brought a sketchbook with them every day, the very object they were based on. They tried to seclude themself away from the inside of the neighborhood, where no one could find them. It was safer that way. They’d sit under a tree for hours coming up with all sorts of ideas, and drawing from nature. Even though they were 16, they didn’t spend much time in school. It was safer that way. The only person that was nice to Paige was their dad. There wasn’t anyone else around to be nice. Whenever they wanted to go home for the day, they’d take a secret route. It was safer that way.</p>
<p>Paige folded their sketchbook closed and shoved their pencil in the pocket of their skirt. The sun began to lower beneath the line of trees. It was time to go home.</p>
<p>The little object snuck out of the park and crawled on top of a brick wall, using the divots between the bricks as hooks for their fingers, like rock climbing. Once they reached the top, they teetered precariously as they walked across the thin wall. Paige had to be fast though, this was the most open part of the route, and someone could easily knock them off with any number of projectiles. It did cause them a slight bit of anxiety every time they went home.</p>
<p>Paige heaved themself onto the roof of an apartment building and sprinted across it, taking great joy in hopping across the tops of the buildings on the way home. It was like a game to them, except with slightly higher stakes. It had been so many years since they’d mapped out this route that they knew every little inch of these roofs and could speed across them without so much as tripping. On their best days, they could get home in under 10 minutes. Paige turned their head to watch the sun pass below the horizon in all its beauty. They would stop to watch, but then someone might see them.</p>
<p>Paige hopped off the final building and wrapped themself around a gutter, sliding down like a fireman into their backyard. They’d always had a strange fascination with fire, even though as a paper based object it would hurt them even more than normal.</p>
<p>Paige swung open the back door dramatically. “I’m HOOOOME!”</p>
<p>“Hello sweetheart! Did you make any good breakthroughs with your art?”</p>
<p>“Mm, not really,” Paige shrugged as they brushed the dust off their shirt.</p>
<p>“And... did you get in any trouble?”</p>
<p>Paige’s face fell and they paused before shaking their head no.</p>
<p>“...Well, can I see your sketchbook?”</p>
<p>“Yeah, sure.” They casually tossed the book in their dad’s general direction.</p>
<p>“Gosh, you just get better every day,” he marveled as he flipped through each page. “I still don’t get how you do it!”</p>
<p>“You only say that cuz your my dad though,” they smiled.</p>
<p>He handed it back to his child. “True, but that doesn’t mean you’re not good.”</p>
<p>Paige rolled their eyes and walked up the stairs to their bedroom. As they flicked on the light switch, their eyes were immediately drawn to the brick resting on the floor, followed by the shattered window above their bed.</p>
<p>“Well that’s just great...” Paige picked up the brick and untied the message written on it. “Honestly, they could at least come up with a more creative or original method. Why does it have to be a brick?”</p>
<p>Their eyes passively scanned the note before reading something that made their heart stop.</p>
<p>“Crap... OH CRAP!”</p>
<p>Paige thrust their drawer open and shoved a pair of scissors into their pocket, self defense and all, before sprinting out the room and jumping all the way down the stairs.</p>
<p>“What’re you so in a rush fo-“</p>
<p>“Uh- I FORGOT SOMETHING AT THE TREE I GOTTA GO GET IT BE RIGHT BACK-“</p>
<p>“Why are you bringing your sketchbook?”</p>
<p>“Uh- oh, I totally didn’t even notice I was still holding it would you look at that, isn’t that funny? Well might as well bring it anyways hey ACTUALLY!” Paige pivoted themself and pointed at their dad. “Why don’t you go to the store right now! We’re outta.... MILK! And eggs! Go get those two things!”</p>
<p>“Uh... alright?” Paige’s dad picked up his wallet off the counter. “Are you sure you’re okay?”</p>
<p>“Yes I am, I’m just thinking about the thing I left!” Paige began shoving their dad out the front door. “Anyways, see you later I love you goodbye!” And with that they burst out the back door and raced across the roofs once again.</p>
<p>.......</p>
<p>Paige was well past the park, and the town, at this point, but they had to get as far away as possible. They clutched their ribs as a stitch shot through them and they curled up on the ground. Thankfully, they were at the edge of a wood on the outskirts of town. Surely no one would bother them here. Paige hazarded a glance to see what state their house was in.</p>
<p>They spotted a fire flaring up right in the middle of town. Looks like they made good on their threat after all. At least their dad was safe...</p>
<p>Paige found themself gasping for breath and they forced themself to stand up. This... this wasn’t.... they couldn’t do this anymore. They couldn’t get anyone hurt because everyone else hated them, even if they didn’t know why.</p>
<p>They had to leave. Find a new home. Alone.</p>
<p>At least the others got what they wanted. Paige was now out of town. Permanently.</p>
<p>The little object pressed their hand against their heart. Their pulse was erratic, like a train running across a railroad track. They groaned in frustration and leaned against a tree trunk.</p>
<p>“At least things can only go up from here...”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0044"><h2>44. Paige Chapter 2: Suffering Some More</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>ah my spine. i've been working for ages</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“We can’t accept you.”</p>
<p>“What? Why?!”</p>
<p>Paige fidgeted with their hands before shoving them into their lap to try and keep them still. Three years since the arson incident and this was the farthest they’d ever made it in a job interview. Please, PLEASE I can’t keep living like this!</p>
<p>“You know exactly why,” the human enunciated, tipping their glasses below their gaze.</p>
<p>“N- no? I don’t, actually.”</p>
<p>The human sighed and straightened the papers on her desk. “It would look awful for the company as a whole if we were to hire someone in your... condition.” That last word hung in the air, although Paige wasn’t sure what they were implying by that.</p>
<p>“But... I promise I can work hard! I really can, I’ll get anything I need to done! If it’s really that much of a problem then you can just keep me hidden, right? I can still-“</p>
<p>The human pressed a finger to Paige’s mouth, shutting them up. “I’m going to have to ask you to leave.”</p>
<p>Paige felt something gross and sickly run through their veins. They’d felt it many times before, but had always managed to push it back. Like when you’re about to vomit but you swallow the bile. They subconsciously felt their hand reach towards their pocket where the scissors rested.</p>
<p>“Please... I don’t have anything...”</p>
<p>“I’m not changing my answer. Now GO.” The human stood up and shoved Paige out the door. As they walked down the hall, they heard one of the employees mutter, “I don’t know why THOSE sort of objects think they can fool us. They should stick to working in cults and shit...”</p>
<p>"Yeah, you'd think they'd be more clever, considering what they've done..."</p>
<p>...................</p>
<p>Paige curled up against a tree in the middle of a clearing in the middle of the woods. There was always a wood to live in. And it was an okay place to be in if one was homeless.</p>
<p>Of course, that didn’t exactly make their life any easier.</p>
<p>Paige’s stomach grumbled with the force of approximately 60 lion roars and they tried to curl up in a ball to muffle it somehow. Crap, it really was about time to go on a food run. But uh... they didn’t exactly have many options left.</p>
<p>The object spotted a squirrel running past them and thought to themself, “How much nutritional value does a squirrel have? How much does a squirrel have to be cooked before it’s edible? Would I be able to make a fire without using my sketchbook pages? Would I have to use parts of my hair or face? I mean I could always grow that back but I’m not sure how to make a fire with right proper wood.”</p>
<p>“Wait a minute, maybe there’s a book in the library that can teach me how to make fire, and maybe how to cook a squirrel! Right! I can just sneak into the library and find the right book! Oh... but... If I’m already going to be sneaking in somewhere... I might as well go and steal some food from the store and skip the squirrel altogether.”</p>
<p>A sharp noise resounded through the trees. Paige whipped their head around, their short, multicolored hair flapping around in the wind. They were certain they spotted someone in the trees. Or maybe they heard someone? They weren’t quite sure...</p>
<p>“I’m sure the universe won’t mind if I steal something just this once. After all, it is the one who put me in this situation.” They stood headed off towards the outskirts of the city again. “Besides, I won’t be taking all that much, probably just a few fruits or some cooked meat. That’s got a lot of calories probably!”</p>
<p>........</p>
<p>Paige hopped on top of the dumpster and crawled in to the store through the little window at the top of the wall. They face planted directly on the corner and flipped themself backwards in a bridge shape, landing on their feet and standing upright again. “Nailed it!”</p>
<p>They slid along the walls out of sight of the security cameras and into the open area of the store. First step down, now time to get some food. Paige sidled up to the fruit stand and subtly shoved a few small apples in their pockets. Checking the perimeter for any witnesses, they carefully edged closer to the potatoes and swiped a rather dinky looking one. Surely no one would mind if they took one of the worse ones right?</p>
<p>Correct! No one suspected a thing as Paige not-so-casually strutted out the store, waving goodbye to the store clerk and boosting away at sonic speeds once out of sight of the outdoor cameras. Another day, another successful getaway!</p>
<p>..........</p>
<p>Paige stared at their miserable little pile of food. They’d found a completely different squirrel’s carcass and decided to take it anyways. Might as well...</p>
<p>It was so so dark out. Even so, after three years of living in the woods they’d learned how to check the day depending on the stars.</p>
<p>“It’s my birthday today...”</p>
<p>“Happy 19th birthday Paige!” said the apple.</p>
<p>“Yeah, you’re so cool and creative and clever, I’m sure you’ll get a home someday!” continued the squirrel.</p>
<p>“Thanks guys.”</p>
<p>Paige looked up at the stars again. They stood up and felt their body waver from exhaustion and anger. They grabbed at the handles of the scissors, even though there was nothing to cut, and thrust them towards the sky.</p>
<p>There was only one thing on their mind; one thing to say about their situation.</p>
<p>“FUCK YOU! GO FUCK YOURSELF!!”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0045"><h2>45. Paige Chapter 3: Let's Get This Over With</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>video killed the radio star, video killed the radio star, video killed the radio star, oh wa oh</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Paige was aggressively shoved out of the building, forcing them to face plant directly onto the hot pavement. They peeled their face off the road and woozily stood up. Another day, another failure for Paige the poor little object. They just couldn’t seem to find a job! The second anyone heard their name during an interview, they were almost immediately turned away! They just didn’t understand, had they done something wrong? Did they somehow get on a government watch list without realizing? It couldn’t be just because they were an object right? Plenty of objects worked at the companies they were trying to join!</p><p>What was wrong with them?</p><p>Nothing answered them except a growling stomach and a pounding headache. Ugh, things were bad enough as it was... if it kept up like this...</p><p>Paige didn’t want to think about that. There’s no way they’d let themself starve to death. That’s too dumb. Too lame. And there was so much more they wanted to do in life; they couldn’t just sputter out now like a dying flame! It wasn’t fair! It wasn’t...</p><p>The ground swung beneath Paige’s feet, and for the smallest of seconds, they could’ve sworn they saw someone watching them from behind a corner.</p><p>Then they blacked out.</p><p>It didn’t last long though. Not this time at least.</p><p>Paige jolted out of their stupor, finding themself on the ground at the feet of a very tall and very upsetting looking man. A human, by the looks of it, although not like any human Paige had ever seen. He was skeletal and his skin was rancid looking and his hair was stringy and a much more dulled shade of blue than normal. They didn’t like it, not one little bit.</p><p>The man offered them a hand to stand up with. Paige hesitated a moment before accepting.</p><p>“Th... thank you... sir?”</p><p>“You’re welcome, Paige the Sketchbook.”</p><p>Their heart skipped a beat. “How did you almost know my name??”</p><p>The man’s face faltered for a moment, in a way like he realized that he’d answered incorrectly on a test he’d just turned in. The moment passed and he continued in his thin, broken voice, “I’ve been watching you for quite a while Paige. I’ve seen your plight,” he gestured to the objects generally disheveled appearance. “And I would like to help.”</p><p>Watching..? Oh gods... “O- oh... er, thank you mister, but I don’t know if there’s much you can do... and I don’t want to just steal money from random strangers, I-“</p><p>“You misunderstand.”</p><p>The man rested a hand on their shoulder and leaned in. “I have a job for you.”</p><p>Paige almost passed out again, but was saved by the sudden spike of pain shooting through their stomach. A job? Like, a real job? Money? Food?? Oh, maybe even a house one day!! The thoughts raced through their head and they started giggling like a child without realizing it. They soon tipped forward however, being narrowly caught by their new employer.</p><p>“Agh- I’m sorry. I’m not in the best of shape right now,” they slurred drowsily.</p><p>“You’re coming to my house.”</p><p>“H- Huh...?”</p><p>“You’ll be working there anyways. And I can’t have an employee of this condition.”</p><p>Paige couldn’t really focus after that. The last thing they remembered was crawling into the back of a car and curling up to sleep. Maybe they were just being foolish or desperate, but regardless, they would have been disturbed at how easy it was for them to be lured away, if they weren't too miserable to think. </p><p>........</p><p>Paige read over the script as they shoveled sugary sweet cereal into their gaping maw. They had to admit, this wasn’t exactly what they’d imagined, even after they were told they’d be teaching the man’s children. Oh right, ROY'S children. They’d kinda just pictured some sorta live in tutor or something, not... singing? Oh well.</p><p>There were some weird pauses in the script, but Roy HAD promised that the kids would know how to fill in the gaps. They also noticed how the last page seemed to be torn off? Which was suspicious, but not enough for them to leave. Not yet.</p><p>Besides, they weren’t even sure if they knew HOW to leave. The machine this world took place in seemed to really only be controlled by Roy, at least in terms of who could come in or out. Sure, Paige had figured out how to warp things a bit, like Roy said they could. Heck, it was even how they got this wonderful cereal. But they were still perturbed by the lack of apparent exits.</p><p>And the lack of apparent children.</p><p>Where were those kids anyway? Surely they’d do better to teach them once they got to know them better? Paige didn’t understand why Roy felt the need to hide them away. Still, they had a feeling that if they went snooping where they weren’t supposed to, they’d be in big trouble. They might describe the aura coming off of Roy as evil, if they were a meaner person. Paige didn’t consider themself a coward, but they did put high value on their well-being.</p><p>Paige took note of some strange oddities in the script as they scanned it again.</p><p>“Green is not a creative color? Huh. Y’know, they’ve actually done various studies and concluded that it is in fact one of the more creative- who am I talking to?”</p><p>The object suddenly felt a bizarre oppressive atmosphere weigh down on them, as if the room was shrinking and also filling the air with a deadly gas. Their lungs felt weak and empty, like they weren’t filling up enough. Their heart raced and pounded and their eyes watered and-</p><p>And as soon as it had started, it was over.</p><p>Roy opened up the door behind Paige, giving them a minor heart attack.</p><p>“You’ll be performing soon,” he smiled emptily.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0046"><h2>46. Paige Chapter 4: DHMIS</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>hehe</p>
<p>there's really not much for me to say on these later chapters, i'll have to wait till the students arrive to speak more</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Paige tumbled out from underneath the table and hopped to their feet.</p>
<p>“What’s your favorite idear? Mine is being creative!” They waggled their little jazz hands.</p>
<p>“How do you get that idea?”</p>
<p>“I just try to think creatively!” They sat on the table and plucked an orange out of thin air. “Now when you look at this orange, tell me friends, what do you see?”</p>
<p>“It’s just a boring old orange!”</p>
<p>“Maybe to you, but not to me!”</p>
<p>The orange sprouted legs and strutted around on the table excitedly. As Paige continued the song, it lingered, watching the four sing on. The object did had to admit, despite the strange lyrics they knew were coming up, this was still pretty fun. It was like a little children’s show!</p>
<p>“So take a look at my hair! I use my hair to express myself.”</p>
<p>“That sounds really boring.”</p>
<p>Uh... okay? Let's try that again. “I use my hair to express myself.”</p>
<p>The cloud segment was very entertaining, especially with Paige having to keep up with the song while simultaneously making the clouds change shape. They couldn’t help but notice however, that one of the kids wasn’t singing along. Ah- surely they’d get back in line soon.</p>
<p>“I think you’re getting the hang of it now! Using your minds to have a good time!”</p>
<p>“I might paint a picture of a clown!”</p>
<p>Hey hey HEY that wasn’t supposed to happen, what's gonna happen if you get caught going off script?! “Woah there friend you might need to slow down!” Paige almost fell over the table reaching to slam their inky hand onto the painting. It was a bit of a shame. That was quite an impressive painting for what they could only assume was a small child.</p>
<p>Everyone stared awkwardly at each other for a moment. The kids didn’t look too terribly upset, just surprised. Uh... crap what was the next line again? Oh ri-</p>
<p>“Here’s another good tip, on how to be a creative wiz kid. Go an collect some leaves and sticks and arrange them into your favorite color!”</p>
<p>It was instantaneous, the way the children finished the task. Paige wasn’t sure if they made it that way or if the kids had somehow done that.</p>
<p>“Blue.” “Red.” “Green.”</p>
<p>“Green is not a creative color.”</p>
<p>Paige thought once again about the error of that statement as they continued the song. They were gonna say their last lines soon, was that really all there was to it? Surely there was more...</p>
<p>“-to your heart, listen to the rain, listen to the voices in your brain. Come on guys let’s get creative!”</p>
<p>Paige stepped back as the lights flickered for a moment. Their eyes rested on the table and they noticed art(?) supplies that hadn’t been there before. The kids started playing with them, making cute little- wait was that a human heart?</p>
<p>A deep cold suddenly filled the room.</p>
<p>Paige felt a gross sickness run through their veins and a high pitched whine mixed with a scream crescendoed in their ears. They squished their eyes shut as the noise got louder and the floor started to turn, or was that just them getting dizzy? Paige peeled their eyes open. Where three human children had once sat were now three misshapen looking monsters.</p>
<p>The three freaks started moving around in disturbing, inhuman motions, twisting their arms around and jerkily dancing in a chaotic manner. The sky started to darken and Paige flinched at a lightning strike. They could have sworn they spotted a cake on the table but they barely had a moment to take in the scene before the world seemingly jumped forward to the next chaotic millisecond of panic. Paige felt their heart race as they subconsciously backed against the wall. Was this supposed to happen?! Was this what was on that torn off page?! What were those monsters, were they the kids? It couldn’t be, those kids seemed so calm and quiet, how could they just RANDOMLY transform into those distorted looking freaks, that’s not a THING that can happen? WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT CAKE?!?</p>
<p>Paige jolted their hands to their mouth as they watched the green monster cut into the cake and slimy, rubbery looking human organs spilled out. The other two seemed so happy about it? They felt something slimy on their foot as the scene shifted and they looked down to see some kinds of skinless rat crawling into the hole in the skirting board. They could barely process it enough to jump backwards; everything was so loud and gross and high pitched and fast and sickening and-</p>
<p>And it was suddenly very very quiet.</p>
<p>The smallest child looked around erratically while the other two shivered.</p>
<p>Paige’s body swayed. Was this... their fault? Did all this happen to those kids because they were there? Did they make those kids do that somehow? They didn't mean it, they didn't mean it- But it had to have been-</p>
<p>There wasn’t another line they were supposed to say, but Paige was feeling a bit humorous in these trying times.</p>
<p>“Now let’s all agree, to never be creative again.”</p>
<p>Paige collapsed on the floor, completely unconscious.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0047"><h2>47. Paige Finale: You've Been Japed</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>and that's all i've got for today! 11 chapters i believe? tomorrow and maybe sunday, it'll be the students~</p>
<p>and then i'll be done</p>
<p>done city</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Paige jolted awake, their heart pounding out of their chest. What the sheol just happened? Was that a dream? It had to be; nothing about the past 48 hours made any sense. No one had picked them up off the street, they didn’t eat anything or read any scripts, they didn’t teach the children, they didn’t hurt the children. It was all just a dream, right?</p>
<p>No. No it wasn’t. Paige found themself sitting on an extremely colorful couch, in a room that seemed oddly empty, despite still being crammed full of knickknacks and pictures on the walls. They felt a sickening goo running through their veins, and they hoped to God that THAT hadn’t happened... because of what they’d done. But it wouldn’t, right? They didn’t know they’d be hurting those kids... They didn’t...</p>
<p>They DID notice Roy sitting across the room in a green chair. He was almost completely still, only really noticeable from his breathing. He... he knew about this. He had to. He did this to them. He MADE them do this. The sickening feeling in the pit of Paige’s stomach was replaced by a boiling rage.</p>
<p>“What. The hell. Was that?!” they demanded.</p>
<p>Roy stayed silent.</p>
<p>“I- I did NOT sign up for- for whatever the FUCK that was!” the object sputtered wildly. “I- how did- why did that- WHY?!”</p>
<p>Roy stayed silent.</p>
<p>Paige groaned in frustration and stomped their feet, shoving themself out of their chair. This wasn’t fair, nothing made any sense and now he wasn’t even explaining himself! It took half a mind to not just throw one of those pictures on the wall at him.</p>
<p>“Y- you’re horrid, you know that? You’re disgusting, a- and freakish, and sick! I don’t know what your little game is but I don’t want ANY part of it! You don’t have to pay me, I don’t want your damn money! I wanna go home and you are gonna let me out of this hellhole RIGHT NOW!”</p>
<p>Paige was trying terribly hard to be angry and intimidating enough to be set free. Honestly, they didn’t know what their plan was from this point on, but there wasn’t much else they could do.</p>
<p>Roy stood up.</p>
<p>“I should have known better than to pick you. But I still need you.”</p>
<p>“No! I’m not going along with whatever you have planned!”</p>
<p>“Don’t worry. You don’t have a choice in the matter.”</p>
<p>Paige watched the man reach into his pocket and pull out a long, shiny, brand new screwdriver. It’s point was unnecessarily sharp and the gleam in Roy’s eyes told Paige exactly what was gonna happen next. They swallowed. It’s okay.</p>
<p>I can still make it.</p>
<p>If there was one defining feature about Paige, it was their skills in self preservation. And cowardice.</p>
<p>Roy burst towards Paige, screwdriver in hand and hurtled it straight at their head. They swung to the left and let it get lodged in the couch, grabbing Roy’s jaw and kneeing him hard enough to dislocate it. Paige crawled on top of the couch and tried to balance on top as Roy pried his weapon free. The man glared at them with such an intense and unsettling rage that the object nearly fell backwards at the sight of his lolling jaw. He was much MUCH taller than them so he didn’t even have to climb the couch to get on Paige’s level. They pressed themself against the wall behind them but felt the cool sensation of glass instead. A window!</p>
<p>Paige kicked Roy straight in the ribs, sending him flying backwards, as they simultaneously slammed themselves backwards against the window, shattering it and falling backwards out the house and into the raining outdoors.</p>
<p>They didn’t have time to celebrate the minor escape. Paige shoved themself to their feet and sprinted away from the house, across the sopping wet grass and into the woods that surrounded the few houses in this world. They ran and ran and ran but there was nowhere to go. There was no way out. They were stuck in this world forever, or at least until Roy let them out.</p>
<p>Paige realized, in their heart, that they would never go home.</p>
<p>.........</p>
<p>No one saw Paige for a very long time. Some say it was weeks. Some say it was months. Some say it was years. They stayed on the outskirts of Roy’s virtual world and watched him bring in more and more objects to sing and slaughter. They considered trying to help some of the new teachers but argued against it in favor of their own safety. It was for the best anyways. If they knew the kind of people Roy brought in, they wouldn’t have even considered trying to save them. It still stung, knowing that all of those creatures were to be killed like they were meant to be. Self preservation. </p>
<p>It was just like they had become accustomed to previously. Lonely and hungry in the woods. But they would trade anything to be in the real world and not here. Watching. Always just... watching.</p>
<p>They watched in the window as Tony was brought in to sing. They watched from the floor of the forest as Shrignold lured in the youngest child. They watched in the distance, Roy bringing in what looked like a very small, very confused object child to work. Paige watched everything.</p>
<p>Until they couldn’t anymore.</p>
<p>And someone finally saw Paige again.</p>
<p>But for us to see that...</p>
<p>We have to go back to the beginning.</p>
<p>Let’s find out what the trio have been up to.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0048"><h2>48. Teach You A Lesson Chapter 1: New Big Brothers</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>i awaken refreshed on the dawn of a new day, ready and willing to go wacko on this fic. </p>
<p>idk how similar these headcanons will be to other people's but i haven't seen too much like them so far. idk tho. insert shrugging emoticon</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Yellow patapatapata’d on the cold tile floor of the waiting room, eagerly anticipating any new arrivals. If someone came in, it either meant his father was done filling out the paperwork, or his new brothers had arrived. The little boy was so terribly excited! He couldn’t stop himself from moving as he thought about what they might look like, how they might act, how old they might be... As much as he hated to admit it, his dad was right about him being far too lonely for his age. It’d be good to have some new kids in the house, some more boys. He knew that his father could not create another child like him. </p>
<p>Yellow shot to his feet as he heard a door click behind him and he whipped his head around just in time to see two boys being shoved into the room and the door slamming behind them. One was really tall (at least to Yellow) and had long, dark red hair that fell over his face haphazardly. He wore an oversized, light red hoodie and undersized jeans. Meanwhile the other one was only a little tall and had kinda short dark green hair wrapped in a loose ponytail. He only wore a plain white t-shirt and shorts, though Yellow noticed how his skin was deathly pale. The redhead pulled the other to his feet and gently guided him to the line of chairs on the wall. Neither of them really seemed to notice Yellow as they made themselves comfortable on the distended plastic.</p>
<p>The little boy traipsed over to the duo as dramatically as possible. He had to make a good impression on them and show them he was... ~cool~. His little facade wouldn’t last long as it couldn’t resist the amount of pure energy that came spilling out of his mouth moments after he arrived between their chairs.</p>
<p>“HI you guys are my new brothers right that’s really cool hey have you ever- actually wait that wouldn’t make sense but I mean I was just checking but also do you like to eat I mean of course you do because everyone likes to eat but I had to make sure and also-“</p>
<p>Yellow was swiftly interrupted by the green haired one bonking him slightly roughly on the head.</p>
<p>“How about you start with... hm, I don’t know, names?” the boy said. Yellow was surprised by how... weirdly electronic the kid’s voice sounded? It wasn’t too bad though, it was kinda endearing! Like how dad said his dumb voice was endearing! Besides, he’d heard that older kids had a thing where their voices broke. Maybe that was it. Oh, he was getting off track in his own mind.</p>
<p>“Okay! What’s your guys’ names’s?” Yellow started to hop up and down and teeter totter on his toes.</p>
<p>“Well, my name’s Duck, and that’s Red!” the boy jabbed his thumb at the taller one.</p>
<p>“Really?”</p>
<p>“What?”</p>
<p>“I mean they’re pretty funny names.”</p>
<p>“Well we didn’t pick them! How much better is your name anyways?”</p>
<p>Yellow’s heart sank slightly. Oh, he’d already managed to make his new brothers angry. He had a habit of making people angry without meaning to...</p>
<p>“Don’t be mean...” the tallest child muttered. It was so low and quiet that Yellow almost hadn’t caught it.</p>
<p>Duck rolled his eyes but a smile did return to his lips. “Fine. So what’s your name? Lemme guess...” his eyes flitted to Yellow’s overalls, “starts with a D?”</p>
<p>“Yep! Yellow! D for Yellow!”</p>
<p>“Uh... that’s not...” Red started before being interrupted by Duck’s laughter.</p>
<p>“You’re really funny!”</p>
<p>“Yeah, I get that a lot.” Yellow imitated casually leaning against the wall, like he’d seen on TV.</p>
<p>“How old are you anyways?” Duck continued. He’d swung into the conversation around quite nicely and was now rapping his fingertips against the plastic between his legs. His eyes were already more alight than when he’d arrived in this room, and Red took note of it. It was nice seeing him happier for once. </p>
<p>“I’m 5 and a HALF years old!” Yellow proclaimed proudly.</p>
<p>“HA! That’s weak! I’M EIGHT years old! Can you beat that? No, y’can’t!” A freakish smile spread across the kids face from the ‘victory.’ Yellow gasped in excitement. “You’re an OLDER KID! That’s so cool!”</p>
<p>Red pulled his legs closer to his chest and considered adding in his own age, just to win Duck’s silly competition that he knew he made just to make Yellow feel bad. “I’m... 14 years old...” he muttered into his hair.</p>
<p>Yellow gasped so loudly and intensely that Red half thought he was gonna pass out. “You’re a TEENAGER?! THAT’S SO COOL! HOW DO YOU DO IT??”</p>
<p>“I... lived a while? How else would I do it?”</p>
<p>Yellow giggled for a moment before continuing. “I like your guy’s hair! And your clothes! You both look very pretty!”</p>
<p>“I do NAUGHT!” Duck insisted. “I look handsome.” Red smiled a little bit. He did like being called pretty, even if it was just a silly little kid saying it.</p>
<p>“But you do! You’ve got really cool long hair, especially Red!” Yellow leaned over and ran his fingers through it before Red could even protest. He flinched back a moment before calming himself. Duck looked between the two before deciding that he was definitely gonna grow his hair out. To match. But he couldn’t let this barrage of compliments go unrewarded. “You have very nice hair too! It’s a good blue-y color and it’s very... round...” He wasn’t as good at being sweet, he could feel it in his tiny bones.</p>
<p>“Why thank you! My dad always says that- Oh! There he is now! We can go!!”</p>
<p>Red and Duck felt their veins go cold at the sight of their new parent and Duck instinctively leaned against Red while recoiling. That... wasn’t exactly what they expected. He was so... ugly. How could an ugly guy like that have a cute kid like this? Duck hastily shrugged it off and followed as Yellow dragged him over but Red lagged behind. Something in his gut was begging him to stay but he couldn't have Duck leave him behind. He finally pushed himself off the chair and trailed over to the man.</p>
<p>“Oki doki guys, this is my dad, Roy! But you can just call him dad!”</p>
<p>Roy didn’t say anything. He just stood there. Menacingly. Was he waiting for something?</p>
<p>Duck was the first to speak up. “Uh- I- it’s good to meet you... s- sir.” He reached out a very shaky hand which Roy (annoyingly slowly) grabbed to shake back. He seemed satisfied with this and beckoned the three of them to follow him out the room. Duck and Yellow quickly shrugged off the awkwardness and followed but Red felt rooted to the spot. His heart wouldn’t stop pounding. This wasn’t right at all, was it?</p>
<p>No, no. It’d be okay. He could probably get over the weird new dad. Even if he couldn’t, he could probably just spend most of his time with the other two. This was fine. It was better than it was before. It WAS. It had to be. Because if it wasn't...</p>
<p>“C’mon Red, I thought you wanted to leave this dinky heckhole!” the teenager heard Duck shout from out the door.</p>
<p>“Right, I’m right behind you,” he shouted hoarsely. He sounded as if he’d never screamed before.</p>
<p>We’ll soon be fixing that.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0049"><h2>49. Teach You A Lesson Chapter 2: Growing Together</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>BABIES!!!!! CHILDREN!!!! MY SONS!!!!!!</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Duck hauled the bucket towards the door. Well, it was less hauling and more shoving a dead weight across a stubbornly rough carpet. He had half a mind to not just kick it over in frustration and let the water spill all over the place, but he knew better. He’d just have to clean it up later anyways. And he might get his fancy yellow striped super tall socks.</p>
<p>After what felt like hours, the little boy and finally managed to reach the door way. Now he just had to... put it... on the... door... hmm.</p>
<p>He didn’t think this through very well.</p>
<p>The little boy paced back and forth, ruffling his hair and shoving his hands into the pockets of his brand new fancy brown jacket thingie. After another five minutes of progressively louder humming, Duck startled at the sound of Yellow saying “What’re you doing?”</p>
<p>“Huh- uh, oh I’m just- Wait were you here the whole time?”</p>
<p>“Mhm! Isn’t that cool? I bet you didn’t even see me!”</p>
<p>“Uh, yeah yeah, anyways-“</p>
<p>“I’m very good at blending i- oh wait sorry you were talking.” Yellow’s eyes almost seemed to flit around sporadically for a moment before he shut himself up.</p>
<p>“Right. Well, I’m TRYING to prank whoever walks through this door next but I didn’t actually think about how I’d put the bucket up there. There’s not exactly anything to climb on that I can move,” he gestured to the room filled with heavy furniture. “So I’m at a tad of an impasse.”</p>
<p>“I can help with that!”</p>
<p>Duck rolled his eyes. “Really? How?”</p>
<p>“Pick up the bucket.”</p>
<p>Duck practically fell backwards with the weight of the water against his tiny fragile body. “O- okay- now what?” he sputtered out.</p>
<p>Duck didn’t have to wait long as seconds later, Yellow slid underneath Duck and lifted him up into the air so that the green haired boy was standing on his brother’s hands. He let out a very autotuned screech and frantically grasped at the bucket to stop it from falling. “WOAH HOW ARE YOU DOING THAT?!?”</p>
<p>“I’m really strong!” was all Yellow said to explain himself.</p>
<p>“YEAH NO KIDDING” Duck gasped out. Regardless, he recovered from his shock and slowly balanced the bucket on the ledge of the door. Yellow threw the boy up in the air and caught him in his arms, placing him back on the ground.</p>
<p>Duck shook as he weakly spluttered at his brother. “N- never do that again! B- but also- th- that was really cool-“</p>
<p>Yellow simply smiled back at him and sat down on the floor. “So now what?”</p>
<p>“Now... we wait!” Duck dramatically flared out his arms.</p>
<p>A few minutes later, Roy walked through the door and a bucket of water landed directly on his head. The two kids burst out laughing and collapsed on the floor, Yellow desperately trying to contain himself while Duck practically bursting at the seams.</p>
<p>“See? Comedy gold! He’s not even mad at us, look!” The boy pointed at Roy’s empty, hollow face as he slowly pulled the bucket off his head and dropped it on the ground. Yellow half expected his dad to start yelling but he just turned around and left. He didn’t even slam the door!</p>
<p>"Wow! That was impressive!"</p>
<p>"You better believe it!" He shoved a pointer finger in his little brother's face. "Never doubt my abilities!"</p>
<p>...................................</p>
<p>“Jeezum grice it’s so hot out,” Duck complained.</p>
<p>The virtual sun beat down on the virtual world but it didn’t make their miserable stickiness and sweatiness and heat exhaustion any less real. The trio had conceded to hiding under a tree instead of actually doing anything fun like they wanted to. Red had finally agreed to take off his hoodie and tie it around his waist, which was a certainly a shock to the other two, since he never took it off. Duck completely refused to even put a single inch of skin in the sun, claiming he was so pale already, he’d probably set on fire if he went out there.</p>
<p>“Ugh, you're right,” Yellow flicked at a clump of grass. “What’s the point of even having a virtual world of you still have awful weather?”</p>
<p>“Can’t you just ask dad to fix it?” Red’s muffled voice came out from under his arms.</p>
<p>“Huh. Yeah I guess I can! Be right back!” Yellow sprinted down the hill before tripping and rolling all the way to the bottom.</p>
<p>“Holy crap are you okay!?” Duck shouted.</p>
<p>“Yeah!” Yellow responded as he burst across the grass. Duck shrugged and lay back down on the grass. A thought ran through his head as he took in the light fracturing through the tree leaves, and he turned his head to his older brother. Completely quiet and still as always.</p>
<p>“Do you like it here?”</p>
<p>“...do you?”</p>
<p>“Of course I do!” he sat up, “I get to stay with you!”</p>
<p>Red pulled his arms away from his head and he contemplated for a moment. He sat up as well and gave a concerned look to Duck. “Would you have followed me anywhere? Even if I got sent to some sorta... horrible... uh cannibalistic... cult factory?”</p>
<p>“That wouldn’t have happened but yes, yes I would have.” Duck smiled and finger-gunned at the older boy. This didn’t alleviate Red’s worries in the slightest; he instead turned away and gazed at the house. What if he WAS sent somewhere awful? Duck would have come with him, and then he’d be stuck in some horrid place, all because of him. It wasn’t right...</p>
<p>But this place wasn’t horrible. They had a sweet little brother and an... alright dad. And honestly, a magical virtual world where everything about it except the people can be controlled by a machine in the real world was more than he could’ve asked for, or even imagined to be honest.</p>
<p>Seconds after that thought ran through his head, a pound of snow dropped on him.</p>
<p>“What the fu- frick?!”</p>
<p>“HA! Looks like Yellow got the weather working after all.”</p>
<p>“Ugh, I’d like to see YOU l- laughing when a p- pound of snow-“</p>
<p>A barrage of water shot from the sky and drenched Duck completely.</p>
<p>“W- well, would you look at that,” Red chuckled.</p>
<p>“I’m going to kill you.”</p>
<p>.................</p>
<p>Yellow scribbled aggressively onto his paper with the set of worn out crayons. Duck, on the other hand, was carefully sketching out... something. Red didn’t pay mind to either of them though. He was exhausted. Again.</p>
<p>More and more sleepless nights were piling up. After they’d moved in, Red had gotten a bit of a normal sleep schedule, but it didn’t take long for his exhaustion to come creeping up on him yet again. He couldn’t help himself. It was so difficult sometimes. He didn’t know why, it SHOULDN’T be so difficult for him. He should be perfectly fine, he shouldn’t be so tired, he shouldn’t be so angry, he shouldn’t feel so... empty.</p>
<p>He didn’t even notice Yellow was talking to him.</p>
<p>“I said, why don’t you draw something too?”</p>
<p>“Hmm? Oh, I don’t think I have anything to draw. I’m not very... artistically inclined.”</p>
<p>“You don’t have to be! You can draw your emotions, like I did!”</p>
<p>“That’s a picture of us.”</p>
<p>“Uh, duh, family is an emotion!”</p>
<p>“It’s... not.” Still, maybe Yellow had a point. “What did you draw, Duck?”</p>
<p>The green haired boy pulled up a weird, multicolored picture of... what he could only assume was an animal. “Uh. Great... cat..?”</p>
<p>“Come on! It’s a bee achieving transcendence. I got inspired by that one movie with the bee and the human and the-“</p>
<p>“Yeah yeah, I got it.” Red sighed and picked up a mechanical pencil, tapping it gently against the table. Draw your emotions? He didn’t like what might come onto the paper. Still, might as well give it a shot.</p>
<p>Red slammed his hand onto the table and practically tore the paper to shreds with how hard he pressed the pencil to it, stabbing into it over and over again and spreading lead onto his hands and hoodie sleeves. He worked himself into a one minute long fervor as he destroyed the page before screeching to a halt and easing his head around to stare at the other two.</p>
<p>“Do you like it?” he muttered through clenched teeth. He didn’t know what exactly he was angry at but it certainly wasn’t his brothers. He shouldn’t be so aggressive. He immediately caught himself and retreated to his shell of apathy.</p>
<p>“It’s... it’s nice,” Yellow murmured. “I really like it.”</p>
<p>“Yeah, although maybe next time, don’t stab your emotion paper?” Duck then laughed at the absurdity of his own sentence.</p>
<p>.............</p>
<p>Red stared at the computer screen for hours, scrolling through page after page, blog after blog, video after video. For once, it wasn’t his own miserably malfunctioning brain that was keeping him up, but technology. It was an absorbing thing, the internet, especially for a kid in the mid to late 2000s. He sighed, as he used his own hair as a pillow against the wooden desk in the trio’s room. He was so engrossed without even paying attention to what was on screen, that he didn’t notice Yellow walking up to him until he tugged on his shirt.</p>
<p>Red jolted up and spun around in the chair to face the kid. “Wh- huh? Oh. What is it?”</p>
<p>“I had a nightmare.”</p>
<p>Red rolled his eyes at the cliche’dness of that statement, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t going to help a scared little kid. He sighed and responded, “What was it about.”</p>
<p>“Well,” Yellow crawled up and sat in Red’s lap without asking, “I’m in a really dark room, and a very tall guy’s there and he starts yelling at me,” Yellow seemed to fall into trance, “and I think I’m supposed to know what he’s saying but I don’t and he gets mad and starts kicking me and he kicks me in the chest and my ribs really hurt and then I explode and I wake up.” Yellow looked at Red with blank expectancy. Meanwhile Red’s face had gone from boredom to confusion.</p>
<p>“Oh.” Yeah, great start, you’re so good at this. “Well... if someone were to try and hurt you... hmm... I would stab them.” WAIT that was supposed to be a joke why would you say that to a scared kid you complete-</p>
<p>Yellow giggled, then burst into laughter. “You’re really really funny!” Red breathed a sigh of relief and continued. “It’s true though! If someone hurt either of you, I would in fact stab them.”</p>
<p>“What if I did something bad and that’s why they hurt me?”</p>
<p>“Well, you’re also... 6 years old. I doubt anything you can do is bad enough to warrant something awful happening.”</p>
<p>“Okay!” Yellow piped up and hopped out of Red’s chair. “I’m going to sleep now!”</p>
<p>Red nodded awkwardly and turned back to the computer. That was almost too easy.</p>
<p>“You should too.” Yellow muttered, almost angrily?</p>
<p>A few hours after the teen heard the other’s breathing soften, he thought about what happened. Yellow actually trusted him enough to go to him. He wanted HIS help. He cared what he said. He could’ve talked to dad or Duck, they were more 'acquaintanced' with him, and yet he went to Red. A smile crept onto his face.</p>
<p>...............</p>
<p>The trio wandered through the woods on another nice day of nothing. The sun wasn’t burning, the sky was clear, and the air was fresh. Red readjusted Yellow, who he was carrying on his back, and caught up to Duck.</p>
<p>“How come you don’t carry me too?”</p>
<p>“You’re getting too heavy for it,” Red replied in a monotone fashion.</p>
<p>“Oh, pishposh applesauce, I know you can still carry me! In fact, I bet you can carry both of us at the same time!”</p>
<p>“I don’t see how-“</p>
<p>“Oh that’s a great idea Duck!” interrupted Yellow. “I can ride on his back, and he can carry you in his arms!”</p>
<p>“I- I don’t think-“</p>
<p>“PERFECT!” Duck dropped into a running stance and burst forward to jump in Red’s arms, or more likely to tackle him.</p>
<p>“Oh no you don’t!” Red dodged out of the way and sprinted ahead in the woods, making gains ahead of the 9 year old. Still, he did have a small child as dead weight on his back and it didn’t take long for Duck to catch up. The little boy hopped up on a log that Red had vaulted over and catapulted himself towards the duo, crashing all three of them into a nearby stream and soaking them completely.</p>
<p>Yellow grinned and shoved Duck underwater, a little more aggressively than he meant to, but Duck spun away and pushed him over in vengeance.</p>
<p>“Oh shit!” Red exclaimed to himself.</p>
<p>The other two froze mid-battle and turned to the 15 year old. “What, what’s wrong?” asked Duck.</p>
<p>“I- oh thank God, it’s okay.”</p>
<p>“What what??”</p>
<p>“I- well...” Red stepped out of the stream and wrung his hair dry. “I figured... y’know since it’s been a year since we came here... I could, celebrate it with presents or something. Like a bonus birthday.” He reached into his pocket and pulled out two objects, tossing them to the respective sibling. “I got a box of crayons and a joke book. Cuz... y’know. I’m good at reducing people to their interests...” It was a joke, probably. Thankfully, the other two were too invested in their presents to notice the self deprecation.</p>
<p>“Oh this is awesome!” squeaked Duck, hooping up and down in place. “How did you get these?”</p>
<p>“Well I asked dad and he said he’d make an exception...”</p>
<p>Yellow tackled Red again, practically on the verge of tears, “YOU’RE THE BEST!!”</p>
<p>“It’s- it’s really not that big a deal.”</p>
<p>“Oh but it is! We- we have to get you something too! Oh but it’s probably too late to-“</p>
<p>“I know!” Duck shoved in, “You’re always sleepy right? Let’s make him a pillow!”</p>
<p>Red blinked. “Huh?”</p>
<p>“Ah yes, the perfect scheme," continued Duck. "Let’s go gather a bunch of feathers and stuff, it’ll be the fluffiest pillow in the UNIVERSE!”</p>
<p>“Bold claim. Here, let me help.” He started to stand before the two of them shoved him back on the ground.</p>
<p>“Nope! This is your present, AND you’re tired. We got this!”</p>
<p>Red sat alone in the virtual forest while the other two terrorized the virtual birds.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0050"><h2>50. Teach You A Lesson Chapter 3: Fear Will Inform Your Actions</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>yeah uh this is where the hurt starts hurting so</p>
<p>watch out for child abuse</p>
<p>ah i love projecting my problems onto fictional characters</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Duck and Yellow shoved at each other playfully in the front yard while Red watched from the sidewalk. It was another nice day. Just like almost every other day. The world was still empty, and he was still tired. Things were nice though, Red supposed. He wouldn’t really have it any other way. It wasn’t like he had anything to complain about. Yes, he was just being pathetic, that was all. Red refocused his eyes on his brothers after realizing that he was zoning out.</p>
<p>Duck shoved Yellow to the ground and prepared to body slam him (or at least the 10 year old child equivalent) but Yellow rolled out of the way and kicked him away, with perhaps a bit more force than needed, as Duck practically flew 5 feet across the ground. That didn’t deter him however, and he sprung up to once again charge an attack. He knew he’d never win a play fight against Yellow, what with his freakish strength. That didn’t mean he was going to give up easily though. He slid under Yellow’s pathetic karate chop and swept the leg, as they say in the business. Yellow fell forwards and face planted directly onto the pavement of the empty road, and didn’t get up.</p>
<p>“Ha! I DID IT! I won!” Duck hopped up and down for a good 10 seconds before realizing Yellow was probably hurt. “Oh- oh crud are you okay?!”</p>
<p>Yellow peeled his face off the cement and turned towards his brother. “Uh huh, I’m fine!” he spluttered, blood spraying out of his mouth. Duck spotted a tooth on the road and picked it up, waving it in front of Yellow’s face. “This doesn’t look very fine.”</p>
<p>“Aw, it’s okay! I’ll get better, it was just a baby tooth.”</p>
<p>“That’s not the problem though, you’re literally spitting blood all over me every time you talk. Now shut up and let’s go get dad.”</p>
<p>Red watched as the other two retreated to the house. He pulled his legs to his chest and zoned out again. The teen didn’t want to go inside, not yet. There was still some time to contemplate his meaningless and worthless existence (not that he’d tell anyone that.)</p>
<p>..................</p>
<p>It didn’t take TOO terribly long for Red to finally return to the warm embrace of indoors, and he aimlessly wandered towards the general direction of his bedroom. Everything felt especially fuzzy today, as when he set his hand on the doorknob, he felt very... outside his body. The cold metal barely registered with him as it froze his skin.</p>
<p>Red was greeted with a strange sight. Yellow sat on his bed, twiddling his fingers with an anxious expression on his face, one that Red thought he was a bit too young to have. Duck on the other hand, looked completely empty, as he was curled up in a ball, lying on his side. Red immediately felt more awake as he sat next to him and moved to rest a hand on his shoulder. Much to his own chagrin, Duck flinched away for a second before realizing it was his brother and leaning into him.</p>
<p>Red looked across the room to Yellow and asked, “Could you leave for a little bit? I want to talk to him.”</p>
<p>The little boy nodded and hopped off his bed before exiting.</p>
<p>Pausing for a moment, Red let the possibilities run through his head, and he didn’t like any of them. He hesitated before slowly patting his little brother on the head.</p>
<p>“Something bad happened, didn’t it?”</p>
<p>Duck nodded and pulled away.</p>
<p>“Do you want to talk about it?”</p>
<p>The little boy sucked in a deep breath. “He was really mad that I hurt Yellow.”</p>
<p>“It was just an accident.”</p>
<p>Duck shrugged. “He told him to leave so he could talk to me in private and...” Duck raised a shaky fist, as if trying to act out some sort of motion, but he couldn’t go through with it. “I don’t wanna say it. He might hear me. He might hear me.” His eyes suddenly widened and a shiver rushed down his spine.</p>
<p>Red resisted the urge to roll his eyes. It’s not that he didn’t care, he just thought that last notion was a little ridiculous. “Here, you can whisper it to me.”</p>
<p>Duck looked up with exhaustion and terror in his eyes before leaning in close and whispering in Red’s ear.</p>
<p>“What the fuck?! He does NOT get to treat you like that, I’m talking to him RIGHT NOW.”</p>
<p>Duck sprang out of his seat as Red stomped towards the door, pulling on his arm. “No NO! You can’t do that please! He’ll just hurt you!!”</p>
<p>Red felt a pang in his heart at the sight of his brother’s horrified expression.</p>
<p>“It’s fine, I’m almost 16, I can take care of myself. I think I can handle ONE old guy.” Duck loosened his grip on Red’s arm slightly. “Look, I need you to stay with Yellow. Everything’s going to be alright.”</p>
<p>Truthfully, Red wasn’t sure if he was doing quite the right thing, but it wasn’t like he was just going to LET this happen. Not without consequences. As he walked out the door, past Yellow, a thought struck him that this might have happened before. Before they'd arrived here.</p>
<p>No, surely he wouldn’t? He probably just did this because he thought less of Red and Duck, he probably thought they didn’t count. Yes, that was the perfectly fine logic Red used as an excuse to not worry about his other brother.</p>
<p>.................</p>
<p>Red slammed open the door to one of the many, MANY rooms in this nightmare of a house and found himself face to face with that slimy, bastard of a man. Roy looked mildly expectant, but he could never really discern ANY emotion from that freakish, empty face.</p>
<p>Red started his speech right off the bat, knowing Roy likely wasn’t going to say anything anyways.</p>
<p>“I know exactly what you did to my brother, and I want you to know that you AREN’T getting away with this. You can't treat us like that without consequences, so let me get something straight.” He walked closer to Roy. “If I catch you doing that to ANY of us ever again, you’ll regret it,” he finished, jabbing his finger in Roy’s face.</p>
<p>The man waited for a moment, still breathing as heavily as always, before asking, “Is that a threat?”</p>
<p>“I don’t know. I guess we’ll just have to see.”</p>
<p>Roy grabbed Red by the neck and slammed him against the wall, almost hard enough to crack the brick. He crushed down on the boy’s windpipe as Red desperately clawed at his hands. He remained expressionless as he began his own monologue.</p>
<p>“You don’t make the threats around here. I do. I wouldn’t keep going down this path of yours. It won’t end well for anyone involved.”</p>
<p>He waited for a few more seconds before dropping Red to the ground and kicking him to the side. The teen gasped and coughed violently, grasping at his throat. He clasped his hands close to himself and turned to glare at Roy, tears threatening to spill out of his strained eyes. The tall, spindly man casually exited the room as Red continued to take shuddering gasps for air.</p>
<p>..................</p>
<p>Months of quiet followed. Well, not exactly quiet, but nothing as bad as the initial incident. Yellow seemed blissfully unaware as the other two tried their best to continue on as “normal.” Duck didn’t hold anything against Yellow, After all, it wasn’t his fault his dad was such horrid, awful garbage. Red found it a bit more difficult to not blame him, having been burned like this before, but he tried to keep it at just snapping at him on occasion.</p>
<p>Yellow wandered down the hall, humming a tune to himself that he heard on television. His ears pricked up at the sound of his dad and Red talking. The small child tiptoed his way to the edge of the door and eavesdropped. Sure, it wasn’t the best way of learning things, but no one ever told him anything anyways. He was tired of feeling stupid.</p>
<p>Red painstakingly filled out his schoolwork as his head buzzed from lack of sleep.</p>
<p>“You’re going too slowly.”</p>
<p>“I know.”</p>
<p>“Finish it faster.”</p>
<p>“I can’t.”</p>
<p>Roy slammed Red’s head on the table. “Finish it faster,” he repeated in the same monotone voice.</p>
<p>Red groaned in frustration and shoved the man away, scribbling furiously on the page.</p>
<p>“You know, you’re lucky to even be here. Most kids your age have to ACTUALLY go to school.”</p>
<p>“I don’t feel very lucky,” Red muttered under his breath, grimacing.</p>
<p>Roy leaned on the table and looked at him with just the slightest hint of anger. “Remember what I said.”</p>
<p>Yellow pulled away from the room.</p>
<p>“Great. It’s happening again,” he grumbled to himself. “Do I have to fix everything around here?”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0051"><h2>51. Teach You A Lesson Chapter 4: A Fix and a Break</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>man these are so much more interesting than i remember them being</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Life continued.</p>
<p>It felt like nothing was real, not anymore. It didn’t matter that bad things were happening, it didn’t matter that the two of them were scared, life continued.</p>
<p>The three kids sat at the table in silence, Yellow absentmindedly stirring his cereal while the other two stared at nothing. Things had been so strained lately, and now Yellow knew exactly why. But he wasn’t just going to sit around and let it happen. That would be extremely rude of him.</p>
<p>“You’re scared, aren’t you?” he finally spilled.</p>
<p>Red looked at him with a mixture of confusion and a glare. “What do you mean?”</p>
<p>“Something really bad is happening to you guys, and you’re scared,” Yellow explained matter-of-factly. “I don’t think you guys should be keeping it hidden.”</p>
<p>Strangely enough, Duck’s eyes lit up. He shot a glance at Red before grabbing the both of them by their wrists and sliding into a secluded area of the kitchen. He peered over the counter before sliding back down to continue the conversation.</p>
<p>“How’d you find out?” Duck and Red simultaneously asked, although Red in a much more accusatory tone.</p>
<p>“Hm? Oh, I overheard him yelling at you,” he pointed to Red.</p>
<p>“I wouldn’t call it yelling, more like... ominously talking.”</p>
<p>“So you know all about it?” Duck interrupted.</p>
<p>“Mhm. He’s being very rude to you all, and I think it’s about time I did something about it!”</p>
<p>Red double interrupted with, “And you know how he’s hurting us? How he...” Red trailed off into a scowl.</p>
<p>“What?! Like, hitting hurting?” Yellow’s face melted into horror. Duck awkwardly nodded. “But... but he wouldn’t go that far! He’s my dad, he wouldn’t do something that awful!”</p>
<p>“Yes he would,” Red rebuked bluntly. “I could barely fu- fricking” he enunciated, “breathe after what he did.”</p>
<p>Yellow’s face fell again and he rubbed his eyes. “No... he wouldn’t. I thought he'd stopped... I was just gonna ask him to be nicer but...” The boy shook his head and glared at the floor. “I’m going to talk to him. Right now.”</p>
<p>As he stood up, Duck almost immediately pulled him back to the floor. “You can’t do that! What if something bad happens?!”</p>
<p>“Well then we’ll figure something else out! This is more important!”</p>
<p>Red felt a strange sting in his chest at the sight of the kid, his little brother, being so determined to fix things. He really had been giving him less credit than he deserved. Still, that didn’t mean he was gonna let him walk into the fire just for them.</p>
<p>“I agree with Duck,” he pulled on Yellow’s arm. “You shouldn’t do this.”</p>
<p>Yellow’s face softened for a moment, as if in consideration. He stole a quick glance at the door to the hallway before sighing. “I’m sorry guys.”</p>
<p>The little boy kneed Red in the stomach and shoved Duck across the room, bursting out the door shouting “It’s for your own good!” behind him.</p>
<p>................</p>
<p>Yellow slid into his dad’s room and slammed the door behind him, locking it shut. He turned around to see his father staring at him in confusion, or at least, the closest approximation of confusion he could get. Yellow had learned to read his father’s inexpressive face well over his 7 years of being alive.</p>
<p>“Hello, my little rat. What’s troubling you?” Roy murmured in the same monotonous groan he always wore.</p>
<p>Yellow sucked in a breath, and reminded himself that his dad wouldn’t hurt him. He was nice, and this was probably a misunderstanding, or a mistake, or something.</p>
<p>“Is it true, that you’ve been hurting Red and Duck?”</p>
<p>A flurry of furious emotions tumbled in Roy’s chest and for the briefest of moments, his face distorted into rage, but Yellow pretended not to notice.</p>
<p>“...perhaps I have. But what of it? Surely you don’t assume I do so without reason?” Roy inched towards his son and kneeled down to stare him in the eyes. “They must have done something to deserve it. Did that ever cross your mind?”</p>
<p>Yellow was half inclined to believe him. After all, any times he got yelled at, he’d done something bad. And his dad never did anything without reason, at least, that’s what he said. But then his mind wandered back to a conversation he’d had with Red a long time ago.</p>
<p>What could kids their age have possibly done that was worth this?</p>
<p>Yellow shoved his dad away and shouted, “No! No no no no no! You can’t do this! You can’t hurt them like this, it isn’t right! You’re supposed to be our dad, that means them too! I don’t want them to be scared of you, I DON’T WANT TO BE SCARED OF YOU! I HATE IT I HATE IT!” Yellow found it hard to breathe as he ranted on. “If you don’t stop hurting them then- then I WON’T LOVE YOU ANYMORE!” The little boy found tears spilling out of his eyes. He didn’t mean that, not at all! He loved his dad very much! And he hated lying but this is what he had to do to keep them safe! It was okay! Everything would be fine! So why was he crying so much?!</p>
<p>Roy seemed taken aback. “You’d really do that for them?”</p>
<p>Yellow nodded as he frantically wiped his eyes.</p>
<p>“You must really care for them,” Roy’s voice lowered to a grumble and his eyes darkened. “They seem to have quite the... influence on you.”</p>
<p>“Of course! They’re my brothers!”</p>
<p>Roy glared at his son, not even trying to restrain his hatred this time. For the first time in a very, VERY long time, Yellow remembered what it was like to be afraid of his father. He held his breath and tried to smile up at him, to relax his body and show that he wasn’t upset with his dad. But on the inside he felt a very old and unused emotion. He couldn’t show it, it was gross and mean and he couldn’t be like that, like him. He had to keep acting like a dumb little kid. He WAS a dumb little kid, nothing more. Nothing more.</p>
<p>Roy finally resumed talking.</p>
<p>“I understand. I’ll refrain from such forms of discipline from now on.”</p>
<p>Yellow’s eyes lit up and the gross emotion immediately fell out of his throat. “Oh, thank you thank you thank you I love you so much!” He hopped up to his dad and gave him a great hug before bursting out of the room.</p>
<p>Roy made a mental note to himself.</p>
<p>We’re going to have to fix this. Fix THEM. He’s not right anymore, they broke him, they broke MY rat. They all need to be educated.</p>
<p>...............</p>
<p>Yellow slid into the winners circle, AKA the little corner of the kitchen they’d met in, and hopped into his seat excitedly. Red and Duck tackled him both physically and with questions, that he soon answered.</p>
<p>“It’s okay it’s okay! He said he’d stop! Nothing bad happened, and it all worked out!”</p>
<p>“What?!” Duck’s electric voice peaked with his confusion.</p>
<p>“Are you sure nothing bad happened?” Red pestered.</p>
<p>“Absolutely! We’re gonna be okay! Everything’s going back to normal and we’ll be happy! YOU’LL be happy!”</p>
<p>Red looked away. He wasn’t quite sure they could ever go back to normal, or look at Roy the same way again, but at least it wouldn’t keep happening. If he were to believe in Yellow of course. He supposed he had underestimated his brother. Those few months where it had been all too physical were burned into his mind. But it was over now, wasn't it?</p>
<p>He supposed that was good enough.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0052"><h2>52. Teach You A Lesson Chapter 5: The Search Begins</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>mmmmmy nose </p>
<p>roy is the dumbest part of this fanfic. i feel a hole in my soul every time i see him.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Roy glared out the window at the brats. The three of them running around outside, enjoying themselves without a care in the world, as if they hadn’t completely destroyed his pride and joy.</p>
<p>Those corruptive, disgusting, traitorous monsters ruined his son. They thought they could get away with it too. They thought they could just take his son from him without any consequences. They were sorely mistaken.</p>
<p>He never should have brought them home. Yellow should have stayed alone.</p>
<p>The plan was simple. To Roy at least. To any other human on the planet, perhaps it would seem convoluted, complex, unnecessary. But they didn’t have Roy’s fascinating brain.</p>
<p>All he wanted was for his kids to be completely and perfectly controlled by him in all forms. Everything they did, everything they said, everything they thought, he should have some input in. Was that really too much to ask?</p>
<p>Sure, living in a virtual world allowed him to control everything inside it, from the weather to the landscape to the houses. But two levels—a virtual world INSIDE a virtual world—that would be so many layers and complications; he could perfectly drive everything, even the inhabitants.</p>
<p>The problem was, it was a bit hard to build the machine he needed. Sure, he could get it done, but by the time it was finished, who knows how horrid the kids would be by then? He needed an immediate start, something to jumpstart the reshaping of their psyche while he worked.</p>
<p>........</p>
<p>Roy had done a lot of research on his little world. He could never figure out quite how to create life, and while he was decent at warping the world while on the inside, he had a feeling that came up more to years of practice rather than innate ability. He did have a few theories though.</p>
<p>Objects have always been more powerful than humans. That’s why they need to be held back. They can never truly unlock that power unless corrupted. Perhaps that fact would prove useful to Roy’s endeavors. After all, only a corrupt object would go along with his plan anyways. He’d need to do a LOT more planning and studying though. Murderous monsters weren’t exactly the easiest commodity to come across, even if he did have a few ideas of where to look.</p>
<p>Blacklists always had a handful of corrupted objects; it was inevitable. No one would want a freak of nature working at the local Burger Queen. Roy was running low on ideas for what this “psyche adjustment” would entail for his kids, and while he had to be very precise with parts of his plan, there were times where he could afford to wing it. He’d come to the conclusion that Lessons were the way to go. He would gather Teachers to teach the Lessons to his kids while the machine was still a work in progress, and he would make his own Teachers once the machine was finished. It wouldn’t hurt to still have the old Teachers on hand, as a sort of data extraction, and objects were much simpler in composition than humans, so he could just put the old Teachers in the machine for storage once he was done with them. Perfect. Everything made perfect sense to him.</p>
<p>Roy wasn’t exactly sure what the Lessons would be about, although he was sure to make them about only the most essential of topics while he was still using the non-machine generated teachers. He had to cover important ground in case things didn’t work out. Still, it played in hand with his research. If he found an object that struck him as perfect for the job, he may have to form the Lesson around them.</p>
<p>.............</p>
<p>Hours of scrolling through websites and reading through texts had left his eyes sore, and yet he showed no signs of stopping. He desperately needed the perfect storm. Someone willing to take the job, someone who fit his idea well, but he couldn’t shoot too high yet. He needed everything to be formulated perfectly. This was a test run, more than anything else.</p>
<p>As he rubbed his eyes for what felt like the thousandth time, Roy’s attention was grabbed by one name on the list. A sketchbook object named Paige. Rejected from over 30 jobs in less than 3 years, and seemingly on the run. Oh yes, this was the one. Roy felt it in his bones, this would be the perfect startup for his masterfully laid... education.</p>
<p>He scrawled down some notes and gathered his things into a bag. He’d need to do more reconnaissance work first, just to make sure, but everything was looking up.</p>
<p>As he walked out of the house towards the backdoor exit program of the world, he was stopped by the feeling of eyes boring into his skull. Roy turned slowly to meet Red’s gaze. That fucking freak.</p>
<p>“Where are you going?” the kid growled, almost under his breath.</p>
<p>“It’s not of importance.”</p>
<p>...........</p>
<p>Roy watched as the little object stumbled over themself, clearly exhausted and miserable. They held in what appeared to be vomit before checking their peripheral vision and curling up to sleep.</p>
<p>Oh this was perfect.</p>
<p>Roy couldn’t ask for a better startup. This little freak would surely be so desperate that they wouldn’t even THINK of questioning their job. He didn’t have ANYTHING to worry about. He ticked a box on his notebook and walked back towards the town. He’d been studying the new Teacher for weeks, but his kids would probably not even notice he was gone. Perhaps, he thought to himself, they’d only think he’d been gone for a few minutes.</p>
<p>He still considered winding the dial up a few notches, just in case.</p>
<p>.........</p>
<p>As Roy dragged the half unconscious object into his car, he thought about how bright the future seemed.</p>
<p>..........</p>
<p>The tall man typed up the final drafts of the script, in the real world, just for good measure.</p>
<p>One for the Students, and one for the Teacher.</p>
<p>He looked at the last page of the two manuscripts.</p>
<p>Best not to draw any suspicion. Just in case.</p>
<p>He tore out the last page.</p>
<p>..........</p>
<p>“So why’d ya call us here dad?” Yellow piped up.</p>
<p>“I have some unfortunate news.” He paused, as to make sure they were all paying attention. “Someone dangerous has broken in to our world.”</p>
<p>Roy stifled his excitement just below the surface of his eyes as he watched the children’s faces drop into horror.</p>
<p>“What?! How?! How did this happen??” Red demanded. Always so pushy that one. Still, valid questions he SUPPOSED.</p>
<p>“I, unfortunately, do not know. As soon as I find out how, I’ll make sure to patch it.”</p>
<p>“Are we gonna be okay?” Duck whined. Damn brat, always so self centered.</p>
<p>“Well, the invader did correspond with me. They said they wanted to... play with you three.” The trio glanced between each other in confusion. “They want you to play along, or else they’ll hurt you.”</p>
<p>“And how exactly are we supposed to do that?”</p>
<p>Roy tossed the half script onto the table.</p>
<p>“I’d memorize your lines. Just in case they’re serious about this.”</p>
<p>Roy walked out the room with the same neutral, balanced, empty air he always had. As he took one last glance at the three, he noticed the two youngest completely and desperately scanning the pages, while the eldest glared at him.</p>
<p>It seemed Red wasn’t buying it. Roy supposed he wouldn’t have either. No matter. He’ll believe it when it happens.</p>
<p>And if he happens to forget a few lines, that’s quite alright too.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0053"><h2>53. Teach You A Lesson Chapter 6: Dhmis and On</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>mmmm gonna do some thing</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Silent.</p>
<p>The three children waited patiently in the kitchen. The mysterious threat was supposed to arrive sometime soon. Roy had left them behind. He was probably too scared to make sure they were safe, or he wouldn’t have agreed to this in the first place. The room seemed much more decorated than any of them remembered it being. Had it always been like this?</p>
<p>With no warning at all, a strange object crawled out from under the table and hopped on top of it.</p>
<p>“What’s your favorite idea? Mine is being creative!” A strange reverb sounded off of that last word.</p>
<p>Yellow quickly followed up with the next line, eager to not mess anything up. “How do you get the idea?”</p>
<p>“I just try to think creatively!” Where was that music coming from? “Now when you look at this orange,” they produced the produce out of thin air, “tell me please, what do you see?”</p>
<p>“It’s just a boring old orange.”</p>
<p>“Maybe to you, but not to me.”</p>
<p>The object tossed the orange in the air, legs sprouting from it as it hopped across the table. The object’s face was unwaveringly cheery, but in a disingenuous way. Like they were smiling for a school photograph.</p>
<p>“I see a silly face! Walking along and smiling at me!”</p>
<p>“I don’t see what you mean.” Duck thought it strange that his lines were so contrarian. It was pretty obvious what the object was referring to.</p>
<p>“Cuz you’re not thinking creatively!” The object hopped off the table and ran their hands through their papery hair excitedly. “So take a look at my hair!”</p>
<p>“Cool!”</p>
<p>“I use my hair to express myself!”</p>
<p>Wait, what was the next line? Uh... crap, think of something- “That sounds really boring.”</p>
<p>The object didn’t seem too taken aback, and they simply repeated the line more forcefully.</p>
<p>The four suddenly found themselves looking out the window, when they had certainly been sitting down before. “Now, when you look at the clouds in the sky, don’t you find it exciting?”</p>
<p>“No.”</p>
<p>“Come on, take another look!”</p>
<p>“Oh, I can see a hat, I can see a cat, I can see a man with a baseball bat!” Red didn’t join the rhymes. Something felt off, but he couldn’t put his finger on it. This wasn’t as bad as he was expecting though, so that was one good thing at least. He found himself subconsciously nodding his head to the music, even though he wasn’t singing. “I can see a dog, I can see a frog, I can see a ladder leaning on a log!”</p>
<p>Back at the table. “I think you’re getting the hang of it now! Using your minds to have a good time!”</p>
<p>“I might paint a picture of a clown!”</p>
<p>“Woah there friend, you might need to slow down!”</p>
<p>Yellow didn’t even realize he’d painted the picture until the object slammed their hand against the canvas, ink dripping onto it as they slid down. He felt a strange pang through his heart in the following silence, though. He shouldn’t have felt that bad about the picture, seeing as he didn’t remember making it. Perhaps it was more the look everyone else was giving him.</p>
<p>The music jump started again. “Here’s another good tip, on how to be a creative wiz kid. Go and collect some leaves and sticks, and arrange them into your favorite color!”</p>
<p>The kids found that the task took less than a second, even though they could feel themselves getting up and painstakingly collecting each branch. Red’s head hurt.</p>
<p>“Blue.” “Red.” “Green!”</p>
<p>“Green is not a creative color.”</p>
<p>Yellow’s face dropped and Duck looked half close to decking this weird object.</p>
<p>“There’s one more thing that you need to know, before you let your creativity flow! Listen to your heart, listen to the rain, listen to the voices in your brain.”</p>
<p>The object’s face distorted into a freakish smile and the words they said didn’t seem to be coming from their mouth.</p>
<p>“Come on guys, let’s get creative!”</p>
<p>They couldn’t really feel their bodies. When they moved their arms to use the art supplies, it didn’t really feel right. It was as if someone was reaching through their body to make them move, like stepping into a mascot suit. But it was still them, right? No one else was around to make Red grab that human heart that had always been laying on the ground but there wasn’t any blood was there, no there never was. And it has always been raining up until a few seconds ago when it just started pouring down a hailstorm and it wasn’t dark and scary it was at all. Something was spinning. Their heads hurt.</p>
<p>Their bodies felt very heavy. Like an extra 100 kilos had been added but it didn’t hurt right, of course it didn’t nothing hurt because nothing felt at all and there was nothing but spinning spirals and sharp objects that were dull and empty and lifeless like their eyes but when they looked in each other’s eyes they didn’t see eyes they saw someone else someone else was there instead of them and it hurt and it was quiet and there was so much fun to be had around this tiny little world of theirs where there was glitter and magnetic letters flying around the sky and they were gone but THEY were still here and the human heart wasn’t a human heart it was an eyeball falling into a pit into a cake into the mouth of a bird that didn’t exist and something was crawling around inside the walls and the cake tasted delicious it was just like how mom used to make it and his head really hurt it felt as if his neck was snapping but they were fine.</p>
<p>And they were back at the table, clean and pristine as it was before.</p>
<p>Yellow swung his head around, taking in the scenery. It was... normal? It was almost as if nothing had happened before. But if that was true then he wouldn’t be hyperventilating and his brothers wouldn’t be shaking.</p>
<p>The three looked at the object. They still wore a smile. A horrendous, disgusting, filthy smile. And their whole body shook.</p>
<p>“Now let’s all agree, to never be creative again.”</p>
<p>The object collapsed and their head cracked against the ground, ink spilling across the tiled floor. Red jumped out of his chair and backed away, quickly grabbing his brothers’ hands and sprinting out the door.</p>
<p>..............</p>
<p>“I take it you survived the encounter with the hostile object?”</p>
<p>Red hasn’t even noticed where he was going until he slammed right into Roy and fell backwards towards the ground, the other two just barely holding him up. He couldn’t put into words what he wanted to say to Roy; his head was still swimming from whatever the hell THAT was. Which was lucky because Roy didn’t seem interested in hearing what they had to say anyways.</p>
<p>“I’m sure I’ll figure out how to prevent this kind of thing from happening again, but I’m sure whatever they had to say was very enlightening. Perhaps you should think on it.” With that, Roy left the room.</p>
<p>Red groaned and pressed his hands to his head. “He’s not even trying to be subtle,” he growled.</p>
<p>“What do you mean?” asked Yellow.</p>
<p>Well of course he wouldn’t get it.</p>
<p>“That... that wasn’t real right? We’re all collectively agreeing that whatever just happened wasn’t real?” Duck’s voice wavered as he gestured towards the hall they’d just ran in from.</p>
<p>“What? No we’re not! How could that not be real?” Red sputtered back.</p>
<p>“I- it could be... uh... a hallucination! Yes, a hallucination that can’t actually hurt us! Or- or a dream! YES, it was a collective dream that all three of us had together.”</p>
<p>“Is that even possible?”</p>
<p>Yellow chimed in. “N- no I think Duck’s right. It was probably just a dream. There’s no way that actually happened. I’m sure we’ll wake up tomorrow morning and completely forget all about it.”</p>
<p>Red rolled his eyes. They were obviously deflecting, but it’s not like he was gonna stop them. Besides, on the off chance they were right, that’d still be a good thing.</p>
<p>“Well in that case, we should probably go to sleep so we CAN wake up tomorrow morning. I don’t know about you, but I feel a bit too stuffed to eat dinner.”</p>
<p>“Mhm,” Yellow nodded.</p>
<p>Duck trailed after the two but about halfway down the hall he stopped.</p>
<p>“Uh- about that feeling stuffed thing. I-“</p>
<p>Duck keeled over and retched onto the carpet, but instead of a clear goo spilling out, a red sludge splattered against the floor. Yellow jumped behind Red, who had taken a few steps back in horror. Duck coughed and hacked for a moment, expunging all of the blood and and organs from that earlier cake that was definitely real.</p>
<p>The ten year old boy fell backwards against the floor and scrambled away from the stain, his hands shooting to his mouth to muffle a scream. This had the unintended consequences of tainting his hands with the cake filling.</p>
<p>Well, it was a bit harder to pass that little episode off as a dream now.</p>
<p>..................</p>
<p>Weeks passed with the quiet agreement between the three to not talk about the incident. After all, they were all there, it was still completely unexplainable. There wasn’t really anything to say.</p>
<p>There was the occasional nightmare about it, but that wasn’t anything new. They all had grown accustomed to nightmares at this point. Besides, the content of these dreams never compared to the horror of the reality. Their brains simply couldn’t comprehend the reality.</p>
<p>The object didn’t show up again, although Roy had SO graciously informed them about their strange attacker. Apparently, before he’d expunged them from the world, he’d conducted a small interview with them. While Yellow visualized Roy beating up the object to get information, Red had a feeling Roy was weird enough to interview this psychopath like a normal person. Regardless, they now knew that it was a corrupted object named Paige the Sketchbook that had managed to use their corruption to bypass some of the safety measures of the virtual world, which for some suspiciously convenient reason didn’t have any measure to counteract corruption.</p>
<p>Sometimes, when they were out playing in the woods, one of the kids would think they’d caught a glimpse of Paige again. But surely that was just their paranoia talking.</p>
<p>They never went back in that kitchen. But they probably didn’t need to put thought into it. The room seemed to disappear the day after the incident, and they weren’t even sure it had existed before the incident either.</p>
<p>............</p>
<p>Roy was extremely disappointed with the fact that he’d lost his first test subject to poor planning. He’d make sure that next time he wanted to kill an employee, he’d choose a more secure room.</p>
<p>However, he’d also remedy his other mistake. He’d picked someone too soft. Sure, Paige was desperate, but they clearly weren’t too keen on following his orders when push came to shove, even if they did what he said regardless. No, he needed someone much worse. And frankly, he needed someone more powerful. He’d pulled a lot of the warping weight in that last lesson, so he’d need a very old object with much control over their powers.</p>
<p>His eyes turned to the history books, and the ancient myths. There was someone he had in mind. Someone ancient, cruel, and powerful. Someone who he knew wouldn’t turn down this opportunity for cruelty, and would be able to wreak havoc upon his annoying children.</p>
<p>Roy began to write the script on time.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0054"><h2>54. Teach You A Lesson Chapter 7: Dhmis 2 and On</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>last chapter of the day! my was I productive!</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>How convenient.</p>
<p>How terribly FUCKING convenient.</p>
<p>Wow, another corrupt object managed to worm its way in? And it just so happens to want to sing a song too? Golly gee, it’s just the darndest thing! They must all be friends with the same ideas then. This song was even longer than last time, from the looks of the script. Roy didn’t even act like he cared. The younger two caught on fairly fast. Perhaps one instance of this was strange enough to believe but two times in a row? No, this was intentional torment. But it wasn’t like they could do anything about it.</p>
<p>They waited in the room, their chairs nicely coordinated around the television that probably didn’t use to be there. It was cold and there was an annoying ticking sound. The children’s heads swam and they hoped that it wouldn’t be as bad as last time.</p>
<p>“Come on guys, quit mucking around. We only have five minutes until our show’s on.” What a strange line to start off with, he though to himself.</p>
<p>“That’s not enough time!”</p>
<p>“There’s always time for a song.”</p>
<p>Why was he nailed to the wall? HOW was he nailed to the wall. Had he always been there?</p>
<p>“What- who is that?” That certainly wasn’t in the script but Red couldn’t help himself. He didn’t look how the kid had expected.</p>
<p>The trio glanced between themselves awkwardly as the object started a strange dance. He looked like he was having fun at least?</p>
<p>“Time is a tool you can put on the wall or wear it on your rizd. The past is far behind us. The future doesn’t exist.”</p>
<p>That was a lot of rapid fire things that just happened. The object grabbed Yellow’s arm before darting away, then he made the wall... shift? And now their favorite picture was gone. They liked that picture so much; they were actually smiling in it.</p>
<p>“Oh.”</p>
<p>“What’s the time?” Yellow interrupted on beat.</p>
<p>“It’s quarter to nine! Time to have a bath.” The water was freezing cold. Also WHY ARE WE IN A BATHTUB?</p>
<p>“What do you mean? We’re already clean?”</p>
<p>The object pulled a scrubber out of nowhere and scraped it against Yellow until his skin scabbed and blood dripped into the tub. “Scrub scrub scrub til the water’s brown.” The object’s face faltered for the slightest of seconds.</p>
<p>“Time is a ruler to measure the day, it doesn’t go backwards, only one way. Watch it go round like a merry go round, going so fast like a merry go round.”</p>
<p>The tall object smiled to himself, strategically cleared his throat, and burst into operatic singing as the room faded into space. “LET’S GO ON A JOURNEY, A JOURNEY THROUGH ALL TIME! A TIME THAT’S CHANGING ALL THE TIME, IT’S TIME TO GO TO T I M E!”</p>
<p>Red held back a snort at the object’s voice crack and lifted up a schedule that suddenly appeared in his hand, which he was certain he didn’t make appear. “But we don’t really want to, we’re going to miss our show.” Uh, he wasn’t ever a very good singer...</p>
<p>The object whipped his head around, still grinning ear to ear, but looking like he was restraining a scream. “Don’t be stupid friends, come on, it’s time to go!”</p>
<p>He sucked in his breath and spat out a burst of lyrics as the four of them traipsed through a weirdly flat village into a forest. Which was strange because the object seemed to share the lyrics with the villagers, but perhaps he was simply controlling them?</p>
<p>“Time is old, like a Victorian time.”</p>
<p>“With cobbles and clay and speaking in rhymes.” “With cobbles and chimneys, a simpler time.” “With cobbles and sawdust and batteries and slime!”</p>
<p>Yellow ripped a tree in half as he moved on to his own lyrics. “The tree that is old has circles inside!” The object visibly reeled at the display of strength and quickly dragged the boy to a much more rotten creature. “The tree that is older has shriveled and died.”</p>
<p>Duck tossed and apple around in his hands—“The apple that’s fresh is ripe to the core!”—before it sprouted a face and melted out of his hands. “But I rot over time and I’m not anymore!”</p>
<p>Red didn’t even have time to look at his brother’s disgusted face before they were all forcibly spun around to look at the sky. “Time can be told by the moon or the sun-“ and there goes their vision “-but time flies fast when you’re having fun.”</p>
<p>Duck found himself playing a card game and two seconds later he saw a gloved hand karate chop his house of cards. He looked up into the object’s face. He looked infuriated but it didn’t seem real. He seemed WAY too happy for an angry person. “There’s a time and a place for mucking around!” Duck felt a pin stab through his shirt. “Like birthdays!”</p>
<p>“And camping.”</p>
<p>“I’m friends with my dad.”</p>
<p>Roy contributed absolutely nothing to the conversation, which was expected. It was more surprising that he showed up at all. The object seemed shocked too, much to Red’s bewilderment. Crap, what was the next line? “And then what happened after the... olden days?”</p>
<p>Oh, back in space I guess. “Time went new, got old like history. Stuff from the past went into a mystery!”</p>
<p>“An old man died.”</p>
<p>“But look a computer! Everything’s cool-“ the object put on a pair of sunglasses which would be endearing if not for whatever horrible thing could happen at any moment “-IT’S THE FUTURE!”</p>
<p>Red and Duck felt something right on their head and found that they couldn’t move their arms. Oh god no was this gonna be another instance of- oh wait they were just strapped in a chair. That’s... not much better.</p>
<p>“Time is now, the future anew, and look at all the wonderful things you can do! Like gadgets and gizmos and email addresses.”</p>
<p>“My dad is a- a- com- a computer.” Yellow didn’t know why he was struggling so much with that line but looking at his dad made his throat dry up. He couldn’t put his finger on why.</p>
<p>The object crawled out of the computer screen and shouted, “Look at the time!”</p>
<p>“It’s quarter to eight, there’s fish on my plate!”</p>
<p>“It’s twenty past day, there’s fish on my tray!”</p>
<p>“It’s eleven to twelve, there’s fish in the bath.” Oh, that’s not sanitary, he thought. Also WHY AM I IN THE BATH AGAIN.</p>
<p>“It’s nine thirty. There’s fish everywhere.” For a split second, Red could’ve sworn he saw someone watching him in the window. Now was not the time to hallucinate. “F- fish everywhere.”</p>
<p>Well at least they were back in the room? Ugh, the last one hadn’t had so much damn traveling. The object rested his hand on his hip, who did he think he was? Some sassy bastard? “Now you can see the importance of time. It helps us make pizzer-“ what “-and keeps things in line.”</p>
<p>“But where did it start?” “And when will it stop?”</p>
<p>“Time is important and I am a clock.”</p>
<p>What?</p>
<p>“If we run out of time, then where does it go?” “Is time even real, does anyone know?”</p>
<p>Duck was actually looking forward to this part because it meant he got to show off how smart he was. “Well maybe time’s just a construct of human perception: an illusion created by-“</p>
<p>The object started making a weird beeping noise. Christ, he was a clock but he wasn’t a fucking alarm! It got louder and louder and Duck readied himself for an attack. Strangely enough though, the man approached Yellow instead and screeched at him until his ears bled. Before either of them could get up to help, the object was already spinning the sky in the window.</p>
<p>“Sunrise, sunset, night and day. The changing seasons, the smell of hay. Look at your hair grow, isn’t it strange? How time makes your appearance change.”</p>
<p>Red felt a pang in his heart and suddenly his scalp felt weird. He ran his fingers through his hair and saw a graying sheen. Duck flinched and coughed up a chunk of red SOMETHING, and his left eye and right hand really hurt. Yellow pulled a mirror up to his face that happened to appear next to him. And it melted. His face melted.</p>
<p>“AAAAGH!”</p>
<p>Red pulled out a chunk of his head. Duck’s eyes started falling out his sockets and his hands skin was disintegrating.</p>
<p>“MAKE IT STOP!!”</p>
<p>Yellow tried to take a look at their attacker as he found himself collapsing out of his chair. He looked so... happy. His whole body screamed in agony as it melted off his skeleton. The boy’s vision grew black and for a small and infinite moment, he felt nothing at all.</p>
<p>Their ears strained in the dark tunnel. Someone was saying something about running out of time.</p>
<p>Then they woke up back in their chairs.</p>
<p>...................</p>
<p>“Okay, so we’re all agreeing that we definitely almost died there, right?” Duck’s voice wavered as he rocked back and forth in his chair. It was hours later and they still hadn’t left the room. Red paced back and forth across the floor. His face wasn’t anxious or angry or anything that the other two could read. It was just blank.</p>
<p>“I- I don’t think we ALMOST died...” muttered Yellow. The other part of his statement needn’t be said. He buried his hands in his overall pockets and stood up nervously.</p>
<p>Red paused his pacing to look at the other two. Why were they so calm about this? Why was HE so calm about this?! Why couldn’t he feel anything? He wanted to feel something, he wanted to be angry that this happened again. That it was WORSE this time around. But he couldn’t.</p>
<p>Maybe he just couldn’t comprehend the horror of it all. Maybe it was better that he didn’t. After all, if he could, who knows how far gone he might become. Red raised his hand to his chin and crossed his other arm. His eyes felt heavy. Maybe this wasn’t so bad. After all, nothing permanently bad had happened. Even if they did actually die, they came back.</p>
<p>He was just making excuses for why he wasn’t feeling anything.</p>
<p>He hated it. It reminded him of his worst days when he was younger. When they didn’t have to worry about maniacal objects, his worst days were full of emptiness and nothing. With the horror of the first incident, at least he felt something.</p>
<p>He’d get over it. He had to.</p>
<p>Red realized he was biting his lip hard enough to bleed and he released his tension. Duck moved from rocking his chair to kicking his legs, before also standing up. They had to leave the room eventually right?</p>
<p>.............</p>
<p>They stayed in the room for the night. Even though it was the room they “died” in, it still somehow felt safer than being in the rest of the house.</p>
<p>Red gazed at the smallest chair in the room and something stirred in his heart.</p>
<p>Why didn't his soul hurt. Was he meant to be like this? Any words in his throat died, it was all just gibberish now. He wouldn't make it. He had to make it. To be there for them. He wasn't angry. He wasn't scared. He wasn't anything. That was the best way to be okay. </p>
<p>He picked up the chair and screamed as he slammed it against the floor, wood splintering everywhere. He let his hands drop the legs and blew his hair out of his face, even though he knew it would just fall right back. Whatever, he didn’t care. Even when he broke it he didn't feel anything. That was his last ditch effort to see if this was the best option. It really was. He’d accepted it the night they spent in this room. He’d just have to curl in on himself and not feel anything if he wanted to survive this. He could probably teach the other two how to be empty too. If that was for the best. </p>
<p>Red walked out the door, leaving his brothers to wake up on their own. He wasn’t sure how they slept through his outburst though.</p>
<p>Duck woke up a few minutes later. He looked at his hands. They’d been clenched so tightly that there were fingernail stab marks in them.</p>
<p>Yellow woke up an hour later and cleaned up the splintered wood. He wanted the place to be clean. And he didn’t want anyone to get in trouble for it.</p>
<p>.............</p>
<p>Roy was so very elated. Everything had worked perfectly this time! MORE than perfectly! He’d been sure to keep an eye on Tony during the song; he couldn’t trust someone like that with his kids. And he was right. The bastard had nearly offed all three of them at once. But he had surprising control of his powers, so it seemed Roy worried for nothing.</p>
<p>If he could put the notorious Tony the Talking Clock under his thumb, then perhaps he could aim even higher. Roy could only imagine the kind of power a god or spirit could have in his world.</p>
<p>In fact, he had a very particular spirit in mind.</p>
<p>First though, he needed some money.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0055"><h2>55. Teach You A Lesson Chapter 8: A Quick Break for Home Horror</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>this was my attempt to integrate the kickstarter vids</p>
<p>idk if i was or am very happy with how this chapter turned out so i might have to edit a bit more</p>
<p>reeeeeeeed don't let your self-loathing convince you that this is somehow your fault even though Roy screwed everyone up noooo don't relapse you're too cute ahaha</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>To be honest, after all the horrible things the three of them had gone through, faking their own kidnapping felt pretty mundane. Didn’t make it any less horrible but still. It was too easy to be jaded nowadays.</p>
<p>Roy wasn’t being awfully subtle about having ulterior motives, even if those motives were extremely unclear. He just said he needed a lot of money really quickly. Any normal person would’ve just gotten a job or programmed a scambot but Roy wasn’t normal, was he? No, logically he had to record his children being held hostage and use it for ransoming! It’s not like he could be tracked down in the virtual world anyways. How... clever...</p>
<p>Duck wasn’t all too keen on being tied to a chair in a dinky basement that “smelled like rats and gasoline.” Though Yellow had always been obedient to his father, he did find this a bit... odd. Even in comparison to what had already happened. They were mostly concerned for Red though, who hadn’t made a single enraged comment or even so much as shot a glare at Roy. They’d be nervously awaiting it all day and through the entire filming session and yet- Nothing? He read his few lines and then it was over.</p>
<p>Yellow sat on his chair, swinging his legs and tapping to himself. Duck had already walked out the basement for his lunch break. That was a fun way to think of it, they were just actors! Yeah, just performing for a movie like on the TV and his dad was the director. That’s all it was... Yellow said he didn't want to eat, but he'd really stayed behind so Red wouldn't be alone.</p>
<p>“...So...” he started after ages of silence. “Are you... okay?”</p>
<p>Red blew his hair out of his face and it almost immediately fell back in line. “What do you mean?”</p>
<p>“Well it’s just... you’re usually not this... fine? With anything dad wants to do. So I was just asking if you were okay. Sorry.”</p>
<p>“Don’t apologize. I’m fine.” He didn't make any subtle movements, no little personable tics. Nothing.</p>
<p>Yellow furrowed his brow and clenched his teeth. “N- no. No you’re not? I can tell. I'm not stupid.”</p>
<p>“I am fine.”</p>
<p>“No.”</p>
<p>“Mhm.”</p>
<p>“Nuh-uh.”</p>
<p>“Uh-huh.”</p>
<p>“UGH!” Yellow threw up his arms and pushed himself off the chair, nearly tripping over the rope lingering on the ground. “No you’re not! I don’t like you being like this, not at-all! Why aren’t you being- being anything?! Aren't you upset?? You're usually the one upset right?” Red shot a very quick concerned glance as the boy flexed his fists in frustration. “You don't have to pretend everything's fine! That's m- my job! Why don't you care? Y- you’re being really weird right now and- and I don't think I can take any more weird!”</p>
<p>The little boy's body shivered and he tugged on the sleeves of his shirt. Yellow looked as if he wanted to say more, but after a moment's deliberation, he simply left to join Duck.</p>
<p>Red fiddled with his hair absentmindedly, not really thinking about anything for once in his life. It was liberating in a weird way, not being bombarded with horrific thoughts all the time. Not feeling anything, and of his own free will too. Still, it wasn’t exactly pleasant, but this was the only way. If he let himself think about what was happening too hard, if he even started showing intense emotion again- well... he was too scared to think about what might happen. Besides, so far nothing bad had happened because of this. His inaction and apathy seemed to have more pros than cons. Yellow just didn't understand why it was good to not be upset about this. To not be anything about this. It was his only way to survive.</p>
<p>But if it proved detrimental.... Red wasn’t exactly sure what he’d do then. </p>
<p>He had decided to not ask his brother's to do the same. It likely wasn't good for their mental health. Besides, they were younger, and they weren't depressed. They had more energy than him. </p>
<p>.............</p>
<p>Duck woke up to Yellow crying into his pillow. The (virtual) moon was still high in the sky. The little boy hopped out of his bed and walked over to console his brother.</p>
<p>“It’s okay, I’m here.”</p>
<p>Yellow leaned against Duck as his breathing slowed to normalcy. He clenched his shirt and slowly opened his mouth.</p>
<p>“I just- everything, y’know? It’s a lot.”</p>
<p>“Yeah I get it. But hey, it’ll probably be over soon at least.”</p>
<p>“What makes you say that?”</p>
<p>“Well uh-“ Truthfully, he didn’t have any reason to believe that but- “its good to be optimistic!”</p>
<p>Yellow wiped his eyes. “Mhm... you’re right.” He paused and looked over at Red’s empty bed. “I’m glad you came to help and not... Red.”</p>
<p>“What? How come?”</p>
<p>“He’s being really really REALLY weird!”</p>
<p>“Wow, three really's. This must be serious.”</p>
<p>Yellow nodded and pushed Duck off the bed. “You should go to sleep now. I’ll be fine.”</p>
<p>"You sure get over things quickly..?"</p>
<p>"Of course I do!" he smiled ominously.</p>
<p>Duck glanced over at Red's bed as he slid away from Yellow. It looked as if no one had touched it in days. Maybe he should talk to him...</p>
<p>.................</p>
<p>Duck had the taller boy cornered in a hallway.</p>
<p>“Alright, spill the beans. Why’re you acting so weird right now?”</p>
<p>“What do you mean?”</p>
<p>“Well Yellow told me you're acting weird, and I thought about it and yeah, you have. You know what I mean! You’re acting so- so NOTHING! You’re being weird and empty and not caring and I don’t like it! It's not you at all. You can tell me if something happened, I promise I won’t snitch!” Duck looked pleadingly at his brother, thinking about how fun it would be for him to confide in him. It could be a little secret if they wanted!</p>
<p>Red subconsciously smiled before forcing it away. No. Nothing.</p>
<p>“It’s easier this way. If I don’t care, I’ll be okay. This way.”</p>
<p>Duck’s face contorted into confusion followed by frustration.</p>
<p>“WHAT?? HOW CAN YOU SAY THAT!? We- we go through so much GARBAGE- how can you not care? D- do you not care about us? About me and Yellow?”</p>
<p>Red's eyebrow twitched slightly. “It’s Yellow and me.” </p>
<p>Duck floundered desperately, muffled his scream, and punched Red in the arm as hard as he could, which wasn’t very painful. He glared at Red, hoping his visible anger would awaken something in him and he’d go back to being his normal self. Nothing happened.</p>
<p>“I- I...”</p>
<p>"I really do care Duck. I care so so much that it hurts. It makes me want to die. It makes me want to hurt someone. All of this? This stuff happening? It's too much. I don't want to have to handle it. I don't want to think about it, I don't want to feel about it." He leaned his head slightly, his hair falling in front of his face as he started to slide down the wall. "I'm too tired to do all that. So I'm just... not. Doesn't that make sense?"</p>
<p>Please. Please let it make sense...</p>
<p>Duck looked down at his older brother, curled against himself on the floor. "That sounds like a horrible way to live! You- I don't understand! What about us, can't we help you with this? Can't we all do this together so you don't have to feel like giving up? We don't have to handle this alone... right?"</p>
<p>"I shouldn't drag you into my brain. I don't think that's very good for little kids."</p>
<p>"I'm not a little kid! I'm ten years old, and I can help my older brother feel better if I want to!"</p>
<p>"It's not about feeling better, Duck," Red stated with a bite. This conversation was growing uncomfortably close to having to explain to his little brother what Depression is. That was the opposite of what he wanted. "Look, just go to bed. Now. We're not talking about this anymore."</p>
<p>"Wh- but-"</p>
<p>"Go. Now."</p>
<p>Duck groaned in irritation and muffled another scream. "UGH you're so annoying! Why are you like this?? G- I-"</p>
<p>He didn't understand at all. But that's okay. Red didn't really expect him to anyways. </p>
<p>"I HATE YOU!"</p>
<p>He didn't mean it, Red rationalized as his little brother stormed off back to his room. He didn't understand. He didn't actually hate him. He just had nothing else to say.</p>
<p>And if he really did hate him, well, it's not like he didn't deserve it. It was his fault after all.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0056"><h2>56. Teach You A Lesson Chapter 9: Dhmis 3 and On</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>okay yay this one's pretty fine</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>They were used to hanging out in the woods. It wasn’t like there was anywhere else to go. The virtual world didn’t offer much in terms of variety. There was the single short street of houses in the center, surrounded by woods on 3/4 of the sides and plains (cut off by woods) at the last bit. So it wasn’t too strange that they’d be doing one of the weird sing-y things there.</p>
<p>Two’s a coincidence; three’s a pattern. There was no doubt that Roy was behind all this, but it’s not like that information DID anything. They couldn’t stop him, not really. They just had to hope he’d get whatever he wanted out of this and be over with it soon.</p>
<p>Duck didn’t really like that the script told him he had to make his little brother cry. A few months ago, he wouldn’t really have given much thought to poking fun at Yellow, but this wasn’t a few months ago. It just felt dully sickening now.</p>
<p>Yellow found himself on a tree branch, alone, not quite sure of how he got up there.</p>
<p>“It makes you sad, doesn’t it? That there’s so much hatred in the world. I hope you don’t mind if I ask you a question.”</p>
<p>That was a... really tall... flying thing. Person? It looked sorta human but humans don’t have teal skin and... it certainly wasn’t an object.</p>
<p>“A little baby pigeon” spilled out of his mouth without thinking.</p>
<p>“Have you ever wondered why we’re here? What’s it all about, you’ve no idea. But everywhere you look, all you see is hatred. And darkness, death, and fear. But you know it doesn’t have to be, that I hate you, and you hate me. Cuz even though we’re different, it doesn’t make a difference, and we can live in harmony!”</p>
<p>Yellow’s head felt fuzzy, and he tried to refocus. But something about the voice and the weird music and he was up oh so high. He wanted to fall asleep. Was this what Red felt like? Wasn’t he supposed to be mad about something...</p>
<p>“Though you don’t know who I am, but maybe I could hold your hand, and together we could understand about love!”</p>
<p>“Huh? I feel tingly!”</p>
<p>“Yes that’s love my friend. And it’s time that you learned all about it!”</p>
<p>Yellow didn’t really care that he was suddenly on a cloud floating through the air. It kinda made sense to him, at least way more than the last song did. But he could’ve sworn he already knew a lot about love. He loved his siblings, he loved his house, he loved dad. [Right?]</p>
<p>He suddenly realized that he hadn’t been paying attention to the song, but he didn’t really need to. He felt his lines tumble out of his mouth without much thought, but it felt very wrong. Like his tongue was made of barbed wire.</p>
<p>“But what is love, is it in the sky?”</p>
<p>“No it’s a feeling deep inside!”</p>
<p>“Because I’m hungry!”</p>
<p>“No you’re lonely! I can see it in your eyes!”</p>
<p>“I don’t understand...” That was perhaps the first genuine thing he’d said since running away from his brothers. His brothers... he’d just left them alone. What if something horrible had a happened to them?! While he was up here being distracted by this weird flying thing, they could be attacked by a-</p>
<p>“So here we all with all my friends, and they love you: all of them!”</p>
<p>He’d gotten lost in his head again. This wasn’t supposed to happen! His brain felt so fuzzy and unfocused and lost! He was almost glad that he wasn’t controlling what was coming out of his mouth; he could hardly THINK straight, let alone talk.</p>
<p>.....</p>
<p>“Maybe we should look for our friend, isn’t that what friends do? And we have finished the chicken picnic.”</p>
<p>Duck thought about the raw chicken resting in his stomach, fully prepared to infect him with any unknown amount of diseases and calamities. Thinking about the fact that Yellow was nowhere to be seen and the fact that he had felt unconscious and lifeless for the past few minutes with only a few seconds of reprieve to say his lines. It was like he didn’t even exist outside of-</p>
<p>.....</p>
<p>“To love each other is to care, to be kind.”</p>
<p>“And to share!”</p>
<p>God, his brain hurt, it hurt so much it was like it was splitting open. Everyone sang so loudly and his mind’s eye was growing as fuzzy as his thoughts. He couldn’t formulate words, and he couldn’t see anything, even as he started talking about what he loved and special one’s and THAT’S NOT ME!</p>
<p>If I’m not saying that, then who is?! It can’t be me! Why can’t I think, why can’t I see, this isn’t fair, I hate you!</p>
<p>“That’s the way that all love goes.”</p>
<p>“Like a flower it grows and grows!”</p>
<p>“And it’s forever.”</p>
<p>“And forever!”</p>
<p>“And now we all worship our king.”</p>
<p>Yellow’s brain fog dissipated as soon as the line was finished. He looked up to see the clouds had darkened from a soft peach to a sickly dark blue green hue. A strange stone face was surrounded by- why were there so many creatures here?</p>
<p>“His name is Malcolm.”</p>
<p>“He is the king of love.”</p>
<p>“We must feed him.”</p>
<p>“We must feed him gravel.”</p>
<p>“Or he becomes angry.”</p>
<p>Yellow’s wrists hurt. He looked down to find himself in a chair- but that wasn’t- He wished his headache was back so he wouldn’t have to be here- he couldn’t do this again. The weird person was getting closer but he didn’t like it no no not at all and his eye really hurt something weird was crawling under his eye and into his socket and it hurt so much and his wrists were so tightly strapped and everything felt so dark and the weird guy was right up in his face and he was Back on the tree branch.</p>
<p>“Oh. We’ve been looking for you all afternoon.”</p>
<p>“We’re sorry we upset you, but look! We brought you the last boiled egg. To cheer you up!”</p>
<p>“...For me?”</p>
<p>An indescribable amalgamation of flesh and organs burst out the egg before Duck squashed it with a blank look on his face.</p>
<p>.............</p>
<p>Duck helped Yellow out the tree after wiping his hands clean of any residual goo. Red resigned himself to half heartedly kicking the eggshells away before turning back to the other two.</p>
<p>“That was a pretty tame episode huh. Guess I don’t have much to worry about.”</p>
<p>Duck shot a glare at him. “Hmm, I thought you didn’t worry about anything.”</p>
<p>Red was halfway into an eye roll before he spotted something strange. “H- Hey Yellow, what’s that on your face?”</p>
<p>“There’s something on my face?”</p>
<p>Duck turned to take a closer look and- yep that was something screwed up. Red cautiously knelt in front of him and took a closer look. A pure black substance seemed to be almost carved or drawn on top of Yellow’s skin, from the left half of his jaw up into his left eye.</p>
<p>Red inched a hand towards the goo, and as soon as he brushed a finger against it, it spiked up and stabbed into his hand. He jolted backwards and cursed, muffling his scream and wrapping his hand in his hoodie. Yellow shouted in surprise and rushed over to him.</p>
<p>“Oh my gosh are you okay? I- I’m sorry I don’t know what happened!”</p>
<p>“I’m- I’m fine-“ he said as he shoved his bloodied hand into his pocket. “Are you okay? That was- what is that?”</p>
<p>“I dunno! I’m really really sorry! I was just talking to that flying guy-” he gestured at the empty sky “-and then my head hurt and now there’s this thing on my face and I-“</p>
<p>“Wait, what?” Duck interrupted. “So you were the only one who saw the teacher this time?”</p>
<p>Yellow nodded. He pulled Red to his feet and scanned him with another worried look. As he reached his brother’s face, Red could’ve sworn he saw a flash of... well, red, in his brother’s eyes. Oh god...</p>
<p>Fuck, he’d been so stupid! Christ, if he hadn’t been acting so dumb and horrible, maybe he could’ve done something? Roy probably thought only Yellow needed worked on because he’s been so complacent! Or maybe not, but that didn’t matter, he’d still screwed up. His apathy wasn’t working, that’s for sure. Now his brother was getting specifically targeted and hurt and had a PERMANENT mark on his face that he REALLY hoped wasn’t what he thought it was. But he’d have to look it up. And to look it up he’d have to go back to the house. And if he was going back to the house then-</p>
<p>“Are you okay? You’re shaking.” Yellow tugged on Red’s sleeve.</p>
<p>The teen’s face hardened and his voice lowered. “I’m fine. Roy’s not gonna be.”</p>
<p>Duck and Yellow shot a look at each other as he stormed off towards the house. Was he back to normal after all these months? They took off to catch up to him.</p>
<p>.........</p>
<p>Duck tightened his grip on his little brother’s hand as the trio approached their house. Roy seemed to be eagerly waiting on the porch. Red stomped up to him, ready to argue.</p>
<p>“I see it went well.”</p>
<p>“You shut your fucking mouth.” Red muttered, quiet enough for the other two not to hear. “If I find out that you’re responsible for THAT happening to him, I don’t care how much I get hurt in the process: I am going to fucking kill you.”</p>
<p>“Trust me, I didn’t expect it either.”</p>
<p>Red shoved Roy off the porch and grabbed his brother’s. Yellow let go of Duck to walk up and halfheartedly hug Roy before following them. Then Red slammed the door.</p>
<p>..........</p>
<p>The Mark of Malcolm is very distinct, unfortunately. It wasn’t finished, fortunately.</p>
<p>...........</p>
<p>"Oh my god oh my god oh my god- fuck fuck, this is my fault this-"</p>
<p>Red paced back and forth through the bedroom, wringing his hands and running them frantically through his hair. Duck and Yellow sat curled up next to each other on one of the beds, anxiously watching him.</p>
<p>"I should've tried harder I should've tried, oh my god, I did this, this is my fault- I- I'm gonna kill him, I'm gonna kill him."</p>
<p>Duck leaned closer to Yellow and whispered, "I mean... I'm glad he's not a shell of a person anymore but..."</p>
<p>"This is kinda worse..." Yellow finished. They were much more used to him being angry at the three of them getting hurt, that's how he handled it. He had that righteous anger or whatever, right? He wasn't usually so... panicked. Duck shot another pained expression at him before hopping off the bed and cautiously walking to his older brother. Red shrank back at his touch before realizing that it was just him. Yellow trailed behind.</p>
<p>"It's okay Red, really! It doesn't even hurt, I'm fine." He waved a pair of jazz hands next to his face. "And it's not your fault at all. You didn't know this would happen."</p>
<p>Red narrowed his eyes for a second. "Roy... god I- I fucking hate him..." He sank to his knees and buried his face in his hands. "I hate him so much..."</p>
<p>Duck crouched next to him and ran his hand through his hair. "Don't worry, I hate him too." </p>
<p>Yellow tilted his head as if in confusion, although his expression said otherwise. He didn't hate his dad. Right? </p>
<p>....................</p>
<p>Roy was honestly too busy to worry about that little brat’s outburst. He had other things on his mind. Like the fact that Shrignold had gone so disgustingly off script and attempted that little stunt of his. Perhaps he’d shot too high, hoping a god would follow his orders. Oh well, that wouldn’t matter in the machine.</p>
<p>But the machine wasn’t done, and he still needed more time.</p>
<p>His next teacher needed to remedy the disaster that was the love lesson. Someone who would follow his orders exactly. A robot or more mechanical object would be ideal, but there was always the threat of them being too morally bound in their code. He needed someone that was emotionally unstable, if robots could even be said to have emotions.</p>
<p>He’d keep an eye out for any potential murders. A few months ago, he’d heard of one near an abandoned laboratory. Perhaps something could come of this.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0057"><h2>57. Teach You A Lesson Chapter 10: Dhmis 4 and...</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>uh oh spaghettios </p>
<p>did you know there is a tiny bit of consciousness after decapitation</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It had been about four months since this little bizarro nightmare started, with a new teacher showing up about every month. The anticipation had dulled a bit after the pattern was recognized, but it didn’t make it any less nerve wracking when they had to walk into the room, knowing something bad was gonna happen.</p>
<p>They had realized after last episode that there might actually be permanent consequences for the monstrosities that occurred during these incidents. Hopefully, it was just a fluke, a misstep. The mark hadn’t gone away, or even shrunk in the month since the encounter with the butterfly, but it didn’t really hurt either. They just couldn’t touch it. Still, Red had realized his attempts to feign apathy and indifference weren’t going to work anymore. And that’s why he had to be dealt with.</p>
<p>Thankfully for Roy, he was. Even if it wasn’t planned.</p>
<p>.....</p>
<p>“Oh. I guess it’s my turn to choose a card. Hmm. What is the biggest thing in the world?” It was nice that the set up was a game of sorts. It almost felt normal in a way. More natural than just sitting around waiting for something to happen.</p>
<p>“Hmm. That’s a tricky one!”</p>
<p>“A mountains? A sky? A windmi-“</p>
<p>“No!”</p>
<p>Duck really hated how rude he was supposed to act. The worst part for him was that it wasn’t out of character. He’d really need to reevaluate himself when this was all over.</p>
<p>“If only there was some way to learn more about the world.”</p>
<p>The script hadn’t exactly made clear what they were supposed to be learning this time. The trio aimlessly gazed at the globe.</p>
<p>“Yes, if only there was Some way to learn more information about this!”</p>
<p>...</p>
<p>A head spun around on the globe stand.</p>
<p>“Wow look, a-“</p>
<p>“I’m a computer! I’m a computery guy!” A strange looking object appeared on the opposite side of the room on top of a desk. “Everything made out of buttons and wires! I’d like to show ya-“ he jabbed his mouse pointer into Yellow’s face “-inside my digital life! Inside my mind there is a digital mind.”</p>
<p>The trio’s eyes raked over the object. They’d seen some strange things so far but this guy was just out of place. As a few seconds ticked by, the object seemed to grow nervous before Red remembered he was supposed to say something.</p>
<p>“Oh. Maybe you could help us answer this question. What is the biggest thing in the-“</p>
<p>“CLEVER! I’m very clevery guy!”</p>
<p>“Wow!”</p>
<p>“Count to a fifty in the blink of my eye!” He winked at the trio and hopped off the desk. A piece of paper fell out of his mouth. “I’ll print a picture, and then I’ll tell you the time!” He gestured to a screen on his shirt.</p>
<p>“Time?!” Insert flashback here.</p>
<p>“Help you to find something you’re wanting to find! No it’s easy to be a clever smart boy like me, if you can do it all digitallyyyyyyyyyY!” The object’s voice reached an octave higher than necessary and the trio were tempted to cover their ears.</p>
<p>“Wow! I’d like to be as smart as a computer!”</p>
<p>“Actually,” Red raised an eyebrow, “we already have a computer-“</p>
<p>“GREAT! Great news!” The computer pulled a long sheet of paper out of nowhere. “Now, before we begin our journey, I just need to get some information from you! What’s your name? Where do you live? What do you like to e-eat?” At the stutter, his eyes seemed to flash and dart about for a moment.</p>
<p>“I live in my house!”</p>
<p>“Spaghetti!!”</p>
<p>“Well my name is-“</p>
<p>“GREAT NEWS!”</p>
<p>Red sighed as the object continued to rattle off inane questions, but then something struck him. This was completely stupid and ridiculous. Well, that was obvious from the get go, but it had never occurred to him to fight against it. Sure, Roy would probably murder him if he tried to fight back but this object looked like he couldn’t even be older than 14. He could punch him in his stupid, evil face and just leave!</p>
<p>“Wait a minute...”</p>
<p>This was dumb.</p>
<p>“Stop talking.”</p>
<p>This was awful.</p>
<p>“Be quiet.”</p>
<p>Why hadn’t he tried this before?</p>
<p>“SHUT UP!” Red raised his fist to knock the object square in the skull but before he could even swing, the boy caught it and turned his head a perfect 90 degree angle to glare at him.</p>
<p>“DON’T TOUCH MEEEEEEEE-“</p>
<p>...</p>
<p>“Welcome! To my digital home! Everything made out of numbers and code!”</p>
<p>Well that didn’t work. AND now they were in some sort of virtual reality. A virtual world inside a virtual world? Huh. Red contemplated this as he mindlessly repeated his lines more times than he needed to.</p>
<p>“I don’t get it. How can it be? If I’m sitting at home, but I’m inside the screen.”</p>
<p>The trio felt a strange out of body experience in the real world. Sure they were there, but they felt much more conscious in the object’s digital world. World. They were thinking the word world too many times. Duck’s head started to spin.</p>
<p>“But if he’s not quite real, then I’m not real too! And your not real you is inside your real you!” That tongue twister of a line didn’t really help.</p>
<p>Red rolled his eyes almost subconsciously, putting as little effort into his lines as possible. “Oh WOW how amazing. And interesting too. But in this digital world, what can we do?”</p>
<p>The object stared at nothing, almost completely still.</p>
<p>“What can we-“</p>
<p>“Hey, good question! Well it’s up to you! In the digital world, there’s only three things to do!”</p>
<p>The trio stepped in front of three large, black doors inside a checkered room. Yellow opened his first to a cute little dancing graphic.</p>
<p>“Wow, look a pie chart!”</p>
<p>Duck opened his to see... himself. Wearing kinda cool looking clothes actually! Damn. “Digital style!” he posed.</p>
<p>Red opened the door to see the object awkwardly dancing in the large room. “Do a digital dancing. Hey this is fun!”</p>
<p>Three doors.</p>
<p>“Wow look a bar graph!”</p>
<p>“Digital style!”</p>
<p>“Do a digital dancing. Hey this is fun.”</p>
<p>Red shook his head a little. His body grew a little more disconnected. The boy took a glance at his brothers, but they seemed enthralled with their doors.</p>
<p>“Wow look a line graph!”</p>
<p>“Digital style!”</p>
<p>“Do a digital dancing, hey this is fun!”</p>
<p>Reality set in. He was back in the room. Sort of. He still felt a tugging tether to the now unconscious object.</p>
<p>“Wow look an oblong!”</p>
<p>“Digital style!”</p>
<p>“Do a digital dancing hey this is fun!”</p>
<p>Red stood up out of his chair. The darkened room was only illuminated by the object’s glowing screen and-</p>
<p>And some light spilling out from behind a door in the corner. Something he hadn’t noticed before.</p>
<p>“Wow look nothing!”</p>
<p>“Digital style!”</p>
<p>“Do a digital dancing, hey this is fun!”</p>
<p>He inched towards the door, the tether growing looser. He felt a pair of eyes on his back, but there wasn’t anyone there.</p>
<p>“Nothing.”</p>
<p>“Digital style!”</p>
<p>“Do a digital dancing, hey this is fun!”</p>
<p>His hand rested on the doorknob.</p>
<p>A garbled mess of tangled limbs and broken images and spastic motion and dissonant sounds oozed throughout the digital world. The other two had no thoughts. They were moving and nothing else and there was a lot of them but they weren’t real.</p>
<p>Shoving the door open, Red stumbled into a bright, white room with checkered tile and a table in the middle. A myriad of items rested on and around the table and a tape recorder played a text-to-speech-like voice.</p>
<p>Red took in the strange scenery as the recorder droned on in the background. A pulsating beat from the other room muffled the approaching footsteps.</p>
<p>The voice concluded, “You are not invited to the party.”</p>
<p>“Wait, what?”</p>
<p>For a fraction of a millisecond, the boy felt an infinitely sharp pain against the back of his neck. Then nothingness.</p>
<p>.....</p>
<p>The blood spilled out of the victim’s neck, splattering into a large puddle of red. As it seeped into the cracks of the tile and stained the body’s clothes, the hair of the victim swirled around in the thick liquid.</p>
<p>Roy stepped out of the dark corner he’d been watching the episode from. He was surprised. While that wasn’t planned, it certainly worked in his favor. Much more than Shrignold’s deviation did anyway. He reached across the room and gently closed the door. Best not to scare the other two yet. Speaking of which.</p>
<p>His son and Duck groaned as they woke up, their eyes blurry and empty. Duck grabbed his son’s hand and led him out of the chair. The green haired boy glanced at Roy, whispered in Yellow’s ear, and shooed him out the door. Walking over to Roy, he took a deep breath and asked, “Uh, where’s Red?”</p>
<p>“He’s busy right now. You’ll see him later.”</p>
<p>“Busy with what?”</p>
<p>“I had a talk with him. We have some things to work on. Now go on. Leave.”</p>
<p>Duck looked as if he was about to argue but held back at the last minute. He shot a confused look at Roy one last time before walking out the door downtrodden.</p>
<p>“Well it’s just... I feel like we were still kinda testy with each other earlier. I just wanted to give him a hug and let him know I’m not mad anymore.”</p>
<p>“I’m sure you can tell him later,” Roy said with an edge that was insisting that Duck leave already.</p>
<p>The boy nodded and shut the door behind him.</p>
<p>Roy walked to the other room and took a gander at the interesting sight. His silly little Colin, unconscious on the floor next to that pest’s dead body. It was about time he got rid of him. Honestly, he was surprised he hadn’t done it sooner. And what a brilliant thought it was! He should do it again!</p>
<p>Roy picked up the teen’s head and body and dragged them out another door he created. It was time for some adjustments to the plan.</p>
<p>...................</p>
<p>Paige stared at the house from their hiding spot behind the tree. Another poor object had gone in, but they knew he wouldn’t come out. Such a shame, he seemed like such a sweet boy.</p>
<p>The ran pattered gently down on their papery hair, which was thankfully thick enough to not get too soggy from the downpour. They wished they could talk to those kids again, maybe apologize. But it wasn’t meant to be. As they mulled over their miserable existence, something caught their eye.</p>
<p>At the backside of the house, Roy was carrying something tall and... lanky. He dragged it through the mud and dropped another rounder looking object on the ground. The man heaved the lanky thing into a dumpster and then tossed the round thing in as well before finally slamming the lid shut. Their interest was thoroughly piqued and they waited for Roy to return to the house before investigating.</p>
<p>Paige rolled down the hill out of the woods and slinked up to the large metal behemoth. They awkwardly pried the lid open with their skinny arms and glanced inside.</p>
<p>The object was greeted with a dead, decapitated body. Paige resisted the urge to scream but it proved futile as they startled backwards, the lid slamming shut again with a loud CLANG. They gasped and scrambled to throw open the dumpster. The urge to vomit never washed over them, they realized with disappointment. How jaded had they become? They couldn’t just leave the kid here though! It wasn’t right! Ah- but what did they care about what was right, they thought bitterly. All they ever did was hide and watch from the distance as atrocities happened. What made this any different.</p>
<p>Well, they argued with themself, maybe this was the chance to change that. Maybe they could but their stupid stringy body to use for once.</p>
<p>With the lid no longer needing to be held open, they hopped in the dumpster and threw the head out as gently as possible before lifting the body in their arms and crawling out. Thankfully, the kid wasn’t too much taller than them, so they could easily wrap the arm around their shoulder and drag them along while they carried the head in their other arm.</p>
<p>It was finally time for Paige to fix their mess.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0058"><h2>58. Teach You A Lesson Chapter 11: Dhmis 5 and On Again...</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>DARKNESS IS THE HEART'S </p>
<p>T R U E  E S S E N C E</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Duck stood frozen outside the kitchen door. Yellow patiently waited inside for him. But he couldn’t go in. He couldn’t.</p>
<p>Red had been missing for the whole month in between “episodes,” and he knew something horrible had happened. His big brother wouldn’t just abandon them; he KNEW he couldn’t do that to them. Roy had said nothing on the matter and just ignored him every time he asked about it. Yellow clearly gave up on asking all together, but he didn’t get it. Of course he didn’t. He couldn’t. He was too young, too sweet, too innocent to understand why this was so suspicious. It’s not like he’d ever had to see anyone die before.</p>
<p>Duck would’ve cursed at himself for being so jaded at 10 if he actually knew any swear words. He wished he’d paid more attention to Red. He would have, if he knew he wouldn't see him again...</p>
<p>Duck felt a familiar presence behind him and turned to see Roy waiting in the shadows. The tall, freakish man emptily gestured to the brightly lit kitchen. The little boy hesitated for a moment before letting something spill out of his mouth.</p>
<p>“I don’t wanna go in there! I wanna see Red again!!” he shakily whined and stamped his foot.</p>
<p>Roy’s eyebrow twitched and he replied, “Don’t worry. You will soon.”</p>
<p>With that, he shoved Duck into the kitchen.</p>
<p>...............</p>
<p>“Hmm. Something’s different!”</p>
<p>The drawing changed.</p>
<p>“Yes, something’s... missing.”</p>
<p>They didn’t look happy in that picture. Did they ever look happy? He thought they did but maybe he was just remembering wrong. The line mocked his stress and worry.</p>
<p>“Hmm.”</p>
<p>“Is it... this guy?”</p>
<p>A childlike object absentmindedly drummed on a pair of cans with some spoons. He noticed the duo staring at him awkwardly and fumbled with his makeshift drumsticks.</p>
<p>“Are you hungry?” screamed another child object out of nowhere. The two of them startled at her sudden bursting from the cabinet. “You look to be a bit hungry!”</p>
<p>“No!” Yellow went off script. He was just so sick and tired of this sorta thing.</p>
<p>“Doo do doo doo, lots of people get hungry-“ she awkwardly filled in.</p>
<p>“That’s your body! Hungry comes from your body.” A disgustingly tall creature appeared seemingly from the walls and wrapped his pure black, stick-like arm around Duck. God, this was so wrong. How did they ever get into this situation. What is life like for normal kids?</p>
<p>“Get off me.”</p>
<p>“But your body! It musta havta be healthy!” He jabbed a fork into Duck’s chest. It wasn’t sharp by any means but it didn’t make it less unsettling. For a second, the boy considered how it wouldn’t technically be cannibalism because they weren’t the same species. Then he mentally chastised himself for thinking of such gross things. Then he ran back through his thought process for the last two minutes, too distracted to notice anything until the weird meat creature wrapped his arm around him again. He half expected him to put him in a chokehold but instead he started awkwardly dancing.</p>
<p>“What?”</p>
<p>Yellow was quickly engrossed in the event. Duck supposed his brother didn’t quite yet have the mental fortitude to stay angry at such a falsely joy scenario. Then he made fun of himself for using such unnecessarily long words even though it was his own thoughts that no one else could hear. Then he was distracted by a ringtone.</p>
<p>Everyone turned to the phone on the wall that he was certain wasn’t there before. The teachers wore an expression he’d never seen any of them use. He didn’t like how genuine it looked.</p>
<p>Duck hopped out of his seat and reached for the phone, his heart pounding out of his chest for no reason.</p>
<p>“Hello?”</p>
<p>His wrists really hurt. The boy’s eyes blinked open to a brilliant light surrounded by a dark, clinical room. He’d only been to a hospital once before, but this was what he remembered it feeling like. Before his breathing even had the chance to freak out, he found himself back in the kitchen.</p>
<p>“See the body is like a special house, with hair, blood, and organs in the different rooms! Oh look there’s mister bladder in the basement.” The creature laughed as if he was trying to hide something disgusting underneath it. “Now food goes in through the chimney—mouth—and goes from room to room, greeting the different organs!”</p>
<p>“Hello!”</p>
<p>“Now the good, healthy food is very nice and polite to the organs! And so is invited to stay. For the party! Yay! But the bad, not healthy foods are VERY RUDE. And must leave through the cat flap.”</p>
<p>“Rude!”</p>
<p>A million thoughts rushed through Duck’s head in a second about how incredibly stupid that all was. Of course, he thought, all of these lessons have been rather stupid but there’s just been so much empty space for him to think about it and- ah, he was getting distracted again. “That doesn’t make sense-“</p>
<p>“Doo do doo doo do!” The little girl shoved a fork in his face and awkwardly gestured to the creature before he nervously joined in.</p>
<p>And then the damn phone rang again.</p>
<p>“Hello?”</p>
<p>“What’s that, a tasty snack!” Wh- where the heck did the SANDWICH come from?! WHY IS MY LIFE SO DIFFICULT, he mentally screamed. “You don’t wanna go and eat a snack like that!”</p>
<p>“Greedy, to eat all that! You’ll end up with your gums all gray!” That reflection did NOT even look like him, what kinda scam were these freaks trying to pull? WHY WAS HE SUDDENLY SO CRITICAL OF THE LESSON, THEY’D ALWAYS BEEN THIS STUPID he realized.</p>
<p>But why was he realizing it now? Duck hated this, he probably wouldn’t feel like this if Red was here. He wanted RED, nothing made sense without him. The trio needed to be complete! Without him, he felt so alone and focused on everything else because he knew Yellow wouldn’t focus on it so he had to do it for him but now everything looked so two dimensional and why hadn’t he-</p>
<p>“Yes but- something’s... wrong!”</p>
<p>“Exactly! How do we know which foods are the healthy ones to eat?”</p>
<p>“Well that’s easy!”</p>
<p>Duck whined as his brain felt on the verge of exploding. I’m not built to deal with this, man! He quoted mentally even though there was no one to hear it.</p>
<p>“The food groups can easily be sorted into the simple health shape!” NO SHUT UP YOU’RE WRONG WHY IS THIS SO WRONG. “Choosing plain looking foods like bread, cream, white sauce, and Aspic, keep the body ticking over just nicely.” The creature poured a gross slime into a diorama of a human. “Isn’t that right?”</p>
<p>He couldn’t stay here anymore, he needed Red, he couldn’t stay here without him, he needed to go and hopefully Yellow would follow him but he just couldn’t take it in right without the extra person. He feebly muttered out an “I need to go” because he was honestly too focused on thoughts to talk properly.</p>
<p>“But wait WHAT’S THIS!?” she screamed in his face.</p>
<p>“Fancy, show-offy foods like cooked meats, fruit salads, soil foods, and YOLK.” “UGH”</p>
<p>“These foods will clog up the body with unnecessary detail.” The creature shoved the diorama to the ground. “Oh look, it’s all broken and on the floor.”</p>
<p>Duck felt someone slam their hand on his shoulder and he flinched back so wildly he would’ve cringed at himself if he was watching. The little boy spun to see ANOTHER object flailing it’s stupid arms in his face and trying to reach him and saying nonsense words and he couldn’t stop the protests from leaving his mouth even though he KNEW they were off script.</p>
<p>BUT HE DIDN’T CARE ANYMORE!</p>
<p>“I CAN’T DO THIS ANYMORE!!”</p>
<p>As the world flicked to black, the last thing he saw was Yellow reaching towards him with a terrified expression.</p>
<p>............</p>
<p>His wrists hurt.</p>
<p>There was some sort of muffled beat going on in the background but it was overcome by the strange beeping sounds. It was like the barcode scanner at a grocery store. His vision was fuzzy and it wouldn’t readjust like normal.</p>
<p>The top of his right arm twinged, like someone had injected a shot in him.</p>
<p>As Duck’s eyes finally adjusted to the light, he spotted the blurry outline of another tall object and it’s deep, slow laughter.</p>
<p>It was colder than normal. Where were his socks, and his jacket... Why couldn’t he really feel anything...</p>
<p>Why was there something red streaming down in front of his eye...</p>
<p>He tried to pull himself into existence and little by little, the numbness filling his body drained out of the tips of his fingers. Then his head, and his legs. And finally, his torso.</p>
<p>Duck snapped his head forward before it was promptly slammed back against what felt like a hard metal table. His forehead was throbbing and he realized there was a strange cut on it, with blood streaming down his face. He glanced at his arm and noticed a puncture on it, so he was probably right about the shot assumption. Then he looked at his torso and it was like all the pain being held back by whatever was injected into him burst through a dam.</p>
<p>He dry heaved at the sight of his digestive organs being strung out of him by the gloved hands of some unknown object. Either the shock or the darkness concealed their face but Duck didn’t care. He couldn’t even bring himself to scream, opting to frantically squirm as the wildly intense pain shot through his whole being a thousand times a second. He slammed his fists against the table weakly yet frantically, jerking against the restraints and he bit down his lip so hard trying to hold back the scream and bile that he bit through his own skin, tearing out a chunk of flesh. His mouth started to bleed and it poured down his neck, onto his shirt which he barely recognized as a medical dress. He let out a choked cry and realized his throat was burning. He gagged as he accidentally swallowed his own blood, causing some of it to flow into his lungs. He hacked up the blood again and the violent coughing caused his already exposed and pressured ribs to crack right in front of his eyes. Salty tears were waterfalling out of his eyes but he didn’t even notice through all the blood already on his cheeks. The object tugged on his intestines and wrapped them up inside a bowl and shoved his liver in its mouth and he didn’t understand how he was still alive but he knew it wouldn’t last long. He didn’t want to die like this. It wasn’t fair! He couldn’t do this, he had to be there for Yellow, he couldn’t-</p>
<p>This wasn’t how he wanted to go out. He had imagined he’d live a decently long life and get to make friends and see new places and leave this nightmare behind. He thought he’d just die of natural causes. Duck senses were growing duller, and he thought about what he’d be doing if he was adopted by someone else. It didn’t hurt anymore but he still saw the sickly green light of the room and the motions of the object. His eyes were really heavy.</p>
<p>Duck hoped Yellow would be okay. That he’d be able to get out before something bad happened to him too.</p>
<p>But his last hope was that Red hadn’t died as painfully as he did.</p>
<p>................</p>
<p>Yellow’s entire body was stuffed. It wasn’t an exaggeration, or a turn of phrase; it was genuinely stuffed. It was as if someone had shoved the mystery meat not just into his stomach, but in between his bones. His brain was pounding against his skull and only grew worse with the ear grating sound of the telephone.</p>
<p>He was tempted to pick it up.</p>
<p>But he couldn’t really move, and it soon silenced. His eyes grew wet as he stared at his dirty plate. On some level, he knew what happened. Duck went missing, and that green color was exactly like his hair. But, it wasn’t possible. It was just an illusion. Like the rest of it had been. He’d come back with Red soon. They were off doing something else, and R- his dad didn’t need them to attend the lessons anymore.</p>
<p>He tried to drag his body off the chair and toppled off it onto the carpeted ground. He was still crying and his entire body felt like collapsing in on itself. He felt like a baby. A pathetic, lonely, stupid baby that couldn’t do anything for itself, and couldn’t do anything to help it’s brothers.</p>
<p>They were so smart and brave and he... wasn’t. That’s probably why he had to stay here. That’s why his dad made this happen. That’s why his dad hadn’t killed him but h̷͔̖̻͎̲̦͖̣̋ę̸̭̘̦͌͂ ̵̢̞̲̟͉͖̭̤̪͈̬̱̯̋͋̽̈́̓́͋̃s̸̝̳̜̤̣̮ͅh̵̥̱̗͔̻̬̞̫͔̠̄̈̂̅͗̈́͊͘͜͝o̴̡͉̺͎̩̗̼̦͔̙̔̋͆͊͋̍͠͝ư̴̡̠͍̗̯̯̩̫̥̹̱͔̦̰̌̆̾͛͝l̶̢̨̻͇̠̫̗̣̭̺͍͙̘̫̗͐ḋ̶͍̄̌̇̃̄̾͊ ̸̲̱̱̖͕̱͙̼̹͈͖̦̪͍͆̅͐͂͆̊͐̆̂̎̆̂͜h̵̢͍̮̦̙͔̲̭͉̗́̍͂̿̈̂̅͜͜ͅa̶̡̡̡̯̤̳̘͙̜̺͇̯̩̲̓͆̌̍̃͑̈́̾͊̓͝ͅv̴̧̢̫̯̫͉̳͇̯̣̯̲̔͠ẽ̴̢͇͍͇͙͉̠̞͙̩̃̈́͋͛̄͌͜͝͝ͅ.</p>
<p>“It’s time for bed.”</p>
<p>Yellow felt his body being dragged out of the room. It was so deceptively gentle. Like the rain he soon heard pounding against the roof.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0059"><h2>59. Teach You A Lesson Chapter 12: I Have to Save Him</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>well tragedy</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Paige paced around their makeshift house, which was really more of a one-room wooden cabin than anything substantial. They knew they needed to do SOMETHING about this, but unsure how to go about it.</p>
<p>Well, technically that wasn’t true, they just REALLY didn’t want to go through with it. The thought made them squeamish. Still, they’d already made a choice to steal a corpse, no reason to stop their trail of good deeds now. Paige focused their mind on the true intangibility of the world and visualized a pair of scissors made out of binary code. The air warbled for a moment before the instrument appeared in their hands. They sucked in a breath, and jabbed it into their left arm.</p>
<p>Paige winced but pushed through, digging under the hardened ink skin, through the liquid ink blood, and exposed a wire-like string in the center of their arm. This was only to be used for emergencies, and it would only work for certain wounds, but hopefully this was one of them. They snipped a length of the string out of their arm, sewed the skin back together with a needle they spawned, and looked back at the corpse lying on the table.</p>
<p>They were no surgeon, but how hard could it be to sew someone’s head back on, right? It was like making a doll. </p>
<p>It wasn’t that hard, even if they’d never sewn before, they could still finagle their way to it looking decent after the first two loops. The difficult part was looking at the actual stitches and touching a dead body. He was so cold and... unsettling. Yeah, that was a word for it. Their left arm’s pain began to numb as they worked their way around the neck. The rain pounded outside the house and Paige had a feeling that it was Roy’s fault. Not long after they had dragged the boy’s body into the woods, the storm spiked in intensity. Perhaps he knew someone had moved the corpse. All the better reason to stay home.</p>
<p>Paige finished off the final stitch and snipped the end of the string, tying it off. With any luck, this would work. If it didn’t...</p>
<p>....................</p>
<p>Red’s brain felt... something. It felt... awake. It felt awake? He was awake!</p>
<p>Red shot up, eyes wide and heart pounding. He spun his head around to look at where he was. This wasn’t that weird room off to the side! It didn’t even look like anywhere else in the house! He found himself on a table inside a medium sized wooden room, decorated only by a bed and a mirror and an object and-</p>
<p>Red stared at the object standing across the room from him. It was the same damn one that had terrorized them the first time. He found himself frozen on the spot, staring into their yellow tinted eyes.</p>
<p>And then they opened their mouth.</p>
<p>“Uh. Hi. It’s... me. I’m sure you already know my name cuz Roy said he told you guys. Course he never told me your guys’ name but we can get to that. Um, are you... okay? I mean obviously you wouldn’t be because you just got decapitated but I meant-“</p>
<p>“WHAT?!”</p>
<p>“Oh, what to what part?”</p>
<p>“I-“ Red’s eyes widened and he felt his brain pounding against his skull. “Y- you save- I d- R- What happened to me?!” he demanded.</p>
<p>“Well, I’m not quite sure. I’m fairly certain that someone cut your head off. I fixed that but honestly I was lucky that it worked at all.”</p>
<p>“Oh my god.” He shoved himself off the table.</p>
<p>“I know right? This place just gets weirder and more dangerous by the day.”</p>
<p>“Shut up, shut the FUCK up!” He whirled around to shout at them. “I remember your name alright! You’re Paige- you- YOU STARTED ALL THIS! You fucking FREAK!” He shoved the object against the table, expecting them to lash out at him. Instead, they simply looked at him with pity. But why?</p>
<p>Red tensed himself for an attack that never came. Paige simply straightened themself back up and sighed, adjusting their papery hair. “You should probably, I dunno, sit down or something. I can’t imagine being dead and coming back is terribly relaxing.”</p>
<p>The teen’s retort caught in his throat as the brunt of the statement hit him. Being dead. He... he actually died. As he backed against the wall, he felt something cold press against his hand and he spun around to face the mirror. Red was confronted with himself, but he didn’t quite look right. His skin was much ashier than it was before, his eyes looked duller, and his neck...</p>
<p>He held back bile as he traced his finger over the stitches in his neck. The metallic, wirey string stabbed through his skin and held the two pieces of his neck together. As he touched it, a sickly warmth radiated off of the suturing. He frantically scraped his fingernails against his skin to see if this was real, if he was actually alive. And it hurt like it should but the scratch marks left on his face didn’t fade like normal; instead, seemingly dissipating the moment after they appeared.</p>
<p>Red tucked his hands inside his sleeves and reflexively pressed them against his chest, curling in on himself. He thought he could feel a heart beating, but it was so terribly sluggish, it made him shake with anxiety and terror. The boy shot a desperate, horrified glance at Paige, who simply watched in anticipation with crossed arms.</p>
<p>“Wh- why...” he choked out, “did you do this?”</p>
<p>“...I thought it was the right thing to do. Maybe it’d make up for everything I didn’t do.” They folded their hands behind their back and let their glance fall to the floor.</p>
<p>“The right thing..? Why would someone like YOU care about doing the right thing?” he growled, arms still pressed against his chest and body still shivering.</p>
<p>“What‘s that supposed to mean? Is it because I was a teacher?” Their voice rose in pitch with their anger. “Well guess what? I didn’t agree to whatever the hell that was!”</p>
<p>“Even if you didn’t, you’re still a monster! How can you expect me to believe you about ‘doing the right thing’ if YOU’RE CORRUPTED!”</p>
<p>Paige’s eyebrow quirked up and they laughed nervously. “Uh- haha, no I’m not?”</p>
<p>“Wh- don’t try and lie to me!” He stomped towards them. “You’ve even got a human na- ...name...”</p>
<p>They glared at the boy. “No, I don’t.”</p>
<p>“Uh... please tell me your name is Paige... with an I.”</p>
<p>“I’m afraid it’s not,” responded Page with a hint of sass in their voice.</p>
<p>Red awkwardly gestured towards them as he tried to sputter out some sort of reply. Some weird amalgamation of an apology, and confusion, and snark. He didn’t have it in him to muster up anything other than an “Oh” in the end.</p>
<p>“I never have been, or will be corrupt, to the best of my ability,” stated Page with finality. Red nodded his head, his eyes still jotting around the room. As he opened his mouth to speak, a flash of lightning shot through the sky, startling the two of them. Red walked to the doorless exit of the house and took in the scenery.</p>
<p>“I’ve been hiding for a few weeks, almost a month I’d say,” began Page again. “But I only got this thing finished a week ago.”</p>
<p>“...you’ve been here for a few weeks? But, your uh ‘episode’ was months ago.”</p>
<p>“Hm? I think I can tell the difference between weeks and months.”</p>
<p>“No no no, it’s definitely been at least...” Red counted on his fingers, “4 months since you barged into our house.”</p>
<p>Page sighed. “Look, I don’t know. Maybe time passes weird in here.”</p>
<p>Something suddenly struck Red. “If that’s true...” He shot a terrified glance at the set of houses off in the distance. “What am I doing waiting around here!? I have to go help them!” He burst out the door only to be held back by Page grabbing onto his hoodie.</p>
<p>“What are you doing? Are you trying to get yourself killed AGAIN?!”</p>
<p>“No, I’m TRYING to stop my brother’s from getting killed too! If Roy’s willing to let me get DECAPITATED I can’t imagine him treating the other two any better. And I CAN’T let that happen!” Red tore himself out of the object’s grip and glared at them.</p>
<p>“If you go down there now, you’ll just die again and I dunno if I’ll be able to fix it. You’re VERY lucky your wound was something I could stitch!” They pointed accusingly at the boy. “How can you help them if you’re dead?”</p>
<p>“How can I help them if THEY’RE dead?!” he cried. “You wouldn’t understand, would you? You don’t actually care, otherwise you would’ve done something about this a long time ago.” He turned away from them and muttered, “You’re just as bad as the rest of them.”</p>
<p>Page swallowed drily and looked away. “Fine. Maybe you’re right.” They retreated to the inside of the house. “Go screw things up again. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.”</p>
<p>Red ignored the slowly shrinking voice of the object as he raced back towards the houses.</p>
<p>...................</p>
<p>The rain still poured down from the virtual sky, drenching his hair. As he approached the set of houses, he couldn’t help but notice that it looked different than it used to be. There were far more houses, and there was more than one road. The closer he got, the larger the set seemed to grow until it warped into a full neighborhood of near identical houses. His mind raced with what this could mean, none of it good. Then, Red noticed a bright... red telephone booth.</p>
<p>Honestly, he didn’t care if it was a trap. Roy already got what he wanted with Red coming to the neighborhood, if it’s own existence was any indication. So the teenager stepped into the phone booth, and nervously inputted the number.</p>
<p>Ring.... ring.... ring....</p>
<p>“Hello?”</p>
<p>Click.</p>
<p>That was Duck’s voice! He was still alive! Sure, he’d been cut off, but Red still had time to save his brothers! He couldn’t risk heading straight to the house (and he probably couldn’t find it anymore) but he could still warn them over the phone.</p>
<p>Ring.... ring.... ring....</p>
<p>“Hello?”</p>
<p>Click.</p>
<p>Oh for the love of god. This was probably Roy’s doing, and just that thought sent a pang through his heart. But he couldn’t stop trying.</p>
<p>Ring.... ring.... ring.... ring.... ring....</p>
<p>Click.</p>
<p>Nothing. No, no please... He knew that time was distorted a bit, but it had only been a few seconds! He couldn’t have- Red inputted the number again.</p>
<p>“I’m afraid you’ve used up your calls,” said a voice that the boy didn’t recognize. He startled backwards, falling out of the booth and landing on his back. When he sat back up, the phone booth was gone.</p>
<p>Red’s heart pounded as fast as it could feasibly go as he whipped his head around in search of some sort of clue or hint to what he could do. But the neighborhood was barren. There was nothing left to do but search for the house, and he was wasting time just lying in the grass. He jolted to his feet and raced down the slippery sidewalk.</p>
<p>As he rounded the corners and twisting pathways, he found the houses and landscape repeating endlessly, and he was certain that he was lost. But that didn’t matter, there was nothing else he could do! His side screamed in agony as he ran and ran and ran through the pouring rain until he finally slipped up. Red crashed to the ground and rolled into the empty, flooded road. He desperately tried to catch his breath as he lay drenched on the asphalt. Rolling himself over to look at the sidewalk again, he noticed something strange about the water flowing down the side of the road. But that couldn’t be....</p>
<p>Red dragged himself over to the river of blood streaming past the sidewalk. He held back vomit for the second time today and urged his exhausted body towards the source, a strangely shaped blob of flesh lying in the road.</p>
<p>“No... no, please-“</p>
<p>Red stumbled towards it, and it soon became clear to him that the ‘thing’ lying in the road, was his little brother.</p>
<p>The teen’s breath caught in his throat as he shakily lowered himself to his knees. Duck’s torso had been scooped of all its organs, leaving only an exposed and fractured rib cage and a few scrapes of crimson tissue. Blood streamed out of his shut eyes and mouth, pouring down his neck and on to the ground to mix with the rest of the blood and the rainwater. His skin was a pale gray that Red had never seen before and his face was contorted into permanent agony.</p>
<p>“No- please- I-“ Red’s chest ached as if someone had swung a bat against his ribs and he felt as if he wasn’t moving his own body when he lifted Duck into his arms. He choked back a sob, but that didn’t stop the tears from pouring out of his eyes. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry- I’m so-“ he held back another sob. If he had been faster, or- or smarter about his choices, or if he hadn’t upset Roy- or- “Please, I-“ His mind raced with desperate bargains that didn’t mean anything to anyone. He’d do anything to fix this, anything to- “I didn’t- I’m sorry-“ He was sorry that he never talked to Duck about how he’d acted. He didn’t know whether or not he died hating him, or knowing he really did care about him because he was his little brother and he shouldn’t have-</p>
<p>He couldn’t hold back the sob this time. He practically suffocated as it wracked his whole body. The boy pulled his brother’s corpse closer, because if he let go, then he’d be gone forever. If he took his eyes off of him, he’d never see him again. And he didn’t care if this was a trap or a lure or whatever the hell Roy had in store. He didn’t care about anything except keeping Duck close to him.</p>
<p>Speak of the devil, and he shall appear. Very familiar footsteps tore through the sound of the pattering rain. Red didn’t turn to look at him. He didn’t know what would happen if he did. The sound of metal dragging against the concrete sidewalk drew closer. Was he here to finish him off? He couldn’t fight Roy. He was too weak, and exhausted, and alone... He couldn’t protect Duck, and now Roy was here to make sure he couldn’t protect Yellow. He hated that he was crying in front of that monster.</p>
<p>The man circled around him to look Red in the eyes, but the boy didn’t grace him with a look. Roy sighed, and silently raised a baseball bat in the air, before swinging it against the teenager’s head.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0060"><h2>60. Teach You A Lesson Chapter 13: Dhmis 6 and On</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>man this is like the length of a novel but its a dhmis fanfic. i know its not very impressive by ao3 standards but i'm just surprised i actually did it.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Yellow’s head felt like it was splitting open as he sat quietly in the bedroom. The last thing he remembered was walking into a weird, dark room with Roy and... falling asleep. He woke up in a locked bedroom that looked perfect for him and his brothers...</p>
<p>His brothers...</p>
<p>Yellow had tried not to think about it, but it was rather impossible. They were gone. Forever and ever. He’d never see them again and it was his fault for making his dad angry. Now he could do nothing but wait and wait and wait. Trying to read the books in the room proved fruitless. They were all just filled with songs very similar to what the teachers had been performing, just with different themes. There were no drawing supplies, or instruments, or computers, just the books, the clothes, and the beds.</p>
<p>Yellow still felt nauseous, even though it had been two weeks since he ate Duck. His stomach still churned at the thought of food, and he’d been growing thinner everyday. So he didn’t really have the energy to find a way out. Resigning himself to his prison, he changed into a pair of pristine pajamas and crawled into bed. When he pulled back the blanket, he was greeted by a wide, untouched scrapbook.</p>
<p>Roy was just doing this to taunt him, wasn’t he?</p>
<p>.................</p>
<p>Roy easily dragged the two bodies of his ex-kids into the house. He had to admit, at this point he was kinda riding by the seat of his pants and any semblance of his originally perfect structure was starting to fall apart, but that was perfectly fine. He still hadn’t really messed up! Well, except for that time with Page. And that time with Colin. And Pete. And Shrignold. And R- OKAY he hadn’t messed up fatally. And he wasn’t about to.</p>
<p>Roy had decided to drag Red and Duck into the machine at the last minute, just because he could. Who knows, maybe they’d still be salvageable as digitally reanimated corpses. He did have all the time in the world to figure it out.</p>
<p>Dropping Red’s unconscious body off at the entrance to the machine room, he hauled Duck’s corpse over to his perfect little project. The boy was surprisingly light, but maybe not TOO surprisingly. He HAD been scooped of a lot of his vital organs after all. It was easier to load in Duck first anyways. Corpses always load faster. While he was waiting, he might as well start Yellow’s first ever perfect lesson. Roy typed out some last minute bits of code before pulling up the first file in a list of hundreds. Larry the Lamp was a lucky bastard. He got to be the guinea pig.</p>
<p>Roy’s eager anticipation to watch his plan finally unfold was cut short with the sound of shattering glass echoing through the house. Tearing his eyes away from the screen right before Larry could show up, he burst out the door in panic. He should be the only one in the house right now! Unless that stupid coward of an object had finally decided to show their face.</p>
<p>No matter, he’d been preparing for that exact situation for a long time. Roy materialized a baseball bat full of nails and went on a hunt. He’d make sure that brat suffered for their inconveniences.</p>
<p>..........</p>
<p>Yellow drily sobbed as he flipped through the scrapbook. It was packed brim with photos that he recognized from days he remembered, photos from places he was sure he’d never been to, and photos from what could only be in the future. This wasn’t just to taunt him with how things were before, it was making fun of things he would never have. And he was too sad to hate it.</p>
<p>The little boy turned his head to look at the others’ beds. “Good night guys...” He flipped the book shut and took in a shuddering breath. “I miss you.”</p>
<p>Yellow flicked the lamp off and nestled under the thick covers, letting the cold darkness envelope his eyes.</p>
<p>...</p>
<p>“Oh! Someone’s sleepy!!”</p>
<p>He jolted upright and turned to see the lamp replaced with a drunk looking object. His heart thudded out of his chest.</p>
<p>“Ehehehuhueh! But that’s silly!”</p>
<p>“No!” He slammed his fist on the light switch again. He wasn’t going to take this anymore. He should’ve been more like Red and Duck from the beginning.</p>
<p>...</p>
<p>“How can you be sleepy if you don’t know how to have dreams?” the object’s high pitched voice reverberated through the room.</p>
<p>“N- no, I don’t want to know!” Yellow stood up on his bed to face the object. “I don’t want to know- how to have dreams! NO!”</p>
<p>And just like that, the screaming 7 year old was dragged into a flat world of distorted animation yet again. But honestly, that was the part he cared the least about as the object sang in a warbling trill about dreams and GOD it was even more nonsensical and inane than the last one!</p>
<p>“No!” he shrieked as his body was sucked into a pit of thick oil. “No! No more songs!”</p>
<p>He gasped awake back in his bed. Ah- it was just a dream! Wait-</p>
<p>“Oh! Looks like someone’s having a B A D D R E A M!!”</p>
<p>The last words echoed over and over and over again in Yellow’s head. He moved to get out of his bed but found his arms heavier than normal. The boy looked down to see himself slowly sinking into the sludgy, dark liquid from his nightmare. He gripped the sides of his bed and tried to keep his head above the surface, gasping for breath in a panic, but the object hopped off the nightstand and practically hovered over to him. He grabbed Yellow and gently shoved him under the oil, the words still echoing through the whole room. The suffocating liquid burned and stung his throat and coated his whole body like a cocoon of death and Yellow knew this was how he was going to die but-</p>
<p>...............</p>
<p>“Can you file these files please?”</p>
<p>Red shook himself out of the darkness and found himself in an office, just like he was always in. Yes, this made sense. What was he doing earlier?</p>
<p>“Hm?”</p>
<p>“Can you file these files please?”</p>
<p>“Uh... yeah. Sure.”</p>
<p>It didn’t really feel like he was holding the files but that’s what it always felt like. Although, it did feel like something very integral to his experience was missing.</p>
<p>“Hey, wouldn’t it be funny if one of these files came alive?”</p>
<p>The man stared back at him. Man. Was he a man? He must be, just a man that was wearing a very strange mask. One that covered his whole head and had lots of red string covering it. But Red was certain that under that mask, he looked just like him. It just felt so.</p>
<p>“I am a file... and you put documents in me,” he sang to the man. Surely he understood but the look... or lack of a look the man in the suit gave him put a strange pit in his stomach, like he was embarrassing himself. “Doot da doo a file... funny... silly file-“</p>
<p>“No.”</p>
<p>Red dropped the file and tilted his head. He noticed the same string that the man had falling in front of his eyes.</p>
<p>“That sounds really boring.”</p>
<p>There were some stairs. And then there was a restaurant. And he was sitting in the back like he always did. And everyone else was talking like they always did but he couldn’t hear them like he always couldn’t and... wait a minute.</p>
<p>Someone was missing. Two someone’s. Where were his little brothers? He was on the stage singing a song that he knew very well, but he didn’t remember learning it. It was the song Page taught him. And his brothers were there too.</p>
<p>And everyone else didn’t like it very much.</p>
<p>“It’s not very good at all.”</p>
<p>He was certain this was what things were like. And he was certain that he hated it all. And that’s why they hated it.</p>
<p>And Red was certain that Roy was watching him-</p>
<p>..</p>
<p>The teenager gasped as he woke up, jolting into a sitting position. His skull ached from where Roy had bashed him with the bat, but that wasn’t important right now. Fuck, what an unusual dream that was. It had been so vivid and he could actually remember it, unlike almost every other time.</p>
<p>As he waited for his head to clear a bit, he stood up and took in his surroundings. Red was in a near pitch black room, with only a few lights smattered on the ceiling and a strangely familiar checkered floor. The boombox and microphone he thought he’d seen were gone, and a rhythmic tune echoed through the room.</p>
<p>Red felt his way through the darkness, listening as the song grew louder. A faint glow appeared as he drew ever closer. Then the light flared up and flickered into a normal size. Red found himself in front of a strange three-pronged(?) machine with a screen and keyboard in the middle, and buttons that he had no idea the function of on the sides. He looked up to the screen and a pit grew in his stomach.</p>
<p>Yellow was suffering through yet another lesson, curled up on the bed and begging for it to stop. The object was rambling on and on, unhindered by the laws of grammar or nature.</p>
<p>“And you can have a dream about losing your friends!”</p>
<p>“NO!!”</p>
<p>“And you can have a dream about BURNING YOUR FRIENDS-“</p>
<p>Red slammed his hands against the keyboard, trying to decipher how to stop it. At the same time, the object was replaced with Tony the Talking Clock, singing his same old song. Red and Yellow both reeled back in surprise as he fell into the rhythm.</p>
<p>“Time is a tool you can put on the wall, or wear it on your rizd. The past is far behind us. The future doesn’t exist.”</p>
<p>No, no he couldn’t let this happen! Red scanned the buttons speckling the machine, but they were all blank or labeled in a manner he didn’t understand.</p>
<p>“Time went new, got old like history. Stuff from the past went into a mystery.”</p>
<p>“You made me die!”</p>
<p>“But look a com-PUTER!”</p>
<p>Tony spasmed into a glitchy mess that twisted and warped itself into Colin’s form.</p>
<p>“I’m a computery guy!”</p>
<p>“You?!”</p>
<p>“Everything made out of buttons wires! I’d like to show you-“</p>
<p>No, keep going. He had to figure it out.</p>
<p>“What’s it all about you’ve no idea!”</p>
<p>Yellow shrieked and froze up in fear of the freakish butterfly man. It didn’t help that his glitching wasn’t fully gone.</p>
<p>“And all you see his hatred. And DARKNESS, death and-“</p>
<p>“-ICE CREAM BEEF! Ice cream beef! Ice cream beef makes your teeth go gr- gray!” stuttered Pete, followed by a soon-appearing Sally. “Doesn’t matter, just throw it away!”</p>
<p>Yellow couldn’t even find it in himself to get out of the bed, he was so paralyzed with terror. Somehow, the teachers were even more lifeless and scary than they seemed before, as they recited their songs in a hauntingly perfect monotone.</p>
<p>“Why not try some-“</p>
<p>“F- FISH ON MY TRAY!”</p>
<p>Yellow’s heart skipped a beat when Duck glitched into existence. He didn’t even look hurt! His older brother glanced around with a sickeningly terrified look on his face, screaming, “What?! Where am Iiiii-“</p>
<p>Red desperately clicked and slammed each button, only to watch new teachers he’d never seen before flicker about the screen, drowning out his brother’s increasingly disturbed sobs. His heart was pounding out of his chest, faster than he’d ever felt before and a growing sense of cold dread crawled up his spine. He HAD to fix this; it was HIS fault. He had to do something.</p>
<p>He didn’t even notice when the teachers started looping back around. He’d gone through so many of them that they’d started to show up twice, spazzing across the virtual room. Their clashing and interrupted songs started to sound like a cruel laugh that played over Yellow crying louder and louder. Red felt as if he was going to run out of air and just as he was about to break one of the buttons in panic, he felt a bony hand on his shoulder.</p>
<p>The boy slowly turned around, although it felt more as if the hand was pulling him to look at its owner. But he already knew who it was. His rapidly pounding heart quickly dropped into almost nothingness as Roy painstakingly stepped into the light. Red jolted backwards with a relatively subdued gasp, as if he was trying to choke his fear down. The man that had put them through all of this stared at him with that same empty, uncaring expression as he approached Red. And Red knew he was going to die, once and for all unless he did something. But what could he do?</p>
<p>He backed against the machine as he looked around for some kind of clue, or deus ex machina, or SOMETHING that could save him. There’s no way the universe would be so cruel as to put him so close to freedom and safety, only to prove that there was no hope. The world was horrible, but it couldn’t be that...</p>
<p>And then he spotted the cable. A long, white, barely noticeable cable popping out of the side of the machine. Red inched away from Roy’s outstretched arm, making sure to keep an eye on the wretched man. He trailed the cord into the darkness until he backed against the wall. Turning around, his hands rested on a large outlet into an even larger socket. It would almost be comical how unsubtle it was if it weren’t for the imminent death approaching.</p>
<p>And so, Red squeezed his eyes shut, forced his voice into a calm quiet, and said, “I wonder what will happen.”</p>
<p>...........</p>
<p>The trio sat in the discolored kitchen, absolutely nothing amiss. Their normal colors seemed twisted around and for a moment, they all considered the possibility that it had all been nothing but a very extended, very horrid nightmare.</p>
<p>“What’s your favorite idea?” sang Page.</p>
<p>And then the world powered down.</p>
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<a name="section0061"><h2>61. Teach You A Lesson Finale: I'm Scared</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>ahh, joyous creation, wonderous day, thank you readers for joining me on this journey. i hope it was at least mildly entertaining. sayonara</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The world fell into complete darkness, and stayed that way for nearly five minutes. Then, a bright light shone from the sky. It was the moon, but it wasn’t glowing how it should. It blazed through the sky like a spotlight, casting harsh shadows rather than shining softly in the virtual sky. The trio and Page shook their heads as the fuzz pulled away from their brains. Yellow stared out the window in utter confusion and Duck shrieked at the sight of Page.</p>
<p>“N- no shh shh, it’s okay they’re...” Red shot a glance at Page who simply gave him a nod of confirmation. “They’re okay, they helped us.” They'd actually come through for them... He threw a quick, grateful look at the object before continuing. “D’you know what’s going on here?” he asked.</p>
<p>The object ruffled their hair in thought. “My best guess is that Roy reset the world. I dunno what you did to make him do that, but whatever it was must’ve been pretty huge.”</p>
<p>“The machine...” he murmured to himself. A thought then struck the teen as he took in the darkened surroundings. “Oh my god... you’re okay...” He clasped his hands to his mouth and practically tackled his still shaken little brothers. His body shivered as he held them close to his slowly beating heart. “You’re okay...”</p>
<p>He could feel Yellow staining his hoodie with tears and Duck practically clawing into him as he held on tight.</p>
<p>Page awkwardly sidled in. “Uh, I hate to break up the family reunion, but we should probably make a run for it...”</p>
<p>Yellow wiped his eyes. “Wh- why?”</p>
<p>And to answer his question, an ear-piercing alarm blared through the virtual world. The spotlight moon started roaring around and around, in search of someone to take hold of. Page took that as their cue to get the hell out of there. They grabbed a chair and smashed open the window, crawling onto the sill and launching themself forward into a head start. Red watched, frozen in panic for a moment before following suit and waiting on the ground. He caught Yellow as he hopped out and waited for Duck.</p>
<p>“Come on, we gotta go!”</p>
<p>The 10 year old stood paralyzed on the sill. “I can’t- I can’t- I-“</p>
<p>“Yes you can!” Yellow encouraged. “You’ll be okay, I promise!!”</p>
<p>Duck swallowed and haphazardly lunged into Red’s arms. The two of them fell backwards but were quickly pulled up and into a run by their much stronger little brother. Holding on to Duck’s hand, Red sprinted after Yellow up the hill and into the woods.</p>
<p>The moon angled itself against the trees but couldn’t shine directly in, giving them a slightly safer shot to wherever the hell they were going. They’d never run far enough to see where the world ended, but now was a good a time as any.</p>
<p>Duck heard loud stomping noises and whirled his head around to see the food gang storming after them, hot on their tails. “LOOK OUT!!” he cried.</p>
<p>Red didn’t even have time to jump into defense or run to the side. Pete the Steak had already blew past him with Sally riding on his shoulders. The freakish object’s remaining teammates were scrambling through the forest with a look of absolute terror in their eyes. The trio paused and turned around all the way to see the rest of the teachers fleeing in fear.</p>
<p>Tony was bursting along the forest floor, using his extra arms that they didn’t even know he had to boost himself in any way he could. Larry had lost his apparent drunken stupor and was now determinedly weaving his way through the trees, followed closely by Shrignold. Red flinched as Colin rounded out the end of the group on his short but sturdy legs and the trio continued their flee into the woods.</p>
<p>It was a bizarre feeling, running in terror with the people that had tormented them for months on end. But they weren’t all too different from them while they were like this. They were just as scared and feral and wild as the children had become. The kids didn’t like how natural it felt to run next to these monsters as the moonlight shone through the foliage. They didn’t like how the teachers weren’t hindering each other, and some even tried to help. They didn’t like how Larry noticed Colin trailing behind and grabbed him by the wrist or how the food gang was working in synchronization like they were close friends. And they certainly didn’t like the looks that some of the teachers gave them. Because they weren’t angry or excited or condescending, they were just sad.</p>
<p>Red skidded to a halt as he spotted Page waiting in the distance and he held on tight to his brother’s hands. As the rest of the group slowed to a stop, he approached the incorrupt object and what appeared to be an infinitely tall metal wall, held together with nails and screws.</p>
<p>“What... what is this?”</p>
<p>“I dunno... I don’t...” Page’s face contorted into anxiety as they were stuck with the potentiality that there wasn’t actually a way out. Then the four of them were distracted by a very robotic voice screaming in frustration.</p>
<p>“I’M NOT STAYING HERE ANYMORE!! I CAN’T DO THIS!!” wailed Colin as he slammed himself against the wall. The action startled the whole party, partially because he actually talked and partially because it actually caused a dent in the wall. But then again, they didn’t know he was a robot. The short object twisted his hand into the computer mouse and jabbed and scraped at the metal, desperately trying to pull it apart. After a few moments, they spotted a slight glow from behind the wall, a glimpse of freedom perhaps.</p>
<p>Pete nodded to his teammates and dropped Sally to the ground. The gang moved in unison as they started tearing at the wall, trying to carve into it and pull it back. The trio gaped at the teachers one by one starting to tear into the wall with all their might. Joining in, the children worked with Page to help pull back a slowly weakening sheet of metal.</p>
<p>A chill crawled up Yellow’s spine and he turned his head back towards the house.</p>
<p>“He’s coming... ROY’S ON HIS WAY!” he shouted to the odd group. The desperate carnage of the last obstacle to freedom grew more and more frantic as the light of the moon grew ever closer. Until finally, a break was made.</p>
<p>Page and the trio finally pulled back the sheet, and a hole large enough to fit through was formed. Before anyone could say anything, Page was already out.</p>
<p>Red bit his lip and hoisted his brothers into his arms. “If this is really it, we’re all going together...”</p>
<p>And they stepped through the hole in the wall.</p>
<p>...............</p>
<p>When they woke up in their old apartment, Page was already gone. Red and Duck only remembered this broken down mess of a room from when they first arrived into the family, but Yellow recognized it well. Before they had much of a time to reminisce though, the other teachers burst through. Or rather, appeared out of nothingness.</p>
<p>First, the food gang materialized. Pete almost immediately took to smashing down one of the walls and ushering his team through and out the building. He hesitated and gave a very disturbing glance at Duck before jumping off the third story that the apartment was on to follow them.</p>
<p>Then Tony and Larry burst out. Tony shoved the smaller object to the ground and manically took in his surroundings before crawling on the wall, to the ceiling and out the hole in the wall, laughing in a panicked manner. Larry simply shook his head, adjusted his hat, and threw himself out the building.</p>
<p>By the time Shrignold showed up, the trio had subconsciously backed themselves into a corner and huddled up. The butterfly man rolled his neck and snapped around to look hungrily at the trio, as if he wanted to stab them but didn’t have the time. He sighed and drew forth his wings to fly into the night like a g-rated vampire.</p>
<p>Last and arguably least, depending on who you’re talking to, Colin appeared in the room. Instead of running away immediately, he also stared down the trio. In particular, he looked at Red with a completely indecipherable expression before stepping backwards and tossing himself out the building. With all of the teachers accounted for, the brothers undid their tight blanket of self protection and took a closer look at the machine they’d all been living in for the past two years.</p>
<p>“We... we’re out...” Duck clenched his fists around his stomach. “We’re alive!” he laughed.</p>
<p>Red looked at him sadly as he touched the stitches embedded in his neck. No. They weren’t alive. Not really. They were only here because they got lucky and-</p>
<p>“Hey guys, what day is it?” asked Yellow.</p>
<p>“Uh... I don’t know,” Red replied. “It was kinda hard to keep track of time. I think it’s sometime in December?”</p>
<p>“N- no what year is it??”</p>
<p>“...2011? Why?”</p>
<p>Yellow dragged the two of them over to the date flashing on the machine.</p>
<p>19/06/16</p>
<p>“What? No, that- that can’t be right. It’s just broken is all,” Duck said mostly to calm himself.</p>
<p>Red ran over what he remembered about the fucked up time. “No... Page said... oh no...” How the hell... They really had lost five years to the lessons, without even knowing it. </p>
<p>Something snapped inside of Red’s chest, and it all came crashing together. Everything that had happened to them, to him, to his little brothers, it wasn’t any of their faults. It had never been. It was always Roy. It was always Roy who had hurt them, even before this. It was Roy who brought those monsters in, it was ROY who made them suffer, it was Roy who killed them and it was ROY who experimented on them. And now, it would be Roy who would pay.</p>
<p>Red didn’t notice the tugging on his sleeves as he ran over the facts. That monster of a human, someone who was worse than all the teachers combined, was still in the machine. And the machine was breakable. He didn’t realize he was raising his arms in the air until he knew it was what needed to be done.</p>
<p>Red slammed his fists against the metal and glass casing of the machine, scattering shrapnel all over the floor. The other two pulled away as he reeled his arms back to crash into the sides of the prison again. He screamed in pure, genuine rage for one of the few times in his life as his hands raked through the wires underneath the casing. He didn’t feel his fingers snapping or his throat growing hoarse under the pure adrenaline and joy and cathartic fury he felt as the machine fell apart piece by piece. And he couldn’t stop himself from preparing to ram his skull against it in the blindness of it all. So his brothers stopped himself for him. Red felt himself fall backwards as two pairs of tiny hands pulled on his clothes and he crashed against the splintered wood floor. His fuzzy vision melted into clarity and he gazed lucidly at the pile of scrap he’d left behind.</p>
<p>And the children cried alone in the apartment. No more parents, no more home, no more safety, no more sanity, no more pulse. They’d lost everything they could have possibly lost and more.</p>
<p>But they still had each other. In the end, that was all they had ever needed.</p>
<p>...................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................</p>
<p>~Epilogue~</p>
<p>Perhaps you may be wondering what happened to everyone after the story ended. Well, you’re lucky that I want to tell you. Or maybe unlucky. It doesn’t matter.</p>
<p>The teachers all moved on to lives with varying degrees of difference.</p>
<p>Page had elected to get a name change to something less troubling, to avoid danger in the future. They had been trapped in a digital hell after performing acts of torture and escaping death one too many times for their liking. And they liked the opportunity to see their father again.</p>
<p>Tony had gained a new zest for life after his little date with death. He realized that even through all his longevity, he was still technically mortal, and he should really live life to its fullest. And so he spent the rest of his days committing various murders and wrongdoings until he was executed in the 2500s for crimes against object and humankind. His last words were “I’ve spent my time well.”</p>
<p>Shrignold continued to serve under Malcolm as his loyal aspect, using his beautiful stolen body as the perfect host. Unfortunately, due to the unfortunate circumstances surrounding Micheal, the body began to decay and after a year, he was left with nothing but a skeleton. As cool as that was, Shrignold resigned himself to waiting in Malcolm’s consciousness until his next beautiful host came around.</p>
<p>Colin decided that enough was enough, and that he would hunt down his creator to find out why he was abandoned, why he was unfinished, and why his existence was essentially pure suffering. When he finally found Test Tube again, she didn’t recognize him at first. When she did, she was simply disgusted, and refused to answer any of his questions. He didn’t have it in himself to kill her.</p>
<p>Pete and his gang returned to the Food Family and continued to serve under their orders for about a month and a half. But the whole, watching his found family die and committing death thing, really stuck with Pete and so, one mysterious day, a riot appeared to break out at the Food Family, and the gang was suspiciously gone. He just hoped there was still a chance for normalcy after everything he’d done, even though he didn’t think he deserved it.</p>
<p>Larry continued to destroy his body without any actual consequences until one random night he was hit by a car and struck with a sudden desire to fix his awful situation. And so he poured himself into finding a way to reverse object corruption. It had never been done before, but rumors say that he’s making progress.</p>
<p>As for the trio, they’d managed to find an abandoned house in a neighborhood that didn’t seem too keen on letting three children roam the streets. They discovered things about themselves, tried to move on with their lives, and keep each other safe. They promised to never let something like this happen again.</p>
<p>And every year on father’s day, Yellow would sneak into the old apartment and look at the broken machine. He didn’t know if Roy could hear him or not, but he would tell him everything. About how much better things were, about how wrong he was, about how cruel he had been, and about how strong Yellow had become.</p>
<p>And Roy drifted in his own personal hell for all eternity. An infinite abyss of nothingness, where he could hear and see the outside world, but never reach it.</p>
<p>And all was right again.</p>
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